#adaliasinclair

I’m glad the star journal has been working out well for you, but I’m very sorry to hear that about your grandfather, you have my utmost sympathy.

And for days when things don’t go to plan, I leave myself notes so that I can look back and know that things were going on that were outwith my control, so that I don’t ever look back and think “wow I did nothing, I must be worthless”, which is, unfortunately, a common thought that runs through my head, even when I know it isn’t true.

For example, last week I was fairly ill from being on my period, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to push myself. So I took the time to do what I could, and noted down things like “self-care day” or “blogging day” or “physical therapy and rest”. The week before I had two hospital appointments that took all my energy, so I noted those down, so that I wouldn’t look back, see the lack of stars and feel bad. And there are some days where there is a scattering of stars, and then there are some days where are there are none and that is fine. Because the truth is, even when you maybe aren’t getting to do the things you want or feel you ought to be doing, you’re still doing a lot. Whether it’s taking care of yourself or taking time out to adjust or coping with the imminent loss of a loved one, you’re doing important things, and you should acknowledge them as such.

hehehehehe

Your mother must have had a wonderful sense of humor, in shines in the way you've drawn her

on the inside of the card, i included the terry pratchett quote,

“it’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.”

First off, thank you for sending this ask! Writing this honestly made me remember why I loved Hellblade so much in the first place. Hence the reason my response got away from me so much.

So here’s the thing. I’m gonna sit here and write you a long essay on why Hellblade is best experienced with headphones, and then I’m gonna tell you to try it anyway. 

First, the bad: there is one level, about halfway through, where Senua is in almost-total darkness and you’re meant to rely mostly on audio cues. It’s also a stealth level, though the enemies are all stationary or slow-moving and only detect you if you get close.

That said, the screen isn’t black. The devs stated that they originally wanted to make the level without ANY visuals, but realized that was too difficult, so there are some fuzzy, distorted things you can ABSOLUTELY navigate by. I remember feeling irked/disappointed that I didn’t need to rely on sound more. I think you could get through the level just fine; it might somewhat more frustrating without the ability to specifically hear where sounds are coming from, but I don’t think it’d be a real problem. If you want to get an idea, here’s a walkthrough of that level. 

(It’s also a pretty short level. Hellblade will last you maybe 8 hours, and the darkness trial level is… like… maybe 15 minutes? 30? It’s been a while since I’ve played so I could be off there)

BUT. This is not the reason I recommend people play Hellblade with headphones.

There is a MASSIVE emphasis on sound design in Hellblade. The entire game has binaural audio. All. The. Time. Senua hears voices, and you will hear these voices CONSTANTLY in constantly-moving 3-d sound; the devs did a lot of research and discussion with people who experience psychosis, and the audio is meant to simulate what it can be like for schizophrenics to hear voices. I honestly can’t think of another video game where sound is so integrated and essential in a non-combat way.

(Watch this video if you want to hear the dev team talk more about how and why they did this)

For me, the 3-d sound added a LOT to the emotional experience of the game. It gave me literal chills, but more than that, it REALLY forced me into Senua’s shoes. Disembodied voices become a lot more personal and real-feeling when they’re whispering right into your ear from a position that that’s often directly behind you and uncomfortably fucking close.

The reason I recommend playing Hellblade with headphones isn’t really a technical one. It’s never (really) because you need to hear which direction a sound is coming from. It’s because without headphones, you’re not gonna get the same intimacy with Senua’s voices; without binaural audio, you’re not gonna get the weird disorienting, paranoid, swirling effect. Headphones help the player feel what Senua is feeling and make the experience more raw and immersive and… better, honestly.

TL;DR –

You can ABSOLUTELY play Hellblade without headphones and only being able to hear out of one ear. For sure. There’s one short level that might be annoying, but I don’t think it’s by any means undoable.

But I do feel like Hellblade is deliberately designed to be experienced with headphones and directional sound. Not as a gameplay mechanic, but as a storytelling one. I do think you’d miss out on something. Emotionally. (I’ve only ever played with headphones so I can’t say how much.)

BUT! But, but, but. 

HELLBLADE IS A FUCKING AMAZING GAME. It’s the video game that I think of whenever I want to get all passionate and soapbox-y and talk about Games That Are More Than Just Games ™. It makes a very strong case for games as art; if I can get pretentious for a moment, it makes a very strong and needed case for games that can help us explore the human experience. It would be utterly gatekeeping and shitty of me to tell you that you should bypass this game because you might not be getting the ~~ full intended effect ~~. Fuck. That. This is the game that I shove at EVERYONE as an example of what the medium of video games can allow us to do.

Please. Play Hellblade. Give it a shot. Play it with headphones or play it without. It’s a fucking masterpiece.

lmao, i mean, there’s not much, people know too much about me and frankly my condolences to all of you on that front

I have a birth defect that literally looks like a pointed ear, I’m totally down to betray humankind to become one of the fey. Aaaany time now.

Awww, this makes me happy! Particularly because I’ve been chronicling it FOR SO LONG NOW MY GOD I’VE BEEN MOVING FOREVER