#ahla

CHAPTER 6: Surprise!

Kaeylen let out a smirk as she slipped out of her house.  If Mom and Dad thought she’d spend all day with her nose stuffed in a dusty old book, they had another thing coming!  That snooty know-it-all tutor was blind as a bat and older than dirt; slipping away from him was so easy!  And besides, it was a beautiful sunny day outside!  It was criminal she’d be locked inside all day reading stupid books!

The little girl twisted around as her house grew smaller and smaller.  Kaeylen stuck her tongue out at it.

The nearby town was bustling about, the afternoon hours prime time for the merchants to sell their many exotic wares.  Other children her age dashed between the crowds, yelling and shouting and laughing.  Like kids should be.  Kaeylen chased after them, grinning.  They were playing with a ball and kicking it to each other, and Kaeylen was eager to join in. 

The children giggled and shouted and ran about the dusty streets as children do, weaving in and out of the adults and monsters alike.  Some attempted to chase off the unruly children.  Too much racket!  Go play somewhere else! 

Kaeylen stuck her tongue out at them, too.

One of her very best friends, Jenny, kicked the ball high up into the air, where it became caught on a tree branch.

“Oh no!” she shouted.  “Our ball!”

“Way to go!” one of the boys groaned.  “You ruined our game!”

Kaeylen stepped forward, letting out a little smile.  “Don’t worry, I can get it down!”

Jenny turned to her, eyes dancing with excitement.  “Oh! Are you gonna do it?  Are you gonna show us your trick?”

“Yup!  Watch this!” Kaeylen said excitedly.

The children huddled around the little girl as she held out her hands in front of her.  She squinted her eyes, concentrating hard.  She focused on the ball.

Suddenly, a yellow light formed in her palms.  It grew into a small bright spark, then shot through the air, hitting the ball and knocking it from its perch. 

“Whoa!” the children gasped.  “How did you do that?”

“I’m special,” Kaeylen said proudly, placing her hands confidently on her hips. 

One of the boys ran to the ball, and when he picked it up, he frowned.

“You ruined it!” he said.  “You blew a hole right through it!”  He held up the straw-stuffed ball to show off a large hole blasted right through it.  Kaeylen’s jaws dropped open.

“Hey, I . . . I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Your trick is stupid,” the boy huffed angrily.  “Come on, guys.  Let’s go play somewhere else.”  The children sulked off, looking for a new game.

Jenny carefully stepped up to Kaeylen, who had her lips pulled tight and her head lowered.  “I still think it’s a neat trick,” she offered.

Kaeylen swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.  “Yeah, my trick is really awesome.  Those jerks don’t know what they’re talking about!  Come on, who needs them!  We can play with your dolls!”

Jenny brightened, and they raced off.  Jenny’s dolls weren’t much to look at, but they were created with love and whatever scraps of fabric Jenny’s mother could procure.  Jenny nor Kaeylen cared if they looked worn and old and tired, they loved them all the same.  The two played and chased each other through the streets before they ran into some older, meaner looking boys.

“Ugh, these guys,” Kaeylen groaned.  They were trouble-makers if she ever saw some.  Up to no good and wasting their days pulling cruel pranks and tormenting smaller kids.  She and Jenny tried to slip away unnoticed, but luck was not on their side today.

“Hey you!” one of the boys called out.  He sneered down at them, hands folded over his chest and his filthy teeth gleaming between thin cracked lips. 

“Oh, no . . .” Jenny moaned, clutching her doll closer to her chest.

“Wimpy little girls aren’t allowed here!”

“Yeah, run back to Mommy and Daddy and stay inside the house where sissy little girls belong!” another taunted.  He lurched forward and grabbed Jenny by the hem of her dress.  With a cry she reflexively pulled away, causing her skirt to tear.

“My dress!” she cried.  “Mom worked hard on this!”

The boys laughed.  “Aw, she thinks that filthy sack she’s wearing is called a ‘dress!’”  They shoved her to the ground, Jenny crumpling to the dirt streets.  Her knees and elbows were scuffed and bleeding, and she sniffed as tears formed in her eyes.

“Aw, look at the little crybaby!” they teased.  “Go on!  Cry for Mommy and Daddy!”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

Defiantly, Kaeyeln stood between her friend and the bullies.  There were five of them, all bigger and meaner than her.  But she didn’t care.  They hurt her friend!  They shoved her and pushed her and hurt her when she did nothing wrong!  These jerks had to pay for their meanness!

