#afutr

She didn't have a chance to write a response when another text came in.

Don't you dare stand me up today. We have a lot to catch up!

And I have a surprise for you ;)

That managed to bring a smile out of her because there was no need to catch up as he claimed. As hectic as their normal life was, Baekhyun forced her to meet at least once a week. He would pester her for days if they didn't.

She texted back, assuring him that she would be there as soon as she was done with her appointment. The thought brought her back to the real world, where everyone was patiently, or not so patiently, waiting for their turn to see a doctor.

Making the mistake of looking around the waiting area, the uneasiness took over her again and reminded her of all of the excuses she had to skip a doctor’s appointment. First of all, the unnerving crowd alone was scary enough to stay away from a hospital but this time, as much as she tried, there was no other choice.

The other reason was more complicated and delicate than just being uncomfortable in crowds because going to a hospital meant speaking with strangers and she avoided approaching people she didn’t know. She even struggled to talk to her family doctor that pretty much watched her grow. Maybe he wasn't even the right person to take her case but he knew her and she knew him. If someone knew about her particular discomfort and understood how to handle it, it was him.

However, her fear and condition couldn't outweigh the seriousness of her current state and the main reason why she was in the hospital in the first place. She'd been having an ongoing cough for several months and after using almost every remedy available, her parents finally managed to convince her to get a specialized check-up. The doctor ordered blood samples and a few days later, there she was, seated in the waiting room of the general hospital.

In an ideal scenario, she would’ve been doing this by herself as the responsible and capable adult she was but her anxiousness didn’t allow it. Her mother was there and even if she didn't need to guide their way throughout the sterile and monotone hallways of the hospital for something as simple as a doctor’s appointment, it was incredibly comforting to have her around.

“Kang Gyuri.” A nurse called out loud and her mother stood up like a sprint.

“That’s us.” She mumbled with sudden haste that couldn’t be anything else but desire to leave the place as soon as possible.

Gyuri followed her mother silently and the nurse proceeded to make the general checkup. She didn’t mind that part of the appointment. No speaking was required for that and she followed the nurse’s instructions carefully until she was seated at the doctor’s desk in a heavy silence and with her mother just as silent by her side.

The old man came in not long after and he greeted them with the same familiarity as he always did but Gyuri noticed the hesitation. She caught the few seconds of vacillation and effort it took him to raise his eyes and look at her. Quite discreetly, he managed to avert looking straight into her. 

“So Gyuri, now tell me how have you been feeling since your visit last week?” He asked, grabbing the expensive black and gold stricken pen her parents gave him as a present not that long ago and ready to write down whatever she was about to say. “Did the antibiotics and painkillers work?”

“I don’t know.” 

“How come?”

And that was what she hated the most out of the doctor’s appointment, the explaining. Gyuri found it almost painful to put her discomfort into words, to say them out loud and on top of that, to make absolute sense of the mess within her. She wasn’t even entirely sure if anyone was capable of covering all the complexities of what was happening inside her body. 

She started with the fact that she had been feeling almost the same except for the sharp chest pains weren't as bad as before and noticed as she said that, that Dr. Kim held the pen softly between the fingers of both of his hands and wondered why he wasn't scribbling down. That was odd. That wasn’t part of the process of a medical appointment.

Gyuri continued nonetheless by explaining the difficulty she had to breathe every once in a while and when she mentioned that a new symptom had shown up, it was when she couldn’t ignore the doctor’s expression. He looked conflicted and somehow, distressed.

“What’s the new symptom?” He asked although he looked like he didn’t want to know.

“It feels like my senses are sharper, somehow.” She wondered out loud and not entirely sure if she was making any sense, “now I have a sweet tooth for food.”

With a nod, the doctor finally wrote something down but it was short. For a second, Gyuri thought she saw the word unsuccessful written down in her chart but the doctor brought another sheet out, this one with what she guessed was her blood results.

“I don't know how to say this,” he started, placing the pen reluctantly over his desk as if he was letting go some sort of lifeline. “We found some anomalies in your blood levels, Gyuri.”

“What kind of anomalies?” Her mother asked in a surprisingly steady tone.

“There are traces of chlorophyll in your bloodstream when you shouldn't have any and I'm so sorry to be the one to say this so bluntly...” The old man managed to say before his voice broke, “but you have the Hanahaki disease.”

The small consultation room was suddenly quiet just like everything else inside Gyuri. Her mind was completely blank in a split second when her mother’s seemed to be overrun by a sudden sense of guilt.

“This is my fault.” She said with a shaky voice.

“Don’t say that.” Dr. Kim added.

“This is all my fault.” Her mother said, now sobbing.

“That’s not how it works.” Dr. Kim affirmed and then looked at Gyuri.

“But no petals…” She muttered, her brain trying to come to life and make some sense of what was happening.

“The flower petals are only in the last stages of the disease.” The doctor explained. “You haven't shown any signs that the roots are that deep into your system yet.”

“What are my options?”

“Not many, you know that.” The doctor said with some difficulty, “As a doctor, I’d suggest getting you admitted, run some more tests and make you feel as comfortable as possible whereas as a family friend, I’d say, go home and live to the utmost while you can.”

“How long?” Gyuri asked, knowing she didn’t have to elaborate for the doctor to understand what she meant.

“If nothing abrupt happens, my guess is,” he paused, his brows furrowing, “6 months, at most.”

Gyuri nodded, aware of everything and nothing at the same time. Just as the doctor said, she knew her life was done for and suddenly flooded by a horrible feeling of devastation, the rest of the appointment went by as a blur.

She managed to get herself together when she was walking through the hospital’s parking lot. So far, she was moving by sheer instinct and being her mother’s quiet sobbing by her side, the only thing ringing loudly on her head.

“Mom, I'll be fine,” she said with a firm tone that took her by surprise.

Even though Gyuri didn't quite believe it herself, she had to make her mother stop crying for a moment and get her thoughts in order but her efforts of assurance only made her wail harder.

“Who is he?” She demanded, holding her by the shoulders. “Tell me who it is!”

Suddenly, Gyuri felt her body again. She felt the soft and ever-present buzzing in the center of her chest and the pain of her mother’s fingertips dipping into her flesh in absolute distress to find the truth and a culprit. Seeing her mother that desperate was unnerving.

“Who's the bastard that's breaking your heart!?” Her mother begged.

Gyuri smiled. 

Mother Nature seemed to have some wicked sense of humor. As twisted and creepy as it was to smile at that moment and to her mother’s absolute distress, she shook her up more but Gyuri couldn’t feel anything else but a sudden wave of relief coming over her. It wasn’t hard to conclude who it was. There wasn't anyone else that she could be that attached to to the point of getting heartbroken. She wanted to laugh at the prospect of her being that blind to not see this outcome. 

“Baekhyun, mom,” she said, almost fondly, “Who else but Baekhyun?”

And his name was a trigger. 

Gyuri winced as soon as she said his name and the relief she felt just an instant before was replaced by a sudden pain that coursed through the deepest parts of her system as if the acknowledgment of the genuine cause of her disease could set off something inside her body.

Her mother paled at the confession and Gyuri saw the anger taking over her expression. Now she knew who was responsible and it didn’t matter how many times she claimed in the past that she loved him like a son, from that moment on, Baekhyun was an enemy she needed to get rid of.

“Don't tell him anything about this,” Gyuri added before her mother could fall into hysterics. “It’s not his fault.”

“Not his fault?” Her mother scoffed, “He took advantage of your friendship...”

“And I want to be alone.” Gyuri interrupted, starting to feel lightheaded. “I’ll see you later.”

Her mother protested. Her body battled back as well, but she forced herself to walk to the bus stop, and with every step, Gyuri did her best to remember every breathing and grounding exercise she could. Eventually, she was almost running because if she didn’t leave that hospital as soon as possible, none of the exercises would help and she would end up collapsing right then and there.

As she waited in the line and memories flowed by her mind, Gyuri placed a hand over her chest expecting to feel her rapidly beating heart but now, she was particularly aware of the faint stinging that went from one side of her chest to the other like an anxious caged animal waiting to be released.

Never in her wildest dreams, she’d find herself brave enough to ride public transportation alone and almost a decade later, there she was, ready to take the bus as if it was nothing and it was all thanks to Baekhyun.

"Ay, you’re not a little girl anymore.” He nagged as they waited. “How have you been commuting to school all this time?"

"My parents drive me there.” She replied softly, looking around suddenly intimidated by what they were about to do.

"What about the dates?” He turned to her, looking genuinely concerned. “Your parents dropping you off makes it a child’s play date..."

“I don’t have them,” Gyuri mumbled back, annoyed at the unnecessary roast, “you know that.”

“You don’t have them because you don’t want to,” Baekhyun said as he pulled his wallet out, “You’re quite pretty.”

Gyuri found herself smiling as she remembered that day. She felt her heart fluttering all over again at the memory of how flustered she was when he said that and while she was getting on the bus, she felt the ghost of his steady hand holding hers as reassurance.

That simple memory was only the first of the many moments she treasured about her friendship with Baekhyun. Gyuri scurried her way into the back of the bus, finding a spot standing near the door. After a while, the bus came to an abrupt halt, making all the standing passengers stumble; one of them, a guy her age, dramatically fell into a girl on the nearest seat. The guy stood up as fast as he could, apologized to the girl, and nothing much happened after that, but her mind brought up a moment from way back then. 

Gyuri had been the girl in the seat many times before. Many times shoved and pushed around and was unable to speak up when she was uncomfortable. She recalled one particular day when the bus was full and getting jostle was unavoidable, even if she was on her seat. Whenever it happened, she would simply focus on the city passing by through the window and ignore the rest of the world around her. That day, however, a familiar voice broke her out of the stupor.

“Yah! You’re hitting her in the face with your backpack!” Baekhyun said out loud, shoving a guy away and taking his place right next to her seat, somehow guarding her.

Gyuri chuckled at the memory. She must have looked like an idiot, looking up at him from her seat, probably admiring him as if he was a knight in shining armor.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Baekhyun mumbled under his breath without even looking at her, clearly upset. 

It was easy for him to say that but she was already riding the bus, confined in a small place with dozens of unknown people and fighting the urge to get out of there at the earliest opportunity. Raising her voice wasn’t necessary when she was already doing something miles away from her comfort zone. She was doing enough.

“People will stop pushing you around the moment you speak up, Gyuri,” Her friend added.

However, Kang Gyuri didn’t fall for his nagging and not even his outgoing and sometimes annoying personality. She fell for his comfort; for the little gestures, the softness in his voice whenever he addressed her, and the tenderness in which he touched her.

“I’m sorry.” He said, softly dropping an arm around her shoulders as they walked through the university entrance. “I said that harshly for no reason.”

Gyuri recalled what those words made her feel. She remembered how thrilling it was to feel his soft squeeze on her shoulder or the bright smile he gave her before dashing away to his friends. She finally acknowledged the unquestionable pang of sadness that was about to burst and barely paying any attention to her surroundings, Gyuri was surprised by her hastiness and found herself getting off the bus, gasping for fresh air. 

As she tried to walk away from the memories, her hand trembled as it went around the rim of her watch, making it difficult for her to follow the pace and control her breathing. She was fully aware that she had to stop walking for the exercise to be effective, but she needed to run away. She couldn’t even keep track of how many times her finger went around the clock and was on the brink of losing it for good that she forced herself to stop to focus all of her attention on her wristwatch. 

It hurt her chest to place her finger on the 12 and slowly go around the rest of the numbers. She was finding it too hard to settle her heavy breathing but the moment Gyuri noticed the familiar building of her favorite bookshop across the street, it was only then that she finally could grasp her bearings and hold her ground against the panic. 

With her eyes glued to the building, she managed to properly finish the first circle of digits after god knows how long and then the second and the third and so on until she calmed down.

She looked around, surprised that she was conveniently just a few blocks away from her meeting point with Baekhyun, and prompted with an impulse she didn't know where it was coming from, Gyuri walked to the bookshop. 

The three-floored bookshop was one of the only public places she visited frequently, and that never failed to make her feel like one with society. She was another common and ordinary person whenever she was in there, but for the first time, not that day and probably, not ever again. 

The moment Gyuri crossed the entrance door and stepped into the maze of bookshelves, she felt lonelier and more alienated than ever before. Suddenly, that place not only brought a wave of countless memories she shared with Baekhyun. It also shoved into her face, like a sarcastic joke, the crude reality of her fate.

It had been over eight years since the breakout. Eight years since the first person dropped dead in a pile of flower petals in the middle of the street, somewhere in Europe, and the first victim biography was still a bestseller. Eight years into it, and the sickness was still somehow a trending topic.

The news about the strange and tragic event spread out like fire around the globe, plaguing every television and every social media feed, and just a couple of days later, similar cases happened in other parts of the world. A couple of months and thousands of deaths later, it was discovered that a disease was the cause of all those casualties. 

A morbid fascination about it reached its peak when unreciprocated love was the only source of infection. If hundreds of thousands died of heartbreak, thousands more did out of the burden of being the cause; and in a matter of weeks, the suicide rates spiked, and soon after, the entire world fell into subdued chaos.

When most people were still debating if it was right to label the phenomenon that affected the entire world as an actual disease, the Japanese, who had the highest death toll, were the first ones that dared the rest of the world to address the problem head-on and gave it a name. That was how the Hanahaki disease was what everyone everywhere in the world ever talked about, and apparently, it had been like that for almost a decade.

Gyuri let out a resigned sigh as she walked away from the Hanahaki section, trying to find some comfort among the pages of a normal book but to no avail, she always found herself back to that section. Her mind reeled with all the information she had been fed up with the disease for years. She didn’t need to read more about it. She had lost count of the pile of books she read and the essays she wrote about it during her student years, and yet, the most haunting fun fact about the subject was that once diagnosed with Hanahaki, you were as good as dead.

The curse was essentially a death sentence, and it was scary to realize that all she could think of, no matter how hard she tried, was that after eight years since the outbreak, it was a disease without a cure, and so far, no one had ever survived. 

Except, for that one American woman. Gyuri grabbed her biography and wondered, just like the rest of the world, how in the world she survived. It was still a mystery, and as some claimed it was all a scam, some others believed she was some sort of prophet. As divided as the public opinion was about her, it gained her fame beyond any measure. The woman that somehow found a way to fight back the disease and win the battle against the impeccable flowers, became a celebrity overnight. Ironically, she was murdered in her penthouse a couple of years later because of a nasty affair.

Maybe that woman's life wasn't the best example of success, let alone the source of hope she needed, so Gyuri placed the book back in its place and found herself lost and clueless. For the first time in her life, she had no idea of what she wanted to read. Overwhelmed by the countless titles, a part of her wanted to buy them all so she could find an answer to her suffering. She sought for a small glint of hope that she might have the guts to fight the disease back, but the longer she kept on looking at the shelves of hundreds of books, all with the promises to save her life, the more miserable she felt.

There was one book, though. A book that didn’t mock her. A title that, for some reason, reflected quite perfectly what was going on inside her. As if pulled by an invisible string, Gyuri reached for the book.

“The Loneliest Flower.”

Just as in that known case, there were also urban legends of survivors but none as popular as the rumors about D.O. Even the gender was a mystery to the world, but the most common belief was that the writer was a male and his novel became a worldwide success in a matter of days. Gyuri remembered reading his book in class, and for some weird reason, she always felt a weird predilection over it. Decided and somehow defeated, she braced the book close to her chest and walked to the checkout.

Opening the door of that place was always a dreadful task. Most of the time, Baekhyun was by her side, and the first one to go in but some days, she had to do it herself. Gyuri breathed in, braced herself, and nudged the door open. Suddenly, as soon as she stepped into Baekhyun’s favorite restaurant, every scary thought seemed abruptly amplified by the thousands.

The sounds of countless chirping voices, loud waves of laughter, clattering cutlery, the smell of meats grilling, and fresh loaves of bread coming out of the ovens blasted against her senses and, invaded every single one of her thoughts.    

Gyuri hated the place. 

Baekhyun was always looking for new and trendy places to eat around the city, and while Gyuri found that particular restaurant too crowded for her liking, it turned out to be his favorite. The only reason she kept going there was their -four dishes and three beverages- long menu. The employees were also kind enough to respect her shyness. They even took the trouble to memorize her order and were always willing to help her speak the least possible.

She couldn't understand why Baekhyun liked it so much. The long shared tables were one of the details she hated more than anything. The layout forced her to ask if any empty chair was taken or sit shoulder to shoulder with a total stranger. Baekhyun seemed to be delighted by the prospect of being surrounded by people and quoting him, getting the chance to meet cute girls.

Checking her watch, Gyuri realized she was late just by a couple of minutes. When she looked around, Baekhyun was nowhere to be found. He was late as well, which only made the place buzz louder with voices and people moving. He not only was the cause of the ever aching scorch deep inside her chest but also left her all by herself in a place full of people.

She couldn't do stuff like that normally. People scared her. People were weird and loud, and she always struggled to cope well with socializing. That was why he was her friend; Baekhyun was her voice. He did all the talking. Not her. Never her; especially in places as busy as this, never her.

Gyuri bobbed her head to the beautiful girl with blonde bangs that always greeted her with a friendly smile and instantly headed towards the back of the place. The tables there were secluded and empty most of the time, and that day was no exception. Except for one guy and a bunch of college guys, giggling at the screen of one of their cellphones; there were enough spaces available for her and Baekhyun to eat comfortably. 

Ignoring the annoying and noisy group, she observed the lonely guy. He was focused on the food on his plate, not paying attention to the fuss on the other side of the table. His fingers gripped tightly at the ciabatta sandwich in his hands as his jaw moved rhythmically in every bite. The chairs around him were empty, and as absorbed as he seemed to be with his sandwich, she wasn't going to sit in front of him under any circumstances. That could only incite him to start a small talk she wasn’t willing to follow.

Not giving too much further thought to him, she made a beeline to the chosen empty chair but halted when the guy looked up and his eyes, his big brown eyes, found hers. Seemingly uninterested, he went back to his sandwich, and Gyuri approached the table only to find the guy, looking at her again; this time, he seemed to be observing her just as thoroughly. 

He bobbed his head at her, followed by a tiny twitch of his lips that Gyuri took as a weak attempt of a smile. He went back to his food without paying more attention to her, which was more than alright with her.

Silently, she sat down and waited for Baekhyun like she had been doing for years now. However, something was different. Now that she knew what that ache was, she could feel it everywhere. It was creeping swiftly in the most hidden parts of her body, taking over everything she was and painfully suffocating her ever so slowly.

She didn't want to believe that Baekhyun could be the cause of her pain. If anything, he would do anything to assure her safety. It had always been like that since they met on their first day in high school. Her heart fluttered, remembering every time he smiled at her, whenever he held her hand steadily and protected her from anything that scared her. 

Without any control, she found herself smiling at the memory of the many songs he sang to her just because he loved to sing. It was precisely the sound of his voice that moved the ground beneath her. His voice was so smooth and sweet that she could almost taste it in the back of her throat. Baekhyun's voice had such a strong timbre, and yet, it was so mellow and sweet; that it shifted her surroundings, distorted every sound, and made her insides churn and twist.

“Eat this.”

Gyuri snapped her eyes open. Taken aback to find herself breathing hard, she realized she was almost wheezing and leaning over the table as she gripped the edges so hard her hands hurt. The noisy group of guys next to her was silent, stealing nervous and pitiful glances at her. She sat up straight, beyond mortified, but the tenderness of the voice that spoke to her first attracted her attention once more.

“Here.” Gyuri heard that voice and looked up to a hand that pushed an opened small tin can closer to her.

The can was filled with squared and colorful candies. Confused, Gyuri looked at the owner of that hand, and she stared back dumbfounded. The man that not long ago was eating a ciabatta sandwich, was now looking at her with his big and dark eyes. At first, his stare seemed to be harsh, but the longer she kept on holding his gaze, the softer and understanding his expression turned, until the back of her eyes stung.

“It’s overwhelmingly sweet, right?” He whispered, and the way his heart-shaped and plump lips moved was pleasant to the eyes. “Right on the back of your tongue that you can actually taste it.”

Gyuri gulped instinctively, and just as he described it, a thick layer of something sweet coated the back of her throat. Unable to hide her shock at his guess, she found herself nodding and blinking rapidly to hold her tears back. It was comforting that the stranger did not seem to care about her falling into hysterics. He calmly nudged the can closer.

“You need sugar.” He added just as softly, “Eat them, and you will feel better.”

Gyuri moved as quickly as possible and took one candy straight into her mouth. She had never liked licorice candies before but now, as she closed her eyes and focused herself on controlling her breathing, she found the taste agreeable, almost soothing even. She could sense his attention on her, and when she dared to look at him, his thick brows were slowly easing up as she calmed down. 

“Better now?”

She nodded. With that, the man gave her a small smile and turned his attention back to his sandwich. She kept staring at him, quizzical and wondering how he knew exactly what she needed. 

“I know the feeling.” He said under his breath but without taking his eyes off the sandwich. “Something is growing inside you, eating you up, and drying every drop of life out of you and infesting everything in its curse.”

The burn behind her eyes intensified, getting almost unbearable when she realized how truly lonely she was. The certainty in his voice and the understanding in his every word made her see it more clearly. No one near her, not her parents or even the doctor, could ever fathom the feeling as he just did. They would never have a clue of how it felt like; yet, a lone stranger described the sensation with a few words.

But it wasn’t just his words that resonated within her. It was something in his voice; something that was just as soothing as the candies she kept rolling around her mouth. This stranger's voice had something different from all the voices around her.

Her parents were her parents; their voices made her feel at home. Their voices meant safety and comfort. Baekhyun’s voice was a whole different thing by itself. His voice was like thunder that resounded over everything disturbing and scary around her but this man's voice was special, and it was weirdly reassuring that she could find it so instantly necessary and precious even if she couldn't tell why.

The man stood up, and Gyuri closed the tin can, pushing it back towards him, grateful for the little piece of lifesaving help. He waved a hand with a timid smile that lighted up his face in a pleasant way, and she wondered just how much more handsome that stranger would look like fully smiling.

“Keep the candies.” He said, “you will need them.”

Gyuri tried to smile, touched by his generosity, and he stared at her longer than necessary before giving her another smile that didn't reach his eyes, and he was gone after that.

Slightly dazed and dumbfounded, Gyuri stayed in her seat, playing with the tin can in her hands, but there were no signs of Baekhyun. Not a single text and not even a call, and the uneasiness started to kick off again as she looked around the restaurant. She was alone in a noisy place, alone with her thoughts. She found herself alone with the ache and the longing, the confusion, fear, and the hopelessness. It almost felt like he purposely left her there to suffer. 

