// @paradisint / @aeternumix

          IT  HAD  BEEN  TOO  GOOD  TO  BE  TRUE  ;   their  golden  trio  ,   the  closeness  and  power  that  they’ve  built  their  little  empire  on  .....   it  was  all  bound  to  end  eventually  ,   and  god  ,   jumin  had  tried  so  hard  to  prevent  the  inevitable   .    he  stands  with  his  hands  tucked  casually  in  his  pant  pockets   ,   the  tie  around  his  neck  loose  and  messy  ,   along  with  the  rest  of  his  appearance   .    he  was  tired  .    exhausted   ,   actually   .    yet  he  doesn’t  dare  speak  a  word  ;   his  silence  seems  to  be  enough  of  an  answer  for  the  both  of  them   .

   because  while  his  body  and  mind  aches  ;   rika  was  suffering  from  something  else  entirely   .    and  he  fears  her  disease  was  incurable  ;  his  countless  attempts  at  reeling  her  back  to  reality  and  sanity  had  been  met  with  fruitless  results   .     was  this  it  then  ?    hearing  her  words  ....  resembling  so  much  like  a  goodbye .... was  this  finally  the  end  of  him  trying  to  save  her  ?

   he  didn’t  want  to  believe  it  .    no  .  never   .

*** 

                   “    if  i  could  fall  ,  into  the  sky  /  do  you  think  time  ,  would  pass  me  by  ?  /  cause  you  know  i’d  walk  a  thousand  mile  -----  ”   

                    a  hand  immediately  fly  up  to  cover  his  mouth  ,  jumin  would  glance  around  to  see whether  or  not  anyone  had  heard  his  RANDOM  outburst  just  then.  what  in  the  world  was  that  ?  that  sudden  urge  to  sing  a  song  that  he  didn’t  know  ----  in  fact  ,  he  could  swear  upon  the  fact  that  that  was  the  FIRST  time  he  had  even  heard  it.  perhaps  ,   helping  rika  work  long  hours  of  the  night  to  try  and  get  the  party  necessities  set  before  the  deadline  was  doing  more  damage  to  his  body  than  he  originally  thought.   but  before  he  could  pinpoint  the  exact  cause  for  his  sudden  behavior  ----  a  light  yet  sweet  sound  would  emerge  from  across  the  venue  ,  completing  the  rest  of  the  lyrics  that  he  had  just  stopped  himself  from  spouting  out.  rika  was ....  dear  god.  

                     his  fingers  ,   although  stained  with  ink  and  worn  from  his  work  ,   held  a  form  of  GRACE  as  he  brushed  them  across  the  felt  cover  of  the  book.    it  was  obviously  aged  ,   it’s  pages  having  been  browned  throughout  the  months  of  being  in  his  possession  ,   but  despite  that   ,   jumin  found  himself  getting  lost  in  his  thoughts  -----  which  ,  of  course  ,   was  a  NORM  whenever  he  was  alone  with  the  text.   

                                           ‘    you’re  not  alone.  ’

it  was  funny  ,  really.    those  three  simple  words  ,   full  of  such  IRONY  ,   would  often  bring  him  comfort  during  his  late  hours  in  the  office  where  he  felt  ---  unsurprisingly  ----  the  MOST  alone.     he  hadn’t  even  attempted  to  read  the  novel  yet   ;   a  part  of  him  was  afraid  of  what  he  might  touch  upon  ,   afraid  of  dwelling  deeper  into  her  mysterious  mind.     if  anything  ,    jumin  was  at  peace  with  just  remembering  her  as  she  was  -----  bright  ,   friendly  ,   kind.      no  matter  what  his  intuition  says  ------   he  wanted  nothing  more  than  to  keep  his  memory  of  her  positive.    it  was  the  least  that  he  could  do   ,   after  all.

“     right.   i’m  not  alone.  ”    his  murmured  words  were  barely  audible  ,   but  there  was  no  one  around  to  hear  him  anyway.    and  so  he’d  allow  himself  to  smile  a  smile  that  would  never  reach  his  eyes   ,   as  he  closed  the  cover  once  again.    jumin  made  a  mental  promise  to  read  the  book  some  day ----   perhaps  ,   soon.   

just  not  now.

not  when  he  still  harbored  a   hint  of  anger  within  his  stomach   ,   at  her  leaving  him  alone  all  these  months  ------  without  a  proper  goodbye. 

***

                   a  girl  ,  huh.   as  much  as  he’d  like  to  pretend  that  he  was  the  BETTER   PERSON   ,  jumin  would  allow  his  usual  stoniness  to  crack  ----  if  only  for  a  moment.   he  knew  of  their  wedding  of  course  ,  having  been  invited  as  both  a  guest  and  the  groom’s  best  man.  and  though  jumin  had  specifically  told  jaehee  to  book  his  schedules  for  that  weekend   ,  he  had  secretly  hoped  that  the  newly  weds  would  take  the  hint  and  leave  him  be.   either  for  good  or  at  least  until  he  could  bury  himself  in  work  and  forget  about  the  HARDSHIPS  that  his  emotions  have  brought  upon  him.   

but  its  been  a  year  and  while  so  much  has changed  ----  jumin  han  did  not.   

and  as  he  stood  there  in  his  office  ,   phone  slowly  drooping  ,   the  once - always - collected   director  would  finally  be  caught  at  a  loss  for  words.   he  did  not  know  what  came  over  him  when  he  had  heard  news  of  rika’s  admission  into  an  institution  ----  the  words  simply  poured  out  of  him  ,  enrapturing  himself  into  a  situation  where  he  was  now  the  primary  guardian  for  her  daughter.  a  child  ,  barely  a  year  old  ,  already  motherless  and  with  a father  unable  to  properly  care  for  it.  for  HER.  that  thought  itself  would  be  what  aids  him  the  most  in  recollecting  himself  and  putting  the  receiver  back  against  his  ear.  

this  was  no  time  for  weakness.  

“   i  will  have  my  driver  pick  her  up  when  the  paperwork  is  completed.  thank  you.  ”   without  waiting  for  a  response  ,  jumin  would  hang  up  the  phone  ,   gaze  unwavering  from  the  blank   wall  in  front  of  him.   nothing  more  and  nothing  less.   he  was  only  doing  his  job  as  a  friend.  

no. 29: nakamori aoko. 

honesty hour. / @aeternumix. / accepting.

the only invitation i want is to the amusement park

NOT ACCEPTING // @aeternumix

JUMIN HAN  ➞  ..... What?JUMIN HAN  ➞  You’re talking about Jihyun, right?

of  course.      who  else  could  she  be  sending  such   SUGGESTIVE  images  to   and  despite  knowing  that   ,     the  director  couldn’t  seem  to  help  the  flush  of  pink  that  had  just  made  itself  known  on  his  cheeks.       

god    ,    she  was  doing  this  on  purpose    ,    wasn’t  she ?

JUMIN HAN  ➞  Why not discuss this matter with him yourself?JUMIN HAN  ➞  I don’t ....  think it’s appropriate for me to get involved.