“You hurt my friend!  Now apologize!” Kaeylen demanded.

The boys howled with laughter.  “Oh yeah?  And what are you gonna do about it?  Are you gonna cry for us too?  You’re nothing but a wimpy little brat!”  The boy reached out and grabbed Kaeylen’s braided hair and tugged.

Kaeylen shouted in protest, and viciously smacked the hand away.  “DON’T TOUCH ME!  OR I’LL HURT YOU!”

The boys only laughed harder.  They circled her, taunting her. 

“She’s gonna hurt us!  The little sissy girl’s gonna hurt us!  Whatever shall we do!” they mocked.  One grabbed the doll Jenny had dropped.  “Girls are only good for playing with silly little dolls!  Let’s break them!”

“Please don’t!” Jenny cried.  “My mom made them for me!  Please-!” She reached out to the doll, only for the boy to tear it to pieces.  As they threw the shredded doll to the ground, Jenny burst into tears.

Kaeylen felt her heart burn in her chest.  Fire coursed through her veins as she was forced to watch this cruel injustice!  Her teeth ground together, her fists clenched and shaking.  They hurt her friend for no reason!  They ruined her dress, they ruined their toys, they were being complete jerks and she was through with them!  They had to pay!

With a furious cry, Kaeylen held out her hand, a yellow light forming in her palm.  The bolt shot forward, striking one of the boys right in the chest.  He was knocked clean off his feet, landing hard on the ground.

There was a sudden silence as all eyes were on her. 

Kaeylen, surrounded by yellow light, her very eyes glowing with the magic that coursed through her being, raised her hand and shot another bolt of yellow magic, hitting another bully right in the face.

The bullies’ eyes went wide, their jaws dropped open, and they turned and ran as fast as they could.

Kaeylen straightened herself, smiling triumphantly.  Who’s running home crying to their Mommies and Daddies now, huh?

Jenny suddenly let out an ear-splitting scream.

Kaeylen spun around, eyes glowing.  Standing right behind them was Death himself!  It was just like the stories!  A skeletal face glared down at them, his bony frame clothed in black and silver robes.  She screamed, Jenny screamed, and she fired a bolt of magic straight at his face!

The bolt struck true, hitting him dead center of his big fat bony forehead.  The blow was hard enough to send Death flat on his butt.

Kaeylen stared.  Jenny stared.  They didn’t dare to even breathe. 

“I think you killed him,” Jenny whispered.

The skeleton sat up, rubbing his forehead with an irritated groan.  Kaeylen and Jenny gasped, but they didn’t move out of fear.  The skeleton frowned at them, looking very cross.  He pointed a single bony finger at Kaeylen.

<<That’s hardly any way to greet a stranger, wouldn’t you agree?>>

Kaeylen and Jenny exchanged glances.

“What did he say?” Jenny whispered.

“How the heck am I supposed to know?!”

“I think he’s mad at you.”

“You think?!”

<<Angel grant me patience, language barriers are so tedious,>> Gaster sighed.  He stood, dusted himself off, and began to speak in sign language.  Hopefully they knew that.

The dumbfounded looks on the young girls’ faces told him otherwise.

Another sigh.

Now, how to convince two young terrified girls he didn’t mean them any harm, after one just beamed him in the head with a magic bullet.  His fingers touched the singed middle of his forehead.  It had been admittedly an impressive shot.  Very accurate. 

He should be thankful it did as little damage as it did.

“Alright, Dings, I’ve got my ingredients, let’s head back to the tavern!”

Rounding the corner was a tall fire monster, nearly as tall as the skeleton himself.  Flames danced off his head and off . . . well, every part of him.  Under one arm he carried a basket filled with fresh produce and bags of spices.  He did a double-take when he saw the two young girls.

“Oh, hello there, little humans!” he waved.

The two girls ran off, screaming.

Gaster rolled his eyes.  <<You have such a way with humans,>> he muttered, chasing off after them.

“All I did was say hello!” Grillby protested.  He followed the skeleton.  “Why are we chasing them, now?”

<<The yellow-haired one can do magic.  I must speak to her.>>

“Another one?!  By the Angel above!  What are you, a magician magnet?!”

The two monsters continued to chase the girls.  Briefly, Gaster realized how questionable this must look from an outsider’s perspective; two grown monsters running after human children.

