Logan's head spun. The others had been pulling him around the house and talking and talking and talking until the words rattled in his ears and static buzzed under his skin.

He stared blankly at the wall as Roman talked excitedly into his ear, wanting desperately to slam his hands over his ears.

Roman stopped speaking suddenly and Logan barely just registered the fact he'd closed hs eyes and started rocking, hands clamped to the sides of his head.

A hand touched the bare skin on his arm and he screamed, pushing the person away. He took his hands off his ears and clawed at his arm to make the burning feeling go away.

A flame flared in his chest and screamed louder, slamming his fists into the wall a couple of times before sinking to the ground. He sobbed and shook as his breath came in short gasps, trying to ignore everyone staring at him.

The lights clicked off and a comforting weight settled around his shoulders, making him look up. Remus. Remus had turned off the lights and wrapped his weighted blanket around the nerd.

Remus's voice was a just over whisper. "Hey Lo, you're okay. Do you want to move over to the sofa?" He asked aoftly, earning a nod from Logan. "Okay, you're shaking a lot so do I have permission to pick you up?"

When Logan nodded, the Duke lifted him up and set him onto the sofa.

A long while later, the others finally asked. "Lo, what happened?" They had been together for a while but never witnessed anything like that and how Remus knew what to do is beyond them.

Logan chewed his lip and responded, "Sensory overload. I was overwhelmed and it triggered a meltdown. The final things were Roman talking in my ear and someone touching my arm."

The others nodded while Roman chewed his nail. "I'm sorry Lo..." he whispered, making Logan look up..

"It's alright Ro, I promise."

"It is?"

But. All the same. Janus was nervous. Jittery, anxious nervousness, manifesting itself in restless energy that they couldn’t stim away, fingers tapping on the nearest surface, thoughtlessly nibbling at the skin next to their thumbnail until it bled and they made a face and wrapped all their fingertips in bandaids to stop themself, wrapping strands of their hair around their fingers and tugging, and on and on. They were fully ready to go almost two hours before it was time to leave—dressed in a clingy black top with a v-neck that showed off their collarbones and black skinny jeans with neat rips in the knees—so they sat at their desk and jiggled their leg and pulled up the online portal for their classes.

“Dude, what is wrong with you?” Janus’s roommate, an overly friendly fellow pre-law student named Gary whose use of Janus’s correct pronouns was spotty but not nonexistent, asked after perhaps an hour of Janus completely failing to focus on homework.

“Nothing,” Janus snapped venomously. “Leave me alone.”

“Jeez. Chill out.” He held up his hands peaceably and backed off; thankfully, he gave them space afterwards without attempting to strike up more conversation.

At last, two minutes before the time Janus and Remus had agreed to meet up, their phone vibrated with a text from Remus.

Remus: Im outside the dorm 😝 Whenever ur ready, no rush

Janus drew in a long breath, responded with a single thumbs-up emoji, and grabbed their wallet and a black denim jacket in case they got cold—which was likely, even though it was sunny outside and only early October. Janus got chilly easily.

“You going somewhere?” Gary inquired from where he was sprawled on the top bunk with his phone.

“Yes,” Janus said shortly.

“Cool, want company?” He pushed himself up on one elbow.

“No. I’ll be back in a few hours.” Janus shut the door, ignoring the disappointed look on Gary’s face, and made their way downstairs and out of the building.

Sure enough, Remus awaited them, leaning against one of the trees on the lawn outside with his hands in his pockets, wearing torn jeans with fishnets underneath and an olive green crop top over a black binder, cut high enough to show off both the high waist of the fishnets and his belly button piercing. He lit up as soon as he saw them, hurrying over and linking his arm through theirs. “Hi, baby!” He leaned up to kiss their cheek.

Janus’s cheeks warmed at the nickname. “Hi,” they said softly, putting their hand on his where it rested on their other arm. “How are you?”

“I’m good! Excited to go see some fish.” Remus grinned up at Janus as the pair began walking towards the bus stop. “And to watch you watch fish, I bet you’re gonna be really cute. Not that you’re ever not hot as fuck, but you know.”

“Do you ever stop flirting?” Janus asked, not bothering to wipe the smile off their face.

“Nope!” Remus seized their hand and lifted it to his lips. “You’re too cute for that. Not unless you want me to, I mean. But, like, nah.”

“I—I don’t mind, no,” Janus said, when he looked expectantly at them. “It’s—nice.”

“Good! I agree.” Remus beamed. “Wanna go find the fish now?”

Perhaps half an hour—and several rooms full of fish—later, Remus declared, “Oh, my god, bringing you here was the best idea ever.”

Janus startled and glanced away from the tank, which they had practically been glued to, eyes wide as they took in the soothing watery light and the gentle motions of the fishes. “How so?” they asked, trying to sound nonchalant and internally wondering if they perhaps ought to be paying more attention to Remus, at their side with his hand tucked into theirs, rather than to the fish, however engrossing those might be.

“You’re fucking adorable,” Remus explained. “Can I take pictures of you? You look so fucking happy to watch critters swimming around, it’s the actual cutest shit I have ever seen. Makes me wanna kiss you. And other things.” He leaned up and whispered something in their ear that made them choke on air and glance around to make sure nobody else was within earshot.

“Pictures are fine, I suppose,” Janus agreed. “And—the other things also sound nice, later.”

Remus wiggled their eyebrows suggestively, making Janus’s cheeks flush. “Good to know,” he said sweetly. “C’mon, wanna go look at the octopodes?” They gestured towards the next room.

“The… what?”

“It’s the technically most correct plural of octopus,” Remus explained, bouncing on their toes. “It’s from Greek or something. Octopi is actually the least correct of all, and octopuses is in the middle—it’s correct, but it’s newer. My brother hates ‘octopodes,’ so I use it as much as possible.”

Janus laughed. “Very well. Show me the octopodes.”

“Oh, fuck yeah!” Remus squeezed Janus’s hand and tugged them towards the door to the room.

If Janus hadn’t been so busy holding Remus’s hand and laughing as he suggested terrible (and mostly inappropriate) names for the different creatures in the tanks, perhaps they might have thought back to their nerves from earlier in the afternoon. If they hadn’t been so distracted by Remus tugging them into the darkest corner of the jellyfish room and kissing them silly, they might have laughed to themself and wondered how they could possibly have been nervous about something as easy—and wonderful—as being around Remus.

But Janus was busy lacing their fingers through Remus’s and pulling his hand up to their lips to press a gentle kiss to it, and busy pointing at a particularly brightly colored fish and saying “that’s you,” and busy reveling in the way that Remus looked equally starry-eyed after both interactions, and Janus was altogether far too busy with important matters like these to even remember that they had been worried.

***

The first time they said “I love you” to each other was an accident.

It was almost the end of first year; finals week was nearing at an alarming rate, and summer break beckoned invitingly—but summer break also meant moving out of the dorms they’d settled into so well, and spending a summer apart, and Remus was, surprisingly, by far the more antsy of the two of them about this idea.

“I just don’t like it,” he said for the thousandth time, sprawled on Janus’s chest and tracing his finger back and forth along their collarbones. They were in Remus’s dorm, since it was Saturday and his roommate went home on weekends, and the pair of them had been cuddling in his bed for quite some time now.

“It’s not that long,” Janus repeated patiently. “And we can FaceTime. And I think I can talk my parents into letting me have people over, if you want to come visit.”

“I know,” Remus mumbled against their skin. “But I’ll miss you. ’N it scares me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Janus said. “I promise.” They stroked their fingers through his hair. “And Roman and I are roommates next year, so it’s not like you’ll be able to get away from me then. We’ve already signed the housing contract, and everything.” They did their best to inject some levity into their tone.

There was a pause, silence too heavy.

