"The road to hell is paved with good intentions," it was something Gojo had told him as a kid. Something Megumi had always remembered for whatever reason, but never fully understood until he found himself wedged between your thighs while you clung onto Aki for supportβ eyes half-lidded and walls tightening around him as you moaned his name into his roommate's mouth...
It had started off as a one-time thing, an unexpected weekend affair that he assumed would end the minute you were able to return back to your apartment, but with all of the unexplainable maintenance issues your side of the hall seemed to face, you kept ending up back at their unit, over and over until eventually the three of you decided it would be easier for you to just... move in.
βπ The apartment thrived on routine and balance between the two of them. Everything had its place and everything was accounted for. Chores were split evenly. Groceries were bought once a week and kept track of through a chart hanging on the fridge which they made sure to keep updated. It was a good system they hadβ a bit over the top at times, but something that you adjusted to rather quickly. You liked how much they both valued cleanliness, how comfortable and pristine things always were.
βπ One thing that they hadn't developed a set schedule for though was... where you were going to sleep. It was a two-bedroom and neither of them were willing to completely give up their room. You usually gravitated towards whoever got home first, but god, there really was no wrong choice when it came to who you ended up falling asleep with. Megumi was a side sleeper, usually ending up as the big spoon with his arms wrapped protectively around your waist while he'd whisper dreamy little praises into the top of your shoulder. Aki rarely slept on his sideβ he preferred lying on his back with your head rested on his chest, his fingers threading through your hair as the sound of his heartbeat drummed softly beneath your ear. And as far as your preferenes went? Pft, you hardly had any as long as you were able to be cuddled up in their warmth, listening to the little groans that they both let out whenever they dozed off.
βπ Eventually though, there were nights that you couldn't stand the idea of picking one over the other, especially as time went on and your feelings for them deepened. The first time you'd asked to sleep with both of them was awkward βwhich was comical really considering all the absolutely depraved things the three of you had already done togetherβ but they gave in rather quickly when they realized how serious you were about it. Sleeping in the middle of Aki's king-sized bed with each of them at either side of you made you feel like you'd won the lottery twice. The smell of their colognes mixing together as their arms wrapped around you. Soft kisses being pressed into both sides of your neck. The unexplainable comfort that flooded over you when you were smooshed between them. You couldnβt help but think that if you had to describe what heaven might feel like, it would definitely be this.
βπ Your relationship with them had unfolded so easily that after a few months, you didnβt really overthink it anymore. It felt normal when they leaned in and kissed each side of your cheek before you left for work or when they both held your waist to help guide you through a crowded street. It was second-nature to the three of you after awhile, but to the outside worldβ it was still something to gawk over. The amount of eyes that would follow you when you'd walk into a restaurant with both Aki and Megumi's hands resting on the small of your back was absurd. Some people seemed impressed, others disgusted, but there wasn't a single soul that would openly express their opinion about it when they were around. Well, except for...
βπ Yuuji didn't say muchβ not to you, at least. He was sweet. Polite. Very curious but not one to overstep whereas Denji.... Oohhh, Denji had a lot of questions and zero shame when it came to asking. "So, waitβ" He'd sputtered when he first walked into the apartment and saw the three of you sprawled out on the couch together. His eyes doubling in size at how close Megumi's hand was to your chest and how Aki's palm was lazily resting on top of your thigh. "You both... You're seriously both fucking her?! And likeβwhat, at the same time? β¦Or do you take turns? Duuude, this is so unfair!! Why would you do this with him and not me??" Aki was up and on his feet in a matter of seconds, dragging the blonde out by the collar of his shirt as Denji continued to rattle out more shameless questions that Aki refused to answer.
βπ There hadnβt been an official discussion between the three of you when things started to get more serious, but you could tell that Megumi and Aki had felt the shift just as much as you did. Theyβd always been protective over you in that quiet and calculated sort of way they both possessed, but after months of living together and letting themselves ease into the idea of actually dating you, they became a lot quicker to tell someone to fuck off if they felt like they were getting too close to you. It was almost cute, the way they instinctively acted as a team when it came to defending you and making sure other men knew you were spoken for. There might not have been a proper label for what you were doing yet but one thing was very clear: you were their girl and they weren't going to let anyone or anything interfere with that.
βπ Megumi wouldnβt say that he was jealousβ no, in fact, he was pretty sure heβd rather die than admit something so stupid. But some nights when the air in the apartment was thick with sex and the smell of your shampooβ¦ Some nights when Aki was behind you with a fistful of your hair wrapped around his hand and his cock stretching you out so thoroughly it nearly brought you to tears, his mind would wander to places he wished it wouldnβt. He loved watching you, loved the feeling of your slick coating his fingers as he drew dizzy circles along your sensitive little clit. You were so pretty when you trembled like thisβ so fucking gorgeous when youβd lock your arms around his neck and kiss him like he was the only thing that mattered despite how relentlessly Aki was burying himself into you. Megumi knew that you wanted him. Knew that there was no competition when it came to him and Aki, it had been the entire point of this arrangement to begin withβ for no choice to have to be made. For things to be equal. But stillβ¦ he could feel himself slipping when heβd sooth you through it. He could feel how hard he was falling when your face would nestle into the crook of his neck and your voice would break into these soft little whimpers that were just loud enough for him to hear.
βπ Aki was far from oblivious, especially in situations as emotionally and sexually charged as this. Heβd seen that look in Megumiβs eye more than onceβ that overwhelming mix of want and apprehension that seemed to creep over him every time you came undone. Aki had no reservations about admitting his feelings for you. No hesitation in claiming you or even marking you when he got too carried away. He may have been quiet but he definitely wasnβt shyβ which meant that between the three of you, he took the lead more often than not. βMegumi,β he panted, releasing your hair from his grip as he helped ease you into his arms. βShe's practically throbbing for you, give her what she wants, yeah?" Megumi shot him a look but Aki only smirked as Megumi guided you down to the mattress. βBoth of you need to let go.β Aki went on, kneeling down to place a light kiss on your forehead. βGonna be a good girl and give him what he needs?β He whispered, cupping your face with one hand as you let out the cutest, most pathetic little βMhmmm.β Aki smirked again, watching Megumi lift one of your legs up to his shoulder, his mouth dropping open at how perfectly your body took him. βGive him everything.β Aki reminded you, his palm roaming along your chest before he began to roll your nipple between his fingers, giving it a light pinch that made your walls flutter around Megumi.
βπ There was no way to compare something like euphoria and heaven, they both knew exactly how to make you fall apart. Knew where all of your most vulnerable spots were. Knew what words would make your hips roll up to meet theirs. Knew what type of thrusts would cause your bottom lip to jut out in that pouty fucking way they both loved. Theyβd studied you extensively and neither one of them had ever failed at getting you off. But even with all of that, this still felt different somehow. Megumi was deep, buried to the hilt with one of your legs draped over his shoulder and his hand tightening around your side to hold you in place, letting you feel every single inch of him. You could barely think. Barely speak. Your body was grinding against him so obediently, it had him moaning into your mouth. His dark hair pressing against your forehead as your eyes met, both of you completely lost. You were dripping, squeezing him so decadently that he almost thought he'd forgotten his own name until he heard it spill breathlessly out of you.
βπ Aki was like the devil on your shoulder, his presence grounding but methodical as he took your hand in his and slowly moved it past your chest and along your stomach, pressing your palm down onto your lower abdomen in a way that made your back arch and Megumiβs hips stutter. Your eyes locked in awe as Aki pushed harder, his breath fanning across the shell of your ear. "You feel that?" He cooed, voice sickeningly sweet. "You feel how fucking full you are right now? You like it, don't you? Yeah, you like the way his cock stretches that tight little cunt. Mhmm, suucha filthy girl." Your vision was white, your entire body shaking as your core began to unravel around Megumi. His tip kissing your cervix over and over, robbing you of all your senses. βTell him,β Akiβs tone was sharp, commanding not asking. βLet us fucking hear it.β His hand dipped lower this time, fingers slipping between your folds, dragging all that slick theyβd both coaxed out of you uppp and downnn until you felt something inside of you finally snap.
βπ βIββ you whined, still writhing between the two of them. βI love you.β It came out so fast you didnβt even have a chance to stop it. Megumiβs eyes were wide, his thrusts suddenly beyond his control as he looked back at you, just barely able to hold himself together. βMegumiβ¦β you pleaded, head falling to the side to catch a glimpse of the more sinister set of blue eyes also staring back at you. βAkiβ¦ Iββ You werenβt sure where to look, they were both everywhere and truthfullyβ¦ you hoped they always would be. βI love you.β You whimpered again, your walls spasming as you felt Megumi twitch inside you, the warmth of his cum mixing with yours before it began leaking down your thigh. βFβuck, I love both of you.β You mewled, one hand tangled into the collar of Megumiβs shirt and the other clinging onto Akiβs forearm. βSoβ¦ much.β There was a small beat of silence, the three of you still trying to catch your breath and return back to reality after coming down from the high youβd just ridden. Megumi was the first to say it, his fingertips soft against your cheek as Aki carefully brought your wrist up to his lips. βWe love you tooβ¦β
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"seeing if he melts into the kiss" trend with Aki, not proofread
The sun dimly lit the kitchen, his hands rubbing the glass clean with the sponge, his sleeves rolled up. Aki's bangs falling to his vision as his mind wandered off to places with the background noise of the water going down the sink. For a second, he didn't hear your steps, maybe he just didn't believe you would wake up early.
He felt your presence heavy behind him. That's what you always did, you filled the empty room; or the room he saw empty, it didn't matter how many people were in there, when you came, it would suddenly start to feel more than that.
Aki put the glass aside, turning off the sink and then wiping his hands to the towel. His gaze fell on you after dropping the towel back onto the counter. He took in a deep breath he didn't know he needed, like how he forgot to breathe when he was focused to his works. Both of you stared at each other for a few seconds. He didn't raise a brow, he didn't ask, he just waited for you to do the first thing. Letting you act in your own pace.
When you raised your arms to your sides, opening them wide, his body took a step instinctively. Arms already ready to go around your waist and face bury to your shoulder like it's natural spot. But he froze when you grabbed his arms instead, guiding them up to his sides. His arms in the air. Aki furrowed his brows for a second, hesitating to ask what were you planning again.
