“If we’re gonna date, you may have to defeat my seven evil exes.”
“You have seven evil ex-boyfriends?”
“Seven evil exes, yes.”
“And I have to fight… defeat. Defeat your seven evil exes if we’re going to continue to date?”
“Pretty much.”
4NEMO/5WIRL/6REEZE ft. ALBEDO
SYNOPSIS: As a known helper all around teyvat and someone who’d been titled ‘hero’ countless of times, Aether has never had a shortage of women and men alike falling at his feet. Not that he liked the attention, truly. But when his dream woman starts appearing in his sleep, he discovers her past comes with a unique and troublesome baggage; a league of evil exes determined to put a stop to their budding romance.
GENRE: somewhat modern AU!, SCOTT PILGRIM AU!, possibly slight innacurate depictions of the characters, (and more idk i'm tired of formatting this bs)
WARNINGS: lame ass fighting
STARTED ON: 01/09/2025
TAGLIST: what haha
NOTE: This is my first au and I got bored so I made this for shits and giggles. None of this is to be taken seriously as some characters may or may not be OOC on purpose. Originally supposed to be an xmale reader, then gn reader, before eventually landing on female reader bcs it makes it easier for me. Keep in mind, English is not my first language so I apologize for any grammatical errors ahead. If you see any odd posts before being deleted, that’s just me learning how the fuck people format in this site (3-4 hours now and counting) thx and have fun
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“You’re… you’re back in town.” Lumine spoke almost absentmindedly as she stood tense. “I… why did you come back?”
“You two know each other.” Aether’s gaze switched between the two, piecing things together.
“Yeah, um… we were friends from middle to early high school.” (Name) gave a sheepish smile to the male. Lumine however, looked less than pleased with the remark.
“Yeah. Friends.” She spat out in near contempt at the word. “So, what made you come back? Looking for more men to turn into exes?”
“Exes?” Aether raised a brow.
“Let’s maybe not talk about this now…” Wrapping her fingers on the strap of her bag, (name) bore an unsettled expression. “Aether, I didn’t know you knew Lumine.”
“Well, yeah. We’re twins.” With one brow raised, Aether said it as though it was obvious. Which it probably was, to be fair. (name) paused at the information, eyes switching between the two before laying her palm on her forehead in utter defeat. “…Oh, archons. I’m dead.”
She shook her head. “… No, this isn’t working out. I need to go.”
“What? No, hold on.” Aether took on a more stiff stance, arm slightly outstretched yet not quite touching the girl. “What does that mean? I didn’t—“
“Just drop it, Aether. You’re much better off without her.” Lumine narrowed her eyes with a frown. “Right, dearest?”
“…” (name) clutched her bag and sighed at the shade, nodding. “Sorry, Aether.”
“Having both of you here, knowing you both know each other but aren’t telling me anything isn’t helping.” Aether was starting to get a bit irritated and desperate for context.
“I told you before, I was from here before I moved. No wonder you looked so familiar, you're twins.”
“And I just coincidentally never met you?”
“I deliberately kept her from you for a reason.” Lumine cut in, “Never mind that, just— I don’t want you pursuing (name).”
“Why?!”
“Because we used to date, Aether!” Lumine couldn’t help but yell out in utter frustration. “And I’ll be damned if I let you turn into another evil ex of her’s!”
“Evil wha— And you used to date her?!” Aether turned to (name) in incredulity, as if waiting for a denial. The (h/c)-haired female only averted her gaze with a shrug. “I mean, technically I guess? But—”
“Technically?!” The twins repeated in chorus.
“You abandoned me and now you’re denying me?” Lumine’s fists clenched. “Oh, you’re so… so…!”
“I’m going to wipe the floor with you, you little ████ !”
Ayaka, Aether, and (name) tensed at the high-pitched voice announcing the action. A hologram of a white-haired pixie child floated around, waiting for the next command from Lumine who initiated the menu interface.
Lumine pressed on a few buttons in front, an 8-bit noise made every press.
| Menu Opened! Please Select Gamemode! |
« PVP! »
Before it could confirm, Aether quickly tackled his twin, resulting in the two wrestling on the grass.
“Get the ████ off me, Aether!”
“I’m not letting you fight (name), you moron!”
“What do you know?! Mind your business!”
Lumine shoved his face away and pressed confirm.
| Menu Opened! Please Select Gamemode! |
« r a n d o m »
The mode switched rapidly, mock lottery noises as it did. As it slowed down, Paimon did a little twirl before announcing,
| Gamemode Selected: |
« Windtrace! »
“What?!”