“But what if you wanna get away from me?” Remus said desperately.

Janus frowned. “I’m not going to,” they said, wrapping their arms a little more tightly around him. “I happen to enjoy your presence in my life, thank you.”

Remus’s hand crept up to cling to their shoulder. “How much?” he said, in a small, pleading tone.

Janus’s brows furrowed. This nervousness and lack of confidence wasn’t like Remus. He’d been jittery like this all week, and even a little bit for a few weeks before, and this was frankly getting out of hand, but Janus couldn’t fathom what the root of the problem was to get at solving it.

They cupped the side of his face in their hand and gently tugged it up for a kiss, tangling their fingers firmly in his hair and reaching with their other hand to find one of his and lace their fingers tightly together.

He clung to their hand and kissed them back desperately, as if seeking for an answer to some unspoken but terribly important question.

“So much,” Janus said quietly as they broke apart. “I like you so much, Remus.”

For some reason, this made Remus look like they were about to cry. “Yeah,” they mumbled. “Yeah, I know.” They leaned in and kissed Janus again, quick and hard, then pushed themself to roll off of Janus’s chest and sit up. “I gotta tell you something.”

Janus blinked and sat up as well. “Okay.” Their mind raced, wondering what on earth this could possibly be about, pulse skyrocketing with anxiety.

Remus twisted their hands together, playing with one of the rings on his fingers. “I—um—so I—I, um—” He swallowed and looked over at Janus. “I like you so much, too, okay? You’re—you’re the absolute best partner, you are, you’re fucking perfect, I—” He broke off and swallowed again, looking absolutely terrified.

“What do you want to tell me?” Janus asked, their voice too loud even with how quietly they spoke, trying so hard to shove down an answering terror because it felt too much like this was heading for some catch, some but… that would push them off a terrible cliff, and they had no idea where Remus was heading but the expression of fright on his face filled Janus’s stomach with dread.

“Right.” Remus nodded and pressed his lips together to stop the trembling. “So—I—I’ve been, um, thinking—or, fuck, I guess… questioning? For a—a while now—and—oh, fuck it.” He drew in a sharp breath. “Um, I think I’m polyamorous.” He did not meet their eyes, desperately fidgeting with the rings on his hands.

Janus blinked. “Is… that all?” they asked after a minute, cautious and curious.

Remus’s mouth worked, and he nodded. “And I—I promise it’s not anything like you’re not enough for me, or anything,” he said quickly, sounding desperate still and practically begging, “you’re fucking amazing, I—you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I swear, I just—”

“Remus,” Janus interrupted, reaching for both of his hands and clutching them.

“We don’t—I don’t even have to do anything about it, I don’t really like anyone else right now, I don’t need to date other people if you don’t want me to, I just—I just had to tell you now that I figured it out, I—” Remus’s voice was climbing higher and speeding up, sounding more and more panicky.

“Remus,” Janus repeated insistently, and Remus cut off in an abrupt hiccup of breath.

“Yeah?” he asked. Small. Subdued. Wrong.

“That’s great,” Janus said.

There was a beat of silence.

“What?”

Well, and didn’t the startled tone to Remus’s voice just about break Janus’s heart?

“That’s great, darling,” Janus repeated, squeezing his hands. “I’m so happy for you to have found that out about yourself.”

“O—oh,” Remus said, his voice very wobbly indeed. “Okay—okay, cool, uh—that, that’s neat.”

Janus tugged at his hands, and he easily scrambled forward across the little space between them right into Janus’s lap, arms sliding about Janus’s waist and face nuzzling into the crook of their neck.

Janus pretended not to hear Remus’s sniffle or feel the hot dampness of tears against their skin. “Remus?” they said quietly.

“Hm?”

Janus took a breath, rubbing one hand against the bare skin of Remus’s back below his crop top to ground themself. “I’m polyam too. Or—I’d like to be,” they whispered, heart thumping at saying so aloud.

Remus gulped and lifted his head, wiping his eyes and nose on the back of his hand all in one gesture. “You—wait, really?”

Janus bit the inside of their lip and nodded without meeting Remus’s eyes, reaching up to tuck some of Remus’s hair behind his ear. “Yeah. I’ve known for a while now.”

Remus sniffled loudly and wiped at their nose again. “Wow.” He laughed shakily. “And here I was scared you’d be mad.”

Janus shook their head and pressed their forehead to his. “I’m not mad at all. Darling, is this what’s had you so worked up this week?”

“Yeah.” Remus closed his eyes. “I, I told Roman and he got weird about it, and he’s never done that before when I came out about any other thing. And it made me scared that you’d—I dunno—” He broke off with a grimace.

“Roman’s an ass, then,” Janus said at once. They touched Remus’s cheek gently, wiping away leftover dampness from their earlier tears. “You didn’t think I’d break up with you?”

“I dunno! I was scared you wouldn’t get it and you’d think I was breaking up with you, mostly. With the timing of it being so close to summer, and the way people talk about polyamory, and all.”

“Oh, darling,” Janus murmured, cradling Remus’s face in their hands.

He reached up to cover their hands with his. “’M gonna be okay in a minute,” he mumbled. “Guess I’m glad I got myself all worked up over nothing. Way better than being right.” They turned their head slightly to press a kiss to one of Janus’s palms. “You never told me you’re polyam.” They spoke without judgement in their voice; simply a neutral, curious tone.

Janus winced anyway. “I haven’t really told anyone.”

Remus tilted his head to the side. “Were you planning to, or?”

“I….” Janus grimaced. “To be quite honest, I think I was planning to never talk about it to anyone, and pretend I wasn’t.”

Remus frowned, concern evident on his face. “Janny, baby, repression isn’t good,” he said, kissing their hand tenderly once more.

Janus sighed. “I know.” They were silent for a moment. “I only ever told one person before. In high school. He—was my boyfriend at the time. And then he broke up with me a week later and told the entire school it was because I’d cheated on him. When I hadn’t. So then I stopped talking about it.”

Remus frowned, tugging Janus somehow even closer, his hands coming up to wrap around them and tangle firmly in their hair. “That’s shitty,” he said firmly.

“It was,” Janus agreed, closing their eyes.

Remus kissed their forehead, lips pressing softly against Janus’s skin. “You’re too cute to ever feel shitty about yourself, okay?”

Janus let out a soft huff of laughter. “Pot, kettle.” A thought occurred to them. “Do I need to harass Roman for you?”

“Huh? Oh.” Remus squirmed, looking uncomfortable. “I dunno. He was—he was trying really hard to be cool about it when I told him, but I could tell he felt really weird about it and was doing a bad job hiding it. But, like. He was trying to hide it. Making an effort to make me feel safe. Even if it didn’t work. So I dunno if I’m mad or not about it.”

Janus pursed their lips. “Let me know,” they said after thinking this over. “I’m happy to make him regret his entire life, if you want.”

Remus snickered. “Cute. Dunno if he has the braincells to feel regret, though.”

Janus raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I can be quite intimidating.”

“…I’ll keep you posted,” Remus decided at last. “I’m kind of hoping he’ll get over it and I can just forget about it, you know?”

“That’s fine,” Janus agreed, although they privately felt that it was not fine at all and that Roman deserved at least a cold shoulder until he got over himself. But it was Remus’s decision and Remus’s brother, and Remus was far more important than Roman.

Remus nodded. “Thanks, baby,” he mumbled. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” Janus responded without thinking.

There was utter silence as the moment sank in. Janus was suddenly very, very aware of every square inch where Remus was pressed against them and their heart beating loud in their chest and Remus drawing in a sharp breath as he realized what he’d said. What they’d both said.

