Weirdest thing about growing up without parents and desperately trying to find parental figures through your childhood (and itâs like a puzzle piece trying to fit into other peopleâs puzzles) is when you find one when youâre not a kid anymore, at 18 or 19 or 20 or 25 or older. It feels too late in a lot of ways but youâll yearn and want anyways. Youâll want so greatly but youâll also just grin through it like itâs an inside joke instead of admitting it. Because itâs funny and ironic, isnât it? To find what youâve wanted all your life when you donât need it anymore.














