#adhd!brian

Brian and John! They both had things for building! The two of them could spend hours on the floor building one of those intense lego sets with a thousand pieces in blissful silence. They’d hand the instructions back and forth and work on different parts of the set and would forget to eat because of how in the zone they are. The only breaks are stimming breaks when they’re so excited or a little frustrated as they struggle to find a small lego. 

Christmas time is probably one of their favorite times of year. They buy each other kits and sets and spend hours at each others houses building away. 

This popped into my head:

Brian has on his reading glasses. He’s in the living, looking down at his phone, quietly singing and bopping his hip out to Baby Shark.

“Baby shark do do do do do do, Baby shark do do do do do do...haha..love that little guy...”

John comes running in and screams, “THE QUESADILLAS ARE ON FIRE WHERE ARE YOU???” and then he runs back out of the room. He hears the fire extinguisher go off followed by more screaming.

Brian hurries to the kitchen to see his quesadillas, which he worked so hard over, charred and small, almost like lumps of coal. And his husband won’t stop screaming because he has anxiety and that’s just how John deals with it.

“I’M TAKING AWAY YOUR COOKING PRIVILEGE FOREVER THAT WAS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH. WHAT WERE YOU DOING?” John screeches.

What was Brian doing?

He went on google to look up how to make a sour cream dip for the quesadillas and then he went on twitter to look at the baby fox rescue which led him to instagram and he saw a shark rescue and then he went on youtube to see a longer video of the shark rescue and then autoplay when to baby shark (do do do do do do).

“I don’t know,” Brian said, instead of listing all of that. 

John screamed a little more.

“So sorry, love. I’ll clean up and take you to that nice Mexican restaurant down the road,” Brian said, a tiny bit embarrassed but it’s been 40 years of this. It was hard to be too shocked anymore. All the pans and pots that were charred beyond repair...

John screamed but then he went to go get changed.

Yes!! John loves nothing more to appease Brian by doing his stims with him. Especially getting to play with his hair...it’s so bouncy and Brian loves it. Win/win.

During band meetings, the two naughty kids are always Brian and John for getting distracted while stimming. Brian’s bouncing in his seat while John’s gently pulling on Brian’s curls and they haven’t been paying attention for the past 20 minutes because fun fun fun. 

I’m so sorry anon, but I can only picture Freddie or Brian going wild for scented candles 😂 Roger and John probably consider those car scent trees a candle they’re so dumb olfnlj

But can we imagine Brian and Freddie going absolutely wild as they walk into a Yankee Candle together on the first day of fall? There are so many orange, brown, red, purple and cream colored candles. This is where they belong. 

The store smells like spice and pumpkins and apples and crunchy leaves and the both of them are literally vibrating. It may not be physically possible to sniff every candle in the store, but by god will they try their damnedest. 

Their buzzing around the store filling their baskets with jumbo candles and tea candles and waxes and candle holders.

Freddie finds a halloween candle with not 1, not 2 but 3 wicks!! And it smells like green apple!!! And he makes Brian sniff it and Brian gets himself 2 of those.

And Brian found the most delightful pumpkin pie candle with the right balance between sweetness and spice. Freddie gets a whiff of it and is in heaven.

The two of them have their baskets filled to the brim. Freddie knows Jim won’t give a hoot so he can go a little crazy with the candle decorations but Brian knows Anita is trying to keep their house somewhat decent looking so he sticks mostly to candles. 

As they pay for their hoard, they’re rocking on their feet and bouncing in place, giggling together like school girls. 

Okay, I’ll just sit down and write out some chords, Brian thought to himself, sitting down at his dining room table, pen and paper in hand. Freddie had written a new song and needed some help with the guitar section.

He read over the notes before pressing his pen down and-

Oh, silly me. I’ve been needing to do this dishes for a while now. I’ll do them.

Brian got up and went to the kitchen sink, starting the faucet. He’d vigorously scrubbed through half the dishes before he remembered he needed to call Roger about something, which he couldn’t remember.

He dried his hands, scurrying over to the phone and dialing Roger’s number. Upon reminding Roger of the important thing. Roger informed him they had already fixed the van last week, didn’t he remember? Oh. Well, it’s still a good day to talk to his best friend. So the two chatted for over an hour before the drummer had to go.

Brian felt real happy after that talk he had. He decided he’d make some lunch and watch the telly for a bit b-

I’ve forgotten to write back my mum! 

He ran back to the table, pushing aside the music sheets to write his mom a letter. They didn’t live far away but she insisted on having correspondence with him. Brian never minded it, finding it quite adorable in fact.

So he settled down, writing out the date and “Hello, mum,” in his best script.

