#aftergiow

Kai! Hi, I hope you're doing well!

Unknown - "I hate your guts but still want to make out with you" kisses

The walls of the cell you call your bedroom feel like they’re about to fall down on you. It’s hot, too dark, even in the middle of the day. For the hundredth time, you wonder if Unknown keeps this room as a self-inflicted punishment, or if the role of second-in-command just isn’t as prestigious as everyone makes it out to be.

You keep these thoughts to yourself, though. To say them out loud would mean to make yourself a traitor to the Saviour, and you definitely aren’t in the mood for a few nights in the basement. At least this cell has a bed.

You’re lying on it now, staring at the ceiling and listening to the sound of typing from the desk a few steps away, only interrupted by Unknown cursing under his breath every few minutes. You’re supposed to be sitting next to him, like he told you to, but he’s been working for so long that he probably didn’t even notice you get up.

Work hasn’t been going well. You are only allowed to know snippets at a time, though you pick up more from rumours and eavesdropping. The same word always flies around: revenge. Revenge on V, revenge on that redhead.

Aaaaaaahhhhh! Really?!?? Really really????

Oh my goooood 😭😭😭 I'm honored! Thank you so much for sending me this unbelievably sweet message 💕 I'm truly grinning so big right now.

Hello Kai!!!! :D thank you for the asks 👀💖💖💖

5. favorite little detail in a drawing you did

Ohh!!!!! I loved to make this little references to my Dragon Age oc ( his portrait and vallaslin ) also a tiny little thing from a story i had in mind (need to draw this one .-. )

20. what do you think youve improved on the most over the past year

Kai!! Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy <3

#42: Holding their hand while walking, even if there isn’t a crowd

Your friends always joke about how you and Saeran hold hands wherever you go. The truth is you’re always touching in some way. Thighs pressed against each other under the table at meetings, your head resting on his shoulder after a long day, his arms around you when you’re falling asleep. And yes, always holding hands.

In the beginning, when he reached for you, it was out of a need to feel you near him. When you were the only person he knew in bustling rooms full of strangers, he held your hand like you were his only tether to reality.

In the too-big, too empty living room of the bunker, you sit touching each other. Despite the fact that the sofa is big enough for you to both stretch out and be comfortable. It’s like you’re trying to keep the emptiness out by keeping each other close. When his head gets heavy with old doubts and memories, holding your hand is what reminds him that you’re real, that you’re with him.

His fingers are slender, with bitten nails. He’s been working on breaking the habit though, and they’re better than they were when you first got to know him. The skin of his fingertips is soft, and it never fails to make you shiver when he delicately traces them over your skin. They are always cold, no matter how warm it is, no matter how many layers he’s wearing. He tells you it’s bad circulation. It doesn’t stop you from trying to rub some warmth into them any chance you get.

Over time, has learned to trust that you’re not going to disappear. He reaches out to you not out of desperation, but out of a want. A desire to feel the warmth of your fingertips. To feel connected to you.

There’s supposed to be a full moon tonight. The air is cold, chill winds carrying the promise of winter. You’ve wrapped yourselves up in scarves and jackets and have decided to go out to watch it. You live far enough away from the city for the lights to not block out the night sky. On a night like tonight, you feel like you could reach up and touch the stars overhead. Like you could pull them down one by one to give to him.

You lie side by side on a spread-out blanket, arms linked and fingers intertwined. You’re not sure how long you’ve been out for. Time seems to move differently on nights like these. Lying still, the cold has gotten through your layers and you try to suppress a small shiver. He feels it anyway.

“It’s getting cold, let’s go back inside. I’ll make you some hot chocolate.” You already warm at the thought. He makes you the best hot chocolate you’ve ever had.

He gets up and holds his hand out to help you up too. He doesn’t let go of your hand once you’re standing. You can’t help a small smile that he notices.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You still hold my hand, even though it’s just us out here.” He hears the affection in your voice. Does he know how much these small things still fill you with such happiness? You hope he does.

