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—— —   ONE   .

The first time was an ACCIDENT   ,   she swore on her life   .      It was meant to be on the cheek   —— —   a completely &&. acceptably friendly thing to do when one’s teammate presented the home-made meals his mother had so kindly prepared for all four of them   (   Kurenai Sensei included   )   that day   .      She hadn’t announced her intention   ,   of course   ;   the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind   ,   so when she leaned in to deliver her thanks   ,   Kiba’s head turned unexpectedly   .

It was kind of painful   ,   actually   .      A little like getting SMACKED IN THE FACE with someone else’s face   .      They had both staggered backward in surprise   ,   Hinata’s hands rising to cover her mouth as a deep blush rose to her cheeks   .      She stuttered out a squeaky apology through her fingers   ,   which meant that she could barely be heard beyond incoherent mumbling   ,   &&. it didn’t help matters when she turned around to face away from him   ,   hiding her face in embarrassment   .      It was all a good joke to the others   ,   but it took her quite a long time to recover from that fumble   .

—— —   TWO   .

The second time   . . .   was not an accident   ,   per se   ,   but it wasn’t intentional   ,   either   .      Kiba had come to her with an excitedly rushed explanation of this RIDICULOUS GAME he claimed to have learned from Naruto   .      She couldn’t possibly remember what he had rambled off so quickly now   ,   but she did remember how he had stuck the end of a pocky stick between her lips while she was still LOST IN CONFUSION   ,   gently bit onto the other end with a wild grin on his face   ,   &&. asked her if she were ready   .

No   ,   as it turned out   ,   she wasn’t   .      Nothing could have prepared her for when he began rapidly chomping down on the pocky   ,   moving closer &&. closer while Hinata was frozen in place   .      That is   ,   until he got a little too close &&. she panicked in her rising embarrassment   ,   attempting to shuffle backward in all her GRACELESS CLUMSINESS   .      He was already leaning in for that last piece stuck between her lips that   ,   for whatever reason   ,   she didn’t think to simply drop or swallow then &&. there   .

One thing led to another &&. suddenly she was lying on the ground   ,   eyes squeezed shut   ,   &&. a weight on top of her   .      Not only that   ,   but the distinct pressure against her lips had not gone unnoticed either   .      She was too afraid to open her eyes   ,   her face felt much   ,   much too hot   ,   &&. quite honestly she was still reeling from the fall   .      Before she’d completely processed everything that had happened   ,   though   ,   Kiba peeled himself off of her with a chuckle   ,   hovering above her with his hands braced on the ground on either side of her   .      She finally cracked open her eyes just enough to see that grin still in place on his face   ,   albeit this time with a VICTORIOUS EDGE   .

❝      I win   .      ❞

—— —   THREE   .

The third time was undeniably on purpose   ,   though perhaps not entirely a conscious decision   .      Or a good one   ,   for that matter   .      It wasn’t long after she had been   ❛   relieved   ❜   of her status as heiress to the Hyuga Clan   .      It hadn’t yet hit her what no longer having that responsibility on her shoulders would mean &&. she was still very much in the throes of depression &&. self - hatred for being unable to live up to her father’s expectations   .

She had failed   .      It was decided   .      She was worthless   .

As fate was prone to do when she had her solitary episodes of despondency that had always seemed to happen far too often   ,   she was discovered by someone despite her best attempts at hiding   .      She wished people would stop looking for her when she disappeared   .      She wished they would just ignore her   .      It was so easy for everyone to do when she was actually around   ,   so why was it different when she wanted to be alone   ?

It didn’t help that it was Kiba   .      If it were Shino   ,   she might have had an easier time being seen like this   .      Shino was quiet &&. never said much unless prompted   .      Hinata could almost pretend he wasn’t there when he stumbled upon her in these situations &&. had effectively convinced herself of it after the fact on occasion just for her own PEACE OF MIND   .

Kiba   ,   on the other hand   ,   was impossible to ignore   .      His presence was always so noticeable   ,   so significant   .      Not that that was a bad thing   ,   but it made it infinitely more difficult to tell herself that his memory of seeing her like this would be as FORGETTABLE as she was   .

Nonetheless he tried to comfort her   .      It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate it   —— —   truly   ,   she did   —— —   but she hated feeling like this &&. being a burden on others because of it   .      Somehow these thoughts had managed to slip past her lips unbidden &&. that certainly got his attention   .      He had grabbed her chin   ,   the other hand on her shoulder   ,   &&. forced her to look at him so that he could tell her directly to her face that she was &&. never would be a burden for simply having emotions   .

Something about the way he said it gave her pause   .      It wasn’t that nobody had ever told her that before   (   in fact   ,   she was pretty sure someone always gave her some similar reassurance at least once during these talks she hated so much   )   but it was the look in his eyes   ,   the way they seemed to catch the light at just the right angle   ,   &&. the firm hold he had on her as if he had put all the conviction in the world into those words   .