“Oh, wow,” Remus began, sounding incredibly flustered, and Janus cut them off by dragging them into an impulsive, clinging kiss, mouths warm against each other as Remus half-tensed for the barest second before relaxing and enthusiastically kissing them back.

“Gonna be real,” Remus breathed as they parted, “I did not know it was gonna be okay for me to say that.”

Janus nuzzled their nose against Remus’s cheek. “Oh?”

“You get shy about things like that,” Remus said. “Didn’t know how you’d feel about it.”

Janus considered this. “Did you mean it?”

“What? That I love you?”

Janus’s cheeks flushed. “Yes.”

“I meant it so much, baby,” Remus breathed at once. He touched their cheek reverently and wound a strand of their hair about his finger. “I love you lots and lots.”

Janus nodded. “Then I feel good about it.” They closed the bare inch or two of space between their mouth and Remus’s once more, kissing him slowly. “I love you,” they whispered against his lips.

Remus beamed. “Oh, I’m going to tell you I love you so much now,” he said eagerly, surging forward and knocking Janus backwards onto the bed as he peppered their face with kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you and love you and love you and—”

As Janus lay there, pinned beneath Remus and giggling helplessly as they tried to catch his lips with theirs to kiss him again, they found that they had no complaints about the new situation.

***

The first time Janus and Remus both had a crush on the same person, it was a little bit of a disaster, not that either of them could have done anything about it.

They were midway through their senior year of college, and Patton had dropped by the apartment, as he often did, to hang out with Janus and Roman. Roman had left for a class partway through Patton’s visit, and Janus and Patton had wound up impulsively baking cookies together. All of which was fairly normal. What wasn’t normal was that when Patton had helped Janus tie their hair back into a ponytail and told them their hair was lovely, Janus’s stomach had done a very unexpected flip.

And now it had been a week and a half, and they hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Patton’s soft little hands in their hair or how even though his hands felt very different from Remus’s hands they had still felt just as good and—well, this surprise crush was getting a little ridiculous at this point, was the point.

Theoretically, this wasn’t a problem. Janus and Remus had both talked about boundaries a lot over the years, and both knew exactly what they were comfortable with. Remus had actually dated a few other people after they’d established an open relationship, although they had never been people Janus was interested in and most of them had been brief relationships; and besides dating, Remus had hooked up with lots of people for a while. So none of this was new territory, really. And Janus had wanted another partner for a while now, a soft funny wistful longing feeling; there just… hadn’t ever been anybody they really felt interested in to focus that feeling on.

Until now.

“Reem?” Janus asked. They were lying on his bed with their head in his lap; he was sitting cross-legged and playing with their hair with one hand while scrolling through an online reading for a class on his laptop with the other hand.

“Hm, baby?” Remus responded absently.

“I think I have a crush on a guy.”

“Oh my god, really?” Remus looked down, giving them much more of his attention, eyes alight and curious. “Is he cute? Tell me everything.” His other hand joined the first where it was soothingly combing through Janus’s hair.

“Really cute,” Janus said, and, encouraged by Remus’s response, added, “Um, it’s Patton.”

“No fucking way.” Remus’s eyes widened. “Me too.”

Janus blinked. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, uh,” Remus sounded sheepish, “have for a while now.”

“Really?” Janus asked, flummoxed.

“Yeah, uh—remember when you and Roman went out of town for that class, and Pat checked in on me?”

“Oh. Yes.” Janus pressed their lips together.

“Yeah, um, I, uh. I may have not mentioned this before, but I just—and you can’t be mad at me, okay?”

Janus narrowed their eyes. “What did you do?”

“Okay, so, I kind of maybe didn’t sleep for the first… mmm… twenty-eight hours after you left?” Remus grinned sheepishly.

“Oh, my god, what?” Janus half sat up, panic thrumming through their veins. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! I’m fine. I promise I’m fine!” Remus said quickly. “Please don’t freak out.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Janus demanded, distressed.

“So you wouldn’t freak out. Like you’re doing right now. You felt bad enough about having to leave me alone, I didn’t wanna make it worse.” Remus wrinkled his nose. “I tried, but waking up alone was, um, really bad. So then I tried to just not sleep until you got back. It, mmm, didn’t go very well.”

Janus made a distressed noise, clutching Remus’s hand in both their own.

“Yeah, I know, I know. Bad idea.” Remus’s voice took on a slight annoyed bite. “All the options were bad, though.”

Janus winced. “I suppose.”

“Yeah.” Remus drew in a long breath and let it out. “Anyway, Pat came by on the second day, and he was like ‘oh my god are you okay,’ and he took away my monster energy, and then he stuck around while I took a nap on the couch for, like, way too many hours. And he promised not to tell you how bad it was, so you wouldn’t freak out. Which you’re not allowed to get all passive aggressive at him about now that you found out, by the way, since I made him do that.”

Janus huffed. “Fine.” They kissed his knuckles. “I wish you’d told me, though.”

“I’m telling you now, aren’t I? But anyway—yeah, uh, I think maybe I’d had some feelings for him before that I hadn’t thought about, but I kind of figured it out after that. I dunno. Something about a cute boy getting all protective and huffy and ordering me to take care of myself and promising he’d keep my nightmares away got to me, I guess.” Remus rolled their eyes, a small grin on their face. “What was it for you?”

Janus’s cheeks warmed. “I—he—” They hid their face in their hands.

“Ooh, now I’m interested,” Remus teased, gently lifting one hand away. “What happened with the pretty boy, baby?”

Janus made a muffled, wordless whining noise. “He helped me fix my hair,” they mumbled after a minute, face hot. “And it—was nice.”

“Oh, that makes so much sense,” Remus said, a grin spreading across their face. “Of course it was the hair for you.”

“Shut up!” Janus hid their face again.

Remus snickered and gently pushed Janus’s hands away from their face once more. “You’re so cute,” he cooed. “I bet you got all pretty and flushed, huh?” He wound their hair around his own fingers and tugged, making Janus stifle a noise of pleasure. “Imagine if he braided it for you,” they said idly, tugging again and guiding Janus’s head up until they could kiss Janus and swallow the nearly involuntary whimper they let out.

The conversation very swiftly turned away from Patton after that, and towards more of the interesting noises Remus could draw from Janus, and then towards further, highly enjoyable, activities of a related nature.

Quite some time later, Remus pressed a protective kiss to Janus’s forehead as they lay on his chest. “Do you think we should talk to him about it?” he asked.

Janus, who was now feeling slightly dazed, rather sleepy, and very happy, took a minute to process the sentence. “What?” they mumbled at last, blinking up at him.

“Patton. About both of us liking him. See if maybe he’d be interested.”

“Oh.” Janus struggled to form a coherent response; they were not particularly helped by the way Remus was running a hand soothingly up and down their back, or playing with their hair with his other hand, but they weren’t exactly complaining about either of these things. “I… maybe. Do you want to?”

“I think so,” Remus said, yawning. “I mean, if you’re down. I think he’d be really fun to date. I like him a lot. And it could be really nice to be in a polycule. What do you think?”

“I… feel nervous about it,” Janus admitted, wrinkling their nose. “But—I would like it, also.”

“Great,” Remus said happily, pressing a kiss to the tip of their nose. “Let’s do it! See if we can snag a cute boyfriend!”

Janus laughed softly. “Fine. Whatever you say, darling. Next time we see him?”

“Hell yeah,” Remus agreed.

But the next week, Patton asked Roman out, and Roman said yes. Remus didn’t speak to his brother for a whole five days.

***

The last day it was just Remus and Janus—not that either of them knew it at the time—was a good day.

It was a very welcome day, to be honest. It had been a stressful few months for everyone—well, everyone except Virgil and Logan and their perpetual practically-married bliss. Not that Janus was bitter or anything over how those two had avoided entangling themselves in this drama. Obviously not.