Aether let himself get pushed off as Lumine stood up and dusted herself. “Now look at what you’ve done!”
“What I’ve done?!”
Ayaka stepped back, just in time as the three shortly got transported to the preparation area.
>>> Map: Winery Confrontation
(Dawn Winery, Mondstadt)
1P | Lumine |
Hunter
2P | (Name) |
Rebel
3P | Aether |
Rebel
“Hah, shit.”
“What the hell is with you two?!”
“Kind of a long story?”
Aether and (Name) spawn in front of the manor, a large blue dome containing the hunter behind them. She tapped the small device on her wrist, flashing a countdown with an hourglass above.
Preparation Phase
00:32
“Get in.” (Name) opened her small bag to the widest it could be. Aether’s brows knitted. “In your bag?”
“Go on, we don’t have much time. It’ll make it easier to hide when we’re one person in space.” She stretched her bag wider. The blond peeked inside to see nothing but black. Hearing the clock ticking however, Aether decided to try with a sigh. Much to his surprise, the small bag stretched on from the inside, as if accommodating him and more until he was completely in.
“So you two dated? That’s what’s going on, right?” Aether peeked his head out, to which (Name) gently pushed it back in. “I’m not sure, actually.”
“Not sure?!”
“Hush.” (Name) went to the supporting post to reach the balcony, sitting down behind the barrel and mini crate. She set down a concealing beacon behind the crate that made any nearby rebel invisible. She checked her wrist, the mini countdown reduced to a mere ten seconds.
“Okay, so long story short, your sister and I met in middle school. Kind of hit it off and stuff. We were best friends that maybe kissed a few times? Then um, I moved away after a few years or so mid-high school, then we slowly stopped talking.”
“That’s too short—“
“And now we stop talking.”
The blue column containing the hunter disappears as the timer reaches zero, another one popping up flashing ‘3:29’ and counting down again. Lumine was quick to circle around the mansion and the area behind it to which (Name) sighed in relief and slumped.
“We’re lucky it landed on Windtrace of all game modes…” She leaned back on the barrel. “I am not fighting Lumine.”
Aether opened his mouth to retort, only for (name) to interrupt. “Neither am I letting you fight your own sister.”
Aether’s head and hands were out of the bag, fingers fidgeting with the zipper. “Still, if that’s all that happened between you two, Lumine wouldn’t immediately fly off the handle trying to fight you. There must be something more to it.”
“Not sure about that. Let’s rotate?”
“Sure. We can climb on a tree in an area she’s searched before and place another beacon there. Then when the favor descends, one of us can go for it.”
“You don’t want to let her get it and just run for it?”
“No. Lumine can chase down practically anyone, especially now that she’s pretty pissed. And if she has the other skill, we’ll just be stuck in place.” Seeing (name) look at him in curiosity, he smiled sheepishly. “Lumine and I liked to play this game when we were younger.”
“Win often?”
“When I hide and favor is turned off? 100%. Out in the open? Not a chance.”
While Lumine searched the back of the building, (Name) slid off balcony and ran to one of the trees to the left of the mansion. Before climbing however, she looked to the side and made direct eye contact with the hunter herself.
“Ha!” Lumine spared no time sprinting their way.
Breaking out in a sprint, (Name) went for the grapevines so it would be harder to chase around.
“Yikes, can’t you use your rollerblades?!” Aether stuck his head out to look back at Lumine and shouted in a panic. (Name) continued to run.
“One, pretty sure it would be unfair and would pose a violation. Two, I had the day off from delivering. And three, I thought it would be stupid to wear rollerblade sneakers on a date!”
Taking out a concealing beacon, (Name) threw it down. As soon as Lumine captured whilst in pursuit, the lantern exploded into a bit of mud that slowed her down.
Aether tugged on the bag, sending a look to (Name). Yanking the bag to open it wider, the blond hurriedly leapt out. The duo split up in opposite directions, Aether activating his skill to turn invisible. Lumine paused for a split second before chasing (Name).
“Crap— why me?! He hides better!”
“I’ll deal with him later! Knowing you, I’m surprised you couldn’t hide for longer!”
(Name) frowns at the implication, huffing. “Still pissed about that, I see.”
