#adirants

I've been staying at my family's house for months now. I feel stuck. I don't know what I want. I want to be a student again but I want to work. I hate my degree but I want to work in that field so I won't feel like I wasted 4 years of my life. I am a mess.

🍃 Anyway, an update I guess:

Finished a course in codecademy, I need to find an alternative, something faster.

Starting on a free marketing course by Google.

Working on a project in my film organization. I wish I studied film instead, it's so cool.

🌱 What I want to do next:

I don't know maybe learn how do graphic designer (or something creative in general, though I know it's gonna be hard considering I don't know how to draw).

Read more.

I technically haven't graduated yet but I'm finished with my degree.

The job hunt is so anxiety-inducing, it makes me sick. I don't know what to do with my degree, it's really hard to find work in a field you don't really like.

I finally finished a book!

I just started learning how to to code about three weeks ago.

I’m going to go on a beautiful journey into fulfilling my dream career, vlogging and makeup artistry. I will try to produce snippets of videos on instagram and will try to provide newbies a dose of basic techniques to perfect their makeups.

Nahihiya pa ko pero sabi nga nila, kelan ka pa ba maguumpisa?! Now na!

By the way, may Mini Kwento ako. Last year, Nov 19, kumain kami sa Kanin Club with my papa and ate. Then after, sa Kenji Tei Solenad Sta Rosa. Tamang dinner lang. and suot ko nun ay maroon round shirt, na nakatucked in sa black shorts and black pointed doll shoes. Nakapony tail lang ako and sling bag. After our dinner nagantay kami sa labas ng resto. Malapit sa uniqlo. Then may napansin akong nakatingin lagi na good looking guys nsa 30’s na. Makinis. Maputi. Then biglang lumapit. Takenote kasama si hubby. Sabi,

“Excuse me, nagaartista ka ba?!”

Me: hindi po.

Them: Ang liit ng mukha mo, bagay na bagay yan kapag nasa screen. Tapos ang cute cute pa ng baby mo! Pwede siyang commercial model.

Me: whoa talaga po ba? Thank you po!

Them: by the way im —, and he’s —. May ari kami ng resto dito at the same time biz partners kami sa talent agency namin sa makati. Kunin ka sana namin for a TVC. Punta ka lang sa agency namin then pa VTR ka.

Me: *jaw dropped*

Them: eto tignan mo yung Facebook page namin. Lumabas na ko sa ilang commercial ng jollibee, etc etc etc. Kung napapanood mo sila. Kami rin naghahandle ng Downy commercials. Si boom boom pow if alam mo yun.

Me: *wide eyed jaw dropped* wow hello po, nice meeting you. Naku, hindi ko po kasi masyado kabisado ang manila. Kapag po siguro freetime ng asawa ko punta kami.

Them: No worries, kunin ko na lang number mo at isesend ko yung address ng building namin.

Me: Sige po. Salamat po ng marami at congrats po sa resto niyo dito!

Meanwhile, tinext ko kaagad sina papa ate at mum to tell what happened over that evening. 😭

Anyways. Update is, hanggang ngayon, di pa kami nakakapunta kasi wala akong kasama. Nakita ko ulit sila nung feb this year, kinausap nila ulit kami at pinapa-try magpa VTR pero yun nga. Siguro soon.

Anyhoo,

Follow me at

@nadineacu

Actually vanity account ko yan kung makikita niyo. So puro mukha ko lang anjan. Hahaha

Sana maachieve ko ang dream career ko in the span of 5 years.

After a cycle of tiring day. Baby. Work. Computer. Baby. Work …

I lay down, rest and visualize what’s yet to come, and loved but unappreciated.

Lets rewind the happenings this day. I set the alarm clock at 4.30 am to prepare for breakfast for paul because its his birthday, but I slept it all out. I know I suck at mornings. Woke up at 6am for the baby. Husband went to his work. Slept 7am with the baby on our bed. Woke up again at 9am to work and organize documents. Ate 4 nissin wafers for breakfast but no coffee. Why no coffee? The baby woke up. No time to make coffee, he’s crying out loud, for crying out loud.

Visualize the things I must do to friggin surprise the birthday boy. Yeah I bought cupcake, balloons, and effort. Yeah I think I bought one too. Thinking this would turn out exciting and fun. I’m thinking positive, I know it will.

I cut the nails of the baby then mine. I took a bath then prepared the time consuming m.s’s. The baby woke up. Great, I haven’t finished this messy m.s’s table. I put the baby on my carrier which is not a good carrier for an infant btw. But what else could I do. Friggin expensive carriers.

In other words, multi-tasking at it’s finest which is cool with me. It’s fun. I’m not complaining. I love to experience motherhood. The easy way and most especially the hard way. (sadist much. Lol)

I just pretty much enjoy everything I do, ON MY OWN.

We had lunch past 2pm. After that, the baby slept again. Sleeping time is heaven sent. I continue for the m.s’s. The mother in law went to the mall for pampering time. After that tiring rolling and dipping, I did some work, calls, contracts and more documents.

Then 6-6.30 pm came he arrived. I quickly set up the balloon. And yup its not that he’s not surprised but i dont know. Same face for wow, okay. Snap. We tried frying m.s’s and it’s good. It lacks breading though. The mother in law arrived and brought home max’s. MIL accidentally spoiled my surprise for a football candle smores cupcake for the birthday boy and. Yuuuh again, what else could I do but uhm to prepare the cupcake.

We took pictures for his mini celebration. He seemed surprised but hesitant. I know. Humble-ish coz he’s shy for the mini celebration. IDK.

Then after dinner. We talked about what to do’s on our list. Gave each chores. So there. I washed plates first, then these super time consuming feeding bottles. He, on the other hand, will be in charge for baby’s bath time and cooking m.s’s. After I washed the bottles (not yet sterilized), i checked on them if they were finished. Yep. It’s a no.

After sometime mother in law said she’s gonna cook the m.s’s but I insisted. If he’s not gonna do it, then that would be me. Coz’ I want it to be extra special. Made by me. Yeah the ego. I know. Then I cooked those finger sized m.s’s and it turned out good.

One thing I hate to where we are now, is the water supply. Where in the world could you experience this kind of service. Well yeah the water bill is cheaper than the ave. But we’re paying for the service. Yeah because of the pressure of the tank but that’s not our problem. They should fix it.

Back to the story. After that, i had to check mails for work. Update the contracts and making sure for the quotations. Then check on the baby. Play with the baby and fix baby’s clothes. He didn’t even bother to check/talk to me. Like wtf.

I know I can be so clingy plus judgmental at times but, wtf have gone with those efforts I did. Black hole. Then I forgot I haven’t sterilized the bottles so i hurriedly boiled hot water then sterilized it. It takes about 10mins when sterilizing coz im not directly putting in all the bottles and accessories in boiling water.

Uhm so then the baby’s kind of sleepy coz hes grumpy na. Then i made him go to sleep. I also know that the birthday boy could also be tired but I just didn’t recalled if he said thank you, or hugged me when the surprise started.

Then we lay in bed. He kissed me though for good night-sies then went to sleep. Me, typing this on tumblr and realizing I am thinking about the first paragraph of this text post. A cycle but what happened to my efforts. It’s supposed to be cycled back to me by a simple thank you. I think it’s lost somewhere.