When, five months ago, Roman had come out as aromantic and he and Patton had broken up, things had been… awkward, to say the least, between the two of them and Remus. Of course, the twins had regained their equilibrium with each other quickly, as they always did; and, more recently, Janus had formed the impression that Roman and Patton seemed at last to be re-settling into the friendship they’d had before dating.

But things between Patton, Remus, and—well, and Janus, too—were another matter entirely. Two months ago, Remus and Janus, after spending several days talking it over, had approached Patton and asked him out. And he had turned them down. Politely, and sweetly, and with a gentle explanation that he was flattered, but he didn’t really feel ready yet for any new relationships. All of which made perfect sense, and none of which had made the rejection hurt any less. And none of which had made things less awkward between the three of them afterward; things had finally been settling down in their friend group after the breakup, and this had only gone and stirred the pot up again. Janus half felt it had been a mistake to ask Patton out at all.

And to make things more complicated—because that was just what they needed—at no point had Patton said he explicitly wasn’t interested in either of them, or that he wasn’t polyamorous, or any of the reasons Janus had been actually afraid he’d reject the pair of them for. (Janus and Remus had decided, after going over it several times, that they both liked Patton too much to feel comfortable with only one of them dating him, should he be interested in just one, and they had made this clear in their discussion with Patton. As Remus had put it, they were “a package deal, two boyfriends for the price of one.”) Which meant that Janus couldn’t help wondering if there was still some glimmer of a chance left. During the last week, they had definitely caught Patton sending several long, thoughtful looks in Remus’s direction when Remus wasn’t looking, and caught him looking away very quickly when they looked at him.

But Janus wasn’t quite sure what to make of any of it; wasn’t sure if they were reading too much into things and looking for what they wanted to see, or not. It gave them a headache to think about, and put them in a dreadful mood; they hated it when they couldn’t understand people’s motives.

But the last day it was just Janus and Remus was far less stressful than the average day Janus had been having that week. It was, in fact, a very good day. The loveliest kind of day.

On the way home from work, Janus’s phone went off, playing Remus’s ringtone. One of the perks of having wealthy parents who did not understand them in the slightest and felt guilty about it was that they plied Janus with extravagant gifts, clearly meant to substitute for the lack of emotional connection, and so Janus’s car was a very nice one, one which could connect to their phone; Janus hit the button on the dashboard to pick up the call without taking their eyes off the road.

“Hi baby!” Remus greeted cheerfully. “Are you done for the day?”

“I’m on my way home right now,” Janus confirmed.

“Any plans?”

“Not really, why?”

“Virgil came over and so there are three entire cis men in my apartment and I think I will explode if I don’t get out of here. Also he and Logan are being gooshy and it’s making me competitive. Wanna get ice cream?”

Janus chuckled. “I see. I’m not opposed.”

“Hang on just onnnnne second, baby.” Remus raised his voice. “Logan, you gay piece of shit, you kissed Virgil’s hand five times in the last two minutes, that absolutely is gooshy.” His tone softened into a delightfully syrupy tone that Janus knew was at least half to annoy whoever was in the room with him on the other end. “Sorry, Janny. Yeah? Ice cream date? Great! Wanna pick me up? And can I maybe make a cute TikTok about it to one-up Lo and Virge?”

Janus put a hand to their mouth to stifle a grin, even though they were alone in their car where no one could see. “I think you could talk me into it. See you soon?”

“Yes!” Remus cheered as Janus hung up the call and changed lanes, rerouting their destination from their own apartment to Remus’s.

When they pulled up outside the building, Remus was already outside, sitting on the edge of the base of the lamppost and playing something on their phone. They brightened as soon as they saw Janus’s car and hurried over, hopping into the passenger seat and kissing Janus on the cheek. “Hi, Janny!”

“Hello, darling,” Janus greeted, pulling away from the curb as Remus buckled themself in. “The gelato place?”

“Hell yeah,” Remus agreed, pulling out his phone once more. “Is it okay to put your face in the video, or not today?”

Janus considered this question. Remus had a decently large following on TikTok, and while it was sometimes fun to make a guest appearance on his profile, Janus’s comfort levels with the scrutiny of such a large audience varied. “Not my face today, but my hands are fine.”

“You got it, cutie.” Remus caught one of the hands in question and lifted it to his lips before Janus reclaimed it to its place on the steering wheel.

“Isn’t that the same thing you were just roasting Logan for?” Janus inquired, not bothering to hide their amusement.

“Yeah, but see, the difference is that I’m cooler than Logan, so it’s automatically good when I do it.”

Janus snickered. “Fair enough.”

“Mmkay, I’m going to film you driving for the TikTok now, okay?” Remus angled his phone towards the steering wheel, leaving Janus’s face out of the frame as requested.

“It is important that the youth see safe driving practices in action,” Janus said very seriously, both hands resting lightly on the steering wheel.

Remus snickered. “A rare Gay That Can Drive, observed in the wild.”

Janus’s lips quirked. “Indeed.”

The gelato place they both liked so much wasn’t very far away; before long, the pair of them were standing in line, hands clasped between them, Remus’s head resting on Janus’s shoulder as he filmed a shot panning over the flavors of the day.

“What are you getting?” Janus asked, kissing Remus’s temple.

“Mm, something spicy if they have it. Or chocolatey. I dunno, I haven’t actually read any of the signs yet.” Remus snickered. “I should probably do that.”

Janus laughed softly. “That might be a good idea, yes.”

“What about you?” Remus asked.

Janus, who had read every flavor on the list three times already even though there were only three flavors they ever actually ordered, shrugged. “Probably the rum raisin. They have that one you like with cayenne in it today.”

“Ooh, goody!” Remus did a little wiggle of excitement, and Janus laughed and leaned down to kiss him as the line moved forward.

Tomorrow, Patton would approach Remus and ask if the offer he and Janus had made still stood. Tomorrow, Janus and Remus would become Janus and Remus and Patton. Tomorrow would be full of emotions and conversations and new boundaries and new kisses and everything would be different but it would also in so many ways be delightfully the same.

But today, Janus only let go of Remus’s hand long enough to pay at the register. Today, they sat at a tiny round table just outside the door in the bright sunshine, little paper cups of gelato in hand. Today, Janus absolutely lost it, dissolving into helpless giggles, when Remus told them a cheesy pickup line just to see them smile. Today, Janus adjusted their jewelry and watched as Remus filmed the gelato on the table and their clasped hands beside it, and then filmed themself, leaning up out of the frame to kiss Janus first on the cheek and then sweetly on the mouth. Today, Janus watched Remus text a screenshot of the tiktok to Logan, five minutes after posting it.

Remus: 200 views already BITCH How does it feel to know we r a cuter couple than u and emo 😝

Logan: Social media views are not a measure of relationship quality, which I know you are fully aware of. Additionally, “cute” is a subjective term, and all parties in this conversation are biased. Ergo, this argument you insist on perpetuating can have no resolution and will only go around in circles. I would recommend you cease your futile attempts to convince me of your point of view. You will not succeed. also FUCK YOU SM how the FUCK do you always get so many views what sacrifices did u make to the algorithm gods omfg -v lmao logan is mad that i wont capitalize my texts while using his phone -v

Remus: Lmao nice

Remus turned off the phone and tucked it away in their pocket, turning their attention back to Janus. “How’s the gelato?”

“Good,” Janus said, delicately placing another spoonful in his mouth.

Remus grinned. “Can I have a taste?”

Janus stifled a smile and nodded; Remus leaned up to kiss him, licking eagerly into Janus’s mouth for a kiss that tasted of rum raisin and, very faintly, cayenne. Remus cradled the back of Janus’s neck in their hands. “You’re my favorite,” he hummed happily.