You and Aki's mornings were silent. No unnecessary exchanged words, no loud moments. Just you two. Like it was supposed to be.
He froze when you stood up on your toes to press a warm kiss to his lips, your hands cupping his face. He didn't have a cold body, he was warmer compared to you, yet you still managed to burn him with your every single touch. His hands automatically found your waist, melting himself into the kiss. But you guided his arms back into the air jail. Aki realized your plan. He let out a shuddering breath, trying so hard to not let it come out like a groan. Despite still being early in the morning, he put up with your stuff no matter what.
His arms suddenly felt too heavy in the air when you kissed him again. He would fight devils, spend hours boxing and training. But not being able to touch you when you kissed him like that? That was over the limits, a training he could never get used to.
Which got proved when he didn't even last five more seconds, one arm wrapping around your waist and pushing you against the counter, caging your body. His other hand going to the side if your neck as he aligned your face to himself, kissing you in a way that was too much for the first thing in the morning. Melting into you.
You let out a small giggle when he didn't even last, he was trying to act annoyed, yet Aki's lips curled into a subtle smile when he heard your voice.
"you were supposed to keep your hands off." You chuckled, arms wrapping around his neck. His voice hoarse: "I can't do that." Aki muttered against your cheek.
When Aki kisses you, he throws his whole back into it, kissing you like itβs the last time heβll ever see you.
Aki isnβt overly affectionate anyways, he leaves most of that to you, letting you grab him and hold his hand and initiate any kiss. He likes affection, that heβd never tell you, but heβd die if he didnβt get any from you, yet Aki is seldom the one to initiate it. Itβs not a matter of being too shy, itβs moreso that you take the task with ease, eagerness even, subjecting him to gentle touches and loving presses of your lips.
But occasionally, Aki needs to be grounded, needs to remind himself that youβre here, youβre his, and youβre not going anywhere.
Nothing can take you from him. He wonβt let them.
Shambling into the kitchen after such a day, you look over your shoulder to watch him loosen his tie and toe off his shoes, and you smile before turning to face him fully.
βHey,β you hum happily, wiping your hands on your apron, βhow was-β
Before you can finish, Aki comes up and wraps one of his long arms around your neck and pulls you in close, head ducking down to capture your surprised lips in a kiss. A massive hand cups the back of your head, and before your eyes flutter close in shock, youβre able to catch a glimpse of his face, brows furrowed in focus and body tense. You let your eyes close and your body melt into his embrace, arms wrapping lowly around him as your tongues move in tandem, rhythmic with love and assurance and grounding that you're both going to be okay.
Slowly, and with his hesitance, you pull back, hands coming up to cradle his tired face in your hands. He makes a grunt of protest and ducks down to kiss you again, only for you to shush him softly and rest your head against his, eye contact firm and slowing his quick breath down to normal.
"Hi," you whisper.
"Hey," he says back. There's the subtlest twitch of a smile on his cheeks, but you say nothing.
Instead, you turn slightly to turn off the stove and let him embrace you fully, sniffling your scalp and juncture of your neck, arms squeezing you so tight it nearly hurts, but you don't dare say anything to stop him.
He needs this.
Aki kisses you like every time could be the last, because, while heβd never tell you this, Aki constantly fears that one day, it just might be.
And heβs never about to take that risk without showing you how much he loves you whenever he can.
Summary: A tale of a strong knight falling in love with what he must protect.
A/N: This has been on my mind for a year! I honestly think this is my favorite fic I have done. I've had such a hard time writing lately, but this came so easy. The world became much bigger than I imagined. I wouldn't mind doing spinoffs maybe.
Itβs warmer here than Aki remembers it being. Right under the sun, itβs no surprise the castle was built on a hill. The most important building in the whole kingdom. He hasnβt been here in ages, longer than ages. Aki has been away for a very long time, but heβs now returned on special order from the King. He wouldnβt say it was unwarranted exactly. He was the best knight in the nation; it only made sense that the King would assign any special orders to him. When the message came to him Aki found himself intrigued by the offer.Β
Heβs spent the past several years on the ground commanding the kingdom's army into battle. Most certainly not an easy task, which was why he was interested at the King's request for a personal knight. For the Princess, the message noted. He didn't really know much about you. You were an only child, the sole heir to the strong King and Queen. He hadnβt spent any time near normal subjects, so he was unable to speak towards your character (though he had heard whispers between knights speaking of your beauty, whether or not they were true was to remain to be seen). That being said, you were a Princess. He was sure that nepotism carried you along in life, and he had a hard time fathoming you to be anything of a normal person. Not on purpose of course. You just had everything handed to you on a silver platter.Β
When Aki sets foot on the castle grounds he realizes not much has changed. The walls are still cemented with thick concrete, daring anyone to try to knock them down. Thereβs still the same silver birch trees planted on the sides, giving the castle a more warm feel. Heβs even seen a few familiar faces since arriving, to which he gave a curt nod before passing by. Aki hated to admit it, but he knew he was more or less famous now. He knew tales of his deeds reached far and wide within the kingdom once he became the leader of the army years ago. That was one of the reasons he was hardly surprised to learn that the King requested his help specifically.Β
Aki locates the head guard, following him around the halls of the castle to find the King. Heβs making small talk, half paying attention while half wondering what his days are going to be like. The sounds of their feet fill the halls, each step determined and measured.Β
He probably wouldnβt need to touch his sword again.Β
On the off chance he would need it, he would be more than ready.Β
βYour Majesty,β the guard abruptly says, coming to a halt and then bowing.Β
Aki tunes back in to notice the King standing in front of him, his attendants on either side of him. He looks exactly as Aki remembers. Tall and muscular, with deep smile lines. Itβs been years but he still commands the same presence he did back then.Β
βSir Hayakawa, itβs wonderful to see you again.β The King begins, voice deep and all powering. βHow was the journey?β If heβs feigning interest, Aki certainly canβt tell, but then again heβs never been one to fully understand royals.Β
βIt was pleasant, Your Highness.β Aki bows, keeping his eyes trained at the Kingβs feet before he stands back up straight.Β
βThatβs wonderful to hear. We were starting to get worried about you, you know.β The King starts walking, looking over his shoulder to wait for Aki and the guard to follow. βWe havenβt heard much about your ventures as of late.βΒ
Communication has been slow between the army and the crown for the past several months. There had been no major battles to report, which was a good thing. Sometimes Aki wondered if the royals wished there to be more blood shed - if it would be more entertaining for them.Β
βNothing to report Your Highness, everything has been calm on the ground, more or less.β Aki trails after the King, walking throughout the halls. The King is bringing him back outside, heβs noticed.Β
Isnβt he supposed to meet the Princess first thing?Β
βWell, I suppose thatβs a good thing, isnβt it?β The King adds. βHow do you feel about Sir Denji taking over for you?βΒ
βI fully believe in his ability to lead the military. Heβs more than capable,β Aki responds, images of the younger man pushed into a mature role at far too young flashing through his mind, briefly reminding him of himself.Β
The King looks over his shoulder at Aki again, a knowing glint in his eye.Β
Aki may as well be fully honest.Β
βHeβs a bit impatient, but that will dissipate with age Iβm sure.β Aki admits, one hand dangling at his side, with the other resting at the hilt of his sword.Β
The King hums and chuckles, agreeing quietly. βIβm sure no one could compare to you Sir Hayakawa, but alas I have a more important task for you.βΒ
The King reaches a large door leading to the courtyard, sun blinding Akiβs eyes as he follows shortly behind. Thereβs a gaggle of guards training in the yard, wood swords being thrust in the air with low grunts filling the space. Heβd trained here too once, long ago.Β
Several guards bow at the King, and remained bowed for Aki. He has some of the highest respect in the castle, save for the immediate royal family. It never feels normal, even if it has been for the past few years. Once acquainted with guards or fellow knights he quickly assured them that he doesnβt require such pleasantries.Β
He was wondering where the King was leading him, though.Β
βYour Highness-β Aki begins walking slightly forward, ensuring not to stand directly aside the King. He knows his place.Β
βThere she is, the important task I have for you.β The King nods forward, Akiβs eyes following the direction.Β
The Princess.Β
Youβre standing in the courtyard, with a guard beside you. Youβre wearing a long red dress, the color deep and rich and surely meant to be beautiful, but the color reminds Aki of only one thing. You have a small grin on your face as you watch the guards spar, with your hands neatly folded in front of your waist.Β
βYouβll be assigned to her until further notice, I sure hope she doesnβt cause you too much trouble.β The King bellows, catching your attention.Β
You glance towards the King, noticing your father and his entourage. Your eyes find Aki and he would be a liar if he said his lungs didn't stop for just a moment.Β
The rumors were true. Youβre stunning. The light catches your hair perfectly, giving an unnatural glow to your face. Aki has heard his comrades mention before of your appearance, but he thought it was all heresy. Now he can most certainly attest that it is not.Β
You walk up slowly to your father, the guard beside you following closely. The castle grounds are the safest place in the nation, but you can never be too sure. Thatβs most of the reason Aki was reigned in here.Β
βFather,β you say, curtsing deep. βI thought you had a meeting right now.β You stand up tall, shoulders squared back as you look at the King.Β
Youβve spared Aki one glance since heβs arrived, but he finds himself craving it once more.Β
βDarling, I was. We finished and I was on my way back to my chambers when I noticed Sir Hayakawa in the halls.β The King looks over his shoulder at Aki. βHe is to be your new Knight.βΒ
Once his presence is announced, you finally give Aki your full attention. He keeps his head high for a moment before dropping to one knee, rehearsing the dance he learned long ago.Β
For the King and Princes, a bow. For the Queen and Princesses, a knee. For other members of the court, nothing.Β
You lift your hand up as if on cue, offering it to Aki. He takes it, delicately holding your palm in his hand. Truth be told, heβs not sure the last time he held something so dainty.Β
Aki raises his mouth to your hand, kissing the back while looking up at you. A small smile tugs at the side of your lips, polite and vague as Aki does so.Β
βPrincess, itβs my honor to meet your acquaintance.β He means it.Β
βMy honor to meet yours as well. Iβve heard many stories.β Your eyes follow him as he stands up once more. βI certainly look forward to hearing if theyβre all true.βΒ