He squeezes your hand and returns your smile. He doesn’t need to say anything else.

You make the walk back home together, hand in hand with nobody but the moon and stars to watch you. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

In his freedom, he learned that he’s allowed to do the things he so desperately wanted to do before. He’s allowed to look at the sky for as long as he wants. He can eat when he’s hungry and sleep when he’s tired. He can hold your hand.

Kai!! Thank you so much for the request <33 I actually had quite a good day considering I had a full day of classes, I hope you're doing well <3

I really really loved this combination, it was so fun to write! I hope you enjoy <3

#9: Cheek kisses

The hallways of the compound are quieter than usual on the walk back to your room. The only sound comes from yours and Ray’s footsteps. You haven’t run into another believer on the whole walk back. If you weren’t so wrapped up in your feelings, you would find it suspicious.

Your heart sinks a little lower with each step closer to your room. You’re dreading having to spend even more time alone in that pretty room. Having to leave Ray. Every morning, it seems like he has been showing up more tired, more desperate. You’re scared of what happens when he’s not with you.

Your feelings for Ray sneaked up on you without you even realizing it. Now, you find yourself overwhelmed with the need to protect him and more than that, the want to be near him. With each day that passes you check your phone more often and jump up at the slightest sound outside your door.

He takes you on walks out to the gardens and brings you pretty flowers when he comes to see you. Your heart flutters at the thought of him. More than once, you’ve imagined cupping his face in your hands, breaking that terrible distance between you, and kissing him. Maybe that way you could communicate to him all the things you haven’t been able to process yet.

You arrive at the door to your room disappointingly quickly. He seems to feel it too, slowing down as you walk down the last corridor. When he looks at you, his eyes are regretful.

“I’ll leave you now… make sure you get enough sleep, okay? I’ll be thinking of you as I work!”

You don’t want him to go. What you want to do is hold him close to you and promise that things will be better. You want to hold his hands and run your fingers through his hair and make sure he sleeps too. Instead, you take a step towards him, close a lot of the distance between you, and kiss his cheek.

Your proximity makes you feel giddy, the floral scent of him makes your heart jump in your chest.

Ray’s whole body tenses. His skin burns and he makes a small sound of surprise. When you step back to look at his face, his eyes are wide. His cheeks are flushed and match the little hits of pink in his hair. His gaze flits left then right, as if he’s considering running off down the hall. You reach for his hand, hoping to stop him from leaving for just a minute longer.

“What was that for? Did I do something wrong?” He asks, more to himself than you.

You reply anyway, “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just don’t want you to go yet, I miss you when you’re gone.”

He raises a hand to his cheek in disbelief. You don’t break eye contact with him, willing him to understand. He's usually so fidgety, you're not used to seeing him this still. It's as if you managed to flip a switch that finally allowed him to catch his breath.

You hold on to him and wait. His body eventually relaxes and he squeezes your hand softly. His cheeks are still red but he gives you a shy smile. “You miss me?”

So much. All the time. “Yes,” is all you can muster. Sensing that he’s calmed down, you reach for his other hand.

“I’m so happy.” He says softly. “Just knowing that you’re thinking about me will make work bearable.”

All you can do is nod. Your heart aches at the thought of him spending another sleepless night stuck behind screens. “Will you come see me tomorrow?”

His smile widens, “I will! I’ll bring you fresh flowers.”

“All I need is to see your face,” you say. “Goodnight, Ray. Promise me you’ll get some sleep tonight?”

He winces as if remembering a lecture. He repeats the line he’s told you countless times before: “Don’t worry about me. I just need to push through this. I'll be fine.”

How do you make him understand? That you need him to be so much more than fine? You pull one of his hands up to your lips and kiss his knuckles over his glove. “Please? Get some rest for me?” It comes out as barely a whisper.

His eyes follow your every move, widening again in surprise. He inhales sharply and nods. Good.