Janus closed their eyes and grinned. “You’re my favorite, too.”

Tomorrow would be new, but today? Today Janus had Remus and knew they always would, and today was good.

--

“Ta-da! What do you need?” 

Logan blanched for a moment, surprised at Remus’ willingness to completely delete Imaginings without a second thought. It usually took Roman ages to find a spot that he was okay with giving up on for Logan’s “projects”- which he always had thought was a little silly, seeing as he could bring it back when they were done. The change of pace was a pleasant one, though, so there was no need to dawdle for long. 

“I need a miniature fully-functioning model of our solar system. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Oh, totally,” Remus waved his hand and the request appeared suspended in the air, spread out to be the size of a dining table. All was accounted for- sun, moons, eight planets plus pluto- orbiting and spinning around each other. Imagination, by nature, had no real limits, but the detail was still a sight to behold every time. Logic smiled, surveying the set-up, before gesturing to the edge of their blank section.

“Thank you for the help, you may go.”

“May I now?” Remus conjured a seat for himself, staring at Logan with his chin resting on his hands, “You’re not even going to tell me what this is for? That’s just rude.”

Logan glanced up from the tiny earth he was inspecting, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

“You are welcome to stay, if you wish, but your brother usually leaves at this point. He says my experiments are-” he summons his notebook, “‘Bore-ifying’, which I assume is a portmanteau for ‘boring’ and ‘horrifying’.” 

“Roman’s a big baby!”

Logan shrugged, not disagreeing, and resumed his careful observation of the tiny model earth. Remus made no move to go, wheeling his chair even closer. The scientific side carried on before his new audience of one, hovering a hand over the little planet. Abruptly, it stopped spinning. Logan made a gesture with his hand that magnified the model significantly. 

The results were immediately catastrophic. Logan jotted a few observations down in his notebook, watching closely at the ways torrents of wind ripped up trees and buildings. In the back of his mind, he was faintly impressed by just how well-rendered ‘Dark’ Creativity’s earth was, down to the individual humans, brutalized by the storms. 

“Whoah, what the fuck?!” 

Logan looked up briefly to see Remus craning his head over the destruction of the stilled planet. His eyes were wide and bright with curiosity.

“Oh- I should probably explain. I come here, usually, to run some improbable scenarios as a sort of stress-reliever. Specifically, this one is what would happen if earth stopped spinning on its axis. As you can see, due to the earth no longer rotating at its usual speed, the wind would continue on at-” he cut himself off abruptly, sensing the beginnings of a ramble, “I’m sorry, I’ve been told that I have a tendency to ‘go off’ when a subject particularly interests me.”

Remus rolled his chair even closer, looking much like an excited animal (more so than usual, anyway).

“Well then, go off! Don’t leave me hanging! Is that really what would happen, just if it stopped?” He gestured enthusiastically to the way that the oceans had begun to crash against and consume shorelines. He looked interested- genuinely interested. 

Logan bit back a smile. He didn’t have to be told twice. 

 It was one of those particularly restless nights. For no foreseeable goddamn reason, Logic’s mind had become alight with enough half-formed thoughts and barely sensible ideas to fill a very, very weird book. The Imagination did wonders when he got like this, but it usually wasn’t two in the morning when he needed to use it. That wasn’t to say the circumstance was unheard of, but all times prior he could push the urge to investigate away with the reasoning that he could just ask Roman in the morning, and that the Creative side needed his ‘beauty sleep’, as he called it. There wasn’t anything he could do about that, was there?

Tonight was different. Logan could hear the occasional snap or tear or cackle from the room across from his. Remus’ room. 

It had been less than a week since The Duke let him use the darker half of the Mindpalace, and that was pretty much the only meaningful interaction they’d had in as many days. They weren’t close, Logan wasn’t even sure if they were friends (not that he was a good judge of that, given the first time Roman referred to them as ‘besties’ he had all but cried), but Remus was at the very least an option. He was also unlikely to mind, given that he was already awake and had exhibited excitement previously. 

Logan made up his mind after yet again failing to fall asleep. Quietly, he opened his door and took the few short steps across the hall, raising his fist. Remus’ door was open before his second knock. 

“Oh, hey! What are you doing, coming knocking at this hour?” he didn’t even try to whisper, accompanying his statement with an over-exaggerated wink. Logan didn’t waste his time trying to shush the side. 

“Good evening, I hope I’m not interrupting anything-”

“You know I don’t mind your ‘interruptions’, Twunk-y Megamind!”

“-But I was wondering if you would… Help me, again. I seem to be having a hard time getting to sleep, and I think that getting out some of my ideas could help.”

Remus’ face lit up dramatically. 

“Oh hell yes! Are we gonna blow up more planets?”

“Something like that,” he kept his voice monotone, disguising the relief and hint of pride at such a positive reaction. 

“Well, come on!”

Logan let himself be dragged into Remus’ room, barely having time to make note of the surprisingly organized layout before he was pulled through a sleek black door. 

“But you have to tell me about it,” he ordered, twisting them through narrow paths in his half of The Imagination. Logan suppressed a smile. 

“If you want to hear it, then I’m happy to.” 

Without warning, they stopped the breakneck pace that Remus moved at. The trait seemed appeased with their surroundings, though as far as Logan could tell it was just another piece of ever-shifting ominous landscape. 

Remus snapped his fingers. The scene remained intact. 

“Sorry,” he glanced around nervously, “Things get stuck in my head sometimes. Can’t get ‘em out. I’ll get it, I just-”

“It’s no trouble.” 

Logan rolled up his sleeves. He didn’t like using his ‘abilities’ much, as every side had some set of special skills, and all of them were much too ostentatious. But they were helpful, at times. He waved a hand, gesturing carefully so that he didn’t dismantle any more of The Imagination than was absolutely necessary. With a small stutter, the landscape shifted to a blank slate.

When he looked back up, Remus’ expression was not unlike that of a Cheshire cat.

“What was that?”

“I am Logic, therefore it follows that I am the antithesis to any Imagination creations. It’s very easy to erase them with just a bit of rationality.” 

“No clue what a lot of those words meant, but it’s still cool that you can destroy shit.”

Laughing was unbecoming, to say the least, and so the logical trait tended to avoid it at all costs. The snort that escaped him was entirely involuntary. 

If Remus noticed the noise, he said nothing about it. He was too busy bouncing from foot to foot, expectantly waiting for instructions. Logan cleared his throat of the outburst and clapped his hands together.

“Alright, let’s start with something simple…”

 At his request, Remus would construct immaculately detailed creatures, settings, and models, watching gleefully at the ordeals Logan put each one through. They tested various and progressively elaborate ways to sink populated cruise liners, they simulated the effects of falling from the Empire State Building, dissected approximations of obscure marine animals (a shared special interest of theirs, apparently), and any of the other unrealistic questions that occurred to the typically rational Logic. 

The only way to get such questions from his mind, he’d found out a long time ago, was deconstructing them one step at a time, to see them in their full ridiculousness. 

It was also, he was coming to realize, incredibly fun. 

Before the two knew it, the already late hour had turned unreasonable. Logan blinked owlishly at his watch, distracted from the tiny supernova that he’d created.

“Oh, I must have lost track of time,” four in the morning. Four in the morning! 

“Aw, does that mean we’re done?” Remus whined, yet he still began unmaking his small star system. 

Logan was suddenly very aware of the heaviness of his eyelids and a rubbery feeling in his limbs. God, was he tired. 

“I’m afraid so. I really should’ve gone to sleep hours ago.”

“Fine,” Remus dragged the word out with a groan, “But let me know next time you wanna fuck with space, or deep sea stuff, or anything like that.”

Next time. 