Aki would never tell you the stories of his ventures. They were far too gruesome for a lady of your stature. Whether or not the tales told were accurate or not was to remain a mystery, at least as long as he could control it.Β
The King inhales deeply, eyes darting back and forth between the two of you. βNow that thatβs all taken care of, I must depart.β His attendants and the guard who escorted Aki stand back. βIf you need anything Sir Hayakawa, do not be afraid to ask.β An offer that Aki is sure he won't take.Β
He would never dream of taking something from the King.Β
The King excuses himself along with his entourage, and in the mess of people Aki notices the guard standing near you leaves as well. Itβs just the two of you now facing each other.Β
βI was just out here to watch practice,β you start, facing the guards once more.Β
Aki lets his mind wander. He notices you arenβt standing on the parapet, which would have been more common. Royals tend to keep themselves above others in order to gaze down upon them. Yet here you are, standing on the same ground as the guards.Β
He watches you smile at the sparring. It doesnβt make him angry per se, but he does wonder if you know what theyβre practicing for. Theyβre here to train to be a part of the royal guard or knights. Knights being on the front lines of war, while royal guards were the last line of defense for the crown - putting their life on the line should it require it, and sometimes it does. Both roles are incredibly dangerous, with many lives already having been lost.Β
Is this all entertainment to you?Β
It wouldnβt be the first time a royal has thought so.Β
βDo you come here often, Princess?β Aki inquires, walking to your side. βDoes it not frighten you?βΒ
βI like to stay up to date with what our subjects are doing,β you answer. βPlus, it looks like theyβre having fun, does it not?βΒ
Aki looks back at the guards and notices laughter flowing throughout the air. Theyβre all young, innocent from all the harm that may befall them in the future. Aki supposes he must be cynical; heβs been in the game for far too long and yet somehow not long enough. He canβt remember the last time he laughed like that.Β
βYes, I suppose it does.β He replies, though heβs not sure if you were truly looking for one.Β
You look out of the corner of your eye and grin at him which he misses.Β
βPrincess, you must return to your chambers at once!β A feminine voice yells, each syllable more frazzled than the last.Β Β
Aki and you turn in sync, watching as a short brunette woman rushes over.Β
βIβve been looking for you everywhere Princess-β she catches her breath. βYour lessons are well passed due.βΒ
You give a tight lipped smile and nod. Aki doesnβt interject, knowing itβs his place to only provide assistance when needed, and when he isnβt needed he plans on just being a quiet fly on the wall.Β
βMy apologies Kobeni, I was only taking a short recess. We need to go over details of the dance, correct?βΒ
βYes. There will also be dress fittings.β Kobeniβs eyes slide over to Aki. He can tell sheβs wondering who he is, and if heβll be attending the dress fittings.Β
Itβs not his place to introduce himself, so instead he waits like a dog, patiently and quietly.Β
βThis is Sir Hayakawa, he is to be my knight.β His name slips off your tongue so easily, Aki finds himself wondering if you had ever uttered it before.Β
βI see, well, follow along then.β Kobeni turns around and rushes forward, not even glancing back to ensure the two of you are following.Β
You give a soft smile and walk after her. Aki trails behind you, going at a slower pace than his limbs are normally used to due to his height. He keeps in mind to stay right behind you.Β
βThereβs a dance to be had in two months time - the largest of the season.β You explain.Β
Aki doesnβt know much of dances, but he supposes this is what his life is going to be like going forward. A far cry from battle. Although, maybe itβs a battle in its own right.
βI have to practice for it. Dressings, etiquette, dancing,βΒ
Aki listens intently. You donβt sound as though youβre complaining, which is a bit of a shock to him. He could never imagine having to prepare for something like that.Β
βDo you practice with the other royals?β He asks, looking at the back of your head.Β
Youβre easier to talk to than he wouldβve imagined. He doesnβt feel as though he needs to hold his tongue as much.Β
βNo, this dance is for me.β Your voice echoes in the halls of the castle once you enter.Β
The rock encasing the castle ensures the inside stays nice and cool, perhaps a bit too cool, and it would have been considerably darker if not for the candles hung on every wall along with the large windows.Β
βItβs for suitors.β You finish, and Aki detects a hint of emotion in that sentence, more emotion then heβs heard from you thus far, even though it was barely anything.Β
βSounds exciting,β Aki isnβt quite sure how to respond.Β
He doesnβt know too much about the process of marriage for royals. He knows more often than not it is for military gain, joining two kingdoms together in peace. Less than rarely is it out of love. Aki isnβt sure he knows of a case where it is.Β
There are a long list of men your age (just a few years Akiβs junior) in the nearing kingdoms, all of different statuses. As there is no other heir to succeed the position in this kingdom, sexism be damned, you were more than likely to be wed to a Prince for his kingdom. Unless your father and mother could produce another heir, a male heir (which was unlikely) you would be tasked with producing two male heirs. One for this kingdom, and one for the next. Aki didn't want to think about what would happen if your body wasnβt up to the task.Β
βYou think so?β Your tone is calculating in the way royals usually speak, trying to find a hidden meaning. Royals are good for one thing and thatβs the art of communication. They excel at discussing topics without outright saying them.Β
Aki knows they are trained from a young age to navigate tough discussions, to use their words to disarm others. Itβs a talent Aki can admire, he was never particularly good with his words. Awkward and stilted, conversation was never really important for battle.Β
βI suppose so. I imagine dances are fun,β he says, never having attended a formal royal one.Β
You faintly smile and agree softly, leaving Aki to wonder what your hidden agenda was.Β
βWhat do you think of Kobeni?β You ask.Β
βShe seems nice, perhaps a little frazzled.βΒ
You chuckle at that and there goes Akiβs lungs again, stalling as if heβs forgotten how to breathe, as if his endurance built up over all of these years has amounted to nothing.Β
βYes, well, sheβs been that way for quite some time. She doesnβt look it but sheβs much older than me. She raised me for most of my childhood, she was my wet nurse in fact. Mother was far too busy.βΒ
That surprised Aki as he would not have guessed her to be your senior by that many years. When the two of you finally reach your room, much to Kobeni's impatience, Aki takes a good look at her face once more. Thereβs wrinkle lines around her eyes and mouth where there would not be otherwise.
The normal code would suggest Aki follows you unless you dismiss him, but he does find the back of his neck getting hot at the idea of being here for a dress fitting. Heβs not sure what that entails, but it sounds like it would be immodest for him to attend, the sight most likely reserved for your future husband.Β
βSir Hayakawa, you can stand guard out here while I change. Once weβve found the dress you may enter.β You walk into your room, βthank you for your service.βΒ
Aki keeps his face neutral even though the compliment surprises him. He had hardly done anything thus far, aside from guiding you to your chambers. He had fought numerous wars without hearing a peep of gratitude, so the feeling is foreign to him, yet not entirely unwelcome. βOf course, Princess. Call out if you need anything.β
Kobeni shuts the door behind you, leaving Aki to guard your door alone. If he listens closely he can hear faint talking in your room, various handmaidens assisting you in changing.Β
Though this job was much safer than his last, it was also much more boring. Heβs halfway through counting the stones beneath his feet when the door behind him opens. Aki turns around and looks into your room, finding you in front of a mirror, adorned by a gown. It was a deep blue, the length of it nearly swallowing you whole. Youβre admiring the dress when you meet his gaze reflecting in the mirror, which causes you to sheepishly look away.Β
βItβs not entirely fitted yet, although this will be the dress Iβm going to wear.β You tell him, refusing to meet his eyes.Β
βYou look lovely, Princess.β Aki murmurs, his attention drifting from your jaw, to your collarbone, to your dress.Β
Itβs a compliment he doles out without even thinking. You really do look like a Queen, even if you currently werenβt one.Β
You bite your lip and dip your head, your fingers starting to pull at the dress in a sign of embarrassment.Β
Once the moment is over you watch Kobeni talk with the two handmaidens, giving instructions on what they need to do next. βKobeni, was that all for the day? I'm quite tired.βΒ
Kobeni stops mid sentence with the handmaidens. She looks as though sheβs running on fumes, her mouth pulled downward in a frown. βYes Princess. Let me assist in changing your clothes first, then I will take my leave so you can rest.βΒ
βNo, itβs fine Kobeni, I think I can manage. Thank you. Why donβt you take a break?β You offer, turning towards her.Β
Kobeni looks like she wants to argue but refrains from doing so, instead ushering out the other girls while you watch. You thank her and the other handmaidens before they take their leave, leaving the two of you alone.Β
βWell, I suppose I will give you some privacy then.β Aki says, excusing himself.Β
βYes, it shouldnβt take me very long.β You agree.Β
Aki steps out again and closes the door, knowing you must change before he can lay his eyes on you once more.Β
The sight before him even just now was a treasure, the presence of the Princess wearing such fine clothing. It was a sight most would only dream of seeing.Β
He begins counting the stones again, nearly forgetting where he had ended off last time when he hears your voice.Β
βSir Hayakawa, will you help me for a moment?βΒ
Aki turns around again and opens the door, peeking his head in. He assumes youβve finished dressing, perhaps needing help to put the dress away. The sight before him is far different. Youβre still standing in front of your mirror, arms bent behind your back while you attempt to unbutton your dress. Aki quickly looks away as soon as he sees a hint of skin.Β
βI canβt reach the last one,β you sound clipped, patting behind you to reach the final button.Β
Aki flicks his gaze up to you once more before peeking his head out into the hallway again, making sure no one is around. Heβs not doing anything wrong necessarily, his job is to help you with whatever you need. Even if that was the case, it still felt so scandalous.Β
He steps inside, closing the door quietly behind him before he strides up to you. He notices how small your hands look compared to his. Aki locates the final button, noting there were still ribbons to be undone as well.Β
βThey make these difficult, donβt they?β He murmurs, unbuttoning the final button, noticing how the dress becomes looser.Β
You're holding it up with a hand on your chest, watching in the mirror.Β
βYes, they honestly do. I was hoping I could take it off myself but that seems to not be the case.β You let out a soft laugh at that, a poke at your own foolishness.
Akiβs fingers skillfully pull the ribbon loose, catching a glimpse of your bare back before he looks away. Under any other circumstance the sight would not be considered out of the ordinary. Heβs seen his fair share of royals before and on occasion their dress will reveal their backs more. Even so, this does not feel the same.
