#age-old arguments

If you were the size of a bacteria, and you were standing on an orange, the orange would seem flat too. The Earth is THAT fucking big it manages to screw with our senses. Also, gravity.

I'm not saying it's aerodynamics... but it's aerodynamics.

Try going back in time, year 0, and convince 10 (TEN) people you're a prophet sent by god, and write a book. Go Back To The Future, and collect your 2000 years worth of "welfare money".

If you think fucking Canada is going to turn into the Sahara desert in a matter of months, then I'm wasting my time.

1. Candles are made of wax, which is all-natural and way better for the environment than petroleum based plastic.

Okay, so first off, just because something seems like it would be all-natural doesn't mean it actually is. Just like with food, many candles have artificial additives in them that serve to enhance their functionality as light sources, give them a "pretty" scent, or just straight-up make them more visually appealing. Also, most plastics are recyclable now. When's the last time you recycled old candle wax (that's not rhetorical. Seriously, I'd like to know.)

2. Candles can make your room smell better.

I assume you're talking strictly about scented candles, and the answer to that is "sometimes". Sometimes, they make your room smell better; sometimes, they mix in with the natural odors of your room and created an ungodly concoction that (believe me) you want nothing to do with; and sometimes, they just make you want to gag all by themselves. I've yet to see a scented battery-powered lantern, and I hope beyond hope that I never do.

3. What happens when you run out of batteries?

The same thing that happens when you run out of candle, I'll buy more.

4. Candles give off a soft light that's better for your eyes.

If it's dark, I want to be able to see more than two feet in front of me. I'll worry about the long-term implications when the lights come back on.

5. Candles will never cause an electrical fire.