<<And if you call me Dings one more time, I will throttle you.>>

“Sure, whatever you say.  Wings.”

Gaster punched him.

--

The days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, and soon almost a year had passed since Gaster became a father.  Life, as crazy as it was at times, became routine.  Gaster would take the young pups to work, letting them out every so often to stretch their legs.  After finishing up for the day, he’d walk over to Grillby’s to let them play with the other young monsters.  Papyrus and Sans were absolutely adored by the Snowdin residents.  Papyrus, the eccentric and vocal one, could never get his fill of chasing around the other kids, and Sans was more than content to sit on people’s laps to be petted.

Gaster would like to say his life had become picturesque.  But that would be a lie.

Because in between the idyllic playtimes, there was complication after complication at the laboratory.  Reconstruction of the destroyed experimentation room was taking far longer than Gaster would like.  He grew frustrated.  There was no reason this had to drag on as long as it did!  He had a hundred other things to worry about than a blasted room!  Like the CORE, being its ever-so-temperamental self, breaking down and flaring and being a right pain in Gaster’s rear. 

The pups weren’t short on trouble, either.  Gaster had already lost half a dozen pair of shoes to their tiny little destructive teeth (no matter how many damn toys Gaster seemed to buy for them).  Wires and the trim of his house were covered in teeth and claw marks.  They scratched and gnawed the furniture.  They tore and shredded his notes and journals. 

Gaster quickly learned to keep any papers sensitive or critical to his research sealed in a locked metal filing cabinet.

Oh, and they learned how to fire their lasers. 

That had been a very terrifying moment.  The day had started innocently enough.  The pups were playing in the living room after Gaster settled in for the night, as they always did.  The day had been particularly long and stressful for Gaster, and he was looking forward to a quiet, low-key night.  Sans seemed to be of the same mood; he didn’t participate much in playtime, no matter how insistent Papyrus whined and whimpered.  They had been squabbling and snapping and growling, as siblings do.  It was never anything serious, and it was part of their development, so Gaster never interfered.  Until little Sans had more than enough, and a familiar blue glow began to grow in his tiny jaws.  Gaster had just enough time to jump to his feet, eyes widening in horrid realization, and then Sans quite literally blasted his twin brother across the room.

Papyrus tumbled across the living room, eye sockets wide in shock, his ribs blackened from the blast.  It took him a solid few seconds for the pain to register, and when it did, Papyrus let out a horrible wail.  Gaster was at his side in an instant, scooping up the little pup in his arms and whispering soft words of assurance.  Sans had run under the couch, Papyrus’s wails scaring him.

With terrified urgency, Gaster checked him over.  Papyrus’s rib cage was blackened with soot, and Gaster raised a hand to cast his healing magic over the burn.  Papyrus whimpered and cried, burying himself in Gaster’s arms.  All Gaster could do was whisper soft words of assurance as he let his magic mend what it could. 

By the grace of the Angel above, the injuries were very minor.  Most of the blackness was just soot and dust, which was wiped away easily enough with a damp cloth.  Papyrus had been crying more out of surprise than genuine pain, it seemed.

Gaster was able to heal the injury completely.  He wasn’t proficient in healing magic by any means, but it was more than enough to mend Papyrus’s small scrape.  In only a small amount of time, the incident was forgotten and the pup was happily frolicking about.  At least, just for him.

Sans still cowered under the couch, whimpering and whining and shying away from Papyrus.  No matter how much his brother tried to encourage him out of his hiding spot, he wouldn’t move.  In fact, he’d scuttle further underneath the couch, and even darted to a new hiding spot when Papyrus managed to worm his way too close. 

The scene was rather fascinating for Gaster to observe.  Was Sans feeling guilt and shame?  Those were amazingly complex emotions for someone so young.  It only further cemented Gaster’s theories of their heightened intelligence.

It took Sans a day or two to recover from his reclusiveness, in no small thanks to Papyrus’s persistence.  Little by little Papyrus warmed Sans up, getting closer and closer as Sans slowly relaxed as he realized all had been forgiven.  And they were right back to their mischievous selves. 

And then Sans managed to teach his brother how to perform the blast attack.

Luckily, Gaster quickly trained them to blast outdoors only, but not without a few sizeable holes now present in his walls.  Grillby found this amusing.