βThank you Sir Hayakawa, youβre dismissed. I will call for you once Iβm done.βΒ
He turns around and waits in the hallway, recounting the sight of your small hands and soft skin until he hears your voice through the wood. You open the door before he has a chance, once more wearing your red dress.Β
βI thought you were tired, Princess?β He expected that you would want to rest in your room for the remainder of the day.Β
βQuite. Letβs wander, shall we?βΒ
Youβre confusing. Youβre nothing like the previous royals heβs met so far. You have some traits that are typical, such as the way you seem to speak in riddles. Other than that youβre different. Youβve thanked multiple staff since heβs arrived, and youβve let him touch you, even if it was innocent.Β
Aki follows you out, unsure where the final destination is but knowing heβll protect you nonetheless.Β
You walk outside, waving at the children who pass by, their parents certainly working for the crown. He wants to ask where youβre going but holds his tongue, still unsure of what he can say. Youβre easy to talk to, sure, but youβre still above him in ranking. He would never want to overstep.Β
It isnβt until you are far out of the castle's bounds, feet navigating through long grass in a field when you speak again.Β
βI used to come out here all the time when I was a child,β you say, walking slower until you near a large oak. βStill do sometimes, though Iβm much more busy.βΒ
Aki understands why you liked the field. The area is quieter than the castle, not another soul in sight. He thinks it might be dangerous due to it being deserted but assures himself that if an attacker were to come then they would most certainly be located quickly.Β
βItβs nice.β Aki stops by the tree, watching as you walk several feet forward until you come to a stop, lowering yourself to sit on the grass below.Β
Youβll get your dress dirty, perhaps Aki should have come more prepared to offer you clothing to lay upon. Next time, he thinks.Β
βPrincess, your dress-β He rests a hand on his sword, looking over the field slowly.Β
βI know, itβs okay.β You run your hands through the grass as your shoulders sag. βSir Violence said the same thing every time I came out here. I do miss him.βΒ
Thatβs a shock. Sir Violence was your previous knight. Rumor has it that you were the one who fired him, although the action seems almost out of character now that Akiβs met you. Still, royals have their reasons, and their temperaments can be finicky at best.Β
Aki remains quiet, looking forward as though he hasnβt been granted to look at the sight below.Β
βYouβre wondering where he is, arenβt you?β You ask, and Aki can feel your gaze on him.Β
Aki was. Sir Violence had been one of the higher up knights, responsible and kind. From what he heard he liked being your knight, so Aki felt bad when he heard the news that you had fired him.Β
βYes, but it is none of my business.β Aki answers honestly, as doing so has gotten him the furthest.Β
βI fired him.β Hearing the words come from your mouth was even more shocking.Β
Aki feels a strike of anger, knowing Sir Violence enough to know he wouldnβt have done anything to warrant such action. Itβs the first time heβs felt the emotion towards you, and he doesnβt like how it lays on his shoulders, heavy and wrong.Β
βDid he offend you, Princess?β
βNo, not at all. His wife became with child.β Oh. Aki did not know that. βMy knights have to be with me from sunrise to sun down. It seemed rather cruel to have him with me for that long, knowing he had a wife and babe waiting on him.βΒ
Aki did not expect that. He looks down at you, finding you already looking up at him. He quickly moves his eyes back forward again.Β
βI set up a job for him in the city. Heβs to be the next chief.β That job paid handsomely.Β
βThat was very kind of you,β Aki murmurs, sheepish from how he jumped to conclusions. There would have been no ulterior motive for you to do that for Violence.Β
βI felt awfully selfish,β you mumbled, tucking your legs beneath you. βHowever, I am glad that it led me to meeting you.βΒ
Aki fidgets with the handle of his sword. Heβs not used to upfront compliments, not used to the way it makes his forehead sweat as if he was just in battle.Β
βThank you, Princess.β Aki knows he shouldnβt let his feelings get too close to the job, but youβre making it awfully difficult.Β
βYou know, you can call me by my given name.β You say your name as if it isnβt common knowledge in the kingdom. βI would be okay with it.β You hesitate for a moment like you have more to say. βCan I call you by your name as well?β Thereβs the greediness Aki half expected when he started the job, but he finds that it doesnβt turn him off. βWeβre going to be spending a lot of time together, after all.βΒ
βThat would be immodest, Princess.β He stands his ground, though he knows he isnβt too strict on the situation, and would give up if you pushed him enough. He half expects you to, half wants you to.Β
He wants to set clear boundaries. He knows that all he is is your knight, and that is all he will ever be.
Still.Β
Would you press the matter further?
Why does he want you to anyway?
βI suppose it is, isnβt it?β You fold in on yourself a bit. Aki can taste the disappointment in the air, thick like blood.Β
He clenches his jaw, unsure how to navigate the situation. When he doesnβt say anything back you drop the conversation, choosing to watch the field and the sun above.
You spend the next hour or two telling Aki about the upcoming dance, and all that it entails. There were bound to be countless people, which meant countless opportunities for harm to befall you. Aki would rather die than let that happen. Whether you preferred him or not, your safety belonged to him now. It was not a decision that came lightly to Aki.Β
The two of you lose track of how long youβve been out here, but he knows you canβt remain here forever.Β
βReady to return, Princess?βΒ
You flick your eyes up to him, facial expression dissatisfied but wordless. He thinks you probably want to stay out here for even longer. Aki doesnβt know how strict the King and Queen are with you yet. He imagines a little due to the fact you felt the need to sneak out here.Β
You stand up, stretching you arms up far above your head. βThank you for coming with me,β you say, a small grin on your face.Β
Even though he was only here because it was his job, he still feels his heart flutter nonetheless. Aki follows silently as you walk back to the castle.Β
βIβll have more lessons for the dance,β you murmur, giving him the details of what your day would look like. βI hope it wonβt be too terribly boring for you, Sir Hayakawa.β
βI think Iβll be fine,β he reassures, giving a small smile as a way to return the kindness you had given him.
~~~
He has no idea how he got here. One second ago he was bidding you good night, then the next he was following you down the dark hall with nothing but a tiny candle in your hand to lead the way. You had asked him if he wanted a treat but he had no idea what that meant.
Aki was standing outside your bedroom keeping watch, about ready to leave for his chambers when you poked your head out of your door, a mischievous grin on your face. You wore only a thin nightgown and it made Akiβs skin hot. You offered no further explanation, only a promise that he wouldnβt regret it as he followed you in the halls.Β
Heβs been your knight for a month yet you still find new ways to surprise him every day.
βPrincess, Iβm sure we could find some castle workers if we need to.β Aki starts once you reach the kitchen.Β
Itβs empty, the remaining chefs having gone home for the day. Aki almost feels like he shouldnβt be here, like heβll be caught any second doing something he shouldnβt be doing.Β
You are the Princess though, and short of the King or Queen reaching out to you then the two of you would be okay.Β
βNo! I know a recipe,β you chuckle, digging around for a bowl. βPlus, isnβt it more fun this way?β You flash a dangerous smile towards Aki and he has to force himself to look away, lest he stare for too long.Β
Once youβve gathered all the ingredients you need, you finally tell Aki that the two of you are going to be making chocolate chip cookies.Β
βItβs one of Kobeniβs recipes. Used to make them when I was a kid.β You tell him, tossing flour and eggs into a bowl.Β
He hasnβt had cookies in ages. The memory of them is like a whisper in the back of his mind. Images of a stool beneath his feet and his moms gentle hands guiding him, her voice soft as she tells him what he needs to do next.Β
βAre they your favorite?β He asks, eyes drawn to the way you mix ingredients.Β
You ponder for a moment before answering. βYeah, I would say so. When I was little I would sneak bites of the dough too.β You say. βDo you like them Sir Hayakawa? I hope you do.βΒ
βYeah, I like them.β He thinks he does anyway.Β
βGreat!β You smile before looking back down at the table.Β
Youβre beautiful. No doubt in his mind that you were meant for royalty.Β
βWould you mind cutting the chocolate? Iβm sure youβre much better with a knife than I.β You chuckle, the sound like a cool glass of water on Akiβs ears.
Aki smiles and agrees, beginning to chop up the chocolate into tiny pieces. The two of you fall into an easy rhythm, with you instructing Aki on what to do next. The sleeves of your night gown are rolled up clumsily and thereβs a dash of flour on your cheek. Aki isnβt quite sure how that ended up there.Β
βDo you sneak down here often to make these?β Aki asks, watching as you get the flame ready.Β
It makes him a bit nervous, his fingers starting to itch wanting to stop you so he can take over. He thinks you should depend on him a little more, but he supposes that will come with time.Β
βI used to do it more often. Kobeni would come with me, but one night we got caught and it freaked her out so bad she refused to do it again. We didnβt get in any trouble but stillβ¦β you turn back towards him.Β
He canβt help but let his eyes flick down to your mouth as you talk. Aki notices how plush your lips look, how they curl around each syllable when you speak.Β
Heβs a fool, he thinks as he pulls his eyes away from you.Β
You are the Princess.Β
Aki stirs the dough around, the final step before placing them on a pan to bake. Heβs about to take the spoon out to put in the sink before you quickly stop him.Β
βWait!βΒ
He raises his brow, waiting on further instruction.Β
βIs it alright if I lick the spoon first?β You ask, as if he could ever say no to you. Partly for his duty, but also due to something else. Something much more hot and tingly that curls in his body if he thinks about it for too long.Β
Aki lifts the spoon up, holding it sideways for you to take. You donβt do that. Instead, you walk up towards him and stick your tongue out, allowing it to trail along the side of the spoon. Aki sees the way dough covers your tongue before you bring it back inside your mouth, a smile on your lips. A feeling bubbles inside his gut and he canβt look away.Β
βItβs so good, Sir Hayakawa! You must try it as well.βΒ
He canβt say no to that.Β
Instead of getting a new utensil like a reasonable man would do, he nibbles on the opposite side of the spoon, watching you as he does it. Thereβs a grin on your face and the sight is sweeter than the dough on his tongue.Β
βThat is really good, Princess.βΒ
βI know right!βΒ
Everything after that happens in a flash. Heβs still stuck on the moment between you when the two of you form balls on the pan, before you place it into the wood stove.Β
You sit across each other at the table while you wait for the cookies.Β
βThank you for doing this with me, Iβm sure youβd rather be in bed.β You murmur, looking away from Aki.Β
He really cannot think of anywhere else heβd rather be.Β
βOf course, Princess.β He wants to tell you that heβs having fun, but the words fail him.Β
Once the cookies are done the two of you plate them, and share them beside candle light at the table. Theyβre warm and theyβre tasty, the chocolate melting in Akiβs mouth as he chews them.