It was an impulse   .      He reminded her of someone else   .      She was hurting &&. she knew that didn’t excuse it   ,   but that was the reality in that moment   .      She was the one who leaned forward this time   ,   tearful eyes closed   ,   heart racing   ,   aching   .      &&. this time   ,   he was the one who gently pushed her away   .

Before she could let that sink in &&. devolve into even more of a mess than she already was   ,   he pulled her into a hug instead   .      Kiba always gave the best hugs   .      Somehow   ,   it was better this way   ,   &&. even though she cried harder   ,   like every other time   ,   she couldn’t resist that warm safety she felt in his arms   .

—— —   FOUR   .

The fourth time felt like a dream   .      Hinata was in that awkward   ,   in - between stage while she grew out her hair on a whim   .      Kiba must have picked up on how self - conscious she’d been lately   (   much of which had nothing to do with her hair &&. a lot to do with why she still wore long sleeves   )   because he had made the decision that the two of them needed a fun night out   .

The concept of   ❛   FUN   ❜   was still so strange to her   .      She hadn’t been allowed many freedoms as a child &&. her own mental health hadn’t exactly been very conducive to boldness &&. spontaneity   .      She was gradually becoming more comfortable with spending time with her teammates   ,   though   .      That was fun   .

It occurred to her then   ,   though   ,   that she had never spent time with Kiba alone   .      Outside of the occasional MENTAL BREAKDOWN   ,   that is   .      She found herself inexplicably nervous   ,   chalking it up to a fear that he might get bored if it were just her without someone else to be more entertaining   .      She thought Shino was more entertaining than she was   .      He knew a lot of facts &&. could always find something to talk about   .      Hinata was   . . .   plain   .      Uninteresting   .

&&. Kiba   . . .      Kiba was wild &&. full of excitement &&. energy   .      Hinata was sure she would have been LEFT IN THE DUST as they went to this place &&. that all around the village if not for the fact that he held her hand the entire time   .      They played games they came across   ,   checked out a few different shops   ,   enjoyed a nice meal in a restaurant   ,   &&. then found a nice   ,   high vantage point with a clear view of the sky as dusk settled   .

He pointed out how the clouds on the horizon made silly shapes   ,   then did the same when the sky grew darker &&. the stars emerged   .      She had to correct him once when he pointed at an actual constellation   .      Then he asked her the names of different groups of stars   ,   if they had one   ,   &&. promptly came up with one on the spot if they didn’t   .      Hinata was surprised to find herself laughing &&. smiling so much   .      She certainly felt lighter in that moment than she had in a very long time   .

She had glanced over at him &&. found his bright eyes trained on the stars   .      She was a bit mesmerized with how they SPARKLED in his gaze   ,   taking it upon herself to count each one   .      Her staring didn’t go unnoticed for very long   ,   though   ,   &&. when he caught her from his peripheral   ,   she astonishingly didn’t look away   .      He looked at her fully &&. for what felt like a long time they simply gazed at each other in silence   .

She wasn’t sure who moved first   ,   but she thought maybe they both did   .      It was slow   ,   as if it weren’t happening in real time   ,   &&. she felt a bit ticklish   ,   for lack of a better word   ,   like a light   ,   feathery feeling that kept drawing her in   .      &&. soon enough   ,   her lips met the source of that feeling   ,   a barely - there brush of skin before they committed to it   .

It was electrifying &&. so different from all the other times   .      This one was DELIBERATE   .      This one happened because they both wanted it to happen   .      It was also a bit scary   ,   in a way   ,   considering their shared history with this sort of thing   ,   but   . . .   it was good   .      It was better than good   .      It felt as if they stayed that way for hours &&. they very well may have   .      It was hard to keep track of time like that   ,   but she knew that the longer they kissed   ,   the less she wanted it to stop   .

—— —   FIVE   .

The fifth time was   . . .   awkward   .      Well   ,   in fairness   ,   it didn’t start awkwardly   ,   but that quickly changed when what had begun as little more than a WARM WELCOME to her new apartment took a turn for something a bit more   ,   ah   ,   heated than she had been expecting   .

She didn’t mind how intense &&. hands - on he could be sometimes   .      In fact   ,   she enjoyed it   .      It made her feel wanted   ,   like he was actually happy being with her   .      It was just that this time felt a little   . . .   seductive   .

The fear settled in quickly   ,   but she kept quiet about it   .      In fact   ,   she didn’t do or say anything to discourage him   .      She simply let it happen because she knew that was what he wanted &&. she was so   ,   so terrified of giving him a single reason to be unhappy with her   .      She was afraid of being the one to drive this wedge between them   ,   so she endured   .

Afterward   ,   she slipped into the shower to cry   .      It wasn’t because of what had just happened   .      It was because it reminded her all over again how BROKEN she was   .      She would never understand the desire   ,   the urge   ,   &&. she knew that one day he would notice that &&. take offense to it &&. she wouldn’t be able to explain herself because she had no explanation   .

She wanted nothing more than to make him happy   .      She would be whatever he needed her to be   .      She would do whatever needed to be done to make sure that he never suspected anything was amiss   .