“WHAT?!” Even more ticked off, Lumine nearly hissed out the word. (Name) went for the mansion, nearly falling off as she climbed the walls from the right side.
| A Favor has descended over some part of the Contested Zone. Pick one up to charge up your Secret Favor… |
Lumine paused at the announcement, eyes flickering from the (Name) and the falling favor on top of the simple work shed up front. With quick contemplation, she went and glided away for the favor instead. Aether appears from the right and grabs the Favor just as Lumine had landed.
“Got i—!”
Aether’s voice was abruptly cut off as a blue light took over, momentarily encasing him in a bubble before he disappeared into ‘Spectator Mode.’ He was still there, though only transparent and intangible.
| | Lumine captured Aether | |
“Great.” (Name) grumbles from the roof of the winery. Switching to a lantern, she slid to the back and placed down a beacon by the edge. She climbed down and hung off the walls to the back of the building.
< ⏱︎ 1:20 >
The sound of a loud splat made (Name) perk up and look above. Lumine looked down at her, just as stunned.
‘When the hell did she climb—‘
Quickly detaching from the wall, the (h/c)-haired female landed on the wooden back porch. She jumped over the fencing before yelping as she tripped on the chairs and tables.
With a little over a minute left, (Name) laid on the ground. She placed a hand on her backside, groaning over the impact. Lumine gracefully landed right in front of her with ease, looking down coldly.
“Good game, I guess?”
(Name) looked to the side and at the source of the voice, a transparent and spectating Aether deadpanning. She only chuckled, pretty much accepting defeat.
“You’re laughing now.” Lumine sighed, one hand to her hip. “Just what in hell are you still doing back here, anyway?”
“Here as in…”
“Here, as in the city.”
“Oh. I…moved back recently.” (Name) sheepishly brushed away some of the broken legs of the chair sticking to her thighs. “I got tired of Inazuma, I guess.”
“… You seriously don’t have anything to say to me after all these years?” Lumine’s stance grew slightly slumped, lips pressed together into a thin line. “Tsk, you’re impossible to talk to.”
(Name) looks back at her before averting her gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For… everything.” (Name) looked back up at Lumine. “For leaving without proper goodbye, for suddenly cutting all contact, just… everything. Everything I’ve done to you.”
“…”
“I was just…I don’t know. I wasn’t trying to purposely bury you in the past, I just didn’t know what else to do. Communication was hard and I– who knows when or even if I’d come back here.”
“But—“
“But that’s not reasonable, I know. I was wrong and you have every right to be angry. I was immature and I didn’t even know what we were back then.”
“… We never did say it outright.” Lumine’s eyes narrowed. “Still doesn’t mean it was all nothing.”
“Yeah. And I… I don’t know what else to say but apologies.”
“… You know how concerned I was?” Lumine stepped closer, wood crunching below her shoes.
“You ghosted me for months. Months, and I was so worried something happened to you. Then, when I actually went to Liyue to surprise you, what did I see?” Her fists clenched. “You were with a guy! I saw you— You were laughing so happily before he kissed you and you kissed back. I didn’t know what to feel!”
“I-I thought… I didn’t…” Lumine swallowed. “… Yes, we never made anything official, but still! That’s— That’s not fair!”
“…” (Name) attempted to sit up, only for a strip of rugged wood to poke into her arm and prevent it further. Wincing, she made a less than intelligent remark at an inappropriate time.
"That explains the immediate PVP initiation, but still—“
“Yeah, because you broke my fucking heart, you piece of shit!”
“You're being stingy. Fine, Min. We're heading back to my favorite shop today though. My treat, baby— ow!”
A young (name) slid through and off the globe climbers equipment after having hung off it like it was a monkey bar. A blonde by the same age looked up from her spot to look at her friend laying on the ground.
Lumine deadpans and leaves the swings, walking to her companion.
“Well deserved, honestly.”
“For saying I’ll treat you? I’m so wounded.”
“For calling me ‘Minnie’ and ‘baby’!” The blonde’s cheeks were slightly darkened in embarrassment as she grabbed the girl’s arm and pulled her up to stand.
“And don’t blame me for being a little angry, I’m so tired of being approached by guys. You or me.”
“Just means you’re pretty, Min.” (Name) grabbed onto one of the bars by her head and pulled, climbing and sitting on it. “I mean, I think you’re pretty. Really really pretty in fact.”
“…” Lumine looked up at the girl, still under the globe climber’s bars.
“I think you’re really pretty too.”
ੈ✩‧₊˚
“You’re lucky you got off the hook so easily.”