When he accepted the job offer he was not expecting midnight rendezvous with the Princess, but thatβs what he's got, and so far he is more than happy with the arrangement.Β Β
~~~
Itβs the night of the dance and light fill the ballroom, laughter and conversation bouncing off the walls. There must have been a few hundred people on the castle grounds already, which caused Akiβs nerves to tingle. He didnβt want to be too stingy, he knew it was one of your only times to truly socialize. Aki could be patient. He was good at that.Β
Aki waits at the bottom of a large staircase, a plush rug filling out the space below him. He was instructed to wait here while Kobeni gave you finishing touches. You had been getting ready for what felt like an hour. It seemed like an awful lot of prep in order to meet one man. The event was held specifically for Prince Kurose. He was of a neighboring nation, just as Aki had suspected. There was no animosity between your kingdom and his, but a union between the two of you would only strengthen the bond.Β
It had only taken a few weeks for the King's advisors to decide on which suitor would fit best. Aki was under the impression this dance was to meet all of them so you could decide, but he supposes that was wishful thinking. Unless tonight goes terribly, you were to be wed to Prince Kurose. Tonight was just a formality.Β
Aki notices the room get significantly quieter. There could be only one reason for that. As he turns around he notices you walking down the steps, Kobeni in tow as she holds the bottom of your dress. Stunning. Aki doesnβt blink as you descend from the stairs, your gaze locked on the crowd below. He holds the hilt of his sword tighter, admiration flowing throughout his blood stream. If he had it his way he would rush up the staircase and offer help immediately, but he needed to wait.Β
Heβs grown fairly fond of you over the past two months. He would never admit it out loud for it would be out of place, but he quite enjoys your presence. He likes knowing he gets to protect you every day. Itβs an honor. Not only that but he likes knowing he gets to see you every day. Youβre more talkative than he would have figured. Youβve told him many stories since heβs arrived, and heβs memorized each and every one, locking them away in his brain to tell himself late at night when he goes to bed.Β
Akiβs become something more of a confidant, a friend even, although he would never say so in front of the King. First and foremost he is your knight. He knows this. Even so, heβs gotten attached.Β
The two of you would go to the field often. Youβd take a break and sit on the grass while Aki stood several feet away, always by the tree to give you distance. Over time he slowly started inching closer and closer so he could hear you better. He reasoned he would be able to protect you more that way, but he knew it was a farce.Β
After a month and a half you asked him once more, βSir Hayakawa, whatβs your name?βΒ
He looked up at the branches on the tree, only standing three feet from you now, knowing you would only keep asking. Thereβs no harm in telling you his name. It was more scandalous to help you undress and he had done that within hours of meeting you.Β
βAki. My name is Aki.βΒ
After speaking he looks at you once more, your eyes already glued to his form. Your fists are clenched in the grass below and there are stars in your eyes.Β
βAki.β You repeat.Β
His name has never sounded so good before. He knows it.Β
βThatβs correct.β Aki clears his throat, already sure that if he doesnβt heβll ask you to repeat his name again and again.Β
βCould I call you that instead?β A kind Princess. A greedy Princess.Β
βI will not stop you.β He hopes you do.Β Β
Heβs dancing a thin line between whatβs appropriate and whatβs not. Heβs your knight. He also cares about you. It only took you forty-five days to crawl inside of his brain.Β
βAki,β you say, looking up at him once you reach the foot of the stairs, dragging him back into the present.
He allows himself to smile at you. Heβs only given you a handful (he tries to be serious, he really does), but each time he gives you one he means it. He means it from the bottom of his heart.Β
βPrincess,β he greets you back, raising an arm up as an offering.Β
You look beautiful, he wants to state. You look more beautiful than the moon, his throat asks him to speak. I wish it was just the two of us, alone, like on the field. Donβt you wish that too, his mouth almost says.Β
He doesnβt utter a word.Β
Remember your place. Always remember your place.Β
You take it, gratefully and greedy, holding him close to you. Aki guides you further into the party, where you greet others as they bow to you. Aki brings you to the food tables, where drinks and treats line the area in large amounts. He hadnβt allowed himself to indulge, of course wanting to be of sound mind, but he urges you to do so if you wish.Β
You grab a glass, filled with what is Akiβs guess, and tilt your head back slightly to take a drink. The two of you stand there and people watch as you finish your glass, before you pick up an hor dβoeuvre. Aki stands silent as you eat, watching anyone whoβs gaze lingers on you a bit too long.Β
βHave you heard of Prince Kuroseβs arrival?β You question, passing your dirty dishes to a servant waiting to the side of a table.Β
βNo, I have not.β Aki answers honestly. He should be here by now. βYou know how the trails can be, perhaps his carriage is arriving late.βΒ
You look uncertain when you nod. Aki notices you clenching his arm tighter in your hold. He feels a bit satisfied in the way youβre seeking him for comfort, but the feeling quickly turns to acid when he realizes how painfully selfish it is.Β
βYou look handsome, Aki.β You say before immediately casting your gaze to the ground, as if the words fell from your mouth before you could stop them. They didnβt sound rehearsed or even elegant, they sounded real.Β
Akiβs cheeks tint pink and he hopes that no one can tell in the yellow light. βThank you, Princess.βΒ
Aki is wearing something of higher caliber. A satin shirt with matching pants with straps around his chest and thighs, along with a long black cape at his back. It took him an hour to get fitted for it, all the while Kobeni telling him he must look decent beside the Princess.
It seems a bit of a joke to him now. He knows he could never measure up to your beauty when standing next to you.Β
You fidget with your dress as your eyes dart about. He thinks you get nervous around loads of people, which should be ironic considering your stature.Β
βAre you okay?β He lets himself ask.Β
βYeah, yeah Iβm fine.β You reply quickly. Aki doesnβt believe you, and he thinks you donβt believe yourself either. βIβm going to do a lap of greeting people. I should be alright, there are guards everywhere. Youβre free to take a break, if you would like.βΒ
βIβve hardly been here long, all I've done is stand over here.β I donβt deserve a break, he thinks.Β
I want to be near you more. Let me be near.Β
βHow long were you waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs?β True. βSurely you must need a drink, or the bathroom.βΒ
He lifts his arm up, letting you tug yourself away from him. βIβll be fine, Aki.β You reassure him.Β
βIf you insist. I will be here though.βΒ
βIβm sure you will.β You tease, locking eyes with Aki before you slip away into the crowd.Β
You intended on greeting other royals. There may even be some more suitors here as well, intent on swooping you up should Prince Kurose fail. Aki tries not to dwell on the thought for too long. He tries not to dwell on the sour taste that sits on the back of his tongue at the thought of your suitors.Β
Aki says hello to those that pass him and make conversation. No matter how impolite, he keeps his eyes moving across the room while talking, searching for any sign that you may need help.Β
βDid you hear?β A voice near him says. He strains his ears to listen.Β
βTheyβre saying the Prince is a no show,β someone else responds.Β
Aki finds two women talking a yard from him. They look rich, heavy gowns on their bodies while they sip something powerful.Β
The Prince was a no show?Β
That couldnβt be true, right?
That being said, it is awfully late.Β
βI know, I feel so bad for the Princess.β The first woman murmurs.Β
Akiβs feet move immediately, taking him around the room. It's crowded in some areas, so he has to squeeze by. His mind starts to race the longer he canβt locate you. Surely you were still in this room, right? Perhaps he should walk up the stairs to get a better vantage point-Β
Aki passes by a table with seats, noticing all but one is empty. You sit alone, eyes glued to the floor. Anger flares in his gut at the sight. Just where was Prince Kurose? Had he had something better to do?Β
βPrincess,β Aki says softly, although part of him wanted to say your name, if only to see a smile pop up on your face.Β
You quickly find him, your eyes wide as saucers. Itβs almost as if youβve been caught doing something you shouldnβt have, but you havenβt done anything wrong. All youβve done is wait up for a sorry excuse of a Prince.Β
βHello, Aki.β You stand up, walking close to him.Β
He can smell the scents Kobeni had doused you in prior to the dance. Something sweet and delicate, just like you.Β
βI was looking for you.β He admits.Β
βIβm sorry. I was just taking a break,β you gesture to the table beside you. βHave you heard?β You ask. βTheyβre saying heβs not going to show. Prince Kurose, I mean.βΒ
Thereβs an unrecognizable emotion on your face.Β
βI have. Are you okay, Princess?βΒ
He knows the answer to that. Of course you arenβt. The Prince has made a fool of you tonight.Β
βYeah. Iβmβ¦β you look over the people in the ballroom. Some are talking, others are eating, and thereβs a small group in the middle swaying.
You spent all of those hours practicing for a pathetic excuse of a man.Β
Aki makes up his mind. He offers up a hand, eyes on yours until you hesitantly take it.Β
βWould you like to dance?β He asks, forcing the nerves inside his body to simmer down.Β
Your eyes light up and Aki decides heβs going to continue doing whatever it is he needs to in order to make it happen again.Β
βIt would be a shame if you didnβt get to, donβt you think?β Aki says, reasoning that itβs less selfish this way. βYou still should have a good night.β Princes be damned.Β
You smile and follow him through the crowd, allowing him to lead you. Your hand is much more softer than his in his grip, so he tries to loosen himself. Once the two of you make it to the middle, he faces you, holding his arms out in a traditional waltz position.Β
You eye him closely, grabbing onto him, waiting for him to lead as the man typically does.Β
βYou know how to dance?β You question, disbelief appearing on your face.Β
βI may be a commoner, but Iβm not a beast.β He replies, teasing.Β
Itβs partly true. If youβve seen half of what Akiβs done on the battlefield he wonders if youβd see him as a beast. Would you still let him near you if you knew of the damage heβs caused? Would you still let him hold you softly if you knew what his hands have done? Would you still say his name just as tenderly if you knew what he was capable of?
