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Honestly it goes away from just sitting in my sitting room at 4am to having a great time, laughs, goofs, shocks and tears with some pretty stellar people.

The community here, especially on Tumblr is genuinely full of so much love and camaraderie and I love that.

Initially last year, I tanked most of my socials and especially here because I was starting to get the hate train rammed on me again, which was fine, nothing I was not used to. However, when the doxing threats and my real information like government name and actual address started coming to my inbox and the email linked with Tumblr I had to bounce.

Since then, various things have happened. Using my ultra tech skills (not really, the person in question contacted me via telegram because I was not aware I shared that social here and tried to fuck me over on that. I used a grabify link and got their IP and turned the tables on them. Shock horror, it had nothing to do with anything wrestling related and was some I knew IRL, figures.).

My mam was diagnosed with cancer in the summer and it left me in a weird spot. We don't have a fantastic relationship as it stands and comes the autumn I had plans to move out, even had a place lined up. However, at the behest of my vastly older siblings her care and the care of my disabled dad was left to me. It's been rough, NGL, and I've essentially had to drop my final year of college for it. Our relationship continues to be strained despite the fact that I am the only child caring for her. Currently she's finished her radiation treatment but they've had to halt chemo as she is too weak for it, right now she's kinda in the balance so where not sure what's happening going forward.

As for wrestling, after Mania last year I was a bit burnt out on it. And after everything happened I didn't find an entry point back into it for me for a long while. It was only last week when I was talking with my nephew (whose 11 now, where does the time go!) Who had actually gotten back into wrestling again himself. That I thought I'd have a gander at a Smackdown. Made me miss the community here too.

A lots happened since the year I just disappeared, it's a hell of a lot to explain so maybe later.

But when it comes to dirtsheets and wrestling journalism, I think people need to calm the hell down for two seconds.

There's a strange phenomenon. Well actually not strange now that I think about it, as it exists in traditional media and other news. But it's the fact that people let their confirmation bias take over and then believe that things are fact.

I know this comes across because WWE this weekend and how it's hit not only dirtsheets but mainstream media. However, this scales across all of wrestling, not just WWE.

I'll explain. If you believe that WWE is shit run show that spits down the throat of their performers, you're more inclined to believe negative news immediately without questioning the validity. Same on the other side of the coin if you believe that AEW is amazing and can do no wrong you're more inclined to believe positive news and discount its detractors.

I'll be honest I've been very very guilty of this. For a while I went into news about AEW with an extremely negative mindset and immediately believed its detractors. I think there has to be a level of critical thinking and understanding of how wrestling journalism works before forming an opinion. It's hard when you're an adult watching wrestling, knowing even surface level things about what goes on behind the scenes, to separate what you see on TV from what you hear and read.

This by no means means that you should immediately distrust anything negative, and I am by no means defending these companies. They are companies run by millionaires/billionaires who run a business. A business' main goal is to generate profits, which lends itself to often generating profit at the exploitation and disregard for its employees.

Screw the Dirtsheets, screw the idiots who think his situation fuels imaginary faction wars. Stop leeching off what is probably a stressful and bad time for him it's disgusting.

I know it's been way too long, it's been a weird time, and I'll probably explain more about why I was away but not tonight.

Thank you so much to everyone who left me lovely messages, I saw them all and appreciate them so much a little light in a weird and I cannot put into words how much I appreciate you all.

I sat down to watch the Rumble tonight and it felt weird not to be buzzing about it with the community of amazing people here in my little corner of this website.