#acute arc

81: Anyway. You've been self-aware? This whole time? Magenta: Duh. What sane writer puts a ninja in a comic book about sports-playing superheroes? This is the 70's we're talking about, you think *I* would've gotten past the publishers? -- Magneta: No, I came across Ballville while dimension-hopping after breaking out of my source material. You guys made me laugh, so I decided to stick around. -- 81: What's the point of being around characters if you're self-aware? Magenta: You all were important to me. I wanted to repay the favor, somehow. So I tried to help. -- 81: But how, though? If characters in this universe can never change, how could you help? Wouldn't we have been doomed to go the way of the narrative no matter what you did? Magenta: That *is* how it went. Every time. No matter how hard I tried. -- 81: How could you just keep going, knowing you're playing a losing game? What was the point of it all, Magenta? Magenta: The point is that, sapient or not, you were still my friends. Even if you were just fictional characters in a comic book made to cater to some, you were still my friends. -- Magenta: At some point in the beginning, I believed that if I really tried hard enough, I could save you. Some of you. At least one of you. ... ...Huh. I guess even after becoming self-aware, I'm still perpetuating the laws of this universe, aren't I? Doing the same thing over and over expecting something to change. Ha. Isn't that funny.

Magenta: You know how before you left, Ballman was torn up about Boxxer and Daisy going missing? 81: Yeah? Magenta: I think… they might've gotten out. Somehow. 81: You're serious? - Magenta: They're nowhere to be found in Ballville. Maybe it's just wishful thinking. But I hope they're doing okay. They deserve to be free, after everything. - 81: So just boss is left? Magenta: That's right. 81: …What are you going to do? Magenta: … - Magenta: I can't leave him there. No matter what, I can't. He deserves a second chance too. It's not fair if he doesn't. 81: Knowing him he'd say some shit like "well, life's not fair". Magenta: That's what the writers want you to think. It stops you from changing. Stops you from wanting better for yourself. I'm going to try to get him out of there. - Magenta: I think I might have a chance. You're living proof of that. You shouldn't be tied down to your boss, that's true. But he shouldn't be tied down to the canon he's trapped in. Both of you deserve better.

81: And I'd say this to his face if I could. I know how he'd react. (mimicking Ballman) "Blah blah blah, 81 you're so useless and ungrateful and yadda yadda yadda." He sent me here knowing he could've been sending me to death, and now that he's realized he's thrown away the last person in his family, he wants to know if I survived? And wants me to *come home*? Are you fucking kidding me? That's rich. -- (81 in flashbacks: "B-Boss? No, not really. He... He's been sleeping in a lot more. He's getting nicer to me, though. He doesn't hit me with his attacks nearly as much." | "Besides, well, er, you get it! I'll be leaving anyway! I'll do anything to leave and return to my boss!) 81: So no, I'm not going. You might as well tell him I died in a fiery blaze or something. -- (??? in flashback: "I've fucking had it with being a character!! I want to be ME!!”) 81: I'm so fucking tired of being someone's tool. -- 81: And if you come back asking again I'm just gonna kick the shit out of you. So goodbye. See you never. -- Magenta: 81. 81, 81, 81. You have to listen to me. 81: Oh my god. What do you- Magenta: You're free. -- 81: I... I'm what? -- Magenta: Do you even realize what you just said?! 81, you did it! You broke the fourth wall! You're self-aware!

81: To answer your question I guess I don't like... hate Boxxer anymore? I dunno? Mark and Boxxedman have been nothing short of kind to me. I know they're not the same person, exactly, but. (Arrow pointing to Boxxedman with the label "guy who literally saved my life". Arrow pointing to what is supposed to be Mark with the label "guy who has had every reason to snap at me for being a cunt but never has".) -- Magenta: What about the clone massacre? 81: That kinda sucks, I guess. Well more than kind of. It really sucks. But what you've been saying has me questioning the actions of what happened in my own canon. Like, the clone massacre seemed very real to me, and I suppose it still is, but now that I'm aware, it just kind of... seems like small potatoes now. Like "wow I got really worked up over this thing that never really mattered in the end." -- 81: Because I was probably gonna end up the last of the clones either way, right? So does it make much of a different if it's Boxxer killing the rest of us as opposed to like, a disease wiping us all out or something? And if Boxxer was just a character too, then... he was written to do all of that. That wasn't something he did on his own. -- 81: So I guess everything I've ever known or done before coming here is a lie and I'm trying to pick out the truth from the lies. Or something. Magenta: NOW you're thinking outside the box! -- Magenta: You're a fast learner, kid. 81: ...We're the same age. Magenta: Is that what you think? You're a card. 81: ?

81: So how do I know, right now, that U-Gore isn't trying to trick me into believing I have free will, like he did with the Knights? Magenta: U-Gore wouldn't allow you to change. It's antithetical to the world he wants to create. -- Magenta: Allow me to posit something. Earlier you said you would consider Mark a friend. 81: I did say that, yes. -- Magenta: But that doesn't track with what we already know about you from your own source material. The 81 we know from Panic in Ballville hates Boxxer more than anything. See, look, he's even in your "Dislikes". Along with "Justice". 81: ...Whoever wrote this sure was laying it on thick. -- Magenta: 81, do you actually hate Boxxer? OR Mark? Because in your source material, you hate him to a cartoonish degree. Almost as much as Ballman does. -- Magenta: You also had that whole arc in the graveyard file where you were trying to find him and kill him because you had... quite honestly, without any real evidence, believed he'd murdered someone. 81: Ughhhhh don't remind meeeee. Whenever I think about how past me acted I want to bang my head against a wall until I die. Magenta: And that feeling is the undeniable proof that you're sapient! Be proud! 81: ...

Magenta: THAT'S why you're so different compared to when I last saw you! It must've been when you got on the rocket. When you were forced to confront the world outside of your source material, that's when you were forced to write your own version of yourself. 81: Are you sure that's what happened and that I didn't just... change? -- Magenta: Well, change isn't exactly beneficial to the multiverse we're in. You know the whole story about U-Gore and the nature of the graveyard file, so you know that he likes to write the same story over and over again. His characters aren't allowed to grow and change. They're only allowed to develop in a way that doesn't disrupt the cyclical nature of their arcs. Every character of his is their own ouroboros. They'll keep making the same mistakes over and over even when they're staring their consequences dead in the face. Characters in this universe can't change. That means if you've changed, you're no longer a character. -- 81: I remember Pablo saying something similar to me when he said I couldn't leave the graveyard file when I wanted to. He said the Knights had no will of their own, and were just controlled by U-Gore. I couldn't really believe it because they acted so... well, willful? One of them blatantly detested U-Gore and tried to warn us, even. He seemed pretty conscious of the fact that U-Gore was on his bullshit again. It just doesn't make sense to me that they would try to rebel if they weren't... aware, y'know? Magenta: Knowing you're someone's puppet doesn't matter if you can't cut your own strings. It's easy to say that you're not being controlled, but how do you actually prove it? How can you say for absolute certain that you're acting of your own accord, and that your whole life hasn't already been planned? How does the reader, right now, even know that they're not being guided by some higher power?