Lumine pressed on the sticky adhesive of the band-aid, securing it on (name)’s knuckles.
“Seriously, what were you thinking? Punching someone out of the blue so randomly.”
“Randomly? Min, he was harassing you.” The (h/c)-haired girl scoffed, eyes locking with Lumine’s intensely. “Plus, you had that look in your eyes that you wanted to punch him too and was probably about to, so don’t be a hypocrite.”
“Yeah I was, but still. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been sent to guidance again.”
“Happy to take the fall if it means you get to keep your pristine image, my beloved.” (Name) grinned at Lumine, pressing her lips lightly to the band-aid with Lumine still holding her hand.
“If you ever have to get your hands dirty, call on me. I don’t mind being called a delinquent for you.”
ੈ✩‧₊˚
“Fries again.”
Lumine and (name) were currently walking along the side path to exit the campus, seeing as it was both their dismissal time. The blonde’s lips were pressed into a thin line, clearly unimpressed by the food choice.
“Hell yeah, we’re getting a nice creamy cheese—“
“Excuse me…!”
The two paused to look behind them, a boy from their grade stood there almost too straight that it looked uncomfortable.
“What, need to tell Min something?” (Name)’s eyes grew half-lidded, crossing her arms. The boy shook his head. “I… I wanted to pull you aside and tell you something, (Name).”
“Oh, you know me.” The (h/c)-haired girl raised a brow. “‘kay, spit it out then.”
“Er…Privately.”
“Whatever you need to say to me, the missus can hear too. So go and spit it out.”
Lumine stilled at the mention, looking at (name) incredulously. The gaze went ignored as the (h/c)-hared girl stared at the boy in an almost uninterested manner. The guy felt immensely uncomfortable.
“It’s just… never mind, here.” The boy nearly shoved a poorly designed envelope into (name)’s hands before running away.
The two stood there in silence for a few moments before (name) turned to Lumine.
“Shall I open it, missus?”
“Isn’t Missus like a term for a wife?”
“Again, shall I open it, missus?”
“You act like such a weirdo sometimes.” Lumine laid a hand on the smirking face and shoved it away. She began to stomp her way forwards, feigning annoyance to leave her friend behind as her face flushed light pink.
“You know how many people think we’re a thing because of you?”
(Name) hurriedly followed after, catching up and matching her pace with a grin. A crumpled and balled up letter was promptly thrown in the trash as they passed by one.
“Good. Hope it scares men far far away.”
Aether’s eyes opened to an unfamiliar room, body buried under a thick and comfy blanket. He shifted for a few moments, closing his eyes and grumbling. Oddly enough, he could still picture and remember it as though it was a vivid memory.
‘That dream was odd… that was definitely (name) and Lumine, right? But…’
“Meow.”
Aether blinked twice to see a black cat with one eye sitting on his chest, tail swishing behind it as it stared deeply into him.
“Hi, kitty.” He lightly pet the cat, eliciting a short purr from it before it leapt away and ran out of the room.
Aether sat up, running his fingers through his scalp. Yawning, he looked to the side and was momentarily terrified to see no one there. Before he could panic however, the whistling of a kettle was heard from the other room. He sighs in relief as (name) enters the room with her jacket worn last night hung on her arm.
“Oh, you’re up. Nice.” Hanging it on the backrest of a chair, she motioned for him to follow. “I made us breakfast. Well, sort of. Just some egg and cheese sandwiches and coffee.”
“What time is it?”
“Like a little past nine.”
“Don’t you have work?”
“Weekends. Mualani has the shift today.”
“Hey, can this not be a one time thing? Just… you know. I mean—“ As (name) walked around the room and to organize, Aether’s eyes followed. “I’d just…really like… to be friends with you.”
“You’re seriously asking to be friends right after you wake up from spending the night on my bed with me?”
“… You’re teasing me at this point. I know you know what I mean.” Aether narrows his eyes with a light huff.
“Yeah, we’d be really really good friends for sure, I bet.” (Name) snickered at the nervous remark. “Come eat.”
ੈ✩‧₊˚
“Say, since you have the day off today, would you maybe like to hang out with me later?”
“Hm..” (name) hums, pondering. The two were currently sitting by the table and eating. “Yeah, sure. I’d love to go on a date with you.”
“Oh! That’s um, great. T’s… really great.” A rosy hue decorated Aether’s cheek. “Maybe we can meet up again at like… 1 PM?”
“Alright, looking forward to it.”