At least someone’s getting a laugh out of this, Gaster sighed as he spent the evening patching up the walls, with Grillby lending a helping hand.  Though he suspected he was only there to rib the stressed scientist.

“You know, if you made your house out of Swiss cheese, this wouldn’t be a problem!” Grillby was saying.

<<This is why you’re a cook and not an architecture,>> Gaster sighed.  <<Hand me the spackle.>>

“Walls needed to be repainted anyway.”

<< I would prefer it if wasn't because some skeleton dragon pups were blasting holes in my house.>> Grillby laughed.  "Well, what did you expect?  Isn't this their signature move or something?" <<It's the only reason they were created, yes.>> Grillby paused.  "The only reason your skull attack was created," he clarified pointedly.  Gaster rolled his eyes. <<Yes.  Obviously.  Created to produce a singular devastatingly powerful attack to blast open the barrier.  But of course it didn't work.>> Gaster seethed bitterly. Grillby held out his hands in a shrug.  "Did you really expect a single monster attack to break the barrier?  Even one as powerful as that?  All the monsters in the whole Underground together couldn't break it." <<Fine, I get it, I'm an idiot and a screw-up.>> Gaster snarled as he viciously slathered the plaster over the holes.  <<Can't make anything work, always messing up and breaking everything...>> he scraped at the wall a bit harder than he meant to.  <<None of my experiments ever go right, and I'm just so stupid->> "Gaster, enough," Grillby said in a commanding tone, gripping the skeleton's wrist.  He pulled the skeleton back, forcing him to look at him.  Those fiery eyes hidden behind Grillby's round spectacles were narrow and worried.  "You're not a screw-up.  And you sure as hell aren't stupid.  You're the most brilliant monster in the Underground, so don't start putting yourself down.  Come on.  So some things didn't go your way.  Isn't that what every great scientist goes through?" <<Scientists have their hypothesis disproved, or their experiments don't pan out.  Scientists don't have entire labs blow up on them.>> "I'm sure at least one scientist has."  Grillby moved his hand to Gaster's shoulder.  "Do you really believe anything you just said about yourself?" Gaster sighed.  <<Maybe?  Sometimes.  I don't know.  It just seems like nothing I do turns out how I want.  And I wonder . . .>>  He cast his gaze at the play pen where his two sons were playing in.  << I wonder if I'm doing right by them.  Because knowing my track record I'm just screwing them up, too.>> "That's not true.  Gaster, you're doing a wonderful job," Grillby assured.  <<But is it enough?>> "You can trust me to be frank with you, can't you?  You know I wouldn't bullshit you just to make you feel better." Gaster smirked at that.  "So trust me when I say you're doing a great job.  Just keep treating them with love and affection, and things will be ok.  If you're really worried, maybe they can start attending a daycare.  They're old enough for that, don't you think?" <<They're still only a few months old.>> "And that's old enough.  The caretakers are trained specifically to handle young monsters. <<Well, then I suppose it's worth considering.>> "Great.  They're gonna be just fine, don't worry.  You're gonna be alright.  I promise." Gaster allowed himself to smile.  <<Thank you, Grillby.>> Grillby suddenly punched his arm, sending the skeleton reeling for a second. "Alright, enough touchy-feely shit, we got a Swiss cheese house to fix." --- "So what are you going to do for their birthdays?" Gaster snapped around, completely caught off guard.  <<What am I going to do for the what now?>> Pala laughed.  "It's almost been a full year since Sans and Papyrus were born!  Can you believe it!" Gaster blinked.  <<Has it really been that long already?>> "I know!  Seems like only yesterday we were chasing them around the labs!  So!  You going to throw them a birthday party?" Gaster thought for a moment, then let out a small laugh.  << I suppose I have to, don't I?  Huh.  A year.  I can hardly believe it.>>  He tapped his chin, thinking some more. <<What does one do on birthdays anymore?  I can scarcely remember the last time I celebrated my own!>> "What?!" Pala cried in outrage.  "You don't even celebrate your own birthday?!" <<They tend to blur together after the first couple hundred,>> he grinned.  <<But I suppose the usual, yes?  Cake and presents and balloons and all that.>> "Yeah!  We're gonna make it a proper party!" Pala cheered.  "We're gonna invite all of their little friends over!  A proper neighborhood bash!" At this, Gaster let out a strained grimace.  He did not do very well in crowds with people he barely knew.  <<How about we keep it on the smaller side? It can just be us, and Grillby too.  It doesn't need to be anything spectacular, they won't even remember this in a month!>>  "Oh, please, Doctor?  It'll be fun, I promise you!  