After what felt like an eternity later, and as if her entire body knew of his proximity, she looked at the restaurant's door. At that exact moment, she saw the man that stole her heart coming in, and she wasn't aware until then just how much relief his presence could bring. The sight alone of his beautiful face, of his white smile and sparkling eyes, should have been enough to ease the pain momentarily, but it didn’t. At least not entirely.

“Omma,” Baekhyun called her in a painful squeak. “What's going on? Where's Gyuri?”

At that moment, they all heard a clash of metal and a scream, followed by the foulest of curses. A nurse staggered out of the room, pulling her blood-dripping surgical mask off to reveal her face, looking as pale as a ghost.

“Today’s a very bad day.” Gyuri’s mother said it absently.

The nurse pulled the surgical gown off as if it were on fire and cursed her way to the office. More metal clashing came from the room, but they all stayed in their spots, frozen in surprise and shock, and yet Baekhyun forced himself to move.

“She told us not to tell you.” Her mother whispered, her eyes lost somewhere far away, as a painful cry erupted through the atmosphere.

“Not tell me what?” Baekhyun asked, slowly getting closer, “What happened?”

“She’s sick.” Her father said from his seat, wincing as another scream filled the hallway. “She caught the curse.”

“Was it me?” Baekhyun asked.

And that was all that came out of his mouth.

That was all he could think of.

All he was strong enough to say.

Suddenly, several alarms went off, making everyone flinch, and a group of young doctors rushed into the hallway as the nurse explained what happened. Baekhyun and Gyuri’s parents watched them prepare, dressing up in surgical gowns, when another painful scream teared the tension in the place and everyone reacted. Baekhyun was the first to reach for the door when a male nurse got in the way and an impossibly handsome doctor zeroed his full attention down on him, making him back off.

“Dr. Kim, why don’t you give Baekhyunie a moment?” Her father said,

Finally getting up from his seat, he stood in the middle of the hallway, slowly but deliberately standing between the doctors and the newly arrived. Baekhyun noticed the endearment in his voice and faltered under the sudden attention and recognition glimmering in everyone’s eyes. They all seemed to know him when he had no idea who anyone was.

“Jongdae, gear him up.” The handsome doctor in the front ordered, still observing him.

Everything happened so fast that Baekhyun followed every instruction without making a sound. He just let the nurse wrap him up in a similar blue gown, a hat, gloves, and cover his face with a face mask, then pulled a transparent face shield over his head.

“I’ll be right behind you.” The nurse said, letting him through the door.

Baekhyun stiffened, unsure of what to do. His first instinct brought him there, but once inside, all that confidence was long gone. He didn’t even know what he was supposed to find there, much less any clue as to what to do. He gave a hesitant step when the realization of the dreadfulness in front of him started to sink in.

The place looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie. Baekhyun saw several metal carts with all of their surgical instruments spread across the floor. The nurse behind him reached for the closest cart, tipping it straight, and started to get the contents back in place. Baekhyun kept going further into the room and stopped at the sight of a hospital bed covered in red. A few steps further in, and he found a trail on the floor that he couldn’t figure out if the reddish color of the substance spreading across the floor was blood or something else. An overwhelming sweetness filled the air, making him gag, and he cursed when he tried to cover his mouth, only to bump his hand into the face shield. The sudden movement made his entire head spin while panic rose in him, knowing that he could pinpoint that smell right away and associate it straight with Gyuri, but there was nothing he could do to stop it from reaching his nose. He could smell it, even through the layers of gear, and his stomach churned in disgust. It was Gyuri’s scent amplified to a thousand, and his entire body reacted against it. Baekhyun ignored it all—discomfort and nausea—and followed the trail of flower petals, blood, and stomach juices till another door, where he finally could hear the faint sound of her sobbing.

“Gyuri…” He said, his voice steadier than he expected, even behind the layers of gear. “It’s me, Baekhyun.”

He didn’t get an answer, but the wailing that he heard through the door made his throat twist in a knot. He could feel the pain in her voice, and the desperation in her cries was almost palpable. He stood by the door, stricken by shock, when a loud thud on the other side burst him out of his stupor. In that same surge of instinct and emotion, he slammed his shoulder against the door, which gave little to no resistance. 

He stumbled into a bathroom, but there was nothing that could have prepared him for what he found there. A sterile and open washroom. The white, cold floor was stained with bright red blood and flower petals that pooled slowly yet nonstop across the tiles.

The thick red trail that Baekhyun had followed from the bed meandered through the room to a corner behind the blurry screen of the shower, and he could see the small figure cowering in the corner. He called her name, taking a hesitant step closer, and the shade behind the screen squirmed.

“Go away," she begged. 

“I’m coming closer.” He said, giving another step.

“No!”

“Gyuri, it’s me.” He whispered, almost begging.

“No,” Gyuri cried. "Please don’t.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want you to see me like this.”

Baekhyun came closer. He was close enough to look around the blurry screen, and he found her there, shuddering against a corner. He just stood still, but nothing in him registered that it was Gyuri herself. It couldn’t be her. He refused to believe that the wounded body belonged to her.

It was trembling too much.

It was thin.

Too thin. 

Too fragile. 

It was not her.

It couldn’t be her.

It had been only a few days since he last saw her. She was fine. Looking a bit off, but fine. He remembered the fire in her eyes. Her strong voice and the resolution in her words. She was angry. She was furious at him. And she was alive. Gyuri was alive.

There was none of that fire left now. 

All that was left of her was the weakness in her whimpers and the pain in her voice as she cried. The flimsy hospital gown she wore barely managed to cover her body and the damage the curse inflicted. Spike-like things protruded from her back, splitting it open, as the blood trickled down her skin with every tremor. The tips of her delicate fingers and toes were bruised with the darkness of the disease that ran through her veins, slowly taking over her flesh.

Gyuri looked over her shoulder, and when she found him there, she recoiled even more into herself as a new spasm contracted her body into a painful fit. She wailed, desperately trying to cover her head with her arms. She was begging him to leave. The horrible, dark, and twisted mass growing in her back, whatever it was, started to twitch with every breath, making her scream. And still, even in her pain, she kept begging him to leave. She cried for him to save himself when she was breaking apart.

“Fuck this.” Baekhyun mumbled, pulling the face mask off.

If it bothered him, he didn’t show it as he moved again, possessed by something raw and unstoppable. He removed every piece of gear from his head and reached for her. He cursed the instant he touched her cold skin, and when he tried to pick her up, Gyuri fought back. She tried to push him away, but there was no strength left in her bleeding hands. She wriggled in his hold, and Baekhyun whispered to her everything that came to his mind to calm her down, but the more he tried, the more she twisted.

“Hey, it’s me.” He said, throwing all the caution aside to wrap his arms around her in a hug, “It’s alright, I’m here now.”

He hugged her tight as she cried harder and harder. All the while, he never stopped talking to her, and for the longest time, he thought it would never stop. After a while, Gyuri finally started to calm down. She had stopped fighting back. Her small hands held into his shirt in a tight fist, and her small and broken body wasn't trembling anymore.

For a moment, Baekhyun was scared to move, afraid that if he did, she might start fighting again. However, he felt her body relax, and her cries mellowed to the tiniest of sounds. It wasn’t until her fingers uncurled from her hold that he dared himself to loosen up and cradle her mangled figure with the utmost care. Yet again, he was not ready for how light and fragile she was, and a chill ran down his spine when her head lolled back and he could finally see her face.   

It wasn’t Gyuri. 

But it was Gyuri. 

She looked like her, but at the same time, she didn’t. Her eyes were so bloodshot they were almost black in their entirety, and the same bruised lines that had spread through her fingers were now stretching across her jaw. Her features were different; her cheekbones were higher and her lips were so chapped, they were bleeding, or maybe it was all the red juices dripping down her chin. He couldn’t tell anymore. All he could see was a small smile spreading across her face.  

“I love you, Baekhyun.”

Her confession came out softly. It was merely a whisper. Yet it was so definitive and final that it was loud enough for the curse to react. Her body twisted in his arms, and for a split second, Baekhyun thought something pulled her heart deeper, making her curl into a ball. He held her close to his body, struggling to let the fit pass without panic taking over. He felt so powerless while her entire face scrunched up in pain, and all he could do was watch. Thankfully, as soon as the spasm started, it ended.

“You silly genius,” he chuckled, because that was the only way he could find to stop himself from breaking apart. “I love you too.”

Gyuri went still. Her impossibly black eyes looked at him, and despite all that, he could still see the warmth glimmering in them and a whole mix of conflicting emotions going across her expression. She was confused and taken aback, as if she could not believe him. 

“I thought you knew that already," he said, smiling and pushing her hair off her face.

Baekhyun wished he could say more—that he meant it and was sorry, that he should have seen the signs and been more careful. There were so many things he wanted to say. So many things he wanted her to know, but no matter how much he tried, no words came out of him. Even less when she reached out to touch his face. Her fragile hand touched his cheek, only for him to realize he had been crying all along, and despite it all, she tried to dry up his tears. The gesture overwhelmed him. He brought her closer, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead before apologizing, but the coldness of her touch was gone. Her hand had dropped, and her eyes were now closed.

“No,” he said, patting her cheek to wake her up. “Gyuri, don’t do this. Don’t die on me. Not yet.”

Her eyes stayed closed.

“Gyuri, you can’t go.” He said, bringing her body closer to his, “Not when I’m here. Not when I love you.”

Gyuri didn’t move.

He tried to stir her awake, to make her open her eyes, but only the black swirling roots of the curse responded. He watched the darkness spreading across her skin, stoppable and brutal, and he found himself screaming his head off for help. He just screamed for someone to help. For someone to help her.

For someone to do what he couldn’t do.

To save Gyuri.

A new white coat stood in the middle of the office, and Kyungsoo could recognize the guy anywhere. The moment the newcomer turned around, the dimpled smile that flashed across his face infected him somehow. The writer felt glad and relieved to finally see him, and he even found himself smiling for the first time in days. He almost ran to him and hugged him, unaware of how much he needed that simple hug.

“I didn’t know you missed me that much.” Yixing chuckled, hugging him back just as much.

“I’m just glad that you’re here now.” 

“Junmyeon put me up to speed,” Yixing said, guiding the writer to another small office that functioned as a meeting room. “You should’ve called us sooner, Kyungsoo.”

“I know.”

“Hopefully, we can get some answers,” Junmyeon said, coming into the meeting room with a stack of papers he dropped into Yixing’s hands. “Results are starting to come in.”

“I’ll get to it.” The new doctor said.

Giving Kyungsoo a quick smile, he walked away, leaving the writer with Junmyeon as he set up a camera and a microphone for the interview, and Jongdae prepared everything to take blood samples. The writer braced himself and sat down, ready to do exactly what he had avoided for years and answer every question, no matter how hard, how uncomfortable, or how much he swore to never talk about it. He now had the chance to help Gyuri, and if that meant opening up about the time he suffered the most, he, for all the things he felt for her, would. 

Two hours later, after several vials of blood and answering an unending list of questions, which Kyungsoo tried with all of his might to answer truthfully, he and Junmyeon came out of the office and found Minseok waiting. He didn’t say anything. He simply handed him a water bottle and a cookie, which made him chuckle. The writer found the cookie amusing, but as his friend walked next to him, Kyungsoo realized just how much that little gesture meant to him. They came back to the main office and found Yixing at his desk, buried in piles of documents.

“I've never seen an invasion this slow.” He said, letting out a sigh.

“Why is that?” Kyungsoo asked him, “Why is it taking so long?”

“Because it might not be one-sided love after all.”

The writer shuddered, someone behind him gasped in surprise, and someone else in the room asked if it was even possible, but other than that, everyone stared at the doctor in disbelief. The silence that followed after the initial shock was staggering, and no one dared to say anything.

“I have a theory,” Yixing said, his face shifting in a serious expression, “but I’ll be sure once I get the results.”

“You're saying Baekhyun is in love with her too?” Jongdae was the one who finally asked, “Not only that, but is he keeping it to himself as well?”

"It can't be,” Junmyeon wondered to himself. “There's no precedent for a case of that kind.”

“Don’t jump to conclusions yet.” Yixing said, chuckling nervously, “As I said, it’s still a working theory.”

“If they love each other like you're suggesting, why was she the one who contracted the disease?” Jongdae asked again, “Why isn't Baekhyun also sick?”

"How do you know he isn't?" Yixing asked back, his nervousness shifting into a smirk.

“I was suggesting the possibility, hyung.” The nurse whined, not entirely amused that the doctor would play along with his questions, “Why isn’t he showing symptoms? It's beyond me.”

“I have a question,” Minseok added out of nowhere, and everyone looked at him. “If you suspect her case isn’t entirely one-sided love, what about the suicides? Did anyone investigate the loved ones who killed themselves? Has anyone run any proper hanahaki tests on the suicide victims?”

Once again, the silence in the room was deafening while Yixing and Junmyeon looked at each other as if they had lost an unknown battle. Kyungsoo observed the different reactions and wondered why the doctors suddenly looked so gloomy.

“Why would we?” Jongdae added under his breath, sitting in front of his computer, and started typing almost furiously.

“I don’t get it.” Kyungsoo asked, confused, “Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because South Korea had the highest rate of suicides even before the outbreak,” Junmyeon muttered. “Of course, no one tested anything when flower corpses started to pile up in the streets.”

“I’m checking the research archives to see if there’s a match.” The nurses piped in, going full into his research assistant mode.

“Yixing and I will go to the viral facilities to see if there are any recent cases...” 

A loud alarm buzzed in the office, making Kyungsoo and Minseok flinch. The doctors ran towards the door, and even Jongdae left whatever he was doing and almost jumped over his desk to follow them to the only place that would require all of them so urgently at the same time.

Gyuri.

That was Kyungsoo’s only thought. 

Gyuri.

Something was wrong with Gyuri.

Gyuri.

He followed the others, and soon after, he could hear her screams.

He could hear Gyuri screaming.

She was screaming in pain, and he found himself sprinting towards the room when someone stopped him. The female nurse in charge of bathing Gyuri was already dragging her mother out to let the doctors go in and do their job. He got the smallest of glimpses of her before the door closed in his face. The glimpse of her violently twisting in the bed that she dropped to the floor.

Then nothing.

Just an empty hallway and the sound of her pain. Next to him, her mother held onto him, sobbing uncontrollably. He could hear his friends inside the room throwing codes and orders around, calling medical terms that meant nothing to him, but above every other sound were her cries for help. And those screams went on for so long that it felt like an eternity, and he lost track of time.

“She’s fine for now.” Junmyeon informed Gyuri’s mother when he finally came out, but there was no hint of relief in his expression. “However, the stem keeps growing and piercing through her skin, so this won’t be the last time she’ll go into shock because of the pain.”

The doctor explained more things that flew right above the writer’s head, and he just stared at the door as the memory of her desperate screams kept piercing through his mind. Gyuri’s mother went into the room as soon as Yixing and Jongdae came out.

“We need the chemist.” Dr. Junmyeon said.

“Jongin? Why do you need Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked, the name snapping him out of the horrid memory while still replying in his head.

“Agreed, but I thought Kai had been off the grid for months now.” Yixing added, “We don’t have the time.”

“If the disease is advancing as slowly as you suspect,” Junmyeon said, getting significantly annoyed, “and if we don’t get a chemist like him asap, we might as well be torturing her.”

“Alright, I’ll find him,” Minseok said, his phone once again already against his ear. “Chanyeol, I need you to find someone and bring him in as soon as possible."

Kyungsoo watched his editor leave the hallway, giving his assistant more instructions on how to find Jongin, and that in itself was alarming. Then he watched the doctors get immersed in a conversation he did not understand. All he had left to do was stay rooted in his place, afraid that if he moved an inch, the sound of her screaming might return and burst everything around him into absolute chaos. 

He fought the horrible thoughts away, recalling all the times he had seen her somehow healthy. Those good days where her face seemed to shine, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes sparkled full of life, and in those quick moments, he could swear he saw mischievousness in her expression. The writer held on to those memories until he heard his name. Someone asked him something, and he flinched at the sudden contact. Taken aback and shocked to find himself in the now-dark hallway, Kyungsoo looked around to find Gyuri’s father next to him. He had his heavy hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him as if he were afraid to even touch him.

“Hey kid, Are you alright?” The man asked.

The question snapped him out of his reverie, and even though he was still confused by the sudden darkness around him, he nodded. He apologized and informed Gyuri’s father that his wife hadn’t left the room since the episode. That alone brought everything back, like an avalanche. Even though there were no more screams coming out of the room, he would never forget the sound of them.

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” Her father asked again, “You look a little sick.”

Kyungsoo pushed the uneasy wave of anxiety down his chest and apologized again. He assured Gyuri’s father that he was fine, but the man seemed to be more perceptive than he first thought, and his furrowed eyes narrowed harder on him. 

Feeling unnecessarily exposed, Kyungsoo excused himself and walked away, checking the hour and realizing the sun had set already. He went into the office to see his friends, but the stiff silence he found there made him hesitate. Junmyeon, Yixing, and Jongdae were there, each of them working at their respective desks and so focused in their tasks that neither of them noticed the writer coming in. 

The tune of the main entrance’s lock played around, announcing someone was arriving, and that made Junmyeon finally look up. Still in silence, he simply stared at the writer as if considering him, and Kyungsoo felt the need to ask if there was something wrong. Two voices coming through stopped him: one the writer recognized belonged to Minseok, and the other he wasn’t so sure who it belonged to. Suddenly, the owners of said voices came in, and the stiff atmosphere in the office lit up almost immediately.

“We found Jongin,” Minseok announced, “and this kid was waiting outside.”

But the newcomer looked nothing like a kid. A young man, tall and handsome in a near impossible manner, stood in the middle of the office and greeted everyone. However, if Minseok insinuated he was young, the guy did not behave like the youngest person in the room. The attitude and confidence he exuded belonged to someone who knew the way people perceived him.

“Sehun?” Junmyeon asked, looking at the young man with confusion, “What are you doing here?”

“Dr. Zhang asked for some additional tests and told me to bring him the results myself.” The young man explained, pulling a folder out of his bag.

Yixing got off his seat and practically ripped the folder out of the guy’s hands. They all watched him read through the results as Junmyeon, seemingly confused, kept asking to be put up to speed with what was going on. The young man ignored the questions and took a seat next to Minseok before introducing himself to Kyungsoo as Oh Sehun, Junmyeon´s new resident and assistant, and then Yixing cursed under his breath in Mandarin, which alerted everyone in the room.

“What is it?” Junmyeon asked, getting impatient.

“I sent some samples of the crusts to test.” Dr. Zhang said to himself, going back to his desk, “And I’m afraid my theory is correct.”

He clicked and typed stuff on his computer and was about to start explaining himself when his attention fell on Kyungsoo, and he stopped. Whatever he was planning to say wasn’t something he could say in his presence. Then he looked over at Junmyeon, and he was also looking at the writer with a certain glint of determination in his eyes.

“In theory, we shouldn’t discuss the case with you,” Junmyeon said to the writer. “However, since you agreed to be part of the research, I think we can find some leeway to share our findings.”

“In that case, I’m afraid my suspicion was right.” Yixing started, turning the projector on. “There was one special case: The Crying Blossom Lovers.”

Walking to the center of the office, where a rolled screen was set, and pulling it down so the image could be clear, Yixing prepared himself to explain. Everyone in the room paid attention to the slide projected on the screen and read the description of the picture of a colorful and lush willow tree.

“Cherry blossoms on willow trees?” Nurse Jongdae read out loud, “That’s not a thing. Cherry trees and willow trees are two different species of trees altogether.”

“Hear me out.” Yixing agreed, taking a moment to gather all of his thoughts, but the sudden excitement could be seen taking over his entire posture. “Two years into the outbreak in Japan, a woman and a man fell secretly in love with each other, but due to their families' different backgrounds and social standings, they could never be together. Long story short, she was the first to die, and he died days later. What’s interesting is that their bodies didn't turn into the common flower corpses we all know.”

With all that said, Yixing changed to the next slide, which showed two pictures of seemingly similar trees. They all observed the pictures in silence and disbelief. Kyungsoo saw Junmyeon stand in his place, completely frozen in shock. Minseok next to him squirmed, and after a minute, Jongdae let out a tiny curse. The writer himself stiffened once he noticed the details in the pictures. At first, to the untrained eye, both trees looked like completely normal trees with sturdy trunks, with their braches hanging low due to the weight of countless and beautiful flowers. And then, there were faces. He saw, in each trunk, as if someone had carved the shapes of sad faces. One was more masculine with sharper features than the other, but both of them appeared equally miserable. They had their eyes closed, and the natural lines and texture of the bark in the trunk made it look like they were shedding silent tears, making them look even more tragic.

“They turned into the cherry willow trees.” Yixing said in a whisper, admiring the pictures with a pinch of fascination, “They are the only ones of their kind. No one paid attention to the trees because they were thought to be simple wisteria trees widely known across Japan. Until one spring, they saw the sakura blossoms. To say that local botanists were shocked is an understatement.”

The silence and the shock remained in the room as the doctor changed the slide to a different picture. It was a closer look at one of the faces. The features were softer and more delicate; her lips were slightly parted, and Kyungsoo thought he could even see her eyebrows furrowed in pain.

“She was the willow tree.” Yixing explained, chaging to the next slide with a picture of the other face, “He was the cherry blossom.”

“What is it, then?” Junmyeon finally mumbled, admiring the picture, “Unconfessed love?”

“That’s my working theory.” Dr. Zhang replied.

“Why does nobody know about this?” Kyungsoo asked, his eyes growing darker and darker.

“Her family happens to be one of the most powerful in Japan, conglomerate giants.” Yixing said it with a sad shrug.

“I’m assuming he wasn’t that well off.” Someone added it with a grim tone.

“They spent a great deal of money to make everything disappear.” Yixing kept on explaining, “Even chopped both trees down and exhumed the bodies. No one knows where they are now.”

“How did you get your hands on all of this, then?” Jongdae asked.

"Oh, you don’t want to know.” The doctor replied with a playful wink and changed to the next slide. “Anyway, I managed to get some lab results from that case. That’s why I ordered some extra tests from Gyuri’s crusts, and this is how they look next to each other.”

“They’re the same.” Junmyeon wondered out loud.

Kyungsoo had been listening with all of his attention and stared at the new image on the screen but could not understand a single thing. All he saw were points and lines, codes, and words that once again meant nothing to him. 

