#affablebusinessman

OH SHIT HERE COMES THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

drumroll

“Ivan x Nigel has a 53% chance of being a successful ship.“

well

“The do you mean, you can’t serve me?” Amir glowers hotly at the hostess, standing as threateningly as a stature of five feet five inches allows. “You didn’t hear me when I said I’ve got caps?” 

“I heard you quite perfectly sir.” The masked hostess responds with practiced calm, “Never the less, dining access to the Gourmand remains a luxury granted to only our White Glove members--”

“There’s like five people in there.” Amir snaps, throwing an arm toward the open dining room, “I can see them from here! Are you serious!?”

“Undoubtedly. Now, unless you find means in which to join our society, I will ask that you kindly reframe from pressing the matter further. We also take politeness quite seriously.”

The salesman glares for a moment longer before turning away on his heel. He’s craving a thick, juicy steak like an oasis in the Mojave, but even he’s got enough sense not to start a fight. The Ultra Luxe isn’t an establishment he cares to be banned from. 

((I’m so glad))

((He has a back-up of all his terrible childhood writing/fandom stuff on an external hard drive of shame that he never looks at. Someday, someone finds it and reads all of it and it’s the worst day of his life.))

((WHEN HE WAS LIKE THIRTEEN? YES ABSOLUTELY. THEN BURIED IT DEEP IN THE HEART OF HIS HARD DRIVE WHERE NO ONE ELSE COULD FIND IT.))

Ain’t never been there. Don’t really get what’s so fuckin’ special about it. Like... gamblin’ n’ titties are everywhere. Why do rich people gotta go to some secret fancy place ta get their fix?