And it's just as much for the parents as it is for the kids!  Pizza and cake and presents, who wouldn't love that!" <<You are admirably persuasive.>> "Well, duh!  That's how I got hired!" -- Gaster consulted his calendar.  The day he created Sans and Papyrus was a day he would never forget.  And the day of their birth was six weeks away.  It still completely baffled the scientist it had been that long already. But time tends to fly by very quickly for a monster over half a millennium old. It seemed Pala and Grillby were far more excited about this party than Gaster was.  Gaster would have liked to keep it between his associates and close friends, but Pala insisted on inviting the local residents.  The pups were quite popular in town, none of the parents wanted to miss their very first birthday party! Grillby was overjoyed at the prospect of making them their birthday cakes.  He was not a pastry specialist in any regard (and rumor has it he had to ask for the assistance of a rather talented spider monster well-known for her baked confections) but Grillby was proud of his craft and assured Gaster he was up to the task. <<It doesn't have to be anything overtly elaborate,>> Gaster insisted.  <<Just enough to feed . . . however many people Pala's going to invite.  Better be no more than thirty . . .>> "A triple-tiered culinary masterpiece, then, you got it," he winked.  Gaster groaned. As Gaster delivered his weekly reports to Asgore, it somehow managed to come up in conversation.  Asgore was elated. "Oh, how they have grown since!" Asgore beamed.  And so they have.  They had grown like weeds, and were about two feet at the shoulder, though Sans still remained somewhat squat, and Papyrus more on the limber side.  "I can scarcely believe it myself!  I will have to give them something very special!" <<I greatly appreciate it, Your Majesty,>> he grinned.  <<Er, would you . . . be interested in attending?  You don't have to, I understand how busy you must be, and->> "My dear Royal Scientist, I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Asgore said, eyes sparkling.  "How could I miss my most devoted subject's celebration of his sons' very first birthday?" Gaster felt himself flush furiously.  <<You are far too kind.>> Gaster's home wasn't nearly big enough for all the people who wanted to attend (<<All these people?!  Pala, are you certain?>> he had asked) so Asgore was more than happy to offer to host the party at his castle.  His assistants were more than happy to help decorate the place with balloons and streamers and tables covered in colorful table cloths and all sorts of party favors and hats. Gaster was beginning to feel overwhelmed. <<Are you sure this is not . . . excessive?>> he asked quietly one day.  <<This is hardly some grand celebration to warrant so much, and in the castle no less!>> Asgore grinned down as he pinned up the banner, which Gaster was holding in place.  "Oh, is this not a grand celebration?" <<It's a birthday party.>> "A grand celebration, indeed, then!" Gaster sighed.  It felt too much, and the scientist began to grow apprehensive.  He did not do well in parties, and he would be the focus of it all.  All that noise, all that racket, all the pointless small talk he had to suffer through . . . Gaster was growing less excited and more stressed.  He didn't want some grand celebration.  He felt like he didn't, well, deserve it.  Just something small and intimate would do just fine, not something so . . . excessive. "Are you alright?" Asgore asked carefully.  Gaster shrugged. <<Nervous, I suppose,>> he said.  He forced himself to crack a grin as he remembered Pala's words.  This was for his boys, and for others, not for him.  <<Don't want to disappoint anyone.>> "You never have!" Ha!  We all know what a fat lie that is! Gaster shook his head, silencing the intrusive thought. The party was finally here, and the guests would begin to arrive in a few short moments.  The golden hall was decorated in bright saturated colors and tables on one side were prepped with finger food and punch.  Everything was set and ready, yet Gaster couldn't help but pace nervously, hands twitching and fidgeting.  Sans and Papyrus were at his heels, following him and barking.  Seems they sensed Gaster's unease and were growing worried in turn. "Oh, relax already, Dings!" Grillby laughed, landing a hand on the skeleton's shoulder.  "This will be fun!  There will be cake, and Nice Cream, and pizza, and lots of presents!  It's going to be great!" Gaster's mouth twitched into a nervous smile.  <<Yes, yes, you're right of course.  Just social anxiety creeping in and telling me I'll make a fool of myself.  Heh.>> "Then I will have to make an even bigger fool of myself.  I refuse to be outdone."  Gaster let out an ugly laugh. Pala was the first to show up, as expected.  She carried a large present in her teeth by the bow, and as she happily jogged down the hall, the puppies sprinted up to her, barking gleefully.  