“Can you… do that again? To say goodnight?” He asks, his voice small. He looks at the floor and tenses up like he’s ready to run again.

You laugh under your breath. Hearing him ask for something he wants makes you happier than you expected.

“Of course.” You pull him closer by both hands and press your lips to his other cheek, lingering for longer than you did the first time. Then, you pull away and kiss the knuckles on his other hand.

for your event, i was dying to send something in when i saw your post!! my favorite character would be Ray, for the activity i was thinking about how lovely a drink & paint date would be with him! (except we drink tea instead of alcohol hehe) since painting is a hobby of mine and i feel like he would enjoy that, too. as for the extra info about me, i'm more of an introvert; it takes me a bit to get comfortable around a new person. i enjoy spending time with my loved ones doing whatever, and i really enjoy those warm, comfortable silences but also talking nonstop about whatever comes to mind.

thank you for doing this and good luck with your exams, i'm sure you're gonna do great! ♡

Kai! Thank you so much! I appreciate you a lot <3

If you were to look at Ray’s desk in the server room, you’d find it littered with little scraps of paper full of doodles and sketches. A flower in bloom, the pattern of a believer’s robe, a small figure that resembles you. His notes are bordered with small patterns and figures. He’d never tell you about it, worried that you’d think he’s strange or think they’re not good. They’re mostly a way to clear his head and ground himself.

He doesn’t know how to explain the rush of warmth he feels in his chest when you tell him how much you enjoy art. He understands you completely when you explain what it feels like to be able to express yourself through art.

On a sunny day, you set up a date in a gazebo in the gardens of Mint Eye. He manages to find supplies for you, anything you could wish for. On a small table, he has also set up a pot of tea and a selection of little cakes and treats. Tucked away amongst the freshly-trimmed rosebushes, it’s almost easy to forget where you are.

It’s quiet as you both decide what you want to paint. He’s hesitant to get started. Putting his brush to the paper feels very permanent. What if he makes a mistake? You’re sitting facing opposite each other, so he can’t see what you’re doing, only your expression as you work. He can’t help but wonder what you’re thinking about.

He has never painted before. He likes the way that it makes him slow down and consider each brushstroke. Whereas his sketches are about getting out an idea as fast as possible to empty his head and continue working, this feels more intentional. He wants to make something he won’t hate when he looks at it (and something that you’ll hopefully like too).

It’s quiet as you both get started. There’s just the sound of leaves rustling in the wind and birds somewhere in the distance. Neither of you mind it that way. You’ve come to realize that you trust Ray possibly more than anyone else in this strange place. The silence here in this open space doesn’t feel threatening, as it sometimes does in the halls when you pass groups of believers. Instead, it feels safe and calming.

The silence is interrupted when he refills both your cups of tea. He was sure to ask for your favourite flavours. As you put down your cup, you start to make conversation. The air feels light and free, and you want to talk to him, to make up for all the times that he’s gone and you can’t. You want to ask him questions and hear what he has to say. Ray is happy to listen to you talk about whatever is on your mind. He likes feeling like you’re opening up to him. In turn, he tries to open up to you too. Being known by you feels safe.

When you finish, you decide to count down from three and then show each other what you’ve painted. He’s shy to share what he’s done, worried that you’ll think it’s a waste.

Of course, you love it. He has painted both of you standing together, from the back. The scenery around you is not a place you recognize. You’re looking out over water, surrounded by flowers. No details are sharp, everything is wispy, a sort of suggestion. It’s perfectly Ray.

Hi Kai!! Thank you for asking <33

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

I tried out a new recipe I've been wanting to make for aaages now and it turned out well! My family also tried it and liked it so I'm very pleased!

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

21. How was your day today?

Slow and brainfoggy, mostly. Hopefully I’ll feel more productive this evening!

32. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Either I’d like to go to a beach somewhere, or to visit my best friend (maybe both??)

40. Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?