#afk date

Twins – They may be thousands of years old but they look like kids. Also talking in unison kinda makes my head hurts.

Orthros – I still haven't forgiven him for letting Zolrath roam free. I don't care if it would be "disturbing the timeline" to stop him, he disturbs enough to warrant an arrest.

Zaphrael – Unlike certain someone, I do not like forcing people into relationships they're clearly not interested in. He's married to his job and he's happier that way.

Flora – Here!

Izold – No face, no lips to smooch, and also the body isn't really his. He doesn't even have arms to hold me close and I demand to be the little spoon.

Daimon – He's a child.

Niru – Happily married. Also he's in the Realm of Denial most of the time and I'm pretty sure living humans cannot stay there so I wouldn't get to spend much time with him.

Kane – Opposite problem than with Khazard. Fire hair is a serious hazard that I'm not willing to take. And I'm fine with pets but I'm not sure my apartment allows dragons.

Rosaline – She's a child. Also I honestly feel like she deserves someone more capable of protecting her.

Whoa that's a lot-

Khazard – You can't cuddle with the guy. He's cold and jagged and probably very uncomfortable to even just hug. Holding his hand might make me bleed.

Oscar – It's not even his real name. How can I trust a guy who won't even tell me his name? Not to mention I really can't afford that much cuttlery thrown around, get a dagger or smth or at least pick up your knives my dude...

Fawkes – Way too edgy for me. Also the parasite would probably make a lot of things really really weird. I have the distinct feeling he's the kind of person to say crazy crap like "I don't eat anything I don't kill with my own two hands" and I really can't put up with that much drama on daily basis.

Lucius (this hurts me to say, he's such good boy) – With how much time he spends with Belinda, I'd probably get really jealous. Also a very submissive guy and that's not really what I'm looking for. And he stormed off last time someone offended him (though it was justified) so conflict avoidance.

Eironn – Dude's a workoholic. My lazy ass absolutely wouldn't be able to keep up with him and it would just frustrate me and tire me out. Also those horns are probably a nightmare to sleep next to, what if he pokes my eye out on accident or if he has a nightmare?

Cecilia – Her job doesn't allow her to enter a relationship.

Rigby – I don't date alcoholics.

Eluard – I'll be honest with you, I can't find any reason not to date him if the church allows him to.

Warek – A friend once said he looked like Handsome Squidward and I can't unsee it.

Satrana – For one, she's a kid, for two, she'd probably set my stuff on fire.

Anoki – Massive daddy issues. Understandable but please get therapy before getting a relationship.

Grezhul – He's already simping for someone else.

Wu Kong – Am I dating the real one? Or a clone? You never know.

Theowyn – She doesn't want me, she wants her brother.

Kelthur, Thoran, Nara, Morvus, Tidus

Kelthur – Mommy issues mostly. Issues in general actually. Not really forgiving and I'm not perfect.

Thoran – Old and cranky. Also he already has Grezhul.

Nara – Probably smells like seaweed and rotten wood and I'm not about that. Also I'd rather not have gore all over my livingroom.

Morvus – I like tall men.

Flora – Hair that long would absolutely clog up the shower drain every time she washes it. Not to mention all the flower petals and pollen she brings in with her. Would be a hell to clean.

Solise – Here!

Nakoruru – I'll be honest, I often forget she even exists so...

Saurus – I'm not a furry (is it still furry if he's a lizard?) Also men with self-esteem issues are not exactly my thing except in a few very specific cases.

Silas – I can excuse the clearly radioactive green stuff he carries around but putting brains in a jar and crafting up Frankenstein-styled bodies is where I draw the line. Also with those talons of his, he would rip all my sheets to shreds.

Solise – The only plant that survived my care was a cacti and that should tell you all you need to know about me and plants (I also had a lichi I was very proud of but we left for a vacation and it died before we came back because our housekeeper overwatered it).

Nemora – She looks like a child and her voice kind of annoys me.

Ira – Way too edgy. Feels like she would hide under the bed instead of sleeping on top of it like a normal person. May or may not steal grandma's chicken.