“So you’re saying Gyuri will turn into a one-of-a-kind tree, and Baekhyun will follow sometime later?" The nurse asked in disbelief. 

“It's a long shot, but these lab results are too much of a coincidence,” Yixing said, leaning back on his desk, as if the idea were too heavy. “Or she might just be one of those one in a billion cases that don't follow the prognosis as we know.”

“Or she could be something entirely different,” Junmyeon said, and the determination in his voice gave Kyungsoo a chill.

The writer looked at the picture again and felt the queasiness in his stomach. Something heavy moved inside of him at the sight of that heartbroken, carved-like face in the tree. It was just a matter of time before that face would be the one he was so desperate to save. Gyuri would turn into a tree, and her misery would be so engraved in its core that it would come to the surface and be preserved there for years. And it was all because of her unconfessed love. He felt his heart sink. His entire body might as well have started crumbling when the thought came to him. He suddenly felt like the biggest idiot. The answer had been in front of him the whole time.

“Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon asked, and the writer was holding his head in his hands, struggling to keep himself straight. “Are you alright?

“I’m an idiot.” He said, recalling every single moment he had shared with Gyuri, "You said unconfessed love, right?”

The doctor agreed, and the tension increased in the room as everyone looked at the writer with expectation. In another situation, Kyungsoo would have struggled to speak his mind, but everything in him reeled in the wake of a new discovery.

“He never had the need,” Kyungsoo added, hardly looking at anyone in particular. “He doesn’t have to confess his affection for her because he has shown it ever since they met. The answer was right in front of me all this time.” He said, finally feeling himself crumble under the weight of that thought, “She kept telling me, over and over again, how much he cared for her.”

“Kyungsoo, we need to test him as soon as possible.” Junmyeon said with an urgency that brought him out of it.

“I know,” the writer said. “I’ll bring him in.”

He meant it. He would bring the guy to be tested, but nothing in him followed. He stayed in his seat, letting it all sink. A part of him was aware of the urgency of rushing out of the villa to get the guy, but he could not find the strength to move. He stayed there, refusing to believe that he might’ve had the answer all along.

“What an idiot..." Jongdae mumbled under his breath.

The small babble brought everyone’s attention to him. Kyungsoo was too distraught to even feel offended by it, but they all waited for the nurse to elaborate. However, Jongdae barely registered that everyone was expecting an explanation.

"Oh, don’t mind me.” He said, flustered to notice the silence in the room, “I just had a silly idea.”

Yixing leaned back on his desk again, and Junmyeon returned to his spot at the front of the room, observing the nurse with his utmost attention. Jongdae shrank behind his tiny desk.

“It’s really stupid.” He mumbled.

“If we will work with Dr. Zhang’s new idea, we might as well hear it.” Junmyeon conceded, crossing his arms over his chest in expectation. 

“Who knows,” Yixing added, getting more comfortable propping himself over the desk, “maybe it’s worth looking into it.”

Jongdae let out a sigh.

“It feels like it was so long ago,” he started, looking at no one in particular, “but do you remember those studies from the Royal Horticultural Society about plant behavior way before the outbreak?”

As if something seemed to click on the doctors brains, Junmyeon and Yixing looked at each other. Even the young assistant Oh, seated next to them, made a sound of recognition, and Kyungsoo just stared at them, lost.

“It was proven that a plant changes depending on its environment,” Jongdae explained exclusively to Kyungsoo when he realized the doctors got his point. “They tested it on two tomato plants; one grew better and faster when it was complimented...”

“The other died faster when it got bullied,” Junmyeon mumbled to himself.

“I was thinking that maybe,” Jongdae kept on, “the disease behaves the same way, but on a bigger scale...”

As if that turned on a switch on the doctors, Yixing and Junmyeon set on in motion, hurrying to their desk with that glint of determination in their faces that even Kyungsoo knew something big had shifted and changed.

“What are you doing?” The nurse sprung from his seat, panicking, “No, stop, it is a silly idea.”

“You’re a genius!” Yixing said, getting his stuff ready.

“No, I’m not.” Jongdae whined, sulking in the middle of the room as he watched his superiors get busy at their desks. “It can’t be, hyung!”

“Why not?” Kyungsoo was the one to ask.

“It makes sense,” Junmyeon said, running to the printer as it started spitting prints. “Maybe the disease isn’t as complex as we believe it is.”

“It explains why people die when they get rejected," Yixing added.

“Hyung, that’s a very simplistic way to see it." The nurse interjected, stomping his feet in a tiny fit, “It doesn’t answer how it is contracted.” 

“No, but it can buy us some time to keep them alive to find more answers.” Dr. Kim said, smiling at the nurse and making a sign for assistant Oh to join him, and both of them rushed out of the room.

“Brilliant, Jongdae,” Dr. Zhang pitched in, also leaving in a rush, “Absolutely brilliant!”

The office was silent once again, and letting out a whine, Nurse Kim turned to Kyungsoo and Minseok with a pout on his face.

“I swear I was just being dumb.” He said it as if apologizing. 

Once the nurse returned to his work and Minseok immersed himself on his tablet, dealing with the management of his business, Kyungsoo tried to remain still, although it was quite impossible when the heaviness in his chest kept growing and growing. He left the office, fighting off the anxiety, because now he had a mission. Junmyeon gave him a task, and it pushed him through despite the heaviness when the familiar voice of his friend and editor made him pause.

“Are you alright?” Minseok asked with a level of precaution in his voice.

It was a tone he hadn't heard from the editor since the old days of his curse. Kim Minseok was genuinely worried and unsure of the heaviness piling on his chest; Kyungsoo had no answer for him. He wasn’t sure if he was making it up, if it was really there, or if it was only his own anxiety taking a toll on him.

“Be blunt and honest, like you've always been.” The editor asked, “Are you in danger?”

“I don't know.”

Minseok nodded, most likely to hide the shudder or to stop himself from showing any distress in his body, but Kyungsoo saw it. He noticed the fright in his eyes, only because he had seen it before. 

“Be careful,” Minseok finally said. “You might've survived the first time, but I don't think you can dodge the same bullet twice.”

Aware of those words and yet still in a complete daze that steered his body, Kyungsoo drove all the way back to Gyuri’s house in Seoul. It was a long shot, but he had no clue where else to start. He could’ve asked Minseok to get the address. He didn’t know how, but he knew the editor had contacts and strings spread all over the city, and finding an address was an easy task. But he wanted something to do. He wanted something to pour all of his energy into other than just stand helplessly in that room with her. Almost mindlessly, he drove to the house, and just as he expected, the red car was parked there.

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if that in itself was a good thing or not. It shouldn’t have been that easy. He wished it would’ve been an arduous quest to find the guy. That way, it would’ve been easier to blame him for everything, but finding him there, waiting for her, just made it all harder. The guy got out of his car as soon as he parked right behind him, and Kyungsoo observed him for a moment. He desperately wanted to find something wrong with him, but Gyuri had always been right about him. He did care for her. At least he cared enough to approach his car with almost threatening intent. Baekhyun hesitated when the writer got out of his car and instinctively looked over the other door, expecting to see Gyuri get out as well, but when it was evident that he was alone, his expression changed.

“Where is she?” Baekhyun walked to the writer as menacingly as he could.

Kyungsoo remained silent, watching the guy get closer and closer, demanding to know where Gyuri was. It wouldn’t matter if he tried to explain. Baekhyun was far beyond any civilized conversation. He recognized the same frustration in his eyes that he felt in his chest. He knew the desperation to do something, so he let the guy vent until he threw an arm at him. He was fast enough to dodge it, grab Baekhyun by the arm, and pull him forward to make him stumble and have an opening to go behind him. It was easy to get the guy in a chokehold. Especially when his legs gave up on him and Kyungsoo had him against his chest and his arms tightening around his neck. Baekhyun tapped the arm directly constricting under his chin several times, and Kyungsoo let him go. Baekhyun dropped to the ground, gasping for air and stumbling, and got back to his feet.

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?" He said, coughing, “You almost killed me!”

Ignoring the overly dramatic reaction, and in an effort to avoid the noisy neighbors that started peeking through their windows, the writer walked to him. Baekhyun backed away, cursing at him if he tried to pull that trick again, but shut up the moment he was close enough to grab him once more. Baekhyun let out a yelp when Kyungsoo put his hand on him and then grabbed the back of his neck.

“Yah, yah, yah!” Baekhyun yelled as Kyungsoo dragged him around the car. “Let me go!”

“Get in the car.” Was everything the writer said and practically dropped him by the door. “Now.”

Without saying more, Kyungsoo got in on his side of the car and was mildly grateful that the guy didn’t oppose more resistance and got himself in the car, albeit cursing very passionately under his breath.

“So I was right after all,” Baekhyun said, rubbing his neck when the writer drove out of the neighborhood. “You’re an abusive asshole.” 

Kyungsoo ignored him.

“Where is Gyuri?” The guy kept talking. “Is she alright? Did you hurt her? Come on, stop being such an ass and answer me.”

Kyungsoo kept ignoring him. He tuned him out of his mind and kept driving with a purpose, and one purpose only.

“Woah!” Baekhyun said, loudly and dramatically, "And I thought she was quiet, but you, you take the cake on infuriating quiet people.”

“Is that why she likes you?” He asked. “Nah, she wouldn’t fall for a boring accountant. And even less for a shy one at that.”

“Now stop being all brooding and cool and tell me where she is. Did you kidnap her?” Baekhyun asked again but looked at him, his eyes widening in alarm. “Wait, are you kidnapping me?”

The writer ignored him, and taking the hint that he wasn’t the chatting type, Baekhyun started humming a song—the catchiest hit pop song he could remember. As he expected, Kyungsoo looked at him in disbelief, but as soon as he did, Baekhyun sang louder, enunciating every word of the silly lyrics to perfection as if out of spite, and Kyungsoo let him.

There was no point in arguing with the guy, no matter how annoying he was. He had to admit he had a great singing voice, and it was no wonder Gyuri found so much comfort in it. Even he found himself feeling soothed by his voice, especially when he seemingly changed genre and emotion. Baekhyun wasn’t singing to irritate him anymore; he was singing to himself. Kyungsoo looked to the passenger seat and found the guy looking out of his window, staring at the scenery with a frown on his expression as he let the melodies coming out of him flow through his chest with ease. 

Some time later, as Kyungsoo drove nonstop, the sudden silence distracted him, and when he looked to his side, he found Baekhyun fast asleep. The seatbelt kept his head from hitting the window, and the tiredness was more than evident as he noticed the dark shadows under his eyes. As much as he wanted, Kyungsoo couldn’t find the guy remotely threatening.

He reached to turn the volume down so the music wouldn’t disturb the guy’s sleep but caught himself before doing it. He chided himself for caring for a split second and turned his attention back to the road ahead of him and the imminent chaos that would erupt.

A couple of hours later, he pulled into the gravel road that led to the villa, making Baekhyun jolt himself awake. The guy blinked several times, taking in his bearings, but the moment he looked at the writer, everything seemed to click in his mind.

“Where are we?” He asked, fidgeting in his seat, “You really kidnapped me, didn’t you?”

“We’re almost there.”

“How reassuring.” Baekhyun mumbled.

Leaving the subject to rest, he watched the forest slowly pass by his window, and the writer drove in a heavy silence that was practically unbearable.

“What is this place?” Baekhyun asked, recognizing Gyuri’s car in the parking lot. “There’s no way you’re an accountant. Either that or you work for very bad people.”

Kyungsoo wanted to laugh. He found Baekhyun’s quibs amusing, and for a split second, he felt the chuckle raising up his chest, but he would never give him the satisfaction. He couldn't let himself feel even a sliver of sympathy for the guy. As he stood in that moment, for the sake of his own heart, he couldn't afford to soften to him. It was hard enough as it was to let this guy, who was slowly killing Gyuri, win him over so easily.

“Has anyone ever told you you look like a penguin?” Baekhyun added, with a curious pout.

Luckily for the writer, they had arrived, and he had no need to stay in the car any longer and entertain the endless tirade of quick jokes and nonsensical questions. He got out of the car and made a beeline to the main entrance, suddenly feeling that same pressure weighing on his chest.

“Yah, penguin poop!” Baekhyun yelled.

Kyungsoo froze, not realizing that the guy was right behind him, asking questions. He hadn’t heard him. His entire attention was solely focused on what was behind the walls of that place, and Baekhyun must’ve sensed the gravity of the situation. The easy-going air around him was gone, and Kyungsoo couldn’t ignore him anymore.

“Gyuri is here.” He said.

It was a harmless statement. Just as it was, it could mean a number of things, but both guys felt the graveness of what it really meant. The shock that flashed across Baekhyun’s face was enough for the writer to know that he knew more than what he led on. He hesitated, his mouth opening and closing, wanting to say something, but Kyungsoo knew the feeling too well. If he asked, if he let those words out, it would only make it real.

“Don’t make her wait.” He said, sparing him from the burden of asking.

The writer started walking again, going into the villa, and when he looked over his shoulder, he found Baekhyun following close by, looking at nowhere in particular. His entire presence felt shifted off and frightened. If he had any annoying quibs left in him, the atmosphere of the place certainly squashed all of them.

They crossed the foyer as Baekhyun followed the writer in an awkward silence, but Kyungsoo couldn’t blame him. Something was wrong. Something must’ve gone wrong at the time he was out because the air not only felt heavier but the shadows were darker. The silence was quieter than ever, and for a second, he feared the worst. Something went terribly wrong while he was gone.

“Why are you doing all this?” Baekhyun asked as if he could sense the change in him, “I thought you hated me.”

Kyungsoo stopped dead in his tracks. The genuine worry in his voice, the eerie air around them, and the gut feeling in him made it impossible for him to continue. Suddenly, the pressure on his chest felt heavier with every breath, and the question loomed over him with a weight he never imagined could be that real. The worst part, the longer he thought about it, was that he had no immediate answer to it.

“That way,” he said, pushing the words out, pointing to the end of the hallway that led to Gyuri’s room. “She’s waiting.”

Whatever attention Baekhyun had on him, the guy forgot about it all and sprinted off, running to her. Kyungsoo was left alone in the darkened hallway, and the ground beneath him started to shift. The walls moved, slowly closing down on him, but all he could hear was that damned question.

Why are you doing all this?

His heart thumped loudly in his chest, and everything around him darkened even more.

Why was he doing all this?

He asked himself, and he knew the answer to that. He had a million reasons why at the tip of his tongue. He felt the thump getting so violent he could even hear it, and way in the back of his mind, a known voice was letting out a curse. Someone was running, his soft footsteps getting closer as everything around him kept closing in on him.

“Because I know what it's like.” He said under his breath, “To suffer alone and without any hope.”

“I know you do,” Minseok said next to him, pulling him up. “Hang in there.”

The editor’s voice brought him back to his senses, and he found himself on the floor, cowering against the wall as he clutched a hand over his chest, afraid that the roots might suddenly sprout out of him. He gasped for air, trying with all of his power to let the words out, but he couldn’t find a way. The words just kept on piling up in his mind, so loud and so heavy with meaning that all of them, as a whole, made his head spin.

Because I like her more than I dislike you. 

Because I know that she needs you more than she needs me.

Because I care enough to stop her from making the same mistakes I did.

Because I can’t let her be gone, filled with regrets.

“I won’t let her.” Kyungsoo gasped out loud, while everything around him started to go dark. “I can’t let her do that.”

Because I love her.

They were planning on spending the weekend somewhere else when the screen went all black, and his name popped up, blinking in an incoming call. For a moment, Gyuri couldn't remember the sound of his voice or what it made her feel, and instantly regretting the excitement, with a hand on her chest, Gyuri answered the call.

"Hello…" Baekhyun said.

Gyuri said the same with the tiniest voice and feared the worst when she heard him sigh on the other side of the line. Although she was happy to hear his voice again, she also noticed the hesitation.

"Yah, Kang Gyuri," he finally snapped, and she almost smiled because she missed that about him, "I didn't want to call because I'm still angry at you, but it's almost my birthday."

All the giddiness and happiness Gyuri felt evaporated into thin air, and her stomach dropped to the floor. Letting out a silent curse, she jumped off the couch where she was watching a drama with her mother, and her entire body moved on its own accord in a burst of dread.

"You forgot!" He gasped over the phone.

"I did not." She lied, running to her room.

"Liar," Baekhyun said as a matter of fact, "You're still in your pajamas."

"How do you know?" She mumbled, in shock, and regretted it instantly.

The frustrating noises he made had her rolling her eyes. She smiled at his whining, looking around her desk for the monthly calendar. She searched every drawer and through every bookcase, but the floral calendar was nowhere to be found.

"You told me," He said after a while and with renewed interest, "No, you forced me to save this day for you."

"I know," Gyuri replied, giving up and collapsing on her bed.

"You said you would take me somewhere." He added, and she nodded even if he couldn't see her, "But you never called again to set the time or anything."

"I know, Baekhyun," Gyuri finally said when the sadness in his tone was impossible to ignore, "We have to be there at four so we can see each other there at..."

"At 1." He interrupted her, "I'll pick you up at 1, and we'll have lunch together. It's on me."

Defeated, Gyuri agreed, he ended the call, and she stayed there, frozen in disbelief that she could have forgotten about her plans. She had an excuse. On one of those bad days, she went on a cleaning rampage, removed all the floral items from her room, and threw away every calendar and journal she owned. Gyuri meant to have everything in the garbage but her mother, just as silent and stoic as she could be, picked everything up and religiously put them away into boxes.

Gyuri went downstairs and opened one of the boxes. The first thing she saw was the floral desk calendar. She flipped through the pages, and just as Baekhyun said, she had the date in a big circle and exclamation marks. He was right on the date.

"Did something happen?" Her mother asked, coming into the room. "Was it Baekhyun?"

Gyuri nodded, showing her the date on the calendar. The realization took over her expression. If her mother wanted to object to her plans, she kept it to herself.

"I completely forgot about it," Gyuri admitted. "How could I forget about something like this?"

"You've got more than enough to deal with lately." Her mother said, "Don't beat yourself over this."

"But I had been waiting for this day for months," Gyuri whined in frustration.

"What will you do?" Her mother wanted to know.

"Should I go?" Gyuri asked instead, knowing quite well that one more wrong move could be her last.

"Only if you feel ready to do so." Her mother finally said, and Gyuri didn't have to look at her to know she was holding her tears.

"But what am I going to do?" She asked, her eyes watering, "I threw the tickets away."

"I picked them up," her mother said, in the most focused tone she had, "and put them in one of these boxes."

"Really?" Gyuri asked, and a tear finally fell down her cheek.

"Don't worry," Her mother said with a proud smile, "If you want to go, we'll find those tickets in no time."

Gyuri couldn't understand why she felt so overwhelmed but ignoring the urge to bawl her eyes out, she followed her mother's instructions. They spent the next hour looking through all the storage boxes until they managed to find the tickets. Gyuri hugged her mother and ran upstairs to get ready.

However, getting ready to hang out with Baekhyun felt like a task Gyuri was not ready to tackle. She had no idea what to wear, not that it mattered because it wasn't a date. Going out with Baekhyun had never been a date, even if she kept dreaming it was. She didn't even like how she looked anymore. She looked off, not terribly sick yet, but she felt icky and disgusting as if Baekhyun's hand would stay stuck on her skin if he ever dared to touch her. Everything about herself just felt off. She kept going in and out of the shower, not feeling entirely clean and almost finishing an entire bottle of body cream. Her mother's nagging about running through a monthly supply of cream in less than a week finally made her stop and realize there was nothing she could do about her skin anymore.

Gyuri got herself ready in her everyday clothing, nothing fancy or special, just plain Gyuri. When she was ready and came down the stairs, she found her father coming into the house with a worried expression that made her halt. Her mother must've called him at work, afraid of their daughter not coming back home alive.

"I forgot about the exhibition." He said, pretending he hadn't rushed home, "At what time are you leaving?"

"He's picking me up at one," Gyuri replied, her eyes watering again.

"Good, we have some time left then." Her father said with a relieved sigh, "Honey, can you bring us some tea?"

Gyuri noticed her mother was crying in a corner, and with a small nod, she disappeared into the kitchen.

"You fought so hard to get those tickets, might as well use them, right?" He asked as he sat on the couch and patted the space next to him.

"Right!" Gyuri said, holding back the tears but still sitting next to her father and hugging him.

"It would be a shame for them to go to a waste." He added, embracing her in a tight hold that made everything inside Gyuri finally feel alright.

Her mother was back with three cups of tea, and before she could sit far from them, Gyuri reached for her hand. She sat next to her, and while holding her mother's hand and resting her head on her father's shoulder, Gyuri spent that time with her parents in silence as they waited for Baekhyun. When he arrived, Gyuri felt at peace. She had no more tears to shed, and still holding her mother's hand, she stood up.

"We'll be waiting for you here, pumpkin." Her father said before pressing a kiss on her forehead, "You know that, right?"

"I'll be back," Gyuri assured them even though she wasn't sure if she would survive to see them again.

Her mother gave her the tightest hug ever, and with a small smile, she finally let her go. Gyuri left the house, smiling at them, hoping it really wasn't the last time she would see them again. However, all that hope faded away when she turned around and saw Baekhyun coming out of his car, looking as handsome as ever, if not maybe even more than before. He was smiling as usual, and his fashion was just as simple as hers, but she had never found him any more attractive.

It was in vain to ignore the awkwardness. Baekhyun tried to hug her just like he usually did whenever it had been a long time since they saw each other, but her startled reaction made him back away, shocked. Gyuri smiled, trying to rub off the weird gesture and the mix of sudden pain and instant relief she felt all over her insides. She got into the car and took a deep breath.

There was just one other person she needed to talk to. She thought it was better to do it face to face at first, but then realized that she couldn't bear to see the pity in his eyes in her last moments. Saying goodbye through a text didn’t seem that much of a bad idea after all. She might not even make it out alive of that car for all she knew, so a text was all she had.

Kyungsoo… I’m going out with Baekhyun. And I think you might be right…

Wait

I won’t hold back.

Gyuri

No

Don't

Thank you.

Whatever the writer wanted to say was better to tell her himself because her phone started buzzing. His name appeared on the screen, and the time she hesitated to answer was enough to catch Baekhyun’s attention. He leaned closer to look at her phone as if he was just looking at a random video playing on the screen. Gyuri knew the action was more of a natural reaction, he did that a lot, but the moment he saw the name, he went rigid on the spot. Baekhyun backed away again, pretending he hadn't seen anything compromising.

