#aghlouis

[text]: You’re not allowed to go off and get yourself hurt or killed, okay, smarty pants? Not that I’d miss you that much or anything, but I need someone to read all my textbooks to me as bedtime stories if I’m ever going to pass my NEWTs, and you’re the man for the job, obviously. 

SEND ME A NUMBER:

1. For a drunk text

[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: do yoiu think i cild still fly fthrouhg your iwndow when im sdrunk ir is it too hard to aim? OR DIDU OYU CLOSE IT SO I’D HIT THE WIDNOW ADN GO SPALT LIKE A BIFRD?

2. For an angry text

[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: WAS THAT A GIANT BRUISE I SAW ON YOU EARLIER WHEN YOU WERE STRETCHING? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO GET YOURSELF HURT AND WHY AM I NOT DOING IT WITH YOU, YOU JERK?

3. For a text meant for someone else

[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: I guess you’re actually pretty cute when you try :-p[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: SHIT NO NOT YOU, GROSS.

4. For a text asking for a favor

[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: So how much do you love me? Hopefully the answer is a lot, because I kind of forgot we had an Astronomy assignment due today, and I really need someone to copy a star chart from so that I don’t get a horrible grade and get banned from playing Quidditch.

5. For a goodbye message

[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: I’m still mad at you that you’re going off on this stupid search for the Brotherhood, but I guess if something bad happens to you, I want you to know that... um, I’ll actually miss you, smarty pants. Be careful, okay? Try to make it back in one piece, if this is goodbye for good I’m going to raise you back from the dead so I can kill you again myself. 

6. For a date invite

[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: So say I wanted to go to the Three Broomsticks but needed someone I actually kinda tolerate to go with me... Any chance I could count on you to show up and split a pitcher of butterbeer with me?

7. For a fearful text

[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: I’m scared we’re not doing enough to protect ourselves. I mean, we’re just sitting here, doing nothing, while the Brotherhood’s still out there, and Macnair’s here in the school letting Urquhart try and tell us all what to do... I don’t want to just be a sitting duck anymore. I want to start trying to fight back again, even if it means getting expelled.[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: Quidditch teams will still sign me even if I don’t finish Hogwarts, right? Like, school’s not that important. 

8. For a corny pick up line

[TEXT TO SMARTY-PANTS]: Are you multiple slimy sea creatures with tentacles? Because you octupi my thoughts. 

9. For a long barrage of texts

ღ for a friend-crush text

[✉ TO LOUIS]: I’m feeling nice today, so here’s a reminder that you’re my favorite smarty pants :-p

♆ for a sext

[✉ TO LOUIS]: Think fast, what’s more interesting: a book or me naked?[✉ TO LOUIS]: You don’t actually have to answer that, I know it’s the book :-p

☯ for an adoring text

[✉ TO LOUIS]: I actually really care about you, you stupid git. So you’re not allowed to let something bad happen to you because then no one would read me bedtime stories or call me a dumbass or help me learn new stuff when I don’t want to, or make me smile when everything is crappy. You’re stuck with me because I like you, okay Lou? I know I don’t say it much but it’s true. 

☽ for a sleepy text

[✉ TO LOUIS]: Your pillows are comfier than mine. Do Ravenclaws read books and figure out how to harvest softer feathers for their pillows or something? 

✂ for a catty text

[✉ TO LOUIS]: Ugh, what is with Ari being all over Hugo lately? I swear she’s just doing it to piss me off. Why am I even trying to be civil to her again? She’s just as annoying as all the other Slytherins still >.<

$ for a lying text

[✉ TO LOUIS]: I’ve been getting plenty of sleep, Lou, stop worrying. No nightmares, nothing. Everything’s totally normal, I’ve just been going on longer runs in the mornings, that’s whY I seem so tired, I swear.

⊙ for a reaction to your muse’s nudes text

[✉ TO LOUIS]: Eh, I’m still not sure your abs are at the level where they could beat Puckerman’s.

The wrong what?

I’m supposed to be paying attention in history right now but I think now I get why Roxy didn’t introduce me to her cousins after all. Hugo and Lily are pretty cool, but OH MY MERLIN LOUIS IS SUCH A NERD. I think every time I’ve seen him so far he’s had his head in a book, and I only ever heard him speak when he raised his hand in class and gave the most complicated answers ever. Today was the first time he actually talked directly to me, and it’s just because we got paired up for some boring history assignment.

Which I’m making him do. Because nerds care about getting good grades, right? And if I have to learn about boring goblins or whatever it is we’re talking about, we’re going to get a troll grade.

How can someone who shares so much blood with Roxy and Hugo be SO NOT FUN? Do you think I could find a way to make him more fun? Like, is he secretly a real Weasley on the inside, or does he just hate everything in this life that’s worth actually doing because he’d rather read about it in a book?

Crap, he’s glaring at me. Does he know I’m talking about him instead of taking notes on the goblins? I guess I should pay attention now. I’ll test the ‘can Louis Weasley be fun or not’ thing and get back to you, notebook.