You laugh anyway, because you donβt know the half of it.Β
The music guides the two of you, and you dance. You dance. Itβs easy to get lost in it, lost in the strums of music and in your smile. Aki canβt remember the last time he had this much fun. His heart thrums, but instead of fear in his veins he finds something else. Something sweeter, something softer.Β
The Prince never shows, and Aki is partly upset by the fact. Heβs also glad that he gets this chance with you. No other suitor dares to step forward while Aki has his hands on you, and a surge of pride douses his system.Β
If it werenβt for all the stares Aki could delude himself into thinking this was like any other night, where statuses didnβt matter. You were just a kind beautiful woman in a dress, and he was just a man who couldnβt imagine being anywhere else.Β Β
~~~
Youβre quieter today. Aki wonders if itβs a result of the dance, if Kuroseβs refusal to show up affected more than you led on. He wouldnβt be surprised. There were discussions happening if Prince Kurose was off the table for marriage. His reason for not showing had never been revealed. The Queen said they should look for different suitors, while the King argued that a stronger relationship with Prince Kuroseβs nation was too important.Β
Youβre sitting near him, head low as you pick at the grass. Aki canβt take his eyes off you cause he feels like he should say something, knows he should say something.Β
He tries to decide what would make you feel better when you speak before he gets the chance.Β
βCan I tell you a secret, Aki?βΒ
Uncharted territory. This is one of those situations where heβs leaning less towards being your knight and more towards something else. He reminds himself that heβs already crossed over the line from just being your knight. Though up until now youβve never told him a secret before, and heβll have to decide if itβs something he must report to the King.Β
Youβre waiting on a response.Β
Itβs harmless by itself, and he really wants to know what you have to say.Β
βOf course, Princess.βΒ
You sigh, looking forward intently as if you see something he doesnβt.Β
βI donβt wish to be wed.βΒ
For all the things you could have said, he wasnβt expecting that. He hated the idea of being forced into a marriage, so he understood. Aki remains quiet to give you room to speak.Β
When you donβt, he opens himself up. βNow?βΒ
βNow. To Prince Kurose.βΒ
It made sense.Β
Aki wants to sit beside you to offer some form of comfort, but your safety is more important. He remains standing. βHave you talked to the King? Could they choose another suitor? I donβt think it would be unreasonable.βΒ
βI donβt want to be married under the crown.β You answer. βI donβt want someone to choose for me.β Your voice is soft, a tinge of shame in your words.Β
He bites his lip because he isnβt sure what to say to that. It was custom to have the King and Queen choose a husband for their daughter. There wasnβt a way around it.Β
βItβs for the good of the country, I know thatβ¦β You go on. He wants you to be more selfish. βI donβt want to be shipped off to another kingdom where my voice doesnβt matter.β Where youβll be forgotten.Β
Aki wonders if you might be crying, but when he looks down at you, taking a peek at the side of your face he notices that you arenβt. You have a blank stare. He realizes you do see something he doesnβt see, and that he canβt understand. Youβre looking at your future.Β
A future where you have no bodily autonomy despite being the Queen of a nation, because youβre the Queen of a nation. Akiβs stomach feels queasy. Any words of encouragement he may have had prior to this conversation die on the tip of his tongue as he watches your shoulders deflate.Β
The rules of this game were set in motion far before the two of you were even conjured into existence. You were a Princess, soon to be Queen, whose duties depended on the needs of her kingdom and Aki was a knight who would return to war in one year's time, name surely to be forgotten when someone eventually gets the best of him.Β
βIβm sorry, Princess.β He was. He truly, truly was.Β
βItβs alright,β you reply, looking up towards him, a small smile playing on your lips. βI just wanted to get that off my chest. Thank you, Aki.βΒ
βOf course.β He wishes he knew how to respond better. There must be something he can say to you.Β
βIs it okay if we stay out here a little bit longer?β You ask.Β
βYeah,β he would give you the world and everything in it if he could, but he is just a man so he cannot, but he can stand beside you in the field for as long as you want.Β
~~~
Itβs the middle of the night.Β
Aki was excused of his daily duties two hours ago, and it took him awhile to rest fully. The conversation the two of you had earlier in the day had been replaying in his mind.Β
He had been resting for the past hour when the screaming started. He wakes up with a jolt, reaching for the sword beside his bed in a blind panic. His room is dark, but he can see torches from outside run by his window.Β
Something is wrong.Β
He throws on a loose shirt, fumbling on his shoes while reaching for his door.Β
βWhat do we do?β Someone yells just outside Akiβs window.Β
Something is wrong.Β
He thinks he hears your name being shouted outside.Β
Something is wrong.Β
Aki canβt breathe as he runs down the hall, straight to the doors leading outside. There's a black hole where his lungs normally are as he scans the area. Itβs the same area where he first met you, where the guards train. Normally itβs empty this time of night, but right now itβs filled with various castle workers and torches.Β
βSomebody get the King!β A handmaiden yells.Β
Akiβs eyes fly around to see what the commotion is about. Stay calm. Itβs what heβs good at, heβs been able to stay calm during numerous wars but he canβt get his body under control right now.Β
He needs to find you.Β
Akiβs gaze follows where everyone is looking, their heads tilted back as they yell.Β
There you are.Β
You stand on the parapet, hundreds of feet up in the air. Youβre wearing only your thin nightgown, a sight that would normally make Akiβs cheeks pinken but now it only causes concern because of how frigid the temperature is.Β
Your hair is blowing in the wind and your feet are on the edge and fuck, what the hell is going on?Β
Servants are trying to yell up at you but you donβt respond, your eyes in a trance as you stare at the ground below.Β
βPrincess!β Aki yells, not a drop of sleep in his voice.Β
He runs closer, mind already racing with what he can do.Β
βWhy isnβt anyone stopping her?β Someone asks beside him. βWe should be able to drag her back from behind!β
βShe blocked off the door!β Someone responds.Β
Fuck.Β
Could Aki scale the building in time?Β
There's no way.Β
Could he catch you?Β
Does he trust himself enough to catch you?Β
Aki swears he can see tears in your eyes as you work up the courage. He has no idea whatβs going through your mind right now, but all he can focus on is the need to stop you. He makes a split second decision, turning around to run back into the castle. Castle workers run the opposite way, wanting to make a spectacle out of your decision.Β
Just as he had overheard, there are several guards banging on the door leading to the parapet. Once Aki rushes up the steps he sets his sword down.Β
βMove!β He yells.Β
The three guards step back with wide eyes, watching as Aki throws his whole body against the door. The side of his shoulder burns once he makes contact. You really did block it well. Aki rams himself into the door again, ears picking up on the sound of wood splitting.Β
He needs to get to you.Β
It takes two more tries before the door breaks down and Aki sees your back. Itβs so high up here. This area was meant to keep watch over the entire grounds and then some. Aki runs, your form getting closer and closer. He doesnβt have time. He thinks he overhears himself shouting your name, not Princess or any form of honorific but your name.Β
He isn't going to make it.Β
As soon as heβs a foot away from yanking you back, you step off the ledge. A crowd of screams come from below. By some miracle, Akiβs able to reach out and grab your arm in time. The bricks below crush his chest as he falls forward, putting all his strength in his upper body, and heβs holding onto your arm as tight as he can while you dangle from the wall.Β
βWhy did you do that?!β You yell, the first time Aki had ever heard any hint of anger in your voice.Β
There's a mixture of cheering and yells from below as the castle workers hold their breath, unsure if heβll be able to pull you back up.Β
Aki would rather die than let go.Β
He doesnβt answer, instead choosing to focus all his power on pulling you back, ignoring the way the brick scraps at his skin.Β
Aki manages to lift you up, falling backwards onto his ass with you between his legs. He wraps his arms around you tight, closing his eyes as he counts his lucky stars.Β
Youβre struggling against him, and even though his arm feels weak from holding you over the wall, heβs still strong enough to hold you down, and he takes every shove and push easily.Β
βLet me go!β You yell, tears flowing down your face now.Β
βNo!β He replies, body stiff until a group of guards come rushing up the steps.Β
Why were you going to do that? Why did you wish to die so badly? Aki was missing a piece of the puzzle, heβs sure of it. He needs to find out just what happened to you.
~~~
Itβs been several hours after your attempt, the sun having finally come up and Aki hasnβt seen you since. You had been locked in your room without visitors, only allowed to see the King and Queen along with the castle doctor. He examined you over and over to look for what was wrong, but there was nothing. You were in clean health. A sickness of the mind, he murmured to the King and Queen, voice just loud enough for Aki to hear. Aki had known all too well what that meant. He had seen others go through it multiple times over the years. He went through it himself when his family passed.Β
Akiβs been right outside your door the entire time, waiting on further instruction on whether or not heβs allowed into your room.Β
Once he finally gets permission, he canβt believe his eyes.Β
The King and Queen stand in your room, frowns filling their faces as they stare at you. The King is touted as being a kind man, but Aki has been hearing him yell at you for the past hour.Β
Something about shame, something about royal duties.Β
βSir Hayakawa, we wanted to discuss the situation with you.β The King acknowledges his presence so Aki straightens his back.Β
βYou understand that the news mustnβt get out, correct?β He goes on. βPeople must not find out what she tried to do.βΒ
βIt would make us look crazy.β The Queen murmurs.Β
Aki nearly flinches at that. She spits the word like itβs poison.Β
βOthers will think we donβt know how to manage our daughter, and if we donβt know how to manage our daughter then how are we to manage a kingdom?β The King says. His eyes dart to you, where he lets out a sigh. βWhy would you be so reckless?β He asks, the words uncaring.Β
Itβs clear that they arenβt worried for your sake, but more for the sake of your image. Theyβve never been unkind parents to Akiβs knowledge, never striking you or speaking vitriol.Β
The kingdom always comes first, though.Β
βKeep watch over her, Sir Hayakawa. Her handmaidens need a break.β The Queen speaks, looking at Aki as if she doesnβt see you in the room at all.Β
βSurely, Your Highness.β Aki bows as the King starts to make his exit, remaining in the position until he hears them leave the room.Β
Youβre laid up on your bed, face devoid of any emotion as you stare at the ceiling. Your window that used to be open constantly to allow fresh air in was now sealed shut, a counter measure to ensure you didnβt make the same mistake again.Β
The handmaiden who had let Aki in leaves, eyes stuck on the floor as she quietly shuts the door. Itβs like no one wants to look at you. Aki knows he should be the one to speak first, but he finds himself at a loss for words. What can he say? You tried to kill yourself. If Aki hadnβt been there, and he nearly wasnβt, you would have hit the ground.Β
βItβs good to see you again, Princess.β He decides on, because itβs true.Β
You turn your head slightly and look at him, and Aki has to force himself to remain still. Youβre looking through him. Your face looks lifeless, almost like a painting in front of him.Β
βWhy did you save me?β You question after awhile, your voice almost too quiet to hear.Β
There were many reasons.Β
He couldnβt stand to see another person die.Β
It was his job.Β
But above all else, because he cared for you.Β
He cared for you in a way he could have never seen coming.Β
βBecause I wanted to.β He answers.