Embarrassed, Gyuri ignored the call and diverted her attention from Baekhyun. However, the phone started buzzing again, and even though Gyuri would never ignore Kyungsoo, she knew it wasn’t a good idea to explain herself on the phone in her best friend’s presence. Baekhyun stayed quiet as he drove away and when he was about to say something, her phone started buzzing for the third time. Gyuri silenced the device and buried it deep into her purse.

“So this is what it feels like…” Baekhyun mumbled, or at least that was what she thought she heard.

“What you said?” Gyuri asked, still ignoring the buzzing phone.

"Will you finally tell me where we are going?" He asked instead.

Time seemed to stop when Gyuri looked at him with one hand on the steering wheel, looking as boyfriend-is as ever. She noticed that his hair was neatly done and was wearing accessories, and he only did that on special occasions. Gyuri couldn't help herself but smile when she saw the watch she gave him on his birthday many many years ago on his wrist. Suddenly, nothing else mattered when Baekhyun looked like he made a conscious effort on his looks to hang out with her. As if she wasn't at risk of getting engulfed by roots, Gyuri embraced the pleasure filling her chest. She had nothing else to lose anymore, and feeling rather playful, Gyuri refused to answer his question.

"It's a surprise." She said.

"I need to know so I can drive us there, you dummy," Baekhyun whined with a playful pout, making her heart skip a beat.

"Just don't leave the city," Gyuri said, ready to make the best out of that day.

“Alright then," He said, and after a while, he broke the heavy silence between them, "So how are you?”

Gyuri knew it wasn’t a simple pleasantry just by the tone in his voice. He wanted to know for real, and even if he was focused on the road ahead, his eyes were intense and searching for an answer. There was only one thing she could say. 

“Fine.” 

Baekhyun glanced at her, unconvinced by her reply but kept driving in silence. Gyuri realized that enjoying his company wholeheartedly wouldn't be as easy. At least not when she found herself so aware of his attention, of his eyes always looking at her so closely and him just generally gravitating towards her like there was no one else around them. At times, she had to reprimand herself for being so dumb. That had always been their dynamic. He was acting like he always did. Baekhyun had always felt comfortable around her, and he never failed to let her know that, and that was one of the many reasons she fell for him.

Gyuri had learned over the years to love whenever he observed her reaction to the food he ordered for her. She could feel her heart melting at the satisfied smile on his face when she let him know that the food was delicious. She loved that they could talk about nothing and everything and had to remind herself to look away several times. She caught herself admiring him as he attentively listened to everything she was telling him, and one time she had to stop herself from reaching out to touch his round cheeks. She couldn't really help herself but bite her lip when he just kept putting the best pieces of meat in her bowl. She loved his familiarity, the lack of judgment, and pretenses whenever he was with her. He didn't try to be anyone else but himself when they were together. 

Baekhyun was naturally caring, and now more than ever, she wished she could tell him everything. Gyuri tried, more than once, to let the words come out and let him know but failed every time. They came out of the restaurant, and as they settled in the car, Baekhyun looked at her expectantly. Her imagination went wild for a split second. Two different scenarios were playing in her mind. On one she confessed her feelings, and on the second one, which was wilder, she imagined him confessing his feelings, but of course, that wasn't it. He chuckled and prodded the answer out of her.

"Where to now?" He asked.

"Just go to Gwanghwamun." She mumbled, pushing every dumb fantasy aside.

With a smile on his face, Baekhyun started the engine and drove away. However, Gyuri looked out of the window to hide the embarrassment. She was just letting her hopes dominate her every thought when it was all further from the truth. Baekhyun didn't have those sorts of feelings for her. His familiarity wasn't anything other than a friendly inclination, and Gyuri felt stupid for thinking otherwise. She blinked the forming tears away along with all the idiotic feelings that had her reduced to such a lame wreck.

"No way…" Baekhyun mumbled.

It was halfway to their destination that it seemed to down on him. Gyuri could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he put the pieces together and smiled when he looked at her for confirmation, and with that, her sadness was forgotten.

"Are we going to the Museum of Modern Art?" He asked, holding tightly onto the steering wheel, "You're kidding me."

Too satisfied with herself, Gyuri pulled the tickets out of her purse and showed them to him. Baekhyun let out a dramatic gasp, and when they stopped at a red light, he grabbed one of the tickets and admired it with absolute fascination.

"How did you do it?" He asked, "They sold out in seconds."

"Because I'm that good," Gyuri said with a smug smile as she snatched the ticket off his hands, making Baekhyun cackle.

"Damn right you are," He said, fumbling with his phone, “and you know what? This moment deserves our fun song."

For a split second, everything was suddenly alright. Their favorite song blasted through the speakers as Baekhyun drove them through the city, singing out loud and looking at her with the brightest of smiles. Her heart swelled in delight, and it was impossible not to get back in time and remember one of their first interactions. Gyuri recalled the exchange as if it was yesterday. 

It was her first year at college, and although most of her lessons were kind of alright, she hated the shared lectures with other majors. People with different objectives and inclinations enclosed in the same space gave her a headache, and programming 101 was no exception. Her programming skills were already above the curriculum, but she had to take that lecture, and she dreaded the day the professor announced a teamwork assignment.

The entire lecture hall was filled with disgruntled noises and whines, and Gyuri would’ve joined if it wasn’t for her anxiousness. She would have to work with a stranger, and she felt her heart rate speeding. What if she had to work with a finance major student? The soon-to-be stock market programmers were obnoxious snubs, and the idea alone made her shutter.

“Kang Gyuri.” 

When the professor called her name, she flinched. Silence filled the hall, and Everyone looked at her, and she tapped her finger on the face of her watch at the rhythm of every dreadful second as she stood up from her seat. Half of the students’ names were on a bowl, written on paper, and she had to pick one. She would find the name of one annoying classmate to work with for the rest of the semester.

“Fingers crossed, and I get to be her partner.” A guy behind her said.

“She’s so stuck up, I'd hate to be her partner," someone else chuckled, "but I wouldn’t mind passing this lecture with a perfect grade.”

“You’re not that lucky, man.”

Ignoring the conversation, Gyuri walked down the stairs, still counting to mute out the whispers that raised with every step she took towards the front. However, either her muting tricks were ineffective, or people around her didn’t care if she could hear them because she could still hear them all.

“I bet she throws you under the bus if you don’t do your part…”

“Please, God, let me be her partner…”

“Poor bastard that gets partnered up with her…”

“She’s the best, man.”

“I saw the programming of her scholarship project, and it’s incredible…”

“Nah, I don’t need that kind of pressure in my life.”

Gyuri reached the desk and stared at the bowl. She reminded herself that at least she didn't have to handpick her partner, and could always blame her luck. She put her hand inside the bowl and grabbed the first piece of paper that touched her fingertips. She could hear silence taking over as everyone held their breath. Her heart skipped a beat as she unfolded the paper and read the name. She recognized it right away and never considered how awful art majors could be as assignment partners. The guy had a reputation, but all she could see him as was an annoying burden.

"Byun Baekhyun." She whispered to herself.

The collective reaction in the hall made her flinch again. Some whined while others cursed, and she even saw paper balls fly across the hall in protest. Ignoring the ruckus around him, the professor wrote down their names on a list and called the next student forward, leaving Gyuri alone to go back to her seat and deal with the disgruntled atmosphere of her classmates.

As she made her way back, she realized one thing: She was now the class's least favorite person. Girls hated her guts for pairing up with the most popular guy, and others who weren't smitten with his outgoing demeanor were miffed that they weren't paired up with the supposedly brilliant programmer. Either way, she hated her luck.

Byun Baekhyun was the type of person she avoided at all costs. People like him always forced her to talk and ended up mocking her if she didn't. Granted, she didn't even know the guy, so she would not dare to judge him. Maybe he wasn't like that at all, but it was difficult to know when she only knew him from what other people had to say about him. The guy was beyond handsome. She had heard the rumors of the first-year programmer that would give any idol a run for his money. Gyuri doubted he was as good-looking as all the female student body claimed. After all, most programmers were disheveled nerds, herself included.

"Good luck with that," a guy said with a chuckle.

It was the nagging that came after that caught Gyuri's attention. She was used to hearing those kinds of expressions, jokes, and rude remarks, but no one ever dared to stop the tirade once it started. Someone shutting someone else up was something she didn't hear that often, and Gyuri halted, looking at the source of that unusual exchange. One was obviously making fun of the other, and she froze at the contrast of their attitudes; her new teammate had an unamused expression plastered on his face. The other, who she recognized as quite a ladies' man, patted his back with a chuckle. She found the interaction strange.

They must have sensed her staring and when the guys looked back at her, she felt her blood rushing to her face. Gyuri had to give it to everyone she ever heard gossiping about Byun Baekhyun. They were right. He was indeed handsome. His face was small, his skin was pale, and his hair framed his features as if someone spent hours styling it for the cover of a fashion magazine. Then, against all expectations, Baekhyun smiled at her. It wasn't the brightest of smiles, but small and restrained like he was embarrassed about getting caught chiding his friend. Not that it mattered to her, and realizing that staring any longer would make her future interactions with him weirder, Gyuri went to her place and focused back on the class.

Once everyone was paired off, the professor went over the requirements of their final project and what they needed to accomplish. Gyuri wrote everything down, put her stuff away, and was about to bolt out of the hall at the end of the lecture when Baekhyun showed up right next to her.

“Should we have lunch together?” He asked, wriggling his hands in front of him in a nervous gesture that didn’t quite fit him. “You know, to talk about the project.”

Gyuri would’ve answered in some form, but once she noticed the attention of several classmates focused on them, she just couldn’t do it anymore. She didn’t even try. No sound would come out of her mouth even if she tried, so she nodded instead. Unable to handle the pressure of not even answering the guy apparently everyone wanted to be friends with, Gyuri left the hall as fast as she could and hid in the safety of the nearest bathroom stall until her next class.

Usually, it would only take a few minutes for her nerves to settle, but the expectation of meeting with Baekhyun had her on the edge for the rest of the day, and it got worse when she arrived on the third floor of the library. She enjoyed studying there, where the desks were among the bookcases and where people were generally required to maintain silence, Gyuri really liked that, but as soon as she stepped into her favorite section of the studying area, she halted and let out a sigh. 

Baekhyun was already there, scrolling through his phone and eating small sausages. He was sitting alone at a table, but when she looked around, she could see several girls staring at him, some others peeking from the top of their books, and some others blatantly walking by the table to have a better look at him. Gyuri found it interesting that he paid no attention to anyone. If he was aware of the subdued commotion around him, he was stellarly good at ignoring it. She wondered if by any chance, he was so used to it that he didn't care anymore and if that was the case, she instantly admired him for such composure. She could never do that, and letting out a sigh, Gyuri gathered every bit of her will and approached the table.

Without any idea of how to proceed to engage with one of the most popular people in the vicinity, Gyuri went for the safest option. She just placed her backpack on the table and sat down in complete silence, taking Baekhyun by surprise. He cursed under his breath, but as soon as he realized who startled him, his entire demeanor changed. Suddenly, he wasn’t as confident as he seemed to be.

"I've seen you usually sit here to study after lunch," he said after stumbling on his words to greet her.

Gyuri was going through her backpack when the observation made her stop. It was hard for her to wrap her head around the idea that someone like him would notice such an insignificant detail about her. She wanted to look at him and study his expression, but her anxiousness stopped her, so she just pulled her lecture notes out instead and started to work.

Baekhyun stayed quiet for the most part. He would ask something every once in a while and fidgeted in his seat, unsure if he could talk to her openly. She could see the struggle and discomfort and wished she could just tell him there was no need to be that formal with her, but she kept scribbling down what they needed to do. Suddenly, a phone buzzed on top of the table. It distracted Gyuri, and Baekhyun apologized before grabbing it. Not wanting to make their time any more uncomfortable than it was already, Gyuri brushed it off as nothing and kept working on a diagram, but a loud noise startled her.

Baekhyun gasped loudly, making Gyuri flinch, and in the rush to apologize, he choked on his own spit or maybe a piece of sausage. She couldn’t tell, but whatever it was, he started coughing. His face became increasingly crimson as he massaged his chest to open his airways. He not only interrupted her work, but disrupted the quiet atmosphere of the study hall, and drew an incredible amount of attention to himself.

“I’m sorry,” he said once Gyuri handed him a drink, and his cough finally subsided, “Why am I drooling so much?”

Gyuri couldn’t help herself. She chuckled at his helplessness as he mumbled apologies and nervously tried to put some order around him. Knowing that someone as popular as Byun Baekhyun could become flustered, as she did most of the time, gave her some measure of comfort.

“Aha!” He said, all the embarrassment was suddenly forgotten, “So you do smile.”

The roles reversed. Gyuri was the one feeling her face burning in embarrassment. Baekhyun observed her with a smile, but unlike her, he didn’t make fun of her bafflement. As if he could read her mortification, he changed the subject.

“Sorry, I just got excited,” he said, showing her his cellphone, “do you know Hideo Kojima?”

The name didn’t ring a bell, but the expectant glint in his eyes was astonishing. Whoever that man was, he was important, and her lack of response was enough for Baekhyun to know that she had no clue what he was talking about, and just as he did before, he gasped dramatically.

“You don’t know,” he whispered loudly, and Gyuri found it amusing that she couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, “oh my friend, prepare yourself to get your mind blown.”

Gyuri had forgotten about the rush of emotions she felt that day when Baekhyun sat next to her, with his laptop in hand, and spent the next couple of hours sharing with her something he was so passionate about as if they were the closest of friends because after that day, they became just that, and she didn’t even know why. For some reason, he seemed to enjoy her company so much that he was always around, and now that she thought about it, that might have been the beginning of her downfall.

She looked at him, years later, just as excited and passionate about the same subject as he was that day, but now, she was part of that small portion of his life. Baekhyun was driving with a smile as he sang mindlessly along the beat, and pride swelled in her chest. She mentally patted herself on the back because just like he said, she managed to get tickets to one of the most awaited exhibitions of the year. If she wasn’t that close to Baekhyun, she wouldn’t even know the whole thing existed.

They arrived at the entrance where people stood in long lines, and neither of them realized their tickets had some sort of VIP benefits until a staff member led them to an exclusive area built outside the museum. They got their tickets scanned and bracelets placed on their wrists before a waiter welcomed them with drinks to a waiting hall set up and decorated thematically with props from Kojima’s games. Baekhyun couldn’t stop mumbling to himself just how amazing everything was as he took a sip of his drink and urged Gyuri to take some pictures of him sitting on a European armchair, which was from his favorite horror video game. She agreed wholeheartedly and snapped as many pictures as possible, even if he wasn’t posing anymore. She did it just for the delight of getting more pictures of him, and by the time they finished their drinks, a guide introduced himself and let them know it was time to enter the museum.

Gyuri and Baekhyun joined a small group of a dozen people and followed the guide to a dark room. Someone pulled a curtain down, letting the darkness and coldness engulf them all, and just then, they could hear the creepy ambiance music. Gyuri was sure she heard Baekhyun let out the tiniest excited squeal when she just shivered in apprehension. She was starting to feel the pressure on the center of her chest when she was suddenly enveloped in a warmth and scent she was so familiar with. Baekhyun had slipped an arm over her shoulders and drew her closer with so much affection she just stayed still, not knowing what to do.

“Thank you so much,” He whispered. "Best birthday present ever.

The tour began, the guide started with his welcome speech, and with a soft squeeze of her shoulder, Baekhyun let her go to follow the group into the first hall. Gyuri was left behind, downright stunned in her place and with her heart twisted in pain and pleasure, all rushing through her body. He didn’t even register that she wasn’t moving and reminding herself that the gesture meant absolutely nothing to Baekhyun like the way it meant to her, Gyuri took a deep breath and followed the group.

The exhibition was just as amazing as she imagined it would be. Halfway through the first room, she realized that whether or not she knew who Hideo Kojima was, she would have appreciated the show. The man was a genius, just like Baekhyun told her all those years ago and it didn’t surprise Gyuri that he was practically a goner the moment they crossed the dark and creepy entrance hall. She couldn’t blame him. The place was covered not just in video game artwork and concept designs, but also contained hundreds of items from Kojima’s own collection. There was so much stuff on every wall that Gyuri struggled to know where to look at first and wondered if Baekhyun had the same issue.

Looking around the hall, searching for the man that had the entirety of her wrapped so tightly around his little finger, she found him standing in the middle of the room, frozen in amazement. Gyuri walked around to join him, and the expression on his face was something she never wanted to forget. His eyes glimmered as he admired a white space suit set up behind a glass case. Very few times she’d see him so dumb-struck that even his mouth hung open in absolute wonder. Gyuri snapped a few pictures of him from a distance before following the tour guide toward the next hall. It was only then that Baekhyun joined her, whispering nothing but compliments about certain pieces as he looked through the pictures he just took with his phone. And the tour went on like that for the next couple of hours until they reached the final section which was a curated library.

Gyuri was immersed, flipping through the pages of Kojima’s private diary. She was utterly fascinated by the way the man expressed himself that she just knew Baekhyun would love to read it. She called him, but he was already heading for the exit, leaving her behind. Taken aback and wondering if he was truly leaving without her, she called him again. He glanced at her over his shoulder quick enough for Gyuri to notice that he was talking over the phone and his eyes flaring in anger. Whatever twisted his expression made her heart sink, and she found herself instantly worried. Something must have happened. That could be the only reason he would look so agitated, and Gyuri followed him toward the exit. She kept her distance, giving him privacy, but every time she saw him rolling his eyes in annoyance, she fought the impulse to get closer and do something. She kept telling herself that all she could really do was wait and be there for him.

“Is everything alright?” She asked as soon as he hung up.

“Yeah,” He hesitated, still looking at his phone as if it could come to life at any moment, “It was Mina. She’s just being unreasonable.”

Gyuri felt like the biggest idiot in the world. The immense love she felt for the guy was too blinding at times. It was so overpowering that it tricked her mind to wander off into her fantasies in which she was the most important person in his life. She wasn’t. He had a girlfriend. Baekhyun wasn’t hers, but she couldn’t let him notice her disappointment.

“I hope everything is alright.” She said just as a mere courtesy.

“She said we shouldn’t be friends anymore.” He said, finally looking at her.

The resignation in his eyes twisted the roots in her heart, and she had no idea what prevented her from losing control of her emotions. She felt the twist. The buzzing pain grew louder and sharper, and she knew she should’ve been terrified to feel it deepen its roots through her heart, but she wasn’t even scared. She also knew that the soundness of mind taking over her wouldn’t last that long.

“I should go back home.” She said, looking down at the round tips of her shoes.

“Gyuri, wait,” he stopped her, “I told you, she’s being unreasonable.”

“I don’t want to get you in trouble with her.”

Gyuri wasn’t looking at him when she said that, but she heard him let out the longest sigh. For the first time since she got diagnosed, she did not run away from him, although she wanted to. Gyuri knew she would be safe if she left, but an unbearable longing to be next to him made her stay.

“You’re not getting me in any trouble, so stop worrying about it and let’s go, I’ll take you home,” Baekhyun said with such a softer tone that Gyuri had to look at him. “I always take you home, remember?”

Gyuri recognized the intent behind his voice. She had fallen for it long ago and craved it when she was the most scared. Baekhyun always spoke to her like that when he wanted to reassure her that everything was alright. She had learned to identify the genuine care dripping in the deepness of his voice, and she let it take her away. She could never run away from him when he showed himself so worried about her so Gyuri followed him back to his car.

Despite his efforts to calm her down, the tension between them was heavy and uneasy. It was impossible to ignore the obvious crack in the wholeness of their friendship, and Gyuri started to regret not running away like she first intended to. She wouldn't be locked in the car with him and all that made him so incredibly alluring if she weren't so blinded by this twisted love.

"So, what are you up to?" Baekhyun finally asked.

"Nothing important," Gyuri lied, looking away, "Just work and such."

"What are you talking about?" He said, and even though he kept his eyes on the road, she knew the reproach in his voice, "You quit your job a few weeks ago."

Gyuri felt the chills running all over her body, and only a tiny sound came out of her mouth. Baekhyun didn’t push her further into giving him an explanation, but she almost wished he would. His silence was worse. She looked at him, expecting to find a scowl on his face, but he seemed just as calm.

"I ran into one of your colleagues." He said, his voice turning just slightly harsher but still trying to keep it soft, "You might remember her. Her name is Suyoun."

Of course, Gyuri remembered her. The girl was her direct subordinate, and she pretty much had to handle all the workload alone after Gyuri submitted her resignation. That was why she worked hard to leave everything as organized as possible. Poor Suyeon didn't deserve to deal with her mess alone. Also, she was the only one Gyuri talked to constantly, and she might have cried a little when she bid the girl goodbye at work.

"Imagine my surprise when she asked me if you were alright," Baekhyun added, and the sarcasm in his voice wasn't just simple sarcasm, it was full of something else, "apparently, you just requested your leave of absence and submitted your resignation letter out of the blue."

“I needed a change.” Gyuri lied.

“I’m calling bullshit.” He replied, “You are the only one in our entire generation that got into your first option job, and you like it so much you even excel at it.”

“I guess people change.”

"They sure do." He conceded although he didn’t sound at all convinced. "So, how are things with the accountant?" 

Gyuri was surprised that he dropped the subject so easily but couldn’t feel relief about it because she realized he didn't even bother to remember the writer's name. In a way, she wasn’t even surprised by such a passive-aggressive move. It was such a Baekhyun thing to do when he didn’t like someone. However, she couldn’t dwell on that when memories from the past weekend rushed to her head. Despite all the pain and craziness the curse hurled at her, most of what she remembered of that trip was pleasant.

"All good." She said, trying to push aside the memory of his presence in that bathroom and his intoxicating closeness.

"Are you sure?”, He asked, glancing at her, “Because you're blushing."

“I’m not blushing.” She mumbled, taking a deep breath.

Gyuri was blushing. She could feel her face burning at the memory of fingertips brushing over her skin, but she would never admit that to Baekhyun. Not like she could ever keep anything from him because the guy was just too perceptive. He gasped, looking at her, probably imagining the worst.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Nothing.”

“What do you mean with nothing? You wouldn’t be blushing like that if nothing happened,” Baekhyun argued back, pulling the car over to the front of her house.

“I’m not blushing.” She said through her teeth.

Sensing that Gyuri was about to lose her temper, Baekhyun killed the engine and called her with a condescending tone that was about to make her snap. Thankfully, they were right outside her house, and that was her way out of the situation. She was unbuckling her seatbelt when she felt him positioning himself to have a better look at her. Gyuri had seen that posture many times before whenever they spent hours talking in his car. Baekhyun would sit like that to talk and gossip with her about whatever came to their minds, but that day, for the first time, she would not let it happen. Gyuri opened the door and scrambled out of the car, leaving him shocked in his seat and looking at her as if she had just smacked him in the face.