As much as Logan adored Roman, there was something very nice about having the more grim brother help him out with these experiments. For one, his creations were often much more accurate to the real world- likely because gore and destruction were that much more impactful when they were realistic. For two, he actually seemed to enjoy the work. 

Logan’s deliberation was brief. 

“I will.”

 As it happened, the night spent delving into dozens of ideas had purged Logan’s need to use The Imagination, for the time being. Clearly, Remus was not patient enough to wait for him.

He popped up, unannounced, in Logic’s room.

“Lo!!!”

The trait in question fell out of his office chair in a very undignified way. Not that there’s a particularly dignified way to fall out of a chair, but if there was, this definitely wouldn’t have been it. He ‘ate shit’, as the saying goes.

Out of pure embarrassment, Logan made no move to get off the floor.

“Hello, Remus,” he greeted, “How may I help you?”

The Duke laughed raucously, sprawling into the now-unoccupied chair and leaning over him. 

“You’re a riot, Dork,” then, added with glittering eyes, “Did you break anything?”

“No. Given that I am metaphysical, I’m not sure that I have bones.”

“I have bones!”

“Are they your bones?”

“They are bones and they are in my possession, yes.” 

Logan let the subject drop and repeated his first question. 

“Right, I forgot! I have an idea for an experiment!”

Logan thought that, despite his mild humiliation, it would probably benefit the conversation if he wasn’t lying on the ground, so he stopped doing that. Brushing mostly imaginary dust from his clothes, he shot Remus a bemused look.

“That’s nice. But I was asking you why you were here.”

The Duke’s face fell, almost imperceptibly.  

“I thought you’d wanna know, because of what you said last time. Isn’t this, like, a thing we do now? You know how shit works, and I know how to make that shit, and then you can tell me about it!” 

Oh. 

“Remember when you were talking about radiation the other day? You can’t just say stuff like that and then not expect me to want to try it out, so really this is on you. It’d be dumb not to let you in on it.”

Oh. 

He’d been listening to that rant? Moreover, he’d remembered it, and now had his own ideas and follow-up questions about it? 

Logan felt light-headed. 

“You’re probably too busy with work, huh? I guess my explosions don't have to be accurate, if you’re set on being boring,” Remus’ tone was nonchalant, but he was obviously lingering for attention. Logan then remembered that words are a thing, and people use them to communicate.

“No! I mean, yes- I mean, I’m not busy. I can join you, I- I’d like to, even,” the intelligent side heard a small voice in his head, his own miniature Virgil, screaming- what the fuck was that, get it together, Jesus, because he, despite what his fellow sides insisted, was absolutely nonfunctional when trying to form a friendship. 

Remus didn’t seem to notice or care much past his own cheer.

“Cool!” he, yet again, wasted no time in seizing Logan’s arm and yanking him away, “I wanted to see what would happen to animals and plants and stuff bunches of years after lots of radiation! Do you think they’d mutate? Get all twisted and fucked up so that they aren’t even recognizable as, say, a dog?”

Logan considered the question as he was led through the Mindpalace.

“Well, nothing would be able to live there at all. Additionally, anything within a little under a mile of the nuclear fallout- depending on a few variables- would be completely incinerated upon impact.”

“Like, flesh-melting incinerated?” 

“More like vaporized. The fireball would burn 10,000 times the heat of the sun.”

Remus went starry eyed, bringing them to a halt a mere five feet from the door. 

“I wanna see that,” he waved his hands around at their surroundings, “Can you do the white-out thing?” 

Logan, much less hesitant than last time, obliged. A small smile escaped him at the wondrous look on The Duke’s face. It was another form of expression he didn’t particularly care for, but containing his emoting was more trouble than it was worth by now. He couldn’t find it in him to care much either, for once. 

“Where do we start?” Remus prompted.

“You tell me. I will help you make it as accurate as possible, and provide any insight that you want, but it is your idea,” and he wanted to hear more about those ideas. Odd and violent, mesmerizing and clever. There was so much that he wanted to hear about, to talk about, to puzzle out together. 

Logan couldn’t remember the last time he’d had someone to share such interests with. Maybe, despite how deeply he cared for his ‘family’, as Patton called them- maybe it was never.

Remus chattered as he worked, disrupting the train of thought. Logan almost tuned it out- after all, everyone had grown perfectly used to The Duke’s rambling- but he caught himself. That was hardly how he should treat the side that was so strangely considerate to him, wasn’t it? 

Logan listened from then on. He began to add on to the conversation, corrections and elaborations and actual questions, because he actually didn’t know some of it. He didn’t regret the choice. 

By the end, Remus and Logan were sitting together in the smoldering ruins of their make-believe test town, exchanging notes for different variables they could use in the next trial. They only stopped when Logan was abruptly summoned away by Thomas. He excused himself, a bit apologetic, promising to visit again soon.

As he helped Thomas (with what really should have been a simple task, honestly), Logic wondered briefly about the origins of the hollow feeling that grew in his chest. Something distracted, longing, and unfamiliar. 

And then the oven caught fire, and the only thing he felt was annoyance with the man that he was somehow a component of. 

 So, that was that- Logan and Remus were friends, now spent regular time together, and shared interests. By all accounts, it was a simple and obviously positive development. 

But then there was Roman. 

“What’s wrong with my work? You’d really prefer whatever edgy 12-year-old DeviantArt account nonsense that he thinks up?”

Logan set his book down with a sigh and looked over to his doorway, where Roman stood with his hands on his hips.

“Come in, Roman, and thank you for knocking,” he snarked. The Creative side made a vaguely sassy noise, trotting right in and flopping backwards onto the bed. Without closing the door, the monster.

“I thought that building your Weird Science contraptions was our thing.”

Logan made a show of standing up and manually shutting his door before responding. 

“You don’t like my ‘contraptions’, as you call them.”

“Yeah, but I still made them for you! Because we’re friends, but I suppose you’ve forgotten all about that!” 

He really should have expected the melodrama. And yet, Logan had lived in a delusional world where he didn’t care about the most Extra being on earth.

With an eye roll, Logic dropped down beside Roman on the bed- though he wasn’t half as flamboyant about it. 

“I can have more than one friend.”

“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be your favorite! We’re supposed to hang out together! Do the friendship bracelets I made mean nothing to you?”

He flung his arm across Logan’s chest, a ‘friendship bracelet’ clearly visible on his wrist (a loose usage of the term, given that it was a solid gold band with inlaid sapphires, because of course it was).

Logan held up his arm as well, showing that his (silver with inlaid rubies) was still very much in use, despite his distaste for jewelry.

“We hang out plenty. It wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings by spending time with your brother. My reason for doing so is that he seems to take active enjoyment in building and learning about these things with me. He also makes very good conversation, in regards to the more, ah, eccentric experiments.”

Roman tossed his head to the side to watch Logan with narrowed eyes. After a pause, he linked their arms at the elbow. 

“Yeah, you would think that. You’re secretly just as much of a weirdo as him.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Oh please, I can barely keep up with a word that either of you say,” Roman headbutted Logan’s shoulder in what was likely another of his odd displays of affection. He let his head rest there for a minute, a rare instance of peace before he inevitably resumed talking. 

“Anyways-”

“Anyway,” Logan corrected.

“Anyways, if you nerds wanna talk about your weird, creepy experiments, then I guess that’s fine. But he isn’t allowed to co-opt anything else that we do together that we both actually like- no making fun of movies together, no Crofters jams, and no poetry-slash-rap battles.”

“Of course not, Roman. You will always be my favorite person to disagree with.”

“Love you, too,” Creativity bumped him again, then sat up to stretch. Logan snorted a laugh and considered shoving Roman off the bed, watching as he raised his arms up and straightened his back. Before the trait had the chance, unfortunately, his friend was already standing. 

