#aetheist

God is a middle schooler.

We are a science project.

He doesn't know we exist.

God is a twelve year old girl

And we're living in weird Sherlock College AU

God isn't on our side

Or maybe he is

We could all just be a rock in his shoe

Pray all you want but there's no guarantee he'll come through

Cause there's only so much one man can do

God is a sadist getting off on our suffering

He designed us to make us all miserable

God is a kind and benevolent entity who's trying his best to make us happy

God isn't on our side

Or maybe she is

We could all just be a rock in his shoe

Pray all you want but there's no guarantee she'll come through

Cause there's only so much that one girl can do

Do you have faith?

Are you an atheist?

Are you just looking for a tangible answer?

Bloodshed and hate

There must be a reason

A good explanation for it all

God is a narrator but he left his mic off and now we are left without guidance

It must be hard to be a single mother if 8 billion kids in this economy

God isn't on our side

Or maybe he is

We could all just be a rock in his shoe

Pray all you want but there's no guarantee he'll come through

Cause there's only so much one man can do

I have heard people complain about but I haven’t personally encountered:

1.  People trauma ranking.  Honestly I don’t think I have significant trauma that would warrant OSDD.  I have not found people agreeing with me on that though.  I have found people telling me that my experiences matter and that abuse is abuse.

2.  Endogenics asking to take up space in traumatogenic community or even following me even though I do not have a DNI for endogenics.  Maybe I haven’t been around long enough or been in the right spaces but I personally haven’t seen endogenics trying to claim traumatogenic space.  I have seen bad behavior where some endogencis were abusive towards traumatogentics, but this has been two people, which is hardly representative of a community.  Apparently I’m more interested in endogenics than they are in me.  I guess I’m just fascinated with this idea of plurality because I’m technically a system but I feel that I’m a singlet.  Endogenic experience seems to be the exact opposite of what I experience (e.g., no trauma background and a non-experience of plurality).  I suppose I could create tulpas to try to feel more plural (but only if I were under the tutelage of someone experienced with creating tulpas from the tradition they came from, and only if there seemed to be a call from the beyond human world to do so, which seems unlikely for an aetheist to get) but tulpas are entities that are created or invited in to one’s mental space, they aren’t fracturing of one’s identity, so I still have no idea what traumatogenic plurality feels like, even though I technically am plural and traumaotgenic.  

Does that last sentence sound complicated?  LOL It’s supposed to. Welcome to my weird world.  Anyhow I truly am interested in endogenic experiences and syscourse and don’t feel triggered reading syscourse unless someone is obviously being abusive (which has only happened two times) but the conversations seem to allude me.  A friend said that she thought this may be because I’m the opposite of endogencis (e.g., a traumatogenic system who does not identify as a system) but who the fuck knows.