“I’ll tell you some other day.” She said.

“Sure.” He replied. 

Even though he smiled at her, she knew Baekhyun did not fall for it. The gesture never reached his eyes, and the moment she closed the door, she saw, through the smoky tint of the window, how his entire expression and demeanor fell apart in disappointment. Gyuri couldn’t let the urge she felt shift her determination. Knocking at the window, she waved her hand and smiled as genuinely as it was physically possible until there was a smile on his face. It fascinated Gyuri how effective that was because Baekhyun waved back at her, now with a small yet genuine smile. He drove away, and she watched the car disappear around the corner, relieved to have survived. 

As if she was taunting fate with that thought, she found herself suddenly frozen in fright. She trembled as chills ran through her entire body and recognized everything about the sensation only because she had experienced it before. Gyuri had smelled that scent before. She turned around, standing right before her house, and the place that had always felt like the safest place on earth was suddenly darker, bigger, and scarier. 

She was spinning, and tumbling around, slipping out of a horrible desert and back into semi-consciousness. She couldn't stop the tumbling and the throbbing for dear life until she opened her eyes and felt her mouth full of sand. But Gyuri wasn't in a desert, and her tongue wasn't covered in sand. She was just lying in bed in a blindingly white room, with a pounding headache, a disgusting thirst, and what she guessed, for the first time in her life, a nasty hangover. She tried to blink off the tumbling sensation but gave up when she sat up and felt her queasy stomach. 

Gyuri noticed that she was wearing different clothes than the ones she had the day before and panicked. She couldn't remember changing and looked around for answers when she noticed the curled-up body tucked in blankets next to her. She felt all the warmth in her leaving her body in absolute terror of what she couldn't remember. Tugging the blanket, she discovered a mop of tangled hair and then Anna's impassive face under the hairy mess, snoring ever so softly. Gyuri deflated back on the bed in absolute relief but instantly regretted it when her world spun around her.

"Drink all that water and get some food, for goodness sake," Anna mumbled with a groan without moving an inch from her position.

Gyuri felt too unsettled to feel mortified and without arguing, she dragged herself out of bed to find at least half a dozen water bottles on the nightstand beside the bed. Some more were empty and scattered on the floor, and wondered how she managed to drink all that water. She had no recollection of doing it whatsoever.

Grabbing a couple of bottles, Gyuri left the room, squinting at the bright morning light seeping through the windows, and went to the kitchen. She wasn't thinking. She was too hungover to think about anything but felt her stomach drop when she found Kyungsoo washing dishes and food sizzling on the stove.

He must have felt her presence in the room because he looked over his shoulder and muttered a quick greeting before resuming his dishwashing. Grateful that Kyungsoo wasn't observing her, Gyuri walked over to the kitchen island and settled on one of the stools. She was opening one of the water bottles when she noticed that the writer finished the dishes and was now observing her quite intently.

“Why do I still remember stuff?” Gyuri asked before gulping half the water down in one go.

“You didn’t drink nearly enough to blackout,” Kyungsoo explained, and he busied himself back on the stove.

"I don’t know which one is worse.” She added, feeling her head pounding. “Did I say anything embarrassing?”

“You told me your biggest secret.” He said, placing a bowl of soup in front of her.

It took Gyuri a couple of seconds and quite some thinking to recall what secret he was referring to but when it finally clicked on her, she froze in her seat and felt her mind suddenly becoming clear. Her eyes opened wide, scared of what it could mean because she remembered many things, but clearly not as much as she wanted.

“Did we…sleep together?” She mumbled.

“No.”

A wave of relief came over Gyuri, and she swore to never get drunk again. However, that didn't erase the mortifying notion that she blurted out such things in his presence, and struggling to meet his gaze she dug into the soup. She welcomed the feeling of her stomach calming down, but Kyungsoo stayed still in front of her, fiddling with his fingernails as if deep in thought.

“I didn’t write it down," he said after a while, "but I made sure it happened before it was too late.”

“I guess I’m not that weird after all,” Gyuri replied after stuffing her mouth with food.

Kyungsoo shook his head, making a funny face, and was about to say something when Anna came into the kitchen and embraced Gyuri in a big tight hug. Surprised and taken aback by such a display of affection, Gyuri stayed still, looking at Kyungsoo for any explanation or cue of what to do next, but he simply observed the scene with a smile on his face.

"You look rough," Anna said, tightening her arms around her, "which means it was a good drinking night."

Everything happened so quickly that it was hard for Gyuri to follow, but the moment Kyungsoo placed a bowl of soup next to her, Anna let her go, and for a split second, she could swear they exchanged a meaningful stare. They didn't say anything, but the grave looks in both of them made her wonder if something happened. Their silent exchange ended when Minseok joined them with his hair all in disarray and still wearing his pajamas. Anna sat down and dug into the bowl with passion while Kyungsoo placed a third bowl for his friend. As soon as they were all set and eating, the writer brought a pan, still sizzling with marinated beef, and placed it in the middle. To her absolute surprise, Kyungsoo had a slice of meat on his chopsticks and was ready to feed her. Gyuri almost choked on whatever she was eating but leaned forward, opening her mouth nonetheless, and felt herself blush. The meat was delightful, but it was the gesture itself that had her smiling. The giddiness didn’t last for long. She couldn’t even bask in the feeling when she watched Kyungsoo doing the same to Minseok.

"What about me?" Anna asked when she opened her mouth, but Kyungsoo only nudged the pan closer to her.

"You have your own hands," Kyungsoo said with a deadpan expression that made Minseok chuckle.

Gyuri practically deflated in her seat. She nagged herself and wanted to slap her face at the ridiculousness of hoping that Kyungsoo would ever do something as intimate as feeding her when they were not even that close. Kyungsoo invested all of his attention into whatever he cooked and was more than happy to share it with the people around him, no matter who they were. She really wasn’t that special and hated herself for thinking she was.

“Is there anything wrong?” Anna asked, noticing her sudden silence.

Shaking her head, Gyuri resumed her breakfast, gulping down not only her food but her feelings as well. Unfortunately, that wasn't the only embarrassing moment she had to endure during breakfast because her hosts invested themselves in getting her up today with all the silly things she said and did the night before. 

It wasn't all bad. Gyuri found herself chuckling at the stories of her silly drunken antics. For a moment, she thought about Baekhyun. She wondered what would have happened if he happened to be around. She pictured herself telling him the stories of her first drinking night, and she knew he would pester her for not inviting him. She lost herself in the fantasy of what could be but was brought back to reality by the editor asking her something.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Minseok asked again, and Gyuri simply stared at him as if caught up like a deer in headlights.

"She's probably too hungover to want to go on a hike, honey," Anna said, winking at her.

"She can sweat it out up there." The editor added. 

The idea alone made her shudder, and they all quieted down by her reaction. Gyuri wanted to apologize, but the sudden attention and, she wasn't so sure if she was correct about it, the look of endearment on their faces stopped her. They were all looking at her.

"I'm not feeling that well," Gyuri ventured to say.

Minseok was ready to say something about that argument, but Anna was faster and dragged him back to their room as they bickered back and forth about whether to go out hungover or not and left Gyuri and Kyungsoo all by themselves in awkward silence.

"I guess I will have a shower," Gyuri said when Kyungsoo cleared off her empty dishes.

With her stomach full and not as queasy as before, Gyuri excused herself from the kitchen and hid in her room for as long as she could. She took a long shower, hoping for the hot water to wash the hangover away, and then devoted herself to the tediousness of applying cream all over her body. She was done after a while and tried to just hang out around the room, enjoying the toiletries available but was also aware of how awful it would look to her hosts if she stayed locked up in her room. 

Checking her reflection in the mirror, Gyuri encouraged herself before going to the living room to find the person she was trying to avoid silently sitting on the couch. She took her time and felt her cheeks suddenly flaring as she recalled the embarrassing things she said. Gyuri had to push those thoughts aside and greet the writer, but he didn't move. She cleared her throat, hoping it was loud enough for him to hear, but once again, he remained unfazed. Walking around the couch, Gyuri realized Kyungsoo had his headphones on and was watching what looked like a movie on his tablet. However, the moment she came into his peripherals, he noticed her presence, and a smile spread across his face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, removing his headphones.

"Fine."

"How's the hangover?" He kept on as he got up from his spot, but Gyuri was ready to leave the cabin.

Gyuri thought she was feeling good enough to handle the embarrassment of her drunken mishaps, but once she had his attention on her, she could feel her head pounding louder and her face burning hotter. She schemed her escape. She could hide in the garden for a good while. A part of her wanted to believe that he wouldn't mind.

"The shower helped," Gyuri replied, already heading to the door to get out of the place, but his voice stopped her.

Kyungsoo called her and walked around the coffee table toward her. She froze on the spot, not knowing why she felt more out of place at that exact moment than ever. All she could do was blame it on the annoying headache, the disgusting rotten taste that never ceased to come up her throat, and the clamminess and stinky texture of her skin. Maybe she was too hungover to think straight and misinterpreted the caring and almost loving expression on his face. She must have because it wouldn't make any sense for him to be so kind, handing her a bottle of a hangover remedy. She thanked him for it, and feeling as if her entire body might light up on fire, she excused herself and left the cabin.

The bright sunlight hit her face, and Gyuri let out a sigh. She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath and filling her lungs with fresh air, made a beeline for the garden. She found the place just as peaceful as she recalled the previous day and settled on the chair under the tree. Instinctively, she pulled her phone out of her pocket to check for new messages. There was none. Cursing under her breath, she stared at the name on the screen, debating whether or not she wanted to call him. The most hurt and selfish part of her heart kept reminding her that he was at fault. Rustling noises made her snap back to the present, and Kyungsoo came into the garden carrying a small portable table.

"You bolted out before I could give you any of this," he said, just as softly as ever, as he set the table next to her. "But I promise you'll feel significantly better."

Gyuri noticed the glass of water, the hangover pills, and a strawberry parfait perfectly placed on the small table and she just stared at the items at a loss for words. An overwhelming swelling burst on her chest in a way she couldn't control, and tears broke out from her eyes. Gyuri cursed, rubbing the tears off her face, but Kyungsoo was already opening a packet of tissues for her and placing them next to the glass of water.

"I'll leave you alone now." He said, hesitantly looking at her as if he wanted to do something else, "call me if you need anything else."

Kyungsoo walked away, and Gyuri tried to say his name, but her throat tightened up in an unknown burst of emotion. She watched him disappear as more tears fell, and grabbing the tissues, she cursed at herself as she tried to reject the image of Baekhyun smiling at her out of her mind. 

Gyuri observed the things on the table, and she felt her mouth watering as she imagined the sweetness of the strawberry ice cream on her tongue and the sugar easing up the growing curse on her chest. She desperately wanted Baekhyun to be by her side. She wanted him to bring those things and take care of her. However, as fast as those tears fell from her eyes, a darker and more twisted thought took over her. She wouldn’t be in a such predicament if Baekhyun cared about her in the first place. If he loved her, she wouldn’t have to fight the primal urge to gulp down that strawberry ice cream to relieve the ache at the core of her heart. She wouldn’t be crying by herself in a stranger’s house that took pity on her, wondering how it would feel to have the man she loved so damn much wrap his arms around her to comfort her.

There were ways to relieve the pain. That much she had learned from Kyungsoo. She reminded herself of that truth. She had tools on her own, she told herself. Gyuri slowly regained control over her emotions, swallowed the hangover pills, and reached for the strawberry parfait. It was homemade. Kyungsoo must have made it himself, and whatever was on her making her lose her wits so easily backed away. She might not have Baekhyun by her side, but there was someone who at least cared enough to make her a cup of natural strawberry ice cream. Sitting back comfortably on the chair, Gyuri dug into the cup. She felt her body relax almost instantly as the sweetness soothed the desperation that took over her so suddenly, and finished the whole thing in no time. 

Gyuri lost track of time, seated in the peaceful garden, thinking about nothing and a million things at the same time. The sun started to fall. The day was ending, and countless birds were settling on the nearest trees on the other side of the fence. She basked in the moment as the beautiful harmony of countless chirps and songs filled the air around her. Then, she heard the voices of her hosts at the front of the cabin and knew that the time on her own also came to an end.

***

“Are you ready to have some delicious meat?” Anna greeted her with a wide smile.  

Gyuri was still at the threshold when Anna reached for her hand to pull her along. She looked at the woman, excitedly going over all the food and snacks they had ready for dinner, and Gyuri glanced over where Kyungsoo was standing in the kitchen. He was chuckling at whatever Anna was babbling about, and then their eyes met. She saw his expression change from amused to a disarmingly gentle smile that made everything make sense. Gyuri felt herself blush at the realization and listened to every instruction with the utmost attention. She shoved her latest breakdown into the deepest parts of herself and focused entirely on enjoying her time. She deserved it. She desperately wanted it. She needed it.

An overnight campfire.

They planned an overnight campfire in the garden to watch the sunrise, and Gyuri struggled to keep the tears at bay. Before she could succumb to the wave of emotions again, she set herself in motion, letting the excitement and happiness infuse her entire body with energy. She helped Anna to set up everything on the low table on the deck as Minseok worked on the grill next to it. Gyuri took a moment to observe the couple settle everything perfectly for their night, most likely, oblivious about the reason behind it all. If she wasn’t already so enchanted by how nicely they welcomed her into their life without any reservations, she for sure felt an immense amount of affection for them.

Not long after, Gyuri found herself genuinely enjoying the moment. She was seated at the wooden deck, with a can of carbonated juice in her hands, and sharing chips with Anna as Kyungsoo grilled the meat with Minseok assisting him in whatever he needed. As if Gyuri wasn't a new acquaintance but a long-time friend just catching up with their latest shenanigans, Minseok kept telling funny stories of their adventures together. She almost choked on a snack when Minseok told the story of one of their cookouts during a winter night and how the wind blew the meat off the grill. She laughed out loud, clearing up her throat when she noticed the change. The air was heavy and still, and looking up at the sky, she couldn't help but say it out loud.

"It will rain soon."

"What? No." Anna added, looking up at the open sky as well. "I checked the weather and the probability of rain was super low today."

Suddenly aware that the good mood dipped, Gyuri scolded herself for making everyone look up at the sky for the signs of rain as she announced. She wanted to hide in embarrassment for ruining such a moment and braced herself for the weirded-out stares or something of that sort. However, not dwelling too much on the comment like her anxiety convinced her they would, her hosts resumed their conversations, and Gyuri let out a sigh of relief. She looked over where Kyungsoo was by the grill and observed him still looking up at the sky. He found her stare and looked at her with a glint of curiosity and fascination that made her blush. Gyuri wished she was drinking beer so she could blame the alcohol but her internal babbling was interrupted by the unmistakable smell of wet soil. That distinctive scent of the first droplets of rain reached her nose, and before she could say something, Anna gasped next to her.

"Did you feel that?" She asked, looking up and wiping something off her cheek.

There was no warning. After a few droplets here and there, rain poured down cold and heavy. Anna cursed, jumping off the deck. Minseok giggled as he ran away but went back for his girlfriend as Kyungsoo grabbed as many pieces of meat off the grill. Smiling to herself as the raindrops hit her head like marbles, Gyuri gathered as many things as she could from the table and ran to the cabin.

Gyuri just could not tell if she was crying from laughing too much or if her face was wet from the rain. She was on her way out of the cabin to help rescue the rest of the food when she slipped on a wet spot and went sprawling to the floor. She burst into laughter and heard Anna cursing and laughing as she slipped on the wet floor as well, and then, deep giggles and a beautiful smile were the only things she was aware of. Kyungsoo reached out to her, holding her with his strong grip and helping her up. He asked her if she was alright and unable to stop the giggles erupting from her chest, Gyuri nodded. 

The amusement of the situation faded away when Gyuri felt him closer. Holding her breath because of his closeness, she looked away when he wrapped an arm around her waist to help her stay steady and away from the wet spots on the floor.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked, finally letting her go.

Still flabbergasted by the gesture, Gyuri nodded. Kyungsoo meant to go out and bring more stuff to the cabin when Minseok came in, almost slipping on the same wet spot Gyuri fell.

"Don't, there is no point going out," he said as he gave Kyungsoo whatever he managed to save from the rain, "everything is soaked by now, including the coal so we can't use the grill anymore."

No one seemed upset by the news. Still giggling to themselves, they all reunited by the kitchen island, dripping wet and shivering. Minseok laughed, grabbing a bowl filled with soggy chips. He asked who was the genius that brought it in instead of anything else more worth saving when his girlfriend cursed at him. 

"Those are my favorite chips," Anna said, snatching the bowl off his hands.

"Alright love," He said, winking at her, "I'll let off the hook because of that."

Anna made a face at her boyfriend, and as the oldest in the group, Minseok wasted no time organizing everyone with a glint of determination in his eyes that gave Gyuri chills. So far, Kim Minseok had behaved so ordinarily normal that she kept forgetting that he was the force behind the biggest editorial powerhouse in the country.

"We won't let that meat go to waste." He said as a matter of fact. 

And just like that, he put everyone to work. Anna cleaned the floor as he and Kyungsoo dried everything up in the kitchen, leaving Gyuri with the only task of changing into warm clothes and drying her hair so she wouldn't get sick. As the youngest, Gyuri couldn't do otherwise and sheepishly went to her room to do as told. by the time she was back, the floor was clean, and Anna had retired to her room to change her clothes as well.

Gyuri came to the kitchen, hopeful that either Minseok or Kyungsoo would let her take over what they were doing. Minseok looked over at Kyungsoo, and with a smirk, he told Gyuri what to do and left the room. She was drying up the lettuce leaves and putting them in another bowl when she felt Kyungsoo looking at her.

"I don't think I've heard you laugh before." He said, but when she looked at him, he was already turning around to season the meat on the counter.

"The whole thing was funny."

"You should laugh more," he said, pausing to look at her, "You look prettier when you do."

Gyuri went silent. She knew she should feel her cheeks flaring, but what she was feeling was far from that. It wasn't a burning embarrassment that would force anyone to recoil and hide. What she felt was a comfortable warmth that spread across her limbs and only managed to make her smile more. In a way, she even wanted to hear him say that once again. 

"How on earth did you know it would rain?" Anna said, coming in and breaking the spell between them, “What are the odds of getting a storm out of nowhere?” 

“You said it wouldn’t rain,” Minseok said as he came after Anna, still rustling his wet hair with a towel.

“The forecast said it!” Anna said as she stared at the pouring rain falling outside the cabin. “Unbelievable! What a bunch of liars.”

Gyuri stayed quiet, smiling as Minseok relieved her of the kitchen duties and sent her to relax next to his girlfriend on the couch. She neither complained nor dared to say anything about the rain, considering how baffled her new friend was. It didn't take long for her and Anna to be snuggled under cozy blankets in the living room as the guys prepared dinner. Kyungsoo focused on grilling the meat while Minseok prepared the drinks. No matter how much Anna insisted on helping in the kitchen, the editor refused.

“Well, not gonna lie,” Anna said as she took a sip of her beer, “This is nice.”

“That’s because you’re not moving, darling.” Minseok retorted, giving Gyuri a cup of hot punch.

She gave tiny sips at her drink as Anna talked and talked about everything she had found to love about being back in her homeland until it eventually stopped pouring outside. Minseok and Kyungsoo joined them with their food and found themselves talking the night away as the pitter-patter of the rain enveloped them in a comfortable atmosphere. Although, as nice as it was, something was looming over them. Gyuri noticed the quick and worried glances her hosts threw outside. Anna, in particular, kept looking through the windows with furrowed brows, but it seemed like the sky wasn't over with its wet tirade. Gyuri checked the time and realized what kept them so distracted. The sky wasn't clearing up enough to see the sunrise, and the worst part was that it would never clear up. They all moved to the porch where Minseok and Anna stopped pretending, staring at the landscape around them, whispering about how bad their luck must've been to get such rainfall when they needed a clear sky. As time went by, it was certain the rain outside would not stop.

The sunrise never came. 

They all waited in silence, looking at the horizon as if by some miracle, the clouds would move away to let the sunlight shine through but it never happened. Anna was the first to give up, turning to Gyuri, and blatantly stared at her as if she could see the deepest parts of her soul. Gyuri recoiled under her eyes and meant to ask if there was a problem, but she barely managed to let out a squeak.

“Are you drunk?” Anna asked instead, and Gyuri shook her head. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not getting that drunk ever again,” Gyuri muttered, feeling her cheeks burning, which only made everyone chuckle.

“Nah, I just need you to be sober enough so I can sleep with my boyfriend.” She said so unceremoniously that Gyuri panicked for a second.

She looked around, expecting to see scandalized expressions from the guys, but all she got was an excited smile from the editor. Kyungsoo seemed particularly unfazed by the comment. 

“Have a good sleep,” Gyuri replied with an unsure inflection in her voice. 

With a playful wink, Anna kissed her forehead and left the porch, closely followed by a skipping Minseok that looked ten years younger than his actual age. Gyuri simply watched them disappear inside the cabin, leaving her and the writer alone. She noticed the shift in the atmosphere. She would welcome the silence, the freedom to stay quiet in his presence. Now, there were so many things she wanted to say. She needed to apologize first and foremost, but whenever she tried to bring a word out of her mouth, she didn’t even know how to begin. Gyuri cursed because that awkwardness was created by herself and her alone.

"It didn't go as planned." Kyungsoo said after a while, his eyes still locked on the horizon, "I'm sorry."

Gyuri looked at him, baffled. He had nothing to apologize for, so she forced it out of herself. If there was a moment when she needed to throw her shyness aside, that was the moment, and by no means she wanted to miss the chance.

"Hang out with my friends all night long to watch the sunrise together." Gyuri said wish number four out loud, "I say this counts as a completed wish."

"Are you sure?" He asked. "We can try again some other day." 

"Thank you."

Gyuri whispered, looking at him as the notion weighed on her in a way she was not prepared for. She desperately wanted to express herself better, to convey what she felt but found herself as if under the spell of his kind smile, she just could not find the right words.

"I'll go to bed," she said instead.