βFor the kingdom?βΒ
βFor myself.βΒ
You look distrustful at that. You look like you want to argue back, but the words just won't come to your mouth because youβre too exhausted.Β
Itβs just the two of you, so Aki steps over and sits on a chair beside your bed. He says your name for the first time, which causes your lips to twitch. Not a smile, not by a long shot but close enough for Aki to consider it a win.Β
βWhy did you do it, Princess?β Aki questions softly. He needs to know why so he can help you avoid it in the future.Β
βI knew the dance would be the last time I would fully enjoy myself.β You reply.Β
The dance. Where you spent nearly the entire night together.Β
Aki looks at you and doesnβt blink.
He should have known you were not well after hearing you talk about your secret. Hours later you stood atop the parapet, wanting to end it all.Β
He should have realized. The way you were talking yesterday should have tipped him off. Heβs a fool. Heβs supposed to be your biggest protector yet he couldnβt save you from one of the biggest threats. Yourself.Β
βPrincessβ¦β
βYou donβt have to say anything.β You talk over him. βI know Iβm being dramatic.β
He wants to tell you that you arenβt being dramatic. Every feeling you have no matter how fleeting is valid. βI donβt think you are.β Fuck, why canβt he be better at this?Β
You look away from him, refusing to argue but also not fully agreeing with his opinion.Β
Aki stays at his post beside your bed for hours, and hours turn into days. He stays by you while the doctors try nursing your mind back into health, or at least healthy enough to be concealed.Β
He talks more often than you do. The roles are reversed now. Instead of the field, vast and empty except your voice filling the air, it is now your room, claustrophobic with people coming in and out constantly while Aki makes conversation. He tries his best to talk as often as he can, even when you donβt respond, which you usually donβt.Β
βWhy did you become a knight, Aki?β You ask one night.Β
Your eyes have a little bit more light in them. Itβs been two weeks since the fateful night, and you seem to be almost on the mend.Β
Aki wants to say βI donβt know.β It would be much easier if he did. He wouldnβt need to explain his life story, but he realized he didnβt mind if it was to you.Β
βWhen I was a child, my family got killed in a war.β He says, looking at your floor. βI never found out who did it, but I wanted to join the military to try.β It was his lifeβs mission in fact. βI wanted revenge.βΒ
He didnβt admit that part of him feels like he has to. He wanted to, of course, but it also felt as though there were no other choices. He was a prisoner to it, locked down until he was able to satiate the monster inside of him. Aki realizes the two of you might be in similar situations. Youβre sealed off in your room, the Princess of a nation who must attend to her duties, chained to your family name. Aki understands heβs chained to the past, a slave to his own decisions.Β
βHave you found it, Aki?β You ask. βRevenge.βΒ
Thatβs the thing. He hasnβt.Β
βYou must have, or else you wouldnβt have accepted the offer to be my knight.βΒ
Why did he accept it? Heβs glad he did now, of course. However, he could have easily denied the King, told him the ground needed him much more. It would have been a risky move, but the King had granted him his wishes up until this point.Β
If he stayed on the ground he could have continued seeking revenge for his family. Was that what he still wanted? Did he subconsciously reach a hand out when accepting this offer, his inner thoughts telling him that enough was enough?Β
βNo,β He takes a gulp of air. βNo, I didnβt find it.βΒ
You avoid meeting his eyes and he knows he must have made it awkward. He needs to fix the situation. He needs you to know he doesnβt regret coming here.Β
βIβm glad I left though.β Heβs being honest when he says that, even though he never thought that idea would be possible in a million years. βIβm glad I met you.βΒ
βDonβt do that.β Your voice is soft, sadness leaking from your words.Β
βDo what?β He inches closer, kneeling beside your bed now.Β
You sit up, finally looking his way. Your brows are creased, and it looks like you have a million things to say. βDonβt say what you donβt mean.βΒ
Aki murmurs your name and he would have thought you took a knife to the chest with the expression you make.Β
βI do mean it. Iβm glad I became your knight.β He wants to say βfriendβ instead, but knows he shouldnβt.Β
Truth be told, he saw you in a different light than just the Princess since the night the two of you shared in the kitchen.Β
βHave I gone Mad?β You ask. βAm I the only one who doesnβt see you like that?βΒ
It feels like Aki is free falling.Β
βDo you only see me as your Princess, Aki?β
He doesnβt know how to respond. He doesnβt know how to tell you that he's been in love with you since he saw you in your old nightgown with flour on your face.
Aki whispers your name like it might slow the situation down. The two of you shouldnβt be doing this. It will cause you so much trouble.Β
βAki, Iβm in love with you!βΒ
Itβs just the two of you in the room. Your words bounce of the walls. If Aki had any sense left in him he would worry that someone outside would have heard your confession. He doesnβt, though. He only cares about what you said because theyβve been on his mind for months.Β
Heβs never been good with words, so he lets his body do the talking for him.Β
Aki reaches over, letting his hand rest on your cheek. He brings his lips to yours and kisses you so softly it almost feels like he hasnβt made contact. Your lips taste of tea, with a hint of salt. Maybe from dried tears. Youβre stunned at first, remaining still before you push into him, deepening the kiss. Itβs everything Aki has wanted. He communicates his feelings to you through the seam of his mouth.Β
I love you.Β
I donβt want anyone else but you.Β
I would rather die than see you jump off the ledge, or marry another.Β
Aki spoke of your greediness to himself, even though he wanted to drink it all up. But perhaps he was more greedy than any royal, more greedy than even you.
When he pulls back and opens his eyes he finds you staring at him. βWhy did you do that?β You ask, surprise etched in your features.Β
βI love you.β He murmurs back to you.Β
I love you. I love you. I love you.Β
You begin to cry, reaching forward to grab at him. He slides into your bed beside you and holds you against his chest, even though he knows it must be uncomfortable.Β
βAki, I cannot marry Prince Kurose or anyone else.βΒ
βI know,β He wants you to be with him instead.Β
βWhat are we going to do?β Your sobs fill the room. βWe should be together,β you whisper before pulling back to look up at him. βAki, do you want to be with me?βΒ
βOf course I do,β he says your name softly.
βWould you run away with me?β Your eyes are filled with hope at the new idea.Β Β
Do you know what youβre saying? It would damage the rest of your life. Aki would be a traitor and his head would be wanted by the entire kingdom, but that he does not care for. He only cares for the image of you in a small house with no warm water, and an uncomfortable bed.Β
He wants you to have the best of the best.Β
Except you arenβt happy here.Β
He isnβt sure what to do. He wants so badly to help you and save you from this situation.
Life outside could be treacherous.Β
No. He can make it work. He will make it work. He will work as hard as he must to provide for you.Β
βAre you sure you want that?β He questions, breathless as he looks at your sparkling eyes.Β
βI am.β You reply. βRun away with me.βΒ
~~~
Aki says your name when he gets to your room, each letter lighter than the last. Itβs nice, saying your name. It flows off his lips so easily he would swear that he was born to say it. Not because you were the Princess of his kingdom, but because you were his.Β
Itβs been two days since the night you decided to leave the kingdom together. Once you made up your mind your entire demeanor changed. You smiled again, more talkative with all of your handmaidens. The doctor even said you might be ready to leave your room soon.Β
They had no idea.Β
βAre you ready?β He asks, his gut telling him to turn around to ensure no one was near by, but his brain telling him not to.Β
He doesnβt want to look. It would be safer to check, but if he doesnβt look then no one is there. Itβs not how reality works, but Aki can hope.Β
A giddy smile plays on your lips, your eyes lighting up. There's that smile that Aki swore he would do anything for. Thereβs a ratty dress on your body, a little too short but it covers all the necessary areas. He also gifted you a thick jacket to keep you heated during the night. Aki had bought both from a castle worker who had no idea they were aiding in betrayal. He wanted you to be wearing something that wouldnβt stick out like a sore thumb, even though you truly ought to be wearing only the finest of clothes.Β
If the King were to find out what Aki planned to do, what the two of you planned to do, then he surely would have Akiβs head.Β
Nothing fun ever came without risks.Β
βYes,β you carry nothing, Aki having told you it was better to pack lighter.Β
He carries several rations of food and drink, heavier on his back than any metal sword. His hand grips yours tight like heβll lose you, even though there are torches lining the castle walls. The light dances off the two of you as you make your way into the night.
