Franco & Addie vs the Home Depot
Why in the fuck is it that when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a sledgehammer it's "art" and "music" .... But when I do it I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot?" It was true, James Franco was a train wreck waiting to happen. And he felt like every one in the media was just waiting for it, maybe counting on it. He might've even given a fuck or two, had he actually had a modicum of respect for what they did. But he'd learned early on that most of the 'people' (he used the term loosely) in the business of writing about celebrities were just sharks lying in wait, ready to pounce at the first sniff of anything damning. "They're like sharks stalking their prey in the tall African grass...shark-lions!" He muttered to himself while making little cat claws with his hands." He was sitting in the back of the store, sprawled on a shelf that was half full of flamingos and other summer lawn ornaments. He couldnt even remember how he'd gotten there, but there was the vague sense of some pink vitamins that he'd taken with his morning smoothie. The woman with the Home Depot manager tag had a frown so deeply set into her skin that he wondered if her face had been frozen into that death grimace for most of her adult life. She grabbed his arm harder than anyone had in a long time and he suddenly choked into the travel mug that he was still tightly gripping, probably inhaling the nacho dust that she could smell on his hands -- or so the manager probably would have thought, if his cough hadn’t sounded like the word ‘bullshit’. Before she could stop to wonder if he was laughing at her, he was off on a quiet tangent, looking down as if it made him invisible. She reached out to grab him again, prodding him to leave and threatening that the police had already been called, when he saw Addie; he'd only met her once at a party but she was unmistakable. "Wait, wait...that's my friend over there." He motioned desperately towards her. "Yeah, she was supposed to be meeting me here to return a Christmas tree." There was the slight motion of a hiccup as he pleadingly caught the brunette's attention.