Pala giggled, transferring the gift to her telekinetic grip as the puppies tackled her.  "Hello, sweeties!  How are you!  Ready for your very first birthday party?" she asked.  The puppies barked in response. <<Good to see you, Pala.  Let me take the present, I'll put it out of teeth's reach,>> Gaster teased. Shortly after that, Ivan, Fel, and Hebi joined the party.  Fel carried both his and Hebi's gift, and Ivan came with a tray of food.  The scientists greeted each other, Ivan absolutely enthralled to be in the castle, and Fel pulled up to Gaster, taking a glass of punch. "So how many people are coming?  From the sounds of it, I think Pala invited the entire Underground," the old cat monster chuckled. <<If more than thirty people show up, I will grab the presents and teleport home,>> Gaster said.  He wasn't sure how serious he was being himself, but it got a laugh from Fel. One by one, the families trickled in.  Next to arrive was Dogaressa with her husband Dogamy, and both were very delighted to see the young pups.  Gaster whisked their presents away, but the distinct rattle within the mystery boxes revealed they had given the brothers bones for chewing.  A capital choice. Next were the Snow Bunnies and their entire entourage.  Gaster knew of the innkeeper, her sister, the shopkeeper, and the brother, the Nice Cream man, but dear god, he had no idea they had so many relatives.  There had to be at least a dozen of them!  Gaster recognized a face here or there but for the life of him he could not put names to all these bunnies.  Did Snowdin always have such a massive bunny monster population?! Thankfully, the innkeeper was more than happy to introduce all fifteen of them.  Gaster's head reeled.  One family arrived and they were already halfway to thirty.  This party was going to be massive, and he began to grow nervous. "Guess what they say about rabbits is true," Fel snickered as they finally finished introductions.  Pala smacked him with her tail. Others arrived, like Snowdrake and his wife, Snowhen.  The regulars at Grillby's arrived as well, including the brown bear, a fish monster, a horse monster, a large intimidating plant monster, and . . . another bunny.  Good lord, how many bunnies were there?!  All came up one by one to express their well-wishes and congratulations to Gaster, shaking his hand and laughing and sharing stories of the last year with the little pups.  The younger ones played and romped around with Sans and Papyrus, who were all too happy to run about.  Gaster was stuck in the corner, forced to endure small talk.  Painful, painful small talk. "So I was just saying, what could we possibly get two little adorable puppies, who are the pride and joy of none other but the Royal Scientist himself!" one of the lady bunnies was prattling off.  They exchanged names not five seconds ago and already Gaster completely forgot hers.  "And then, like, my bestie Annie and I were just walking through the mall, and oh my Angel, you would not believe the cutest things they had on sale for little monsters!  The striped clothes were to die for!  I absolutely fell in love with this pastel-batch, but Annie was saying that little boys look better in more saturated colors and I'm like, hello, do you see how adorable these colors go together?  And she was all, but they're so expensive!  And I was like, whatevs, I'm totally going to buy them!" He grinned forcefully as he endured the "story."  <<I am very flattered by such thoughtfulness, >> Gaster said, but he barely squeaked in half his sentence before she kept going on.  Gaster sighed, resigned to his fate, and stared vacantly at the party happening around him. The party had only started and he wanted nothing more than for it all to just be done with. Asgore came to the rescue.  He placed a hand on Gaster's shoulder, smiling down at him, and gave him a secretive wink.  "May I borrow Dr. Gaster for a moment?" "Oh, of course, Your Majesty!" the bunny said.  Asgore thanked her, and ushered Gaster off to a quieter section of the hall. <<You are a lifesaver,>> Gaster breathed. "Of course, I could see the life leave your eyes with every passing moment.  I knew I had to act, and quickly!" Asgore said with a deep rumbling laugh.  "How are you fairing?" Gaster swallowed.  He wanted to express his wishes that he wanted nothing more than to kick out all these strangers, all these people he barely knew so they could have a quieter, more relaxing party.  This wasn't fun, this was social politics.  This was where all the grown-ups got together to brag and boast about themselves and their little ones, share unimportant details of their lives, flaunt and flourish about like turkeys in rut.  Gaster wanted out of here. But he choked back his pride.  <<I am alright.  You know me. Shutting myself in a lab for most of my life has done wonders for my social skills.  I am not the best at small talk.>>