With her face now feeling like it was burning in embarrassment, Gyuri left the porch before Kyungsoo could do anything that would make herself embarrassed any further. She let out a sigh, weighted with tension, and reached her room without any incidents. Feeling suddenly exhausted and confused, she laid down and stared at the wooden ceiling above her, wondering if what she was feeling was normal or not. She couldn’t tell anymore. Her stomach moved weirdly inside her body, and she rubbed her tummy as if that could ease the sensation. It didn’t. Whatever it was, it kept moving around, and she did not like the feeling. 

Not knowing what else to do, she went to the bathroom and took a deep breath before lifting the toilet’s lit. She leaned forward, not dwelling too much on it, and stared at the white toilet bowl. For a second, she didn’t know what to expect. She just followed her gut, and as she observed the impassive water, her body finally reacted. She wouldn’t be able to stop it even if she tried. Nothing hurt, and there was no warning. Gyuri felt the warmth coming up her system and then red pouring out of her mouth. There were no gag reflexes, no battling against the curse, and more strangely, no pain. No burning. Nothing was tearing her skin apart.

Gyuri felt her eyes watering, and the moment the flow of flower petals stopped, she stood up straight. She cursed under her breath, taking in as much air as she could into her lungs when her stomach churned again. She almost missed the toilet, spilling her stomach juices over the edge. The sight of the slimy dark-red contents of her stomach sent her into a state of desperation. All she could feel was the panic taking over as tears finally ran down her face. She fell to her knees when the flower petals stopped, and gripping for dear life to the toilet, she tried to take a deep breath, but as if that was a sign for her body to react, her stomach contracted, and she threw up again and again.

After what felt like an eternity, and as suddenly as it started, her body stopped shivering, and her stomach settled. Relieved to have a break, Gyuri backed away from the toilet and closed her eyes, trying to regain some of her self-control by counting. She was good at that, and she held unto that fact. She started from a hundred as she whipped the snot off her face, and by the time she reached the fifties, she had calmed down enough to rub the tears off her eyes as well. 

“Fifty-one.” She muttered to herself.

Gyuri looked around the bathroom, and her entire body trembled. There wasn’t that much of a mess as in her previous episodes, but seeing the red bile dripping from the toilet and spreading across the floor was too much for her to handle. She felt her stomach revolving again, and in a desperate effort to stop, she covered her mouth. 

“Fifty.”

She froze on the spot. 

“You have to keep counting.” Kyungsoo said, from the other side of the door, “forty-nine.”

Gyuri had stopped breathing by that point. She was too embarrassed and scared to react, even if she felt her chest about to explode.

“Forty-eight.” He said, despite her silence, “What’s next?”

“Go away,” She managed to gasp, but her body contracted again the moment she did that.

“Forty-seven.” He said instead.

Feeling more tears rolling down her face, she choked on her own words, unable to breathe and control the spam on her body.

“Gyuri, you can’t stop.” Kyungsoo ordered, even though his tone was gentle, “Forty-six.”

“For…” Gyuri tried even if it hurt her throat, “...ty…”

“Five.” He finished for her. “Forty…”

“F-four.”

“What’s next?” Kyungsoo asked, and he had never sounded so close and so calm. 

Gyuri closed her eyes and took a deep breath once again, hoping she could manage to gather herself together. She tried to focus on the cadence of his voice. She visualized him sitting next to her, close enough for her to feel the rhythm of his breathing so she could follow.

“Three,” She mumbled, reminding herself to exhale as much as she could, “Forty-three.”

“Keep going.” He added, and even though he couldn’t see her, Gyuri nodded before taking a deep breath.

“Forty-two.” She exhaled.

Gyuri heard him hum, and that little sound was enough for her to keep going. She kept counting, one number after the other, as she took deep breaths, filling her lungs with oxygen.

By the time she whispered number one, she was fully calmed, albeit exhausted. However, despite the tiredness, Gyuri reached for the handle and pulled the door open to find the writer sitting on the floor by the door. The light was off, which meant he had been sitting in the dark, talking to her through the door, and there were many things she wanted to tell him, but they just sat there in silence.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." She whispered after a while, "I was angry when I said that. I just don't know what is happening to me. This damned thing is making me…" She said, choking on her words, suddenly upset, "I feel like I'm losing my mind all the time."

Kyungsoo turned his head toward her, acknowledging her words but kept his eyes on the blackness of the dark room. He remained silent, as usual. His nonjudgemental silence gave her a chance to order her thoughts.

"I guess I was upset about what you said," Gyuri said, closing her eyes so she wouldn't shy away from what she needed to say.

"I shouldn't have."

"You had to," Gyuri added, pulling herself together, "You give me clarity, not just about what is happening inside me but in everything else, and I think that's why I got so angry when you just pointed out something I'm trying to ignore. Sometimes we all need to be called out on our crap." She explained, finally looking at him, "I'm sorry."

The writer nodded, accepting the apology, and when he finally moved to look at her, Gyuri saw nothing coming out of his eyes and wondered if it had to do with the darkness around him.

“He’s lucky that you love him." 

"Is he though? He didn’t even do anything.” Gyuri mumbled, realizing just how ridiculous the situation was. “He was just being his dumb self, my best friend, and I was stupid enough to fall for him.”

Gyuri found herself smiling at the idea. She smiled at the knowledge of how easy it was to fall for someone that felt so comfortable with her presence and lost herself imagining how different things could be if Baekhyun saw her as something more than a friend. She stopped before her imagination took over and found the writer was observing her. His eyes moved all over her face as if looking for something, and the attention made her realize she might have looked horrible and disgusting. Gyuri looked away, but all she could see was the aftermath of her miserable situation. She tried to get up, although her legs barely worked. Kyungsoo was next to her in the blink of an eye, helping her up. Too conscious of her state and the disgust she felt oozing off her skin, she covered her face, hiding the traces of what came out of her insides, and looked around the small bathroom for a hairband but was still too dazed to know for sure where to look. 

"I got it," Kyungsoo said, coming closer.

Stunned, or maybe still a bit hungover, dizzy, or even excited, Gyuri stayed still, looking at him through the reflection of the mirror as he brushed his fingers through her hair, pulling it all back. He didn't have to say anything. He gave her a nod, and Gyuri just followed the indication in silence.

She washed her mouth and then, on an impulse, her entire face and suddenly feeling beyond filthy, her neck all the while, the writer kept her hair from falling over her damped skin. Once done, she leaned back to find him looking at her, and Gyuri didn't know what to do next under his gaze. 

Kyungsoo finally let her hair fall to reach for a towel and hesitated before giving it to her. Too many different thoughts crossed her mind as she stood before him, holding the towel close to her chest and unable to move. Time slowed down to the point of stopping altogether, except for him and his figure coming closer and closer. His arm reached out for her, and she watched him leaning closer. All Gyuri could do was admire him, getting so close she thought could feel his heartbeat in the air around him.

His fingers never touched her skin, although she desperately wanted him to. She saw his hand brushing her hair, and instead of putting the strands behind her ear, she felt the subtle tug. She jolted at the sensation, only to notice that Kyungsoo pulled a dried flower petal off her hair. They stared at the deep red smudged petal breaking under the pressure of his fingers, and whatever excitement she felt was suddenly crushed just as easily as that petal. 

"I'll clean the rest." He whispered, dropping his arm.

Kyungsoo got himself out of the way, and feeling too hot, Gyuri practically bolted out of the stuffy bathroom. It was still raining outside, not as hard, but soft enough to calm her nerves. Gyuri wanted, desperately, to step out into the open and let the cold raindrops suffocate the fire she felt on her skin.

No one had ever looked at her like that. She replayed the moment in her mind and she wasn't even sure if she saw what she thought she saw. All she could think of was the intense look in his eyes, the sensation of his fingertips gracing the skin on the back of her neck, and the closeness… especially the closeness. He was so close she could see the stubble on his chin, the faint blemishes on his cheeks, and his wild brows. His lips. Gyuri had to close her eyes and breathe in and out, but too bothered by the thought, she let her arm out in the rain and let the towel dampen until she felt the frozen water droplets start trickling down her arm. 

Frustrated with herself, she wrung out the towel desperately and draped it over her face as if that could take the confusion away, but of course, it didn’t work. It only managed to clear her thoughts, and snapped her back to whatever happened the night before. She must’ve said something. There was no explanation as to why Kyungsoo would lean over so close to her. He just wouldn't do that. She refused to believe that. 

She remembered fragments of it. She could recall the same closeness that had her reduced to a bundle of nerves and the urge to say something important. There was something she wanted to tell Kyungsoo, and she could remember him asking about it. His expression shifted at the question, and his eyes stared straight into hers with a hopeful glint. He might've even been smiling a little bit, and his voice rang with a sudden expectation.

It wasn't a rare sight to her. They always thought they were discreet with their displays of affection and thought she never caught them, but she did. She grew up admiring the shared and secret smiles and the stolen kisses every morning before her father left for work quite sweet. The giggles and lighthearted conversation late at night when they talked about their day were just the sign of another good day in their family. She was used to the displays of affection. However, the silent tears they were shedding were out of the ordinary.

The sound of the door shut brought their attention back to her, and no force on earth could ever help her prevent her eyes from filling with tears as well. Her father was crying and unable to contain a sob; he walked to the threshold to wrapped her in a tight hug. 

“My pumpkin.” He cried, and the tightness of his arms around her shoulders broke her into pieces again.

Gyuri cried and cried. She let the fear take over her body, her mind, and her feelings. Caving into it, she let in the dread to devastate and destroy every hint of hope and peace she ever had. As she found herself in both of her parent's embraces, she just wanted the curse to take her body away and, to be over with it. She didn’t care. She did not even want to care anymore.

Her parents barely let her go, not even stay away from their sight for a second except for when she took a shower and got ready for bed. Gyuri ended up spending that night in their room like she always did when she was a little girl and was scared about the smallest of things. Feeling minuscule in the world and lost and gone in the dark, she cried herself to sleep between them as they cried along with her.

She must have been too drained to have any dreams or nightmares, although it wasn’t a peaceful night either. Waking up around midday, feeling just as tired, Gyuri came out to the kitchen to find her parents waiting at the table. There were cups of tea served, her father was reading the newspaper, which meant he must have asked the day off, and her mother seemed lost in her thoughts. They looked disheveled and out of place, just as she felt.

“Good morning.” She whispered, coming close to the table, and their heads turned around to her, their expressions visibly relaxing.

“Finally…” Her mother breathed out in relief, standing up, “we were getting worried.”

“Are you hungry, sweet pumpkin?” Her father said, setting the newspaper down and focusing on setting up her set of dishes on the table.

In a matter of minutes, Gyuri was seated in between her parents, having a late breakfast, and she couldn’t remember that last time she had a meal. Her father had to remind her a couple of times, stifling a laugh, that she had to slow down and take it easy if she didn’t want to choke. 

As lighthearted as the atmosphere was for a moment, it turned heavy when she finished her food. Gyuri wasn’t entirely comfortable about talking about the diagnosis yet. However, she was aware that her parents needed it. They needed to have something to hold onto.

“How do you want to handle all this?” Her father asked as he poured more tea into her cup, “your mother filled me in about yesterday’s appointment and Dr. Kim’s suggestions.”

“He even gave us some pamphlets.” Her mother added, reading through one with a deep and unconvinced frown.

“I threw up petals yesterday.” She confessed, and if the house felt already heavy and stuffy, it suddenly was even quieter, still, and desolated than before. “I guess I don’t even have six months anymore.”

Both of her parents lowered their heads, probably to hide their pained expressions, but she could hear their desolation. Listening to her mother’s muffled sobs and witnessing the subtle tremble in her father’s shoulders was more heartbreaking than she could ever imagine. Gyuri had nothing else to do but stay still, gripping her cup of tea, and waited for her parents to grief as she shed her fair amount of tears in silence.

“What do you want to do?” Her father asked after a while, sniffling as he wiped his tears.

“I don’t know.” She admitted, offering a napkin to him. “Can we keep it between us? At least until I figured it out.”

“Absolutely, pumpkin,” her father beamed, forcing a smile.

“Does that include that man?” Her mother asked, and Gyuri noticed the spite in her voice.

“Do you mean Baekhyun, mom?” She retorted, amazed at how easily her sentiments towards the guy changed.

“Pumpkin...”

“He can’t know,” Gyuri stated, her voice strong and steady, despite the mess inside her.

From all the questions and doubts, the fear and anxiety, one thing was not open to debate, and that was that Baekhyun could not find out about her illness. He couldn't know about her suffering, and even less, her eventually gruesome death. If she was sure of something, it was that she could never inflict that kind of burden on him, even if he was inadvertently responsible for her pain.

“He can never know.” She decided and stood up before her parents could protest. “I’ll be in my room.”

Gyuri locked herself in her room, in turmoil and reeling with questions and doubts. Despite all she knew, she had no idea what to do next. She wasn’t even entirely sure of how she was feeling most of the time, let alone having plans for the last months of her life.

Feeling her mood somber again, she opened up her laptop to indulge herself in the arms of the internet and its fatalist disposition. She lost track of time, jumping from patients' stories forums to medical journals with the latest results on vaccine research and then to blogs with reviews on the edge technology procedures. She paid particular attention to the Gardener Ritual, which was essentially a root removal surgery developed by Japanese scientists. The more she read and dug around about it, the more convinced she felt about how hopeless her situation was.

Surgery did not work. The roots could be successfully removed, but there was proof that the recovery stage was even more painful than the actual disease. However, it only took a glance of the beloved one to make the roots grow back again, faster and more lethal than before. In a blink of an eye, all the effort and money were thrown into the garbage. Gyuri didn’t even have the small fortune needed to get the procedure done. Surgery was not an option.

Some other theories seem more feasible. Gyuri could simply confess her true feelings, but it was proven that it only triggered the disease, and people ended up dropping dead right that instant. It was like shooting herself on the chest, hoping she would miss the heart. Confessing was not an option either.

Irritated, Gyuri shut her laptop closed and sulked in her chair. Thinking about everything and anything, she realized how angry she was at herself. She was beyond annoyed for not managing to compartmentalize her fear effectively and just focus on herself to enjoy what was left of her life. So what was she supposed to do? She had heard people talk about conquering the heart of that special person, but she couldn't wrap her head around that idea.

She has always been fidgety and almost mute, fighting her anxiety most of the time. It didn’t matter how kind and sweet Baekhyun was; he would never see her as anything else other than a little sister that needed his constant help. Gyuri didn’t have the guts to just fully and head on confessing her love for her best friend. She wasn't even his type. Baekhyun liked…she didn’t know for sure, but he dated only pretty and dumb girls. He had always been attracted to outgoing people that would keep up with his antics, unlike her.

Gyuri perked up. All of a sudden, she had an idea, as though a lightbulb appeared above her head. She had been too preoccupied with her situation, worried about the pain, considering all the possible cures for the damned disease, and Baekhyun’s taste in women that she didn’t realize the implications of what the ciabatta man said. 

If he was still alive after six years of catching that nasty curse, it meant he was outliving the disease. Plain and simple. Gyuri rushed out of her room to find her purse and everything else she had with her the previous night.

“Mom, where is my purse!?” Gyuri asked out loud, skipping the last two steps of the stairs, suddenly feeling unexpectedly excited.

“I put it back in your closet.” Her mother replied from the laundry room, “and the sandwich is in the fridge.”

Gyuri halted. She didn’t order a sandwich. She barely made it out alive of that place, let alone have time to order anything. Something minuscule in her chest softened when she opened the fridge and found the same paper bag the ciabatta man placed in front of her before leaving the restaurant. She couldn’t even recall carrying it back home.

The memory of the familiarity and comfort she felt from that man only made her rush back to her room, frantically looking for the book. Gyuri found herself smiling when she finally found it on one of the shelves of her closet.  

Sitting back at her desk, she threw the bag away, and almost as if it was sacred, placed the book in front of her. After a moment, she opened it to find the man's phone number on the first page, right below the dedication, and the words filled her eyes with tears. 

“To the ones the world seems to choose as undeserving of love.”

Never such a short sentence felt as accurate as of that one. Life indeed judged her and ruled her as undeserving. That simple notion shattered her heart into pieces, and looking at the several notes she wrote down and placed all over her desk, she realized she had to give up. 

Maybe he had an answer. Perhaps he had a tiny bit of hope to share with her, but the possibilities of her beating the curse as he did, were impossibly scarce. She realized then, staring at the digits of his phone number on the page of her book, that she didn't even know his name. He was a stranger, and how could she possibly expect him to help her out of this.

The doorbell of her house rang, and Gyuri almost jumped off her chair. Neither she nor her parents were expecting any visitors, but suddenly aware of the time, a sense of fear dawned on her. On instinct, she grabbed her phone, and not only did she get a new text, but found at least a dozen of unread messages, all from the same sender.

Why are you ignoring me?

Gyuri read the text, shivering at the meaning of that question as she went downstairs because she had one valid reason that was more than enough to want to avoid him. As if the dread of her fate wasn’t enough, she noticed the house was unusually and unsettlingly quiet, and that could only mean one thing.

Baekhyun was there.

Gyuri didn't have a chance. She couldn't even prepare herself to brace the situation. The man itself, the one that had her heart in a twist, found her in the living room, and her entire body reacted. Her every cell leaped, throbbed, and exploded just to see him.

It scared Gyuri that in a blink of an eye, she took in on every small detail about Baekhyun. She could tell that he was just out of work because he was wearing sneakers, baggy pants, and an oversized hoodie, and his hair was still somehow done.

Almost as if she had forgotten about the ever-present buzz of the curse in her chest, she heard it turning up as she did the smallest thing like just staring at his face; his pretty face that was. It went even louder when she saw the stricken lines across his expression and his thin and rosy lips pressed together.

Baekhyun had known her and her parents long enough to read the room and give them space. He knew when he had to step back and let her family work it through, even if it wasn’t something that happened often. This time, he looked back to the kitchen, nervously as if he was expecting something to happen, and then looked back at her sheepishly. 

“Is there something wrong?” Baekhyun asked quietly. He sat on the couch, making himself at home as usual. Although, for the first time since forever, he looked genuinely uncomfortable. “Your parents seemed a bit shaken, especially your mom.”

“Family stuff.” She muttered, still watching him from the same spot at the stairs.

Her heart was pounding. Her head ever so slightly spinning just to see him there. The sting was acting out again, flickering a little, coming and going from one side of her chest to the other, ready to burst through her mouth. Gyuri was afraid of making the slightest movement and triggering a symptom in front of him.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked, looking at her from the couch, and Gyuri had to look away.

The worry in his voice was palpable. The seriousness in his eyes and the subdued precaution in his movements were also genuine. This was the Baekhyun she fell for. The Baekhyun that took care of her. The one that worried about her wellbeing, the one that felt so close to her, she could call family.

Just to think about that, the sting buzzed harder, and Gyuri placed a hand over her chest, trying to help her heart to calm down. She still felt shattered and disgusted from the first coughing fit. She could not afford another one so soon and by no means in his presence.

Slowly and eyeing him as if he was a dangerous animal ready to attack, she walked around the couch and sat down on the other side, as far away from him as possible. In a matter of minutes, Baekhyun was sprawled over the couch as he watched a variety show. On any other day, he would have his head laying on her lap or they would simply share one of the pillows. None of that was happening that day. She was stiff and putting all of her strength in seating straight so the tip of his toes wouldn’t even brush her thigh. Gyuri couldn't dare herself to let any of that happen ever again.

Time went by, and eventually, Baekhyun moved around and was suddenly closer to her. His head was dangerously near her reach. She just stared at him and had never been that self-conscious and aware of him before. He was lost in whatever was happening on the screen, munching on sausages and cheese sticks only God knew how he produced out of nowhere. She just looked at him, chuckling at the lame jokes or mimicking the dialogues. As she kept on admiring him in silence, she remembered the first time they watched a movie together.

Gyuri wanted to slap herself on the face at her obliviousness. Now that she knew exactly what was creeping around her heart and lungs, she felt like an idiot for not noticing before.

Baekhyun had always been the one to initiate the contact aside from her parents. He was the one that hugged her for the first time and leaned into her, resting his head on her quite regularly. He was the one that pouted to her so they could snuggle on a winter movie night. She could vividly remember the way he ruffled her hair, the few drunken kisses on her cheeks, and every time he held her hand.

More than anything, she remembered her bashfulness whenever he was at her place. He would pout and throw tantrums because she never allowed him to be that close to her, let alone snuggle. At first, she told herself it was all appropriateness and decorum, even shyness, but that was all a lie. She watched him laugh loud enough to choke on one of the sausages and then realized that it was all proper infatuation. She saw a smile spreading on his features as he chuckled at himself and his dumbness, and she just knew she was already lost.

She never thought Byun Baekhyun could be the one that could have her reduced to a lame bundle of nerves and giddiness. Gyuri found herself smiling, and the longer she looked at him, the more she felt the sting softening. She could barely feel it at all, so she embraced the alleviation, as risky as it could be.

Gyuri lost herself admiring her best friend, his perfect profile, as his delicate hands kept pushing cheese sticks into his mouth. Not wanting to let her mind wander around that particular part of him, she distracted herself with his hair which looked different. She could see the highlights that weren’t there naturally and the several shades of brown perfectly done.

“Your hair is different,” Gyuri said to herself, her fingers instantly reaching out for a strand.

“Mina insisted I would rock the highlights,” He said casually, “do you like it?”

Gyuri’s arm froze just in time before she could touch his hair, and a rush of irritation spread across her body, covering her limbs and mind. The pain was back and thumping against her rib cage. She didn’t even have a clue of who Mina was, but the dreadful wave that her body fell into was enough indication that whoever that was meant soreness to her core. She had to look away and focus herself on something else other than the pain. 

“Are you sure everything is alright?” He suddenly asked without drawing his eyes off the screen, but she knew well enough that his attention was on her, “You've been weird lately.”

“I’m fine.” She retorted, suddenly annoyed and practically boring holes in the center of the screen.

“Was it the grumpy little man that upset you?” He asked, and she glared at him, rolling her eyes at the annoying smirk displayed on his face. “How was the movie?”

“What movie?”

“The one you guys went to see...” He wanted to know, and this time, the smugness was gone and replaced by something she couldn’t tell what it was, “How come you never told me about him?”

Assuming that Baekhyun’s observation had to do with something the ciabatta man mentioned the day before, Gyuri remained silent and made a mental note to ask him about it later. She played along with that, and refocusing on the screen, she shrugged innocently but deep down, her heart broke a little more. 

Just like he never mentioned he was dating again, Gyuri desperately wanted to ask the same and reproach him for keeping that piece of information from her. Just to think about it made her stomach churn and her head spin, despite her efforts. She didn't have it in her to be like that.

“How was the doctor’s appointment by the way?” He changed the subject.

