i just rewatched bo burnham's inside and i realized that while a lot of people had to put their life on hold, there are people who spend a lot of their life like this
it can be anything depending on their circumstance but as a neurodivergent trans man who doesn't have an irl community of people i realized that i kind of live my life like this
i have my life at home and anything else when im not out by myself feels like a muted version of that
going to work, where im not out because of reasons, feels like a pause on that?
just feels like while non immunocompromised people experienced The Quarantine for two years ive been socially quarantined for most of my life
and it sucks
it sucks to know that i haven't experienced the social variety and and fullness that other people get to experience
when you're trans it feels like your body is a cage
when you're neurodivergent it feels like your brain keeps the rest of the world behind an impenetrable pane of glass
how do you deal with the fact that your circumstances have vacuum sealed you into an isolation you cannot break away from no matter how hard you try
how do you deal with the fact that the only like minded people live so far away you'd have to plan and save for a year and a half to be able to actually see them
how do you not feel like your body as it is, is taking away your chance of living it
