#agent arts

YELLOW: "...Home. I do like the sound of that. What is it? What do you think it means to live in a home? I don't...I don't think I, uh, remember. I live in my house, with the green one, and the red one, and maybe the bigger and the smaller ones, and sometimes my dad. And wherever we're all together, that's where we are. Maybe that's a home? Oh, why can't I remember?!"

DUCK: "I know what home is! Stop disrespecting me! I live in my house. There's three of us. I know where everything is. The tallest one is my best friend, and the yellow one is the pet. We don't need to change anything or be anywhere else, that's dangerous. We should stay here. ...What do you mean I never said what home is!"

Meeting Waylon Smithers Junior for the first time...

I had gone years without having an assistant by this point. After Waylon Senior's death, I felt it would be a fruitless endeavor to replace him. I felt no one else could truly care about me, and no one else could match me the way Waylon Senior did.

Oh how wrong I was, but strangely, only halfway on the latter point.

Smithers Senior, he was strong-minded, one of the only people willing to stand up to me, and the only one to ever be right about it. He was the only one I thought of as both an equal and a friend, despite his position technically being under me.

Smithers Junior did not seem like this at all. It was clear immediately upon meeting him, this man was a pushover, and was odd. His close-cut hair was dyed blue, he had "Manboo Stick notes" mixed in with some of his official papers, though I only caught a glimpse of them. He was a quiet man, Smithers Senior was too, but not in the same way. Suffice to say, he was only like my prior assistant in looks, and in name.

I quickly learned, however, that this was not true. Waylon Junior had just as much work ethic and ambition as his predecessor, if not more. This was clear even on the first meeting. And strangely, this twenty-something oddball charmed me. He may not have been what I expected, but I knew I had to have him regardless. It's a decision I haven't regretted for the twenty-odd years he's spent as my assistant, and perhaps, as my friend.

Though once again, I have lied. I do have some regrets. In recent years, I have become captivated by a queer longing for this man, this endlessly loyal man. Far more true than any woman (or even any man) I've had my brief flings with. Perhaps it is because Waylon has proved his loyalty and care for me again and again, while the rest of the world has proven only to be fickle. No matter the reason, however, I cannot pursue him like I do the others. Again, Waylon is different.

Even if my longings for Waylon are stronger, that only means I must suppress them harder. For I am not a kind man, and would never be good for him. Frankly, I don't understand why he even stays as my assistant. Waylon deserves better in life, deserves a better man, or woman as the case may be. For his sake, he should have never taken the job.