It wouldn't take the guards long to notice your absence. Aki was grateful that he knew all of their schedules, as it had greatly helped him in plotting your escape.Β
He hears a shuffling noise before you do, quickly yanking you back around a corner and sliding his hand over your mouth. Now he really felt like a criminal. There was no way he would risk either of you being seen.Β
Once the coast is clear he rushes forward, hand holding yours as he hugs the wall while making his way closer and closer to the exit. The two of you had mere minutes to do this. The plan was to slip out the back, cross over the field where you spent many hours together, and you would be free. You would have to exit the kingdom first, but once you left the field and entered into the streets neither of you would have to worry about weary eyes. The both of you would be long gone from the country before the guards even thought that you may have left the castle.Β
Heβs looking out into the darkness, waiting to see if any torches pass by. Itβs the shift change. Once he decides that itβs now or never, he holds your hand and runs out the castle, through the back door. The night is cold as it kisses Akiβs skin, perhaps to jolt him back to reality. Is he sure he wants to do this? Is he really sure he wants to do this? Once the two of you left there would be no turning back for him.Β
Heβs never been so sure of anything in his life.Β
Somewhere along the way, between lush grass and whispered discussions Aki found himself deeply and irreparably in love with you. It didnβt matter that he was a knight who grew up on the streets, groomed for a life of hardship. It didnβt matter that you were a Princess, destined for a life of delicacy.Β
Perhaps itβs because of who you are that led the two of you to a life of love and betrayal. Not because you were wealthy and he was not, but because you taught Aki more things in the several months that he's known you than he learned his entire life. You taught him how to smile again, how to love again. Heβs worth more than a life of revenge. He wants to be good for you.Β
It would be a more exciting tale had there been a guard who caught the two of you right as you were about to make your great escape. If guards pulled you apart from each other, where you would never see the other again.Β
That isn't what happened.Β
Instead, you and Aki are able to slip from the castle door, no one around to see your choice.Β
Akiβs heart is loud in his ears as the two of you travel further and further, past the field of green, not even a bird in sight.Β
βHow are your feet?β Aki asks, looking at your side profile, your face mostly covered by the large hood you wore. He wanted to get a horse, he could not bare to see you walk the far distance he knew was ahead, but he didnβt want to draw too much attention.Β
βIβm okay,β he can tell you want to say his name but you donβt want to risk it while youβre still in the city, even though everyone is fast asleep in their beds. βWe havenβt been walking that long.βΒ
The shops surrounding you both are closed for the night, but Aki knows they will open up in several hours, with guards eventually walking through to warn them of the Princessβs status. All hands would be on deck, so the two of you really needed to make it out of the city before morning's first light.Β
On the edge of town thereβs a family who raises horses for a living. You just need to make it there and it would be alright. Sure it would be a life on the run, but Aki trusted himself to be able to keep you out of the King's eye as long as you left the city.Β
The two of you are silent as you walk through the empty roads, knowing the kingdom isn't the largest by any means, but feeling as though the road ahead of you will never end. You keep a tight grip on Akiβs hand which calms his nerves a little, a way to show him that you want this.Β
His other hand keeps close contact with his sword should he need it, even though he really hoped he wouldnβt.Β
You finally reach your destination after an hour of walking. Itβs a small house on a hill, the city looking tiny and faraway in the distance. Aki speaks in hushed tones as he exchanges a bag of gold coin for a large horse, one big enough for the two of you. Her coat is brown, and her hair is soft as silk.Β
Aki grins when he notices you patting her head, promising to give her an apple as soon as youβre able to get your hands on one.Β
You did it, you really did it.Β
βAre you ready?β Aki asks, his shoulders light now that the two of you have made it free.Β
βOf course.β You smile back.Β
He helps you mount the horse with ease before jumping up to get on himself. The man who sold him the horse was not able to get a good look at your face, thanks to your coat. Aki bids him farewell before taking the reins on the horse, letting her guide you both down the path away from the kingdom.Β
The dawn arrives, the skyβs colors muted as the horses' hooves clack against the road. It had been several hours since you escaped. Surely the guards were searching for you and Aki by now.Β
It doesnβt matter. It doesnβt matter because you made it. Even though you two were bound to face hardships going forward, Aki knows he will keep you safe and happy. He vowed to.Β
Aki has never broken a promise before, and he doesnβt plan on doing it now.Β
You ride off into the rest of your lives.Β
Tag List: @mikisspeak, @dinolvrrr, @sauki1, @reiluvr, @gothiccwhore666, @bunviixo, @slutshamethesquirrels
If you would like to be tagged just let me know. Please specify what you would like to be tagged in.
Captain Hayakawa seemed to have it out for you, if the constant remarks and comments were any indicator. That was something you had come to terms with. What you hadn't expected was for something to shift between the two of you. Something dangerous.
Suddenly, the line between hate and passion had never been murkier.
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ᴺᴼᡠᴾᴸᴬα΅α΄΅α΄Ία΄³ : 1/12/26
cw/tags: hayakawa aki/reader, aki hayakawa/reader, himeno, enemies to lovers, like aki is meannnn, slow burn, coworkers to lovers, asshole aki, explicit sexual content, drunk mishaps, including from himeno, sexual tension, resolved sexual tension, gratuitous smut, sex pollen, vaginal sex, reader lowkey has problems, dom/sub dynamics, semi-publix sex, rough sex, rough kissing, oral sex, everyone but them knows they're into eachother, just read itll be a good time, abuse of authority, nastyyyy smut, aki hayakawa is a freak, but so are you , BDSM, so much angst.
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Fluff | Tension | Chainsaw Man AU | Itβs hard to focus on the job when Aki is distracting.
Rain taps softly against the windshield, a steady rhythm that fills the quiet inside the car.
The city lights blur as the car moves past. Aki, sits with one hand steady on the wheel, the other resting loosely near the gear shift. Calm focus. Like he was built for thisβ controlled, quiet, precise.
You sit in the passenger seat. Silent, not moving much. The previous job took longer than expected.
But you have enough energy to look.
It starts small. A glance. Then another.
After a minute, you're studying him.
The way his fingers flex slightly when he turns the steering wheel. The faint tension in his forearm. The clean line of his jaw, sharp even in the dim glow of streetlights. His hair, slightly damp from the rain, falling just enough around his eyes to make him look... unfair.
You don't even realize how obvious it's gotten.
Untilβ
"You're staring."
His voice's flat, eyes still on the road... and you're too tired to look away.
"No, I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm observing."
Aki exhales quietly, like he's already tired of this conversation. But there's no bite to it.
"You're distracting."
"I know, right." You turn your body just slightly more toward him, chin resting on your hand. "But, you're driving just fine. Focused and all," you add teasingly.
Bold. Unapologetic.
"...That's not the point," He says quietly, if you weren't already looking at him, you would've missed it.
"Can't help it," you murmur, "You look good."
Silence. Not awkward. Just...full.
Aki's grip on the steering tightens for half a second. Barely noticeable. Active restrain.
He doesn't respond. Doesn't look at you. He keeps on driving. But there's a faint shift in his postureβmore aware, more present.
The car slows as he pulls into a narrow parking spot near your destination.
Rain still falling. Wipers clicking.
The world feels smaller in the car.
He shifts into reverse, turning slightly in your direction. Thenβ
His arm lifts. Extends behind your seat, resting against the headrest.
Time stops. He's closer now. Much closer.
His shoulder shifts toward you, his chest angling slightly your way as he looks over his shoulder to back the car in.
The sleeves of his shirt pulls just enough. The subtle flex of muscle along his arm.
The buttons on his shirt look like they're holding on for dear life. He's been training a lot, and it shows. The motion of his body is effortless, unintentional.
Your brain?
Gone.
Your eyes flick down. Then up. Then back again.
"...Aki."
He doesn't answer right away. Focused on parking. "Hmm?"
You swallow. "You're doing that on purpose."
The car straightens perfectly into place.
He shifts it into park.
Thenβ he finally looks at you.
"...Doing what?"
You blink up at him, cheeks warm now, completely caught in his gaze.
"That." You gesture vaguely at... all of him.
The arm. The angle. The proximity. The effect. Magnetic.
Aki's gaze lingers on you for a second longer than usual.
Thenβever so slightlyβ his mouth tilts. Not a full smile. Just enough.
"...You're still staring."
You don't even try to deny it this time.
"...Can you blame me?"
Another pause.
Thenβhe leans just a fraction closer. Close enough that his voice drops without effort.
"...And you're always this distracting."
Your heart stumbles. His arm still behind your seat. Close. Still making your thoughts short-circuit.
Then he pulls back. Casual again. Like nothing happened.
"Come on," he says, reaching for the door. "We've got work."
You sit there for half a second longer. Processing. Recovering.
Then you open your door, stepping into the rainβbut your mind is still inside the car. Still stuck on the way he moved. The way he looked at you with those midnight-colored eyes.
The worst part is that the reports will be hell to focus on.
But the best part?
Tomorrow, on another mission, you'll get to stare at him all over again.
β‘ would feel so safe in his car. β‘
β‘ love a man that flirts without even trying βΊ Masterlistβ‘
Sometimes, nights with Aki were hard. His past haunted him, and truly, you expected it. Everything he went through, it was obviously going to leave a scar on him. Physically and mentally. But you were always here for him when those nights occured.When he would wake up, gasping, sweat trickling down his temples, a haunted look in his eyes.
He always tried to be quiet, always tried to calm himself down enough not to disturb you and peacefully go back to sleep. But it almost never worked.
He could hear his own heart beating in his ears, his pulse felt too loud, the room to big and not big enough at the same time. And as much as he tried to keep his breaths low, he always, always, ended up feeling your gentle hands on his face, and your sweet voice calming him down in short time.
He would feel you turn his head, and his panicked gaze would meet your sleepy, soft and sure one. He would feel you cup his face and your lips on his forehead as you gently spoke to him, helping him calm down with nothing else but the simple magic of your voice.
You would tell him that "Its okay. Everything is fine. You're safe. Im here. Nothing can hurt you now. Its all in the past."He would always nod along to your words, always confirm what you were saying, but it always took more than words to make him believe it. You had to make him feel it.
You would help him settle his head on your lap, and softly run your fingers through his hair as you whispered love to him." I know it hurts, honey. I know. It isnt easy to get over something like that. It takes time. And you'll get there, because you have all the time in the world. We have all the time in world. And nothing will change that. You're safe, I wont let anything hurt you. Not even your own mind." You smiled down at him, gently booping his nose and feeling relief twist your chest when he gave you a smile back.
You felt his breathing slow down to a normal pace, his eyes releasing their panic, and with that, tears brimming his vision and cascading down his smooth cheeks. Your heart clenched painfully at the sight of your beautiful lover in so much pain. So much pain that you wish you could take away from him and make sure he never felt anything closely resembling it.
You cooed at him, leaning down and wrapping your arms around him securely as he sobbed into your lap. You shushed him, running your fingers through his hair and down his back, knowing that he just needed to let it out right now, and knowing that you'd always be here with him when he'd need it. You knew you'd do anything for him.
He cried for a long time, but you knew he needed it. More than just release, he needed to know you'd stay with him through more than just the easy, soft, safe moments. He needed to know you'd be here for him even in these broken moments of his. And you did nothing but erase his worries and bring comfort, something he hadn't felt in such a long, exhausting time.
As his tears and sobs subdued, and as you felt sleep take over his beautiful body, you leaned down, pressing a kiss to his temple and brushing away whatever tears were left over. You smiled down at his sleepy figure, and stayed like that until you were sure there would be no more nightmares.
You didnt mind not sleeping. There was a lot more you would do for him than just that. And lord knows, you spent all night above him, keeping him safe, repeating to yourself, vowing to yourself, all the measures you'd go to, just to make sure Aki never felt a drop of sadness ever again.