Asgore nodded.  "Don't worry, the party will be over before you know it.  I think it is time for cake, don't you agree?" <<Yes, that would be wonderful.>> As Grillby proudly brought out the cake, a respectable enough sheet cake decorated with frosting balloons and bones, Papyrus and Sans took their seats at the head of the tables and everyone sang to them.  It was actually a very nice moment, and Gaster helped blow out the big #1 candles.  Gaster was in charge of doing the honors of cutting the cake.  He took the massive knife carefully in his hands and did a quick mental count.  There were about fifty people here, children included.  FIFTY?!  Pala was going to get a talking to after all this.  He looked back at the cake.  It was a massive cake, more than enough to feed everyone here with a decent sized piece.  He figured cutting sixty slices would be more than enough, and mentally planned out the size of the cuts in his head. "Yo!  You gonna stare at it all day or you gonna cut it?" Pala jeered playfully. Gaster smiled.  <<Now, now, you can't just bull rush into cutting your sons' very first birthday cake.  These things have to be done delicately.>> There was a murmur of agreement, a "cheers" and Gaster plunged the knife into the cake, sealing its fate.  Asgore and Grillby helped pass out slices, with the very first pieces going to Sans and Papyrus.  The puppies eagerly dived into the sugary-coated goodness with reckless abandon, and so did everyone else, though they used their forks instead of their faces. Presents came next, which was a daunting task in itself.  Papyrus and Sans were more than capable of tearing and ripping at the presents, but again Gaster and Grillby supervised so they didn't eat any of it.  There were a mountain of presents, everything from toys to clothes to story books and bedding and even some coupons to the local shops and wares.  Soon the presents were all unwrapped and the party was finally winding down.  Thank the Angel above. As Gaster helped clean up the mounds of wrapping paper and boxes, he overheard the passing conversation of a bunny and a cat monster. "Well not so bad for a first birthday!" the cat was saying.  "But I suppose if you’re friends with royalty you can get away with requesting a castle for your little party." "Cake was dry.  And vanilla?  Ugh, at least act like you care about your guests!  Put some strawberry filling in there!" the bunny chided.  "Well, what can you expect when your cake chef cooks greasy burgers all day?" "You know, I've known Grillby for a while and I don't think I've ever seen him talk or smile so much in a single day!  He's so cute when he smiles!  He's single, right?" The bunny huffed.  "You know why that is.  He's only gets so chatty when he's around him.  So dream on, girl." Gaster blinked.  Who?  Asgore? "Well, at least the little ones look happy.  But the poor dears!  They're nothing but bones!"  The two broke out into a hysterical giggle fit.  Ok, Gaster had to admit, that was pretty good.  He knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but they were being rude talking poorly of Grillby.  So fair's fair.  "But you can't help but feel sorry for them.  Growing up alone with that old monster!  He may be the Royal Scientist, but genius or not, there's no replacing the invaluable expertise of a mother's instinct!" <<Oh?  Is that so?>> The two lady monsters nearly jumped out of their fur.  Gaster approached, smiling kindly down at them with his hands folded behind his back.  He honestly thought their comment was amusing.  But enough was enough, he wouldn't let them stand there and insult him, Grillby, or his boys. The cat monster instantly paled, her ears and tail lowering as she squeaked out a quick and rushed apology.  The bunny, however, remained firm, though abashed.  "Well," the bunny said, placing a hand on her hip.  "It's as I said.  You may not understand, but a mother has a natural maternal instinct and bonds with her child in a way that no one else can!  It's just fact!"  Gaster's eyebrow slowly rose.  <<Is that so?  Where on earth did you read this fascinating article to back up such an astounding claim?>> "it's not in an article!  It's common knowledge!  No offense to you, doctor, but there's nothing like a mother's touch!  A mother always knows what's best for her child, and always knows what's right for them!  It's just as natural as our very own magic, and even the best fathers cannot hope to replicate that, much less foster fathers." <<I am not a foster father,>> Gaster said, perhaps a bit more fiercely than he intended.  <<I am their father, through and through.>> The cat shrugged.  "You said it yourself.  You found them, did you not?" Gaster stuttered.  <<No--I mean, yes, I just-->> "So you adopted them.  