“Leaving already? Weren’t you just going on about spending time together?”

“Nah, that was all I wanted to yell at you about for now. I’ve gotta go help Pat with dinner.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you.”

“Thanks, I won’t.”

“I hate you.”

“Ditto.”

Halfway out the door, Roman threw a glance over his shoulder.

“Oh, and whatever you two end up doing, do not give me the details. Please.”

Okay, finally, that really was that. Friendship established, blessings given, the end. A simple symbiosis.

Logan was thinking about the practical uses of medieval torture devices? Remus. He wanted to see exactly how long it would take your average healthy adult to succumb to drowning? Remus. Logan wanted to just rant, about anything and everything, his brain moving a mile a minute? Remus. They spent an inordinate amount of time together. 

Occasionally, when he didn’t even have the energy to converse, he would sit down with a book in the commons when he knew Remus was there and let the trait’s never ending word-vomit wash over him. It was an odd sort of intimacy, but that fit within the theme of their dynamic. Like he said, simple symbiosis. 

And that was when the not-very-platonic fondness grew. And Logan, to his own surprise, allowed it to. 

After deep consideration he had seen no reason not to; Remus wouldn’t judge him, not ever. It put a name to the hollow longing that occurred whenever he, eventually, had to get back to work and part from their talks. 

He hadn’t sorted out what to do about the feeling yet, but he felt no urgency. 

Logan’s book lay forgotten in his lap, that morning being one of the quiet ones as he reflected on his unfamiliar emotions. It was almost nice, letting such affection curl up in his chest and settle there.

His contemplation was broken by a sharp jab to his shoulder.

“Are you listening to me?”

He tilted his head at Remus.

“Sorry, I got distracted.”

“What were you thinking about?” his eyes lit up, very obviously hoping for it to be something disgusting. Logan glanced away, given that he didn’t even like eye-contact in the best of circumstances. 

“Nothing important. You have my attention now.”

Remus rolled his eyes with a huff, apparently genuinely irritated. 

“Well now I forgot what I was saying.”

“Let’s backtrack: what were you talking about before?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s fine, we can talk about something else.”

The irritation had grown to something unrecognizable to Logan- frustrating, given how closely he tried to study body language. He felt a stab of guilt as Remus stood up from his spot.

“It probably didn’t matter. I’m gonna go annoy Janus.”

“Oh,” Logan’s voice was small, “Alright, then.”

He was already gone.

That was… concerning. Not to mention bewildering; Remus didn’t just pass up opportunities to talk! He didn’t just leave, not even when he wasn’t wanted! Logan really hadn’t thought his zoning out would earn such a reaction. 

But he was far from perceptive about emotional problems. There was no way to know if it was anything to throw a fit over. For all he knew, it was just an off-day. He couldn’t always expect his friend to be rambunctious and energetic, even if that was a big part of his personality. 

The issue would likely resolve itself.

 The issue did not do that. It did the polar opposite, speeding from mildly concerning to downright frightening at a whiplash-inducing pace.

Remus barely asked questions and almost never offered insight, as he usually did when they spent time together. In fact, his contributions had become rare and unenthusiastic enough that he could have passed as neurotypical, however disturbing the thought was. And that was when they did end up spending time together, which was becoming less and less often, much to the dismay of one significantly smitten smart side.

Something was very clearly wrong with Remus. Not the demented, destructive, mildly endearing and unhinged sort of wrong. It was the wrong sort of wrong.

Logan was hesitant to confront him outright. After a couple weeks of careful consideration, a more subtle solution occurred to him, as he idly flipped through a very graphic murder-mystery late into the night. Something bloody, and awful, and very much Remus’ taste. He set the novel down, knowing full well that his friend would be wide awake as he made his way across the hall.

“Remus?” he knocked at the side’s door, wearing a smile much wider than he usually liked. He was more than willing to express exuberance, if there was even the slightest chance that it would be infectious.

The door decidedly did not fly open. Rather, after a good deal of wrapping at it, Remus slowly pulled it back and poked his head out.

“Oh. Hey.”

Logan didn't dwell on the concern that reaction brought. He had something that would cheer Creativity up, of that he was sure.

“I have a test tonight- it’s going to be very messy,” he began, searching the impulsive trait’s eyes for any signs of interest. There was the slightest glint, but not much more. 

“So, you want me to make stuff for you?” His speech was monotonous. 

“Yes, that was the idea. It’s going to be gory.”

Hardly a reaction. All Remus did was open the door the rest of the way to allow Logan inside. Clearly, he had underestimated just how poorly his friend felt.

“Alright, I’ll set it up for you. Just don’t take too long, I was actually hoping to use my part of the Mindscape today.”

Logan nodded, very taken aback. He couldn’t ignore the slight hurt at the cold, dismissive tone (the irony of that wasn’t lost on him).

They stepped foot into The Imagination and immediately Remus stopped, destroying whatever had been in front of them- which was usually fine, it was just how he operated, but normally out of enthusiasm, not apathy. Maybe this was more than could be fixed with some blood and guts.

“What do you need?”

Logan conjured a tiny notebook, giving a tentative smile. Still, he was giving this plan a shot.

“Operating table,” one appeared before him, sleek metal with rolly legs, “A standard set of surgical tools,” he looked up to gauge Remus’ interest, but his expression still hadn’t changed as he continued to create, “A human corpse, and then we can get started.”

With a wave, a perfectly generic body fell onto the table, but Logan’s attention remained on The Duke.

“Great, have fun, let me know when you’re finished.”

Logan faltered, watching him turn to leave.

“You- you aren’t going to stay and do this with me?”

“You want me to?” Remus crossed his arms over his chest and fixed Logan with a gaze that could (figuratively) wilt flowers.

“I- Yes? If you aren’t at all interested right now, then I can save this experiment for another day?” Yeah, this wasn’t working, but Logan had no backup.

“No, no, don’t wait for me, you’ve already got everything you need, right?”

“I mean- technically, yes, but it- it wouldn’t be the same.”

Remus cackled, sounding quite like the cartoonish villain that he often acted as. It hurt to listen to.

“So that’s what this is about! Let me just fix you up, then!” 

He snapped, and a blank humanoid form appeared at his side. It tilted its faceless head curiously at Logan, who recoiled.

“Not good enough? Is a hunk of nothing too unrealistic for you?” he snapped again, and the being suddenly transformed to match its creator exactly. 

Nearly exactly: it wore an enthusiastic grin, eyes wide and sparkling, rather than the steadily building fire that raged in real-Remus’ eyes. It spoke in a disgustingly cheery tone.

“Wow, tell me more! Show me that again? What happens when you do that? You’re just so interesting, Lo!” 

Remus watched the creation, a look of one part pride and a million parts resentment.

“Is that what you want? It’s just like me, but without any of the hassle of being another person that you have to deal with! And this one, you really can get rid of whenever you want, isn’t that great?”

Logan looked between the two, a fearful understanding creeping up his spine. There was something he was missing here, wasn’t there?

“No,” he muttered, half to the fake-Duke and half to the real one. 

“No?” Remus spat, circling his mirror, “No, of course, you’re so right. This isn’t nearly enough.”

He made an elaborate gesture, and about a dozen more Creativities appeared, surrounding them. Logan stumbled back from them, nearly tripping on the operating table that they’d previously made. When he looked up, the real Remus was approaching him with an expression that fought its way between guilt and indignation. It was all at once heart-wrenching and frightening. 

Logan tried to right himself, tried to look unaffected and certain of himself, as he raised his voice. He would not let this go a step farther, despite his confusion.

“Stop,” and with that, a wave rocked across The Imagination, and all was erased. In the aftermath he stood before a teary-eyed Remus (just the one, though), uncharacteristically looking like a stiff wind would knock him right over.

