#ajshdj

So I have decided to give the story of the first time I came out. Nobody will read this, probably, but I want to put it out into the universe nonetheless.

For about a month I had been questioning my sexuality. Everybody else was exploring theirs. I had been asked constantly if I was gay. I was constantly surrounded by people who are and was always speaking up about the rights that LBGTQ+ people had. I replied no. From what I knew, I wasn't. I think we both knew I was lying when I said it, though.

I researched. I looked up definitions. I spent free time scouring sites and trying to find what fit. Knowing that somebody could have different attractions romantically and sexually, I timidly looked up on Google, "is panromantic heterosexual real?" Fearing that what I was feeling was dumb and not real and-

But what came up confirmed that, yes, panromantic heterosexual was a very real way to define yourself.

I kept it to myself. Nobody needed to know.

The first time I came out to other people was backstage Sleepy Hollow, a play that my school was putting on. I was acting in it. We were trying to get in and out of character. Sexuality came up along the way. Everybody stated where they stood. In a moment of impulse, I blurted out that I was a panromantic heterosexual. Oh. Where did that come from why did I say that no I can take it bac-

I was met with smiles and respect. And I felt good. I felt great. I felt real.