Their poor mother, they must miss her dearly.  Whatever happened to her?"  There was a pronounced pause.  The cat actually expected him to answer that.  He fumbled. <<I can't say,>> he said simply.  <<It is a mystery that may never be solved.>> The cat smiled in apparent triumph.  "Now, my good doctor, I am not saying you can't be a good father.  But, well, there's just no replacement for the natural and instinctual bond of a birth mother.  It's just that simple." Gaster felt his fists clench in anger.  He looked at something over her shoulder and suddenly grinned, his fists relaxing.  <<I understand completely.  Now, tell me, miss, are your superior motherly instincts telling you anything right now?>> The cat rose an eyebrow in confusion.  "No, why?" <<Because your son is about to swallow a fork.>> The cat spun around, her eyes growing wide in horror.  "TIMOTHY!" she shouted.  Lucky for her, Grillby had been close by, and quickly snatched the fork away before little Timmy could choke on it.  the cat turned back to Gaster, beet red with embarrassment.  Gaster only continued to grin. <<I may not be the pinnacle of parenthood, nor do I pretend to know everything there is to know about raising children.  But mark my words, I do my very best and I do everything I can to provide them a happy, comfortable life,>> Gaster began in a low and dangerous tone.  <<I don't need a mother's instinct to tell me how to do that.  I don't need a mother to raise happy, successful, fulfilled children.  So do not dare insult me or my family again.  Have a good day.>> He walked briskly past the two ladies, and began to pack up.  It was time to go home. -- "She said what?!" Gaster chuckled as he poured another finger of Scotch for Grillby.  <<Oh, some trite about mothers being superior caregivers by the virtue of being women.  That sort of nonsense.>> "Ugh," Grillby snarled, taking the glass and pulling a sip from it.  "Never liked her.  So high and mighty and 'look at me I'm the pinnacle of motherhood because I won't let my children so much as look at anything remotely unhealthy.'  I hope she chokes on a celery stick." Gaster laughed.  They were back home, in Gaster's home to be specific.  The living room was littered with all the boys' new presents, and the kitchen stuffed with leftover cake and pizza and Nice Cream.  The adult monsters lingered in the kitchen, gossiping.  How scandalous. <<Do not worry, I invoked the furious wrath of Dr. Gaster in her.  I don't think she will say anything poorly about me.  To my face, at least.>> "Oooh, showing her Scary Gaster!  I like it!  You do the whole empty eye sockets and bone rattling thing?" <<That would have been pushing it.>> "Wish I could have seen it.  Put her in her place, at least." The pups began to bark most insistently in the other room.  Gaster and Grillby peeked out, where they saw Sans gnawing furiously at a toy still locked away in its plastic packaging.  He wanted that toy right now and he was going to get it! Grillby laughed.  "Oh, look at him go!  Come on, Sans, get that toy!"  Sans chewed harder.  Gaster was laughing as well.  If only they had thumbs!  <<Should we assist the poor wretch?>> "Oh, come on, Dings, this is hilarious.  Let him struggle with it for at least another minute.  Wait!  Even better!  Get the camera!" <<The cat was right!  I am a horrible father!>>  They both burst out laughing as Gaster brought up his phone and began to record Sans struggle with the package.  Grillby was right, this was hilarious. Sans then sat back, staring at the toy with disgruntlement.  He huffed, he swatted at it, he barked a few times, and then paced in circles around it.  Gaster could see the little one's mind churn.  What was he thinking? Sans bent back down over the package, placing his forepaws on the toy.  He sat down, pulling the toy into his lap, and dug his claws into the perforations.  And began to pull it apart. "Huh!  Look at him go." <<Wait, something's wrong . . .>> With the tearing of plastic came a very unusual and unsettling sound.  It was dry and crackling, like bones popping and breaking.  He stared at Sans.  No, something was definitely wrong. His horns were growing shorter.  His tail all but disappeared, his claws retracted into pointed fingers, and . . . he had thumbs!  Gaster's mouth dropped wide open.  Sans . . . Sans was changing! His barks sounded different.  They didn't sound like barks, but babbling.  Baby babbling!  Sans tore open the package, holding the toy out triumphantly in little skeleton hands.  He was no longer a skeleton dog, but a proper and actual skeleton baby! Sans cooed up at the stunned and stupefied adult monsters.  Grillby's glass shattered on the floor as it slipped from his grip. <<Huh.  A most interesting development.>> Gaster promptly fainted.