—
Aether rushed home, highly ecstatic that he may as well be skipping his every step. He was about one bus away from (name)’s apartment, so that was quite convenient. Lumine and Ayaka were sitting on the living room couch when he entered, one greeting him absentmindedly and the other courteously.
“So, where’d you crash last night?” Not sparing him a look, Lumine’s fingers skillfully slid along the buttons of the controller with her eyes on the television.
“At a friend’s.” Aether impatiently took off his shoes and placed them neatly by the door. He rushed to his room, followed by the eyes of both women sitting. Ayaka and Lumine shared a look.
—
After an hour or two, Ayaka and Lumine were left to watch a movie on the living room, heavily immersed until the only man in the house came to check himself out in the full body mirror by the door.
Aether was dressed extra cutesy for today, trying to fix an earring on one ear while the other was secured. Upon accidentally breaking the earring, he curses and pocketed it instead. He stood up straight, tips of his lips rising only to drop as he fell victim to his nerves.
“I’m so dead…”
“Going on a date?” Lumine spoke in a slight mocking manner, chuckling to herself initially. Aether turns to the two on the couch.
“Do I look ugly with my hair up this way?”
Faced with such a serious look, Lumine was caught off guard.
“You always look ugly.“
“Not at all.”
Lumine and Ayaka spoke in unison respectively. The two looked at each other as Aether continued to scuffle around and put on some shoes to match his outfit.
“You actually dressed decently for once. Congrats.” Lumine paused the movie and hung her upper body by the arm rest to look at her anxious twin. “Going somewhere special?”
“None of your business.”
Aether took a black cap hanging by the mirror before leaving the two to hang out. The duo simply stared at the closed door before at each other.
“He’s totally going out on a date.”
“Yes, that’s what I was assuming as well.” Ayaka giggled. Lumine rose from the couch. “Wanna spy on him?”
“Spy? As in, we’d follow him and watch his mystery date?”
“Hell yes. It’d be fun.” Lumine tossed the remote on the couch after turning off the t.v. “Plus, I’m curious about his dream woman. Must be someone foreign or new, right?”
“Dream woman?”
“Some mystery girl Aether keeps finding in his dreams and probably found in real life. I mean, we know most of the people our age living here, so must be someone who just moved in.”
“Are you sure? This is kind of…”
“I’ll treat you to the place they’ll eat at. Knowing Aether, there’d be great desserts there.”
“You say that as though I cannot afford them myself…”
“That’s a yes, right?”
“I suppose. Hurry and get dressed then, if you will.”
ੈ✩‧₊˚
Aether sat down on one of the benches lined up in the park. Checking his watch that flashed 12:30PM back, he looked around and relaxed. The park was bathed in soft light as the sun was covered by some clouds.
Alright, maybe he could treat her to some of the vendors selling ice cream around the park, then head to the arcade, then eat dinner at a nice place. He could probably end the day on a pleasant note by walking (name) home or even taking her out to a place with a nice view and stargaze.
Great.
Still, he felt something settling at the pit of his stomach. A feeling as though something was wrong yet he couldn’t put a finger on it quite yet. His brows furrowed as he closed his eyes to think and drown out the noise from his surroundings.
Everything was going too well. He didn’t get to mull about his dream from earlier either.
That was just—
He opened his eyes and they coincidentally landed on a suspicious pair who hastily ducked behind some bushes with a yelp. Earning an irk mark, he made his way to the two who only smiled at him nervously in return.
“Yo—“
“Don’t ‘yo’ me! What the hell are you two doing here?!” He whisper-yelled at the two as to not attract attention from people walking idly around the park. Lumine stood up from the grass and helped Ayaka up. She dusts herself off.
“Just hanging around… with bushes. It’s a hobby. It’s a girls thing so you wouldn’t understand.”
“… You’re spying on me.” Aether looked unimpressed. “Look, leave. She’ll be here any moment!”
“Oh, chill out. We just wanna see this dream woman of yours you keep obsessing over—“
“Hush and hurry to leave. You’ll weird her out!”
“Hey, if she can’t handle me, probably not the right girl for you. Just saying—“ Before Lumine could finish her jest with a snicker, Aether yelps.
“(N-name)! You’re…early.” He subtly moves over to try and block his sister and Ayaka from view.
The said female raised a brow. “Yeah, I thought I was seeing things when I saw you hunched over some bushes.”
“(Name)?”
The (h/c)-haired girl directed her gaze to the blonde somewhat crouching behind Aether and froze.
