#advicce

Blimey it's been hot, hasn't it? With more scorching days predicted throughout the summer, I thought it would be a good idea to share some tips on how to survive the soaring temperatures, day and night...

Blimey it’s been hot, hasn’t it? With more scorching days predicted throughout the summer, I thought it would be a good idea to share some tips on how to survive the soaring temperatures, day and night…

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Hello,

It is a shame that your friend has overheard her mother talking about her father this way. Her mother could be doing it for several reasons. She could feel angry that her father “left” her in a way (although of course he did not do it on purpose) to take care of the family and home, and now she is all alone. If the father was sick for a long time before he passed, she could resent that she had to take care of him and it occupied such a big portion of her time, emotional space, money, etc. Your friend’s mother is probably feeling a lot of emotions all mixed up together while grieving her husband, and might just be going through a particularly dark period right now. This new boyfriend may be the person that she can vent her emotions and frustrations to. This is actually good, because she has someone to hear her feelings and be supportive. I’m not sure if your friend’s mother knew that your friend could hear what she said, but it would be unacceptable to put that burden on her children. I would tell your friend that her mother may be feeling a lot of different emotions over her father’s death, and some days may be dominated by some emotions over others. If her mother tries to vent her frustration directly to her, she should not let her mother’s bitterness tarnish her memories of her father. If she needs someone with more experience to talk to, perhaps she could go to a school counselor, clergy member, or doctor/therapist and talk about what is going on. Overall, just be supportive and a good listener, make sure she knows she is valued, and that it is ok for her to have all her good memories of her father. Good luck!