His stomach grumbled, reminding him that lunch couldn’t wait any longer. Without a seconds hesitation, he got up and padded to the kitchen, concocting a lunch of a sandwich and coffee, throwing in as many dishes into the sink as he had just cleaned earlier.

After he had satisfied his hunger, he leaned back, scratching his chin, looking around. Now, what was I doing?

His house was a mess.

The phone was dangling by the cord, letting out a faint and constant beep.

The table was strewn with papers and letters, half written notes and half opened envelopes.

The kitchen fared no better, a never ending pile of dishes in the sink, food left out on the counters.

This was Brian’s normal, but..it didn’t feel normal.

Since as long as he could remember, he was like this. Going, going, going, all day until he dropped from exhaustion late at night. He’d start things and never finish them. Not that he didn’t want to or that they weren’t important. He just couldn’t stay focused on anything long enough.

His mind was jumping from thought to idea to goal to joke, never ending. He’d forget something as soon as you said it or as soon as he thought it. He’d impulsively do things, his brain unable to think of the consequences before hand.

He lived life in this tunnel, it felt. Only going forward to the next thing, unable to go back.

He must’ve been going crazy. He must’ve already been crazy his whole life.

With his head in his hands, he groaned. 

“I’ve gone mad, Fred. I can’t do this anymore,” Brian confessed to the older, leg shaking as he sat in a chair opposite to Freddie.

Freddie just smiled, head tilting. He grabbed Brian’s hand and gave it a soft pat.

“Darling, you haven’t gone mad. You’re perfectly sane,” he said comfortingly.

Brian shook his head, snatching his hand back, using it to rub his face with irritation. 

“I have, I really have. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I d-” he was interrupted.

“I do know what’s wrong. You’re hyperkinetic. Like me,” Freddie said with a smirk.

Brian cocked an eyebrow, lips tightening. “H-Hyperkinetic?” he asked slowly, the word foreign on his tongue.

“Yes! Hyperkinetic. It’s an illness, darling. Means, well, you’re hyper. Can’t stop running around, forgetting things, doing impulsive things, can’t even sit still. It’s a diagnosis I received as a child,”

Brian shook his head as he processed Freddie’s words. Him and Freddie were quite similar in behavior. They never stood still, fidgeting about, forgetting and remembering together. Brian thought though, that Freddie was just flamboyant. That it was all just an act.

It made sense that it wasn’t.

“S-So...” Brian once again struggled for words. Freddie happily continued.

“You’re hyperkinetic. It’s not all that bad once you understand it, dear. There’s a medicine out there for it and some things you can do to help. God knows I’d be a mess without it,”

Brian just continued to nod, dumbfounded about it all.

Brian did collect himself and the two talked well into the night. Brian was thrilled to know that there were answers and solutions to everything he was going through. He was even more excited to know that someone he trusted had the same affliction. It made him seem less alone.

Freddie helped him schedule an appointment with a doctor and by the end of the month, he had a prescription for Cylert and some coping strategies. Hyperkinetism, later known as ADHD, was life long. But it wasn’t a life sentence to misery. Not in the slightest. Sure, ADHD had it’s pitfalls, but it had it’s advantages. Brian learned to wield and use those to his benefit.

Brian loves the way his ringlets feel. Each loop has a firmness to it but with a beautiful amount of give when squished. He loves playing with his roots the most. They're the most springy since they're the least damaged from brushing and gels and what not.

His fingers are always playing in his hair. The sensations are just too addicting. It's his way to self soothe, self regulate and to keep him happy too. It's just what he does! It keeps him focused too, so he figures nobody could find a reason to complain.

But people always do. Managers and CEO's and business partners and even random people on the street will always have to make some sort of snide comment about his stimming. Claiming that he's not paying attention, when he is. Or saying playing with one's hair is a girly thing to do. Or complaining about how distracting it is.

Every single comment cuts like a knife. Brian is so sensitive about things concerning his ADHD. He knows he has some less than desireable traits. He knows he can come off as obnoxious, air headed, rude, whatever. He knows that. And he tries so hard to be "good". Take his meds. Be self aware. But he's not perfect. And when people hate on the few things that he does that he knows isn't hurtful or bad, he gets so wounded.

The boys on the other hand have none of it. If someone dares to make a comment like that in front of them, they go red faced. Freddie and Rog will tell them where to stick it and John usually gives them a mean mug.

In private though, they remind Brian that he's fine the way he is. The things he does aren't bad, they're what make him, him! Even when he's bouncing off the walls, jumping from task to task. Even when he's stuck in something trivial due to hyper focus. It's all wonderful and nothing ever should make him feel lesser.

Especially the stimming. If he wants to play with his hair until it falls off, by god should he! Does it make him happy? Yes. Does it hurt anyone including himself? Nope.