Baekhyun tried to sound cool, but she could recognize the edge in his voice even with the variety show blasting through the screen. Gyuri refused to fall into that sound even if everything in her desperately wanted to look around and just stare at him and his touching interest.

“It looks like you still have that nasty cough. I hope the new meds can get rid of it.” He pointed out, “Is that why your parents look tired?” 

As if the question itself made him realize something, Baekhyun sat up. Crossing his legs, he positioned himself closer so he could look at her better and not miss a thing.

“Is everything alright?” He asked again, leaning ever so slightly to observe her intently.

Gyuri cowered under his piercing gaze as his eyes went around her face looking for the truth. While he stared at her so thoroughly, she had to gather every ounce of willpower to lie. Although she wasn’t expecting it to be so hard and even more so, so painful. If she was expecting to keep him in the dark about her impending death, she had to try really hard. 

Gulping the knot that threatened to come up her throat, Gyuri managed to nod in response, and Baekhyun simply squinted his eyes at her, not entirely convinced. She would normally try to convince him with a well-thought and articulated argument. But as things were revolving inside her chest, doing something as simple as opening her mouth meant a high risk of uncovering the truth. She couldn't afford that.

For what felt like the longest seconds in history, Baekhyun gave up, and with a nod, he laid back down on the couch again. Gyuri almost let out a sigh of relief. She managed to dodge his worried questions, but the uneasiness oozing off him was more than obvious. For starters, he wasn't comfortable anymore. His phone resting on his chest kept buzzing every few seconds, making his leg bounce more in impatience.

For the entirety of the runtime of the tv show, Baekhyun ignored the device that didn’t seem to stop buzzing. She knew he wasn’t paying attention to it nor to whatever was going on on the screen. Her best friend being there simply to watch some random variety show was only an excuse to be at her place and dig around. He was insistent, and whatever the ciabatta man told him the day before wasn’t enough to satisfy his curiosity.

“I have to go.” Baekhyun said, standing up as if the couch was on fire, “I have to pick up Mina.”

As in daze and taken aback by the abrupt end to the visit, Gyuri followed her friend as he walked back to the front door. He was leaving just as suddenly as he arrived, which was out of the ordinary. Baekhyun never missed the chance to spend as much time as he could at her place, especially if it meant staying for dinner.

“Will you ever tell me what's going on?” He suddenly asked, turning around to look straight into her eyes.

“Tell you what?” Gyuri squeaked, genuinely taken by surprise and standing on her toes as she barely managed to stop her momentum and crash against his chest. 

She heard the buzz of his phone on his hand, and that made him resume his way to the door, but Baekhyun wasn't ready to leave yet. He opened the door and halted there, looking at her. Gyuri realized then the importance of this peculiar visit.

Her efforts and the ciabatta man's lies were not enough to fool Baekhyun. She wasn't nearly as good as she thought to hide her symptoms and afflictions in front of him, and of course, he was there, ready to offer his hand and help nonetheless.

“You know you can always talk to me, do you?” He added, reluctantly stepping out of the house, just waiting for her to open up. “If you ever need help.”

Gyuri nodded, unable to do more and not wanting anything else but for him to finally leave so she could breathe again. However, everything turned for the worst when he leaned closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

The world was suddenly upside down.

His fragrance. His warmth. The safety of his embrace. Gyuri felt it all just as overpowering as she felt having her face pressed so softly, so delicately, and so shielded against the crook of his neck. The sensation of his hand on her back was so steady and firm that for a split second, she forgot herself.  

"Call me if anything happens." He whispered before letting her go.

Baekhyun gave her a small and comforting smile, and just like that, as soon as he showed up, he was gone. Gyuri closed the door, and the world around her instantly seemed to collapse and crush her along with it. She heard her mother’s trembling voice calling her and her father's closeness amid her dizziness.

“I’m fine,” Gyuri replied with a croak, not realizing how hard it was to breathe, let alone talk.

Her father was holding her, barely keeping her straight and standing on her feet. Her mother showed up in front of her, tears falling down her face as she struggled to open the tin can the ciabatta man gave her the day before. 

“How are you feeling, pumpkin?” He asked, handing her a couple of candies.

“It’s fine.” She lied, her insides twisting again, “I’m fine, I just need to rest.”

Gyuri was far from alright. She needed a lot more than just rest, but she wasn't strong enough to acknowledge that yet, at least not her parents, and untangling herself from her father's grasp, she forced her legs to go to her room. Gyuri mumbled empty promises as she muted her mother's cry and ignored her father's protests. Almost blinded by the tears, she finally reached her room.

Locking the door behind her, Gyuri fell to the floor, letting the pain take over again and squash her heart until she had no more tears to shed. She dragged herself to her desk and grabbed the book. Rubbing her hands against her eyes to stop the tears from falling and the sting from spreading, she saved the number on her phone and wrote the text that hopefully could take some of her pain away. 

She felt something shift inside her, tightening ever so softly around her heart, and her hand went straight to her chest, only to realize that she couldn't do anything against the sensation.

“I'm so sorry! You should have ordered something while you waited.” Baekhyun grumbled with a subtle and quite remorseful pout.

But none of those words, no matter how genuine they were, were registered by Gyuri. With her eyes locked in Baekhyun’s tight hold around the girl’s hand, and his delicate fingers intertwined through hers. That was everything her attention could see.

“By the way, this is...” Baekhyun started happily, letting the girl’s hand go to nudge her forward as if he'd decided Gyuri wasn't paying enough attention to what he was saying. “...Do you remember I told you, right? 

He didn't tell her. 

Gyuri merely stared at Baekhyun, racking her brain to remember if he ever said anything about any woman, and he didn't. He always made it feel like he confided in her, but she realized that was all a lie. 

He did not.

“She finally agreed to go out with me,” Baekhyun announced, smiling shyly and his cheeks turning rosy in an instant.

Everything inside her suddenly split up. A part of her was utterly mesmerized by the sight of his flushed face. She couldn't deny the bashful glint in his eyes as he admitted it. The other part, simply breaking apart. 

Her heart throbbed, and her eyes watered, but all those feelings were weak to the twist and churn her stomach did, that she had to cover her mouth, afraid of throwing up. The bodily response against the sight was so sudden, Gyuri had to close her eyes to keep herself together.

“Can you believe this girl?” Baekhyun kept on, either not paying attention to her reaction or not caring at all, “She says I'll annoy her to death.”

The back of her throat itched, making her cough instantly as if she was choking on something, and it didn’t matter how much Gyuri tried to clear it and stop the coughing fit; her stomach kept spasming until she felt something coming up. She began to breathe harder, almost wheezing because whatever it was, it was getting stuck in the middle of her esophagus, plugging her pipes and preventing her from getting more air into her lungs.

“Woah! Are you alright?” Baekhyun asked, finally forgetting about his whiny rant.

It didn’t help Gyuri though, hearing the genuine concern in his voice only made it worse. That question alone made her cough hard enough to gag, and she realized there was no hope. He cared. She might have irremediably fallen for him because he genuinely cared.

“There you are,” A deep, unwavering, and yet soft voice echoed amid her pain. “They forgot to pack your sandwich.”

In the blurriness of her tears, Gyuri saw a brown paper bag, which she recognized was for take-outs, getting placed in front of her, but it was the voice that stopped the fit for a fleeting moment. It wasn't just the gentleness of his voice but also how his manly hand landed straight against the middle of her back, rubbing steady circles that somehow managed to ease the cough.

Gyuri didn’t have to raise her eyes to know the ciabatta man was back, as she would never in a lifetime forget a voice like his, but she did anyway, and she found him there. It was the moment he kneeled next to her and to her eye level that stirred Baekhyun up from the surprise.

“Who the hell are you?” Baekhyun shot with a scowl.

“A friend.” Gyuri saw the man answer as she fixated on the movement of his mouth.

“She doesn't have any friends.” Her best friend defended. 

Gyuri closed her eyes again, feeling the piercing on her skin just about everywhere in her body, and amid the fogginess of her pain, she heard Baekhyun gasp at the hurtful meaning of his own words.

“I'm an asshole.” He added, and even if she couldn't even look at him, she knew he was talking directly to her. “You know that is not what I meant.”

“You’re an hour late, and we made plans.” The ciabatta man added.

His voice was steady and stripped of any emotion, and when Gyuri looked at him, he was back on his feet and offering her his hand. She didn't know what came over her nor why she did it, but she took his hand and held onto him for dear life.

Baekhyun gasped. 

Gyuri was sure she saw his eyes going wide in surprise for no other reason than she was holding the hand of a man that wasn't him, or her father. The frown that showed up on his features was unmistakable, and somehow, upsetting him made the pain even worse. The pressure thumping against her ribs was getting stronger with every second she stayed in his presence. 

Suddenly shivering, Gyuri coughed one more time and felt her skin getting covered in goosebumps. Wheezing and staggering as her surroundings shifted once again, she choked on something. 

“What the hell?” Gyuri whimpered as she spat out something slimy off her tongue.

She went still. For a split second, Gyuri thought she was choking on her own blood, but her eyes blurred with tears when she realized she had a single, bright red flower petal all smudged and stuck to her hand. 

Gyuri couldn't stop the certainty of her fate take over and crush her. She lost all strength and collapsed, but a strong arm was around her just as fast and supporting her as she moved forward. The pain creeping its way through her body was so sudden and so sharp, it made her gag again, and not even when she clasped her hand over her mouth was enough to stop the ample flow of nauseating beauty that came out off her.

The arm secured around her body managed to lead her to a lonely alley and held her trembling figure as she convulsed over a corner, throwing up and choking on the beautiful bright red flower petals.

“Don’t fight back.” He whispered.

The authority and confidence in his voice had no room for discussion, and her body followed the instruction of its own will, and she was suddenly limp in his arms as the flowers kept on overflowing from her mouth to all the surface of the floor.

What happened at the restaurant was all blurry in Gyuri's mind, and she couldn't certainly tell how long it had been since then. All she knew was that she was crying as silently as one could, that she wished someone could just rip her heart out and that she felt beyond embarrassed that someone might see her in that state.

She didn't allow her mind to wander farther away from those thoughts and focused herself on the ciabatta man, on the tight hold of his arm around her waist that kept her together in one piece, the fact that he never let her go and that he was leading her somewhere.

It was after a long while when Gyuri regained control of herself and was aware of her surroundings. She was seated on a park bench with her knees up to her chest. She'd stopped crying at some point, and the man was still there. 

He had his hands on his lap and was just as silent as she was breaking down. Not prying into anything, he just sat there, seemingly enjoying the fresh air. He would steal a few glances at her every once in a while, and when she coincidentally met his gaze, he finally moved to open up a plastic bag and bring out a water bottle and wet wipes.  

By just seeing him place the items in the gap between them made Gyuri realize how disgusting she felt. She was suddenly aware of how thirsty she was, how irritated her throat felt, and how gross the overpowering sweet aftertaste of the flower petals was that she had her stomach churn once again. As if he could read her mind, he opened the water and wet wipes for her.

Once she concentrated on rinsing the aftertaste off her mouth and cleaned her tear-stricken face, she realized where she was exactly. The man brought her there, but little did he know. That particular place was like another cruel nail piercing through her heart. 

That was one of Baekhyun’s favorite parks. He usually dragged her up there every once in a while to walk and exercise. Of course, they never exercised as intended, but the conversations they had there were the ones Gyuri remembered the most.

“What are your plans for the future?” He asked one day as they walked side by side. “I've been meaning to ask you for a while now.”

A new set of tears fell down her eyes at the memory. Back then, she was proud of her confident reply and the hopeful list of all the things she wanted to do. The picture looked way somber now. Suddenly, all of her plans seemed tiny and ridiculous, but that wasn’t what he thought then.

“As expected, my lovely Gyuri is the one with everything sorted out,” Baekhyun said, letting out a sigh. “I want to be like you when I grow up.”

A new wave of commotion invaded her when she remembered that day. She could feel, all over again, how proud and weirdly happy she felt hours later when Baekhyun dropped her back at home; of course not before spending a couple of hours more seated in his car, just talking about their lives and their hopes in the future.

Her cell phone buzzing in her pocket brought her attention back to the gloomy park, and when she fished the device out and unlocked it, she found several missed calls and a few unread messages, all from Baekhyun.

In one text, he demanded to know what happened. In another one, he kindly asked her to explain if she left because she was upset with him. In the third one, he only asked if he did anything wrong, and finally, the last one was a short apology. He didn’t mention what exactly he was apologizing for, but the apology was there.

“That's the problem.” She muttered to the man sitting next to her, while the one that had her heart in a twist; practically nagged her through the screen of her phone. “He does care.”

“Is he worth it though?”

Gyuri’s head snapped up to look at the ciabatta man. The harsh tone didn’t match the selfless care in which he had been helping her out, but the seriousness in his expression was as clear as water. Was Baekhyun worth her life?

She didn't know the answer to that. The ciabatta man talked about letting her life and aspirations slip right between her fingers because of a man. Apparently, she loved that man enough to be the case, but she wasn't entirely sure. Dying for a beloved one seemed like the epitome of romanticism, but now that the threat was real, she didn't feel that fond of the idea.

Just like he had been doing before, the ciabatta man didn’t pry any further. The two of them stayed in heavy silence as people around them, unaware of the tragedy of her situation, kept walking around, drinking coffees, holding hands, running with their pets, and laughing as if the world wasn’t falling apart.

“Why are you reading this?” The man asked after a while, pulling her new book out of the bag.

Gyuri shrugged. It seemed lame to her to accept that she hoped to find an answer in D.O.’s words, so she just stayed quiet as the ciabatta man read the back of the book with a furrowed crease on his thick brows and a sort of annoyance that was interesting. It picked her interest, but she wasn’t brave enough to dig into that. Knowing that particular piece of information felt too personal for her to ask, even if he had already seen her in the worst situation possible, so she went for something she felt the right to know, like the true motivation behind his help.

“Why are you helping me?” She asked instead, studying the perfect profile of the man, “We are strangers.”

The truth behind her own words hit her like a brick. They were strangers. She never talked to strangers. She didn't even know his name, and she was talking to him. Stuff like that never really happened before, at least not if Baekhyun wasn't around.

Realizing her new situation, she felt her throat clasping, and she opened her mouth to soften the blow of her rude question, but what came out of her was nothing but a soft screeching sound like it always happened when her anxiousness got to the best of her. At least the sound was loud enough to catch his attention.

“Are you alright?” He asked, looking at her with a renewed interest.

She nodded, and even though he didn’t look convinced and hesitated for a second, the man nodded and diverted his gaze away. Gyuri found the consideration having a weird effect on her, and her throat relaxed in response almost instantly.

“You don't seem like the type of person that deserves this kind of pain.” He added, bringing a pen out of his coat.

A fancy pen, Gyuri recognized, just as fancy as his coat and the overall bearings of the man, and she just observed him open the book and scribble something down.

“My phone number.” He said as he closed the book and put it back in its bag.

Gyuri blinked at the book store's bag when he gave it back to her, and for an instant, she wanted to hold his hand again. She felt the urge to reach unto the safety and steadiness of his warm skin.

“You can call me if you ever have a hard time with this.” He continued, letting the bag go and standing up, ready to leave. “As I said, I know the feeling.”

Gyuri wished she could speak freely to him and couldn't do anything else but stare at him, waiting for him to take the hint that she was listening. Gladly, he seemed to be smart enough to read between the lines of her silence and, more importantly, to be willing to oblige, even for a second.

“She was a schoolmate,” he started, “but of course, she liked someone else.”

The ciabatta man said with a shrug, looking like he gave up a long time ago, and there was nothing Gyuri could say about it. Unreciprocated love was all the same to everyone. You loved someone that didn’t love you back, and that was it. There wasn’t anything intricate about it. It didn’t matter who you were, the cause was the same. The outcome was still also the same, and the heaviness of that notion squeezed her heart just at the same time as the ciabatta man turned around to walk away.

“I’m scared.” She sobbed, reaching out for him and grabbing his hand, stopping him from leaving, “Aren't you scared of dying?” 

Gyuri felt herself breaking down again as tears rolled down her face, and the pain stinging in her chest pulsed with every emotion. She was at a loss of anything to hold into for safety. Other than his warm and soft hand, she had no other option but to plead to him for an answer.

“How are you not scared?” She asked.

Her eyes did not open. She struggled as if someone had glued her eyelids together. She tried to rub whatever was keeping her from opening her eyes, but something rough scratched the skin around her eyes, making her wince. She tried again, whimpering in desperation, until that voice and that warmth she had become so dependent on reached her.

“Wait a second,” he said in a gentle tone she found so assuring. “I’ll do it for you.”

She relaxed just a little, waiting for him, unable to see what he was doing until something hot rubbed her eyes. She let out a little squeak, taken by surprise by the sudden heat. He was gentle, removing whatever kept her eyes closed, although she disliked the sensation of pealing something off her skin.

Once the surprise of waking up was gone and she waited patiently for the writer to work around her eyes, she finally noticed her own lack of movement. She tried a tiny bit of movement, aware of how much it hurt before, but nothing in her body seemed to get the signal. She couldn’t move. There was something heavy on her back, hindering any type of movement.

“I’m almost done.” He whispered, noticing her squirming in discomfort, “Gyuri, calm down.”

“Where—“ She wanted to ask, but her throat hurt with a coarse burning.

Before he could clean her eyes completely, her desperation got the best of her, and she snapped her eyes open. The sunlight blinded her momentarily, making her wince again, and everything around her was suddenly dark. He called her name with a tone that infuriated her more, and the more he did, the more she could feel his hands touching her, trying to calm her down.

“You’re safe, Gyuri,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re safe now.”

As if his words had some sort of power, whatever panic had her on edge disappeared, and she was finally aware of her body. It was his closeness that seemed to help her settle, his lips peppering her skin with the softest of comforts, and his hand pressing hers against his chest where she could hear his steady heart.

Gyuri eventually calmed down, engulfed in his embrace, and for a moment, she wanted to stay like that forever. It was the instant that she tried to move again that brought her back to reality.

“Am I dead?”

“No.”

And then silence. He pulled away, taking all of the comfort with him, and the dark and round eyes that found her were even worse, if that was possible. She saw his jaw clench and blink. Kyungsoo was there, and once again, he was the witness to her lowest point.

“You have to tell him.” He said, “Gyuri, Baekhyun needs to know.”

Gyuri flinched at the words. The sweetness that just minutes earlier could’ve saved her from doom was now dry and gone. He didn’t even look at her in the eyes, and she stared at him dumbfounded, wondering if she was actually dead. A living Kyungsoo would never say such a thing. He would never meddle in her business about the curse. He never had.

“He knows something's wrong.” He kept on, his fingers anxiously fidgeting with her hand. “He's looking for you and is bombarding your parent's phones with calls and texts. He won't stop until he knows.”

If she wasn’t dead, she must’ve been dreaming because the words that came out of his mouth couldn’t be true.

“Don't make them lie for you.” He begged in a whisper.

She wasn’t dreaming. The strength of his hands holding her let her know. The warmth of his skin was too overwhelming for her mind to simulate. So the writer himself, Do Kyungsoo, was indeed asking her to do the very first thing she decided to avoid. He, the one who had been with her from the beginning, was meddling. He was trying.

She pulled her hand away, making him finally look at her, and for an instant, a hint of anger flashed across his eyes. He stepped away, and what she saw rattled her core. He looked exhausted, his clothes splattered in blood. So it hadn’t been that long since she collapsed.

"Don't," she croaked, refusing to believe that he would even ask.

“Gyuri, you have to.”

“No.”

“He doesn't hate you.” He argued back, his eyes glistening. “Why would he spend an entire hour knocking at your door and waiting for you or your parents to come back?”

Gyuri shook her head, unable to talk and feeling her eyes watering. He asked again. He pleaded under his breath, his voice cracking, and she refused once again. She felt her face burn in anger. If she didn’t tell Baekhyun before, what made the writer believe she would tell him now that she was a step away from her impending doom? 

Did she say all that out loud? She didn’t know, but his face was twisted in frustration. Kyungsoo closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. What she never expected was for him to change. The Kyungsoo who opened his eyes was a much harsher and less patient man. His eyes hardened, looking at her with nothing but emptiness, and Gyuri shivered at the coldness that followed his words.

“Just know that you’re killing him just as slowly.”

With that, he pressed the red button on the panel board next to the bed. The buzz of an alarm distracted her, and soon the room buzzed with activity. Her parents came in, gushing over her, crying, and showering her with love. As horribly upset as she felt, she just couldn’t push them away. She bit back the annoyance and let them shed their tears in peace.

Once the mood settled and her mother stopped crying, Gyuri heard someone come into the room. She was lying down on her side, so she couldn’t see who it was, and when the male greeted everyone present, she couldn’t recognize the voice. Then she saw the man in the impeccably white coat show up in her peripheral vision, and the face was awfully familiar, but Gyuri couldn’t tell where it came from.

“Hello, Gyuri,” The man said with a tender white smile that was charming. “I’m Dr. Kim Junmyeon, and I’ll be looking out for you from now on.” 

That name rang a bell in her memory, and she observed the doctor as he walked around the bed where she was lying, trying to connect the dots. It was not until he stood right in front of her and bowed his head to her that Gyuri finally recognized him. He was beautiful. She always marveled at how handsome he looked on the brochure but never thought he would be so overwhelmingly beautiful in the flesh. She even wondered if she was still dreaming.

“Wait, you’re the researcher.” Gyuri pointed out, struggling to keep the astonishment out of her voice, "You’re the head of the Korean WHO division and the youngest doctor in the entire organization.”

“I see you did your homework.” He said this, trying to keep his smile small and not blind her with his beauty.

“It was one of those days.” She replied with a shrug.

Gyuri meant to make it sound lighthearted, but the doctor barely smiled in response. He nodded in agreement, probably highly aware of what she meant, and pulled a light pen out of his coat instead and held it in front of her eyes.

"Where am I? What's this place?" She asked as he directed her to follow the light left and right.

"A precaution." Dr. Kim said, turning the light pen off and putting it back in his coat pocket. "Kyungsoo got this place in case the disease came back for him. He got all the equipment and staff ready on standby."

The doctor gave her a meaningful look. He knew just how crazy what he said was, and Gyuri heard her mother gasp in surprise. If her parents didn’t know already, they knew now. The secret was out, and she felt bad for the writer. He just kept giving out parts of himself and the privacy of his life to accommodate her wellbeing.  

“How are you feeling?” The doctor asked, his polite smile going away.

