#acroakingbird

Arnav indulges Lavanya, is protective of her when his family goes crazy to traditionalize her, and is respectful of her privacy. Yet the easy, friendly banter of theirs quickly disappears the more serious their relationship gets. In short, the cracks become visible. 

One scene about Lavanya that has always baffled me is how quick Lavanya is to jump into the boat of getting married to ASR when Khushi scares her about the idea that a live-in relationship does not provide permanence. Khushi is so childish and the imagination is laughable.

However Khushi, unintentionally, taps Lavanya’s fear of ASR leaving her. I think Lavanya already thought long about ASR’s stand on marriage with her and it’s not really Nani’s words or Khushi’s ideas that frightens her. She knows ASR and is puzzled that them living in the same house seems to be driving them away instead of bringing them closer. 

In her massive argument with ASR (when she’s dressed as a bride), the questions she asks ASR on whether he loves her, her refusal to search for his feelings through his vague actions - all reflect a deeper conflict she’s been facing for months together. Khushi kind of pushes Lavanya to a conclusion she didn’t want to arrive. 

Arnav and Lavanya though, don’t have the best relationship. Arnav always get his say, is rude and hurtful to Lavanya. They seem to get close when he wants to. There’s nothing jarringly wrong about their relationship - but the issues are visible long before Khushi even settles into Arnav’s mind. Lavanya is quick to appease him and fears his anger. She apologizes when it’s not necessary and is a ‘yes man’ to him. 

Arnav’s best attitude towards Lavanya emerges when he is honest about his feelings for her. The change is immediate. He’s softer, kinder, considerate and immensely protective. I think he thought they would ideal together given she shares a similar school of thought, but unfortunately that didn’t work. In these rare moments we see that Arnav and Lavanya shared a deep friendship which Arnav pursued for convenience and Lavanya for love. 

There are an excellent example of two people who should have remained friends. 

Arnav craves control over his emotions - especially in a relationship - and the way he exerted it over Lavanya often bordered on troubling. While Arnav and Khushi almost reveled in the constant push and pull of the power play between them, Lavanya was almost always submissive and suffered from his anger. 

Honestly, if Lavanya was truly happy and content in her relationship she would not keep on seeking constant reassurance. She feels the need to tell him that she sees love in his vaguest gestures (such as gifting a bag, and you wonder if she’s telling that to herself), and later goes into denial when she realizes he’s getting engaged to her for other reasons. 

She does not want to verbalize it till the end but we see Lavanya getting snappier at ASR during their engagement time. We can see it when Lavanya notices that ASR isn’t responding to her thoughts about their honeymoon. When he yells at her for choosing a dress that matches Khushi’s and she yells back. When she’s unsurprised with him taking Khushi’s name.  

I think Lavanya also recognizes the issue their relationship has. More than once she mentions to Khushi that she isn’t like Khushi. That she can’t control, talk back nor stand her own in front of ASR. She realizes her self respect is getting hurt in her process of handling his family and being with ASR, but she does get back with him with his slightest effort. 

This does not sound like a relationship that could last, and I do like the subtle ways this is highlighted - it makes Arnav and Lavanya’s relationship incredibly real without making anyone an outright villain. 

Did Arnav cheat Lavanya? 

You answered this pretty well in your post. 

I feel like Arnav did cheat on Lavanya quite a number of times, emotionally and Diwali time included. Arnav and Lavanya were committed enough to be in a live in relationship and they both had feelings for another (Lavanya more than Arnav and I’m not saying they had the same intensity as between Arnav and Khushi.) At no point during that time was it okay for him to be attracted and have feelings for Khushi or lead on Lavanya because he didn’t want to deal with them. Frankly, it was disrespectful and cruel.  

So as you’ve wonderfully laid out, even an emotional affair is considered cheating. But here comes another question -

Can you control attraction? 

No. Unfortunately, no. 

Did Arnav & Khushi have an emotional affair?

Yes and no. I don’t think they realized how integral they were to the other emotionally or that how emotionally dependent they were on each other. They never spoke about Lavanya, their emotions or their engagements. 

Each time they were upset or that they questioned each other, it was solely based on hints and on their own experience with the other person. 

Khushi has no idea how much Arnav needed someone to talk to when he misses his mother. But she stays with him because his sadness hurts her, and he asks her to stay because she is the only one who can connect with the emptiness he feels. 

Arnav has no idea how much Khushi needs a pillar of support and a confidante, when her father is paralyzed. How much she needs a shoulder where she can be a frightened child and not a responsible adult. He is unable to hug her when Khushi finally vents her emotions to the only person who can be brutally honest with her. She later runs away, again, confused at why she chose to hug him. 

It’s the fact that they always just don’t know. If you carefully see, up until Akash and Payal’s wedding (and then up until their hug at the warehouse when Arnav’s kidnapped), either Khushi, Arnav, or both are confused as to why they are drawn to each other. It’s their awareness but lack of understanding that makes this question difficult to answer.

It’s what makes them better human beings but terrible decision makers.

Should he have been honest with Lavanya? 

Yes, but on what basis. 

How do I say, he isn’t one to end a perfectly convenient relationship because he is physically attracted and emotionally enamored by a woman who is the exact opposite from him. His feelings, emotions - that he refuses to acknowledge - exist in his hidden thoughts (a lot of time it’s when he’s in his bed). Khushi is almost... a fantasy. 

And Arnav is not one to break a secure, safe relationship for a flight of imagination/fantasy. It’s not even a comfortable fantasy. He’s almost always bothered, irritated or confused by it. He only begins smiling while thinking about her during Akash and Payal’s wedding. 

Did Arnav realize he was cheating Lavanya? 

