so i was doing badly. as always. and i decided that a bus ride is better than the accursed bed that i rotted all over already, so i went out
and apparently on that day there were temporary rollercoasters installed!! (a dutch thing, don't question it too much)
so i went 'oh, a somatic experience, just what i need, let's go' and picked the scariest looking one. a centrifuge-based apparatus with four spinning limbs. it also turned upside down at times
and it was so fun??? i was giggling uncontrollably, but i admit i was a bit scared, distrustful of the holding piece, grabbing it tightly.
but at one moment (at like 2/3rds of a ride) i decided to just completely let go. just let it happen. i was already on it, it was already happening. so why the clench. so i went limp
and the ride became much easier. my head got clear for the first time in forever
that fixed something in me.