And she hated everything about that question. She couldn’t even tell where she was exactly, and she was expected to tell the kind doctor how she felt. She didn’t know. She had never known for sure, and it was so hard to come up with the right words that Gyuri got so worked up that a machine started beeping out of control.

“Relax,” he said, placing his hand gently over her shoulder. “There are no wrong answers to this; just tell me how you feel. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense right now.”

The doctor’s word helped. She relaxed, but not enough to actually bring out an answer from her, and seemingly aware of that, Dr. Kim never lost his patience. His entire posture remained serious yet gentle. Gyuri suspected that there was nothing she could say that would make the doctor stumble.

“Are you in pain?” He asked, and she nodded. “What does it hurt?”

“Everything.”

“What about your back?” He said, looking away from her face to her back, making her feel self-conscious of what she couldn’t see, “Your parents told me they heard it snap.”

“I can feel my legs.” She said this, focusing all of her attention on her legs.

“You can?” He said, with a curious pout, “Can you feel this?”

Dr. Kim disappeared from her view for a moment, and Gyuri felt a pinch on the sole of her foot. She automatically jolted in surprise, making her and the doctor chuckle.

“I can move my toes too.” She said, wiggling her toes, which earned a pleased smile from the doctor.

“Well, that’s good!”

“I felt something break, though.” She wondered, trying to move her torso, but once again, she couldn’t.

“That should have been your back, but you just proved me wrong.” He said and for a split second, she watched as his eyes furrowed in worry. “We took some x-rays while you were unconscious.”

Gyuri didn’t like the tone in his voice. It was the same expression the other Dr. Kim had when he delivered the grave news of her diagnosis months ago. She watched the young doctor pull a white frame equipped with wheels out and place it in front of her. He placed the x-rays up on the screen and lit them up, revealing part of her squeleton.  

“This is what came up.” The doctor said, pulling a rolling stool in between her bed and the light frame, “It was impossible to tell if there was any damage to your spine.”

She suspected as much. Gyuri wasn’t knowledgeable in the slightest when it came to the human body, but she knew what a normal squeleton should look like. What the x-rays were showing wasn’t normal. Not only the white and whirling lines that had sprouted through her body were as unseatling as the white mass that went from her hips up to her shoulder plates. Whatever that was, it couldn’t be normal. Something had invaded her torso, and it made sense why she couldn’t move.

“What’s on my spine?” She asked, watching the x-rays in disbelief.

“It is not on it.” He said, sitting closer to her, “That is your spine.”

Gyuri had no chance to react. She heard her mother, somewhere in the room, burst into tears and her father comforting her. It was just as bad as she thought, and she couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down the side of her face. She never thought she would stay alive to see something like this happen to her body, and a wave of desperation urged her to move. She tried to get up, to stand up, and to make sure it wasn’t real, but the doctor stopped her, assuring her that he was there to answer her every question.

“Just tell me, no lies.” She said, her voice trembling in fear to hear the answer, “What’s exactly happening to me?”

“Are you aware of the several types of flower corpses?” He asked.

Gyuri has seen the pictures. On one of those bad days, she just let her sadness take her to a dark and morbid place as she watched hundreds of pictures of corpses. She’d seen the ones that had the stem protruding from their mouths, or the mounds of flower petals and juices. 

“Which one am I turning into?” She asked, trying her best not to succumb to the desperation while her mother kept silently crying in the background, “By the dahlia flowers that invaded my house, I’m assuming I’ll be covered in some kind of ground bush, right?”

“It’s more complicated than that.” The doctor said, getting himself more comfortable in the small stool, although his expression remained just as serious, “You have a variant of the Hanahaki disease that is extremely rare. The stem won’t come out of your mouth as any other case does, nor will you throw up so many petals that you’ll disintegrate or get covered in grass.”

“What are you trying to say?” Her mother asked, finally coming closer to where the doctor was talking to Gyuri, “What will happen to her?”

Dr. Kim brought out a tablet and showed Gyuri the gallery with what looked like hundreds of pictures of her back. The bruises were gone, and her breath got stuck in the knot in her throat at the sight of her skin split open, red, bleeding, and alive, and the rough edges of something dark protruding through her flesh right between her shoulder blades. No wonder she could barely move.

“What you see there are crusts covering what is growing from your back.” The doctor explained, "We believe this is the stem of the plant you're turning into, and it will be quite a painful transformation.”

Overwhelmed by the news, Gyuri turned the tablet off and handed it to the doctor. She noticed in the motion that her knuckles were not just hurting with the scratches of her own nails; the wounds were bigger and more horrible. The very same thing that was growing on her back was now also sprouting through the skin of her hands. That was what hurt her eyes when she tried to scratch them open. 

“Your joints hurt, right?” The doctor kept on with the explanation. 

“It feels like they’re glued to each other.” She replied, trying to move her fingers, although she found it harder than she thought.

“They kind of are.” Dr. Kim agreed, taking her hand in his to point out the scabs around the rough edges of the wounds. “Your ligaments are hardening and will eventually become sapwood. Your skin isn’t just drying up. It is solidifying into bark.”

Everything went still. As if sensing Gyuri needed a minute to put her thoughts together, the doctor stayed quiet, observing her reaction, and she appreciated the brief break. She needed it as her brain went overboard with the recollections of everything she had ever felt in the last few months. Finally, every symptom—the stiffness in her back, her knees and heels hurting and stopping working out of nowhere, the insane amounts of moisturizer and body cream—made sense.

“I’ll become a tree, you say.” Gyuri finally said out loud, letting the idea sink in.

“Essentially.” He agreed, giving her a small smile full of emotion.

“I’ve never heard of that before.”

“That’s because your case might be one in billions.” He said, looking at the x-rays with a frown, “I’ve never heard of a case like yours registered since the breakout.”

“Wow, so it turns out I’m actually special.” Gyuri chuckled at the irony of the entire situation, but the comment had the opposite reaction, making her mother burst into a crying fit again. “Mom, I’m joking. Don’t cry; I was joking!”

“That’s not something you joke about.” Her mother argued back, but her father was by her side.

“Why don’t we let our pumpkin talk to the doctor alone?” He said, embracing his wife and slowly walking away.

Gyuri and the doctor watched her parents leave the room as her mother kept on complaining about her lack of seriousness. As much as it hurt to see them suffering, a part of her warmed at the immense love she felt for them and their well-meaning concern. Then she caught the doctor observing the x-rays again, and she couldn't come up with an accurate read on his expression.  

“What do you need then?” She asked, bringing his attention back to her, “You’ve been studying this disease your entire career, and I happen to be a one in a billion case. I’m extraordinary, am I?”

“That’s right, you’re extraordinary.” He said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and be at her eye level. “But I’m more concerned about making it less painful.”

“Thank you, but I’m dying already.” She said, thinking in all the moments she wished everything could be over. “Whether you do a couple of experiments or not, I’ll die either way.”

“I’m sorry.” Dr. Kim said it with genuine concern.

“Don’t be. I am the fool who fell in love.”

“Falling in love isn’t foolish, Gyuri.” He said with such seriousness that Gyuri felt exposed under the doctor’s eyes. 

“Tell that to my heart.” She laughed, trying to deflect the intensity of his words, but regretted it instantly when her chest hurt. “Will it help anyone?”

“Any sample from you would give us new clues to follow the main strand of the disease.” He said, sitting straight, that it felt like the doctor was getting in a better mood just by talking about it. “That might be the key to finding a way to stop the cellular corruption, or at least an answer to how it actually works.”

“What did Kyungsoo’s samples tell you?” She asked, her mind feeling more and more alive as time went by. "Oh, I'm sorry; I shouldn't have asked."

"Don't worry," Dr. Kim said, waving his hands, and Gyuri just looked at him in absolute awe at the brightness of his smiling face and his eyes turning in the smallest crescent moons. “I wasn't on the case; I was still a student back then, and he didn’t let them take any samples.” 

“Why?” She wanted to know.

Gyuri wasn’t sure if it was alright to ask such a question. The young doctor was suddenly lost in his thoughts. He crossed his legs, and she was sure she could almost hear his mind working at full speed.  

“Back then, no one had the right equipment to run any proper test, except maybe for the Japanese.” He said, his hands resting on his knees, and for a split second, the man looked a lot younger. “And not even them. People were dropping dead like flies, and no one knew where to go. If you wanted a shot at getting tested, that meant submitting your name to the long waiting lists in the hopes of getting a chance. He didn’t want any of that.”

“It does sound scary.” Gyuri mumbled, remembering the chaos reigning on those days.

“It isn’t like that anymore.” Dr. Kim added with a proud smile, “You’d be surprised by the number of tests I can run right in this complex just with a tube of your blood.”

“Let’s do it then.”

Something in the atmosphere changed. The young doctor sat up straight again and looked at her with a curious glint in his eyes that made Gyuri wonder if there was something wrong, but at the same time, she had never been more sure of anything in her life. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, “Are your parents aware of what you want?” 

“They’re not exactly happy, but yeah. They’re okay with it.” She replied, recalling that her mother just burst into tears not that long ago but knew she ultimately wouldn’t object to her wishes. 

“You’re extremely brave for doing this.”

“That’s not something people tell me often.” She chuckled, making the doctor smile with such an immense amount of compassion that Gyuri had to look away. “But it’s fine; I guess it won’t hurt more than it already does.”

“We’ll do our best to make it as comfortable as possible,” Dr. Kim assured, finally standing up and making a sign somewhere behind her back. “This is Kim Jongdae; he’ll be your nurse, and I’ll leave you to him so he can explain what will happen from here on."

As if on cue, a young man stepped into her view, pushing a cart, and with a wide smile across his face, he introduced himself again. Gyuri felt suddenly out of place. She thanked the doctor, but he was already walking away, and she stumbled on her words when the nurse asked her something. 

"Are you comfortable with me being around you?" He asked, working on the fluid bag hanging next to the bed, "I'll have to give you a bath eventually."

Gyuri couldn't hide the surprise or the embarrassment burning in her cheeks. She was so taken aback by the sudden prospect of a man giving her a bath that she felt her words getting stuck in her throat, which only managed to make the young male nurse chuckle in amusement.

"Don't worry about it; there will be a female nurse around for that." He said, pulling the rolling stool next to her bed, "I'll be too busy assisting Dr. Kim anyway."

The relief was instant. Gyuri couldn’t hide it, and the sigh of relief felt louder than ever. The young nurse looked at her from his clipboard and subjected her to the biggest pout she had ever seen. The little noise of disbelief was adorable, and even his brows moved as if on their own, making the nurse’s entire face contract.

“Your loss," he said, holding on to his pout. “I give very good sponge baths.”

The nurse sulked in his place, and Gyuri couldn’t help it; she chuckled at the pout and the almost childish little whine. It was impossible that someone older than her could look so adorable on command. 

“There it is! Such a beautiful smile.” He perked up, mirroring her smile, and said, "Now I’ll explain some of the equipment that we'll use with you."

As if by magic, Gyuri felt calm and relaxed in the presence of the new stranger who would take care of her. She felt at ease enough to welcome his every explanation and even snicker at every other little joke the man threw at her for the next hour.

***

Kyungsoo left the room on a whim. He stormed out, angry and frustrated, but he had nowhere else to go. He had been sitting in his car in silence for God knows how long, trying to find an excuse good enough to make him leave the premises he had prepared so long ago for a situation like this. He had everything ready for an eventuality of this kind, but he wasn’t the patient this time. He wasn’t the one withering away in a bed in a room of the secluded villa deep in the countryside. He had defeated the curse. He was safe, but why didn’t he feel like it?

He wanted to leave to gather himself, but he couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. There was no place he wanted to be as much as he wanted to be there, holding her hand. Taking a deep breath, he got out of the car and walked inside the villa, back to her.

He reached the hallway to his room, a room that was designed to be his when the time came, and ignoring the dreadful feeling in his chest, he kept walking. When he finally reached the room, he halted, watching Jongdae collect more blood while Gyuri read something from a clipboard. He heard her ask if the bone marrow biopsy hurt as much as she imagined it would. The nurse explained, admitting that it was a very uncomfortable procedure.

“You can’t do it.” He said, bringing their attention to him. “Don’t do it.”

“Kyungsoo…” Gyuri called him with such softness that he almost stopped.

“They’ll turn you into a lab rat.” He said, as he walked around the bed to see her face.

“I’m already a freak; I might as well do something good about it.” She added, handing the clipboard back to the nurse.

“Don’t do it.”

“Like you didn’t do it back then.” She asked, making the writer and the nurse freeze in their spots.

Gathering all of his equipment, nurse Kim apologized and left the room, pushing the little cart that suddenly made so much noise that it was unbearable.

“Kyungsoo, I want to do it.” Gyuri explained, looking away from him, “I just want to bring something good out of all of this.”

“It will be painful.”

“I’m in pain already!” She raised her voice, looking at him with a fiery glint in her eyes, but as soon as the outburst happened, she settled back and said, “Nothing will change my mind.”

He didn’t know what could break through her determination, and his jaw clenched and his fingers worked themselves, picking the nails in frustration. He might be quiet and look collected, but Gyuri looked at him, and he knew she could see the storm brewing in his eyes. The tension in his jaw and the impatience in his hands were hard to miss.

"What?" She asked, seeing right through him.

“I can’t see you suffering.” He finally said.

“You’ve seen me suffering for months now." She said, finally softening and looking a lot more exhausted and spent than she looked just seconds before, “Out of everyone, you’re the one that has seen me at my worst. What's different now?”

“I don’t want you to do it.” He pleaded, closing the distance between them to grab her hand. “Please, don’t do it.”

“Ok, tell me why, and I’ll think about it.” She said, looking at their holding hands with a hopeful expression, “Maybe if it’s a good reason, I'll change my mind.”

But he had no good reasons other than his own selfishness. All he wanted was for her to stop suffering. He would give his entire fortune to ease her pain, and signing up for the research program was totally against that. She would die in the worst of pain, and he couldn’t stay there to witness it. His face must’ve expressed every doubt and concern because her hands slipped from his to his face, and as small and delicate as they were, her touch felt surprisingly strong and steady.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

Not only her eyes, but her voice was so soft and filled with understanding that Kyungsoo flinched in response. He knew there was nothing he could say to persuade her. Just as she bravely tackled every challenge head-on, she would face her end with her head high.

Kyungsoo stepped away from her. He wanted to be angry at everything and at her, at her damned goodness and her seemingly blind faith in Junmyeon, but the resolution in her eyes did not falter for a second. He staggered back, refusing to believe that was all he could do to convince her.

He left the room again, torn between what he wanted and what he knew she needed, and burst into the main office, ready to fight the only person he could blame for this. Of course, he was still working to find a cure. If someone could find it, it was him. What angered him the most was his calm demeanor. The doctor didn’t even flinch when he came in and seemed to be waiting for him.

“What did you tell her?” He said while walking to the doctor.

“Kyungsoo, calm down first.” Junmyeon said, walking up to him as well.

“What did you tell her?!” Kyungsoo snapped at his calmness, throwing his hands at him, but someone pulled him back before he could even get any closer.

“It is what she wants.”

“You don’t know what she wants!” The writer yelled, trying to free himself.

Whoever had him in the tightest of locks pulled him even farther from Junmyeon while another door burst open and Minseok ran in, alarmed.

“What’s going on?” The editor asked, assessing the situation.

“Kyungsoo, she filled out the forms to join the program months ago.” Junmyeon said, never looking away from him.

“This is what you always wanted.” Kyungsoo ignored everything around him and focused all of his anger at the doctor, saying, “To become the famous doctor who found the cure. At her expense!”

“You brought me here!” The doctor finally snapped, “You kept calling me, and not once did I reject any of your calls, no matter how many times you hung up on me. I’m here for you!”

Realizing that he had lost control of himself, Junmyeon took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Kyungsoo seemed just as taken aback by the sudden burst of emotion from the doctor that he had stopped struggling against whoever was holding him back. The doctor made a small sign and the hold loosened, giving Kyungsoo the freedom to move, and then he heard nurse Kim apologize before letting him go for good.

“Believe it or not, as much as I want to push this research forward,” Junmyeon explained slowly and as easily as he could. “I know she’s suffering, and I want to relieve that pain, foremost.”

Kyungsoo scoffed in response, but the doctor remained calm and kept on with his explanation.

“That’s right, and just as I respected your wishes to stay out of your case, even if it meant saving lives,” he said, and Kyungsoo noticed the editor squirm in his spot. “All I’m asking is for you to do the same; respect her wishes.”

“Minseok,” Kyungsoo said, without even looking at him, “Yixing should be arriving anytime soon. Make sure he comes here quietly and straight from the airport.”

The reaction on Junmyeon’s face indicated to him that he had crossed a line, and when the writer looked over his shoulder, he found Minseok staring at him with his arms crossed over his chest and his head cocked to one side. He wasn’t visibly angry, but he knew well enough that his words did not sit well with his oldest hyung. He regretted it almost immediately.

“Drop that tone with me.” Minseok warned him, his eyes twitching in anger.

“Hyung…”

“Don’t.” The editor stopped him, and Kyungsoo felt the smallest he had felt in years. “You’ve been treating me as a simple employee on your payroll; I might as well start acting like one so you won’t have to worry. If she’s the asset that’s making you write again, I know how to handle tough situations quietly, Kyungsoo. I have a business to protect too.”

Minseok had already pulled his phone to his ear before Kyungsoo could even begin to apologize. He still tried. He called him again, but the editor exited the room while he spoke to his assistant, leaving him behind with his regret.

"We're your friends, Kyungsoo. We always have been,” Junmyeon added, looking at him with his characteristic kind smile, “so don't push us away, not again."

“I’m sorry.” That was all he managed to say.

Kyungsoo left the office, his entire body feeling heavier, and went to the only place he felt remotely better, even though it had wrung all the warmth out of him lately. He came back into her room. She was silent and deep in thought, her slender fingers absently picking on the crusts of her other hand. She stopped when he came into her view, and he wasn’t brave enough to speak first. At least not while she looked at him the way she did. Her eyes bore into him, almost piercing through his soul, and he wondered if he would be strong enough to see the light slowly fade out of them.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He said in a whisper.

“Like what?” She asked, her eyes observing him thoroughly.

“As if I’m wounded.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re pitying me.” He said, finally holding her gaze.

“I’m just wondering how lonely and bad you must’ve felt then that you thought that letting it all go was the only course of action.” She said, looking away as if it were rude of her to do so, “It doesn’t make any sense.” 

“I just want you to stop hurting.”

“Then why!?” Gyuri fired up, almost sitting up in a surge of anger that startled him. “Why do you keep trying to make me tell Baekhyun!?”

Kyungsoo found himself jumping back, afraid of her. Afraid of her pretty face twisting in rage, her once sweet and caring eyes went wild and bloodshot. Gyuri propped herself on her hands, as if getting ready to pounce on him, when her body contorted, and as soon as the anger took over her, the violence disappeared, and she brought a hand to her mouth. She gagged a couple of times, making Kyungsoo flinch when flower petals and red juices poured out of her. He just stayed there, horrified and unable to react. It was not until the curse gave her a split second of a break that she looked at him and called his name in the smallest of whispers, yet it was loud enough to bring him back to action. Kyungsoo finally found the will to move and went to her, holding her small frame and moving her body so she wouldn’t choke on the petals. He didn’t have to push the red bottom again; every machine connected to her body started to blare in alarm, and he just had to wait for help to arrive.

It took longer than he thought. Kyungsoo cursed under his breath when his feet started slipping from all of the fluids that kept falling from her mouth. And for what it felt like minutes later, Junmyeon and Jongdae came into the room, dressed up in full surgical gowns and face masks that looked more like they were brought out of a zombie movie than real life. He urged them to help, but they hesitated, looking at him, frozen in their spots.

Gyuri contorted again as a new wave of flower petals gushed out of her, making Kyungsoo struggle to keep her steady, and with that, the doctor and the nurse started moving again. Jongdae was next to Gyuri, pulling a bucket out of nowhere, and held her in place while Junmyeon approached the writer with caution.

“Kyungsoo, you can smell it, right?” He asked, and although his voice was muffled by the face mask, it was obvious there was a hint of urgency in it. “Can you smell the stench?”

The question distracted him. It caught his attention enough to look at the doctor searching for an answer to such a question when he realized that he was standing still, looking at his own hands covered in flower petals, while the nurse took over holding Gyuri.

“It smells like her.” Kyungsoo said to himself, watching the petals tint his skin bright red.

“The gastric juices are toxic in large doses,” Junmyeon explained, grabbing him by the arms and gently pulling him away from the bed. “They can be poisonous enough for a grown adult after prolonged exposure.”

“Hyung, it just smells like her.” The writer said again.

“Listen to me now; I need you to stay here, alright?” Junmyeon said, still slowly dragging him away from Gyuri, “Did you hear me? I need you to stay here.”

Feeling lightheaded, Kyungsoo nodded. Satisfied with his answer, Junmyeon gave orders away and let him go, leaving him in the arms of someone else who nudged him forward. He couldn’t look away from his tinted hands, trying to find another smell other than her scent, but that was all he had. Her perfume. Her flower petals stuck to his skin, and as horrible as they were, they all smelled like her.

The writer lost track of time. He was seated in the office, but he had no recollection of how he got there. He only managed to gather himself when Junmyeon was back. With his surgical gown and face mask gone and looking beyond worried, Kyungsoo watched him explain something to Minseok. That was when he realized the editor, most likely, was the one that brought him there and kept him company while they stabilized Gyuri back to normal.

“She’s fine.” Junmyeon said to him when he was done talking with Minseok.

The news seemed to release a chokehold around his entire body, and Kyungsoo felt like he could breathe again. He closed his eyes, letting the immense amount of relief help ease the sinking feeling in his chest, but the doctor, bringing a chair closer, stopped it. Junmyeon sat right in front of him, and the worried look on his face scared him.

“I know I promised you years ago that I wouldn’t ask again, but this is a development no one has ever seen.” He started, and everything in him sounded serious. “Would you let me interview you on the record and film the session for research purposes? I swear, it is all kept in anonymity.”

“Would it help now?” Kyungsoo asked, trying to rub the red tint off his skin, “If I decide to let you test my blood, would it help her somehow?”

“I don’t know.” He said, “How long has it been since the last time you threw up petals? 4 years? Probably more, which means there might not be any traces of the disease in your blood anymore, or maybe there are, but there’s no way to know until we analyze it.”

“Do it.” Kyungsoo said, looking the doctor straight in the eye, “Take whatever you need.”

“Kyungsoo, are you sure?”

“Take whatever you need to save her.”