“What’s wrong? I gave you what you wanted!”

Logan reeled.

“Why would you think I wanted any of that?” 

“You wanted an experiment, I gave you one! You wanted a willing audience, I gave you twelve! But I guess I just get everything wrong, right?”

“You know that isn’t true,” Logan felt choked, his words clumsy. It was foreign and horrible and disgusting, but he’d trudge through it all if it meant fixing whatever he’d done wrong. It couldn’t have just been him losing focus once? Could it? 

“Oh, of course, I do just enough to be useful. So I’ve got that right; I’m a good utensil. Is it so much to ask that people would care about me, not just what I can do?” he posed a rhetorical oozing with vitriol, but it quickly evaporated into something much more desperate, “What if it’s my fault? It was my idea, I wanted to help. I don’t know why I thought you’d care past all that, did I give you a reason to? I can’t remember. It might make more sense that way, if I were the problem, wouldn’t it?”

Logan was running out of time to fix this, watching Remus curl in on himself, barely keeping from falling to the floor. He had no clue how The Duke had reached the conclusion that he didn’t care about him! They spent nearly all their free time together: sitting next to each other just to have the company, throwing each other tricky and often troubling questions to answer, constantly toiling away at things in The Imagination. Sometimes, they didn’t even need to talk, they just worked together in rapt silence; Remus did the creating and Logan arranged his work just so, and- Wait. Wait. Wait.

Logan didn’t need to talk, or touch, for that matter. Perhaps it was a mistake to presume the same for such a needy, affectionate, boisterous side? 

No, not perhaps, it was a huge mistake. A major fuck-up, if you will. 

He’d thought, if the blunt side had needed such comforts, surely he would initiate it? He hardly shied away from anything, except, well. 

Except. Feelings. 

God, he was the dumbest smart person in the world.

“Oh, Remus…”

The Duke’s head jerked up, continuing his back-and-forth of desperation and rage. 

“I don't need your pity!”

Logan sighed, twisting the end of his tie in frustration. 

“That isn't what I'm offering,” he took a breath before continuing, linking the words together so it would come out right. “I'm so sorry, I didn't take into account how you would interpret our interactions. I thought it was obvious that I cared for you, that I didn't need to say it outright. Clearly… I was wrong. So, if you need more than what I previously expressed- which I'm now realizing was very little in the eyes of someone who is not me- then I am happy to provide that for you.” 

Remus was shaken, a good deal of his ire slipping away. Whether that was good or bad remained unclear.

Before it could be overthought, Logan crossed the remaining few feet between them and brought his arms around The Duke in his loose approximation of a hug. The trait froze, but he didn't pull away. 

Physical affection, check. 

“I value your companionship more than I'm entirely sure how to verbalize. You understand me in a way that most others don’t seem to. While your ability to make detailed creations is very helpful, it is hardly the only thing I appreciate about you. 

“For one, you make me laugh. A lot. More than I'm used to. Additionally, you can easily match the pace with which I speak, or change topics! And, you are so much smarter than you make yourself out to be,” Logan finished the spiel with a smile, genuinely proud at his ability to articulate such… sentimental things, with relative ease. Words of affirmation, check.

He snapped back to attention when Remus brought shaking hands up to Logan's chest. For a moment, he worried that Remus would shove him away. The fears dissipated when all he did was bunch the front of Logan's shirt in his hands and hold on tight. 

“Do you mean that,” his volume was low, “Or do you just want me to calm down?”

Logan tightened his grip around him and, following a motion that he'd seen Patton employ many times to great success, he rubbed up and down his back.

“I understand that it might be hard for you to trust me, but I promise I'm not lying to you. I would have to be pretty awful to do something like that, wouldn't I?”

Hesitantly, Remus nodded against his collar. A good sign, but there was one thing left he had to say. 

“And- If you need further convincing- then you should know. I love you.”

Remus stilled. He then unfisted his hands from Logan's shirt. It was an anticipatory second before he threw his arms around the logical trait and finally returned the hug. His hold was crushing, and it was the most comforting thing that Logan had ever felt. 

They were okay.

“I'm sorry I-” 

Logan didn’t let him finish the apology. 

“Don't be. You didn't know how I felt, because I hadn't communicated it in a way you understood. That is hardly your fault.”

Remus nodded again, remaining much quieter than he’d probably ever been in his entire existence.

They held each other for longer than either would like to admit, speaking softly. 

“Thanks,” was muttered against Logan’s shoulder. 

“Of course. Just so you know, I'm more than willing to do this again whenever you need reassurance.”

“It might be a lot,” his tone was turning more mischievous, more him, “Are you sure you can handle that?”

“Absolutely.”

Logan hardly minded having an opportunity to gush about Remus to Remus. Not to mention, the physical affection was even nicer than he'd imagined it being. And oh, had he imagined it. 

Remus' face returned to his usual ever-present zeal, and he ended their hug to bounce in place. 

“Great! I'm good now! We can get on with that autopsy you wanted to show me- there better be buckets of blood!”

Logan shifted his weight. 

“Maybe we should save that for another day.”

“Oh,” Remus' face fell the smallest bit, “Okay.”

Logan was quick to amend:

“By that I mean, I have something better in mind.”

 Remus curled himself up in Logan’s lap, his eyes barely focused on the TV as the side carded his hands through his tangled mop of hair. Final Destination 3 played on the television (he had assured Logan that they didn't need to see the first two, and he was mostly right), serving as an excuse for the two to drink in each other's company. 

It was right in the middle of a particularly graphic rollercoaster scene that Remus took Logan's hands from his hair to hold them, twisting around to face him.

“Is something wrong, Remus?”

“You told me you loved me,” he stated blankly. 

“Yes, I did.”

“I didn't say it back!”

“No, you didn't,” it hadn't been the most important matter at the time, really. “You don't have to say it. It's perfectly okay if you don't feel the s- Mmph!”

Remus smashed their lips together, holding the sides of Logan's face (disrupting his glasses in the process) and pulling him forward harshly. 

Logan, for less than a second, was floored. And then Remus tilted his head to deepen the already heated kiss, and the situation properly clicked. Logan reciprocated, slightly uncertain in his movements, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. 

Remus smiled against him. He nipped at Logan's lower lip with sharpened teeth, eliciting a very embarrassing yelp. Logic let his lips part in response as his thoughts grew fuzzier by the second. 

The (somewhat clumsy) open-mouthed kiss lasted right until they absolutely had to break, separating for air. Neither moved very far, letting their foreheads rest against each other and all but panting for breath.

“I love you so fuckin' much, nerd,” when Remus spoke, their lips brushed ever so slightly, “Just so you know.”

“I picked up on that, yes.” 

“A little clarity never hurts, right?”

Logan chuckled at the reference to his own sentiments, but the sound was abruptly cut off when Remus kissed him properly again. 

When they broke apart, he explained how 'stupid-cute' that laugh was. And Logan, only half-joking (since when did he joke at all?), said that he’d have to do it more often.

Banter came easily to them, despite the raw undercurrent that still laced their conversation. Although, neither of them had ever found it difficult to talk; talk about the first thing that came to mind and the last thing that would come to anyone’s mind, talk about exceedingly simple nonsense and topics so intricate that they wound up sounding like nonsense, just talk.

So things would stay mostly the same. They would ramble to each other when no one else could stand to hear such disturbing things. They would sit, working side by side, running through plans and ideas and results at rapid-paced speech. They’d speak, and they would listen, when even their closest friends couldn’t manage such patience.

Only now, sometimes the rushed words might turn soft. Now, all that ranting might be more substantial than anyone would at first see. Now, they’d still listen, but leaned close together, gazes impossibly fond.

But then, on occasion, they would find that there were things far more fun than talking to do together.