No, not until the day he takes Khushi’s name instead of Lavanya’s while trying to apologize to Lavanya. I know, it sounds like a stretch to the extent his denial ran - but that’s what denial is. 

Arnav is a man of action, not words. His morality is also ambiguous - and he isn’t shy about that. The little he speaks, it’s carefully measured and thought out. He is someone who blatantly ignores the existence of emotions. Arnav knew he was physically attracted to Khushi. But -

- could he start a relationship with Khushi? 

No, it took forever for Arnav to realize that he could actually live a life with Khushi. For a long time I think he believed that Khushi was a passing phase. Khushi was almost always fainted or asleep when he pushed away a strand of hair, held her cheek - unveiling his deepest darkest desire. 

Yet, as far living together and reality was concerned, he pretty much believed that Lavanya would be ideal. A relationship with Khushi was impractical. He recognizes lust alright, but also does not expect more from it. Unlike Khushi who begins to dream of their married life once she gets a serious hint on what is her feelings for Arnav,  Arnav never dreams of a future with Khushi. 

He begins to grow emotionally more attached to Khushi once he learns about the death of her parents and realizes that she is an inherently strong, independent and a good human being. There’s no facade to her goodness. It’s when he actively begins to seek her when he realizes they’re more similar. He begins to see her as his equal. Here, I think, it becomes grey. I don’t think he realizes the end result of his growing emotional and physical connection to Khushi. 

The Diwali is a shocker to him. He sees it as a moment he succumbed to the fantasies he had had about Khushi and hence, almost turned out to be like his father. 

Arnav getting shocked, angry, numb and scared when his family plans his wedding with Lavanya is the beginning of a wake up process where Arnav is forced to understand the consequences of the commitment he promised to Lavanya. 

The episodes following the Diwali - he’s technically horrid to Khushi and Lavanya. He’s stringing both of them and he does not realize that until Lavanya literally reminds him. His and Lavanya’s relationship was also a way for Arnav to prove himself to his overbearing grandmother - he couldn’t and wouldn’t break up with Lavanya until he knew, for certain, that he wasn’t in the right place. Which is why he avoided bringing Lavanya over initially, until his ego got involved.

Khushi’s engagement pulls him out of his stupor because he realizes that he could have made it work... perhaps the other man is not who he wants Khushi to be with.

I don’t think he even imagined marrying Khushi until she is engaged to Snakewa. Then he constantly puts himself as a better choice than her fiancé and almost pushes her to acknowledge that he can fulfill all her desires; materialistic, emotional and physical.

Morally, this is incorrect. He, again, does not realize the consequences of his actions. He is seeking reassurance from Khushi to be able to justify and probably end his and Lavanya’s relationship. 

There’s a difference between awareness and acknowledgement. The day he acknowledges what he feels for Khushi, is the day he immediately breaks up with Lavanya because he understands the depth of what is between him and Khushi, and almost instantly realizes that he has been stringing Lavanya to get a confession out of Khushi. 

It’s the day he stops all his mind games with Khushi. He doesn’t press her further for questions. His only focus is with Lavanya, and he spends the next two days trying to rectify all his mistakes. His breakup with Lavanya is less about his feelings for Khushi and more about his dishonesty. 

Arnav never fails to apologize when he realizes he has truly erred. 

Also, he can never tell anyone what’s the reason for his breakup because he still has no idea if he and Khushi can actually ever be together. In his eyes he knows Khushi is marrying someone else. And Arnav would very well wallow in his own anguish and not be with another because he knew he wouldn’t be honest. 

Arnav has no idea that Khushi reciprocates his feelings completely and refused to get engaged in the beginning because of what she feels for him. He only has a hint but stops pursuing that once he sees how he has hurt Lavanya in that process.

He realizes he has always put Khushi before Lavanya and might continue to do so for the rest of his life. 

In short, in episode 142 he realizes he has been dishonest with Lavanya because he comes to a complete realization of his feelings for Khushi. Until then, naively, Arnav & Khushi feel that their engagement to other people would put a full stop to their emotions as they both firmly believe in the institution of marriage. Instead, it does the opposite. Khushi grows increasingly uncomfortable with her fiancé and Arnav grows immensely detached. 

Yes, his actions and decisions are more questionable than Khushi’s and it could be called cheating (especially during this phase) but I think it’s more dishonesty because Khushi is never an active participant. It takes two to tango and Arnav really isn’t thinking at this point - if they accidentally kissed or hugged or even confided in each other, he would’ve immediately broken up with Lavanya, which he does in episode 142. 

He realizes that the attraction has grown into something permanent and serious, irrespective of the fact that he and Khushi can’t be together. He can’t and won’t give a name to the attraction because he does not want to be like his father. It’s more of Arnav realizing he has been dishonest to Lavanya. It’s the realization that he will put Khushi before anyone else. 

Had he continued his pursuit of Khushi and faked happiness and commitment to Lavanya post this realization, it would have been easier for me to judge him more harshly. 

Also, the audience, as in us, are the only people who are seeing that Arnav and Khushi think about, care and love each other in equal measure. Arnav and Khushi almost always believe they are impossible apart from a few hints. They are always in the dark about the other person. 

I think a lot of problems arose with the fact that IPK was set to stay as a Star Plus show instead of Star One. If you look at Star One shows - Geet, Mile Jab Hum Tum, Sarabhai V/S Sarabhai, etc - they were much more open about themes in a non traditional and practical aspect as the channel was targeted to a younger audience. Geet was pretty frank about how marriages are sometimes a scary freak show with NRI men marrying off Indian women for their property, etc. In Mile Jab Hum Tum, the two protagonists - Samrat and Gunjan - have consensual sex even before they are engaged and they don’t have any issues with it. It does not give rise to any shame or weird pregnancy track that might’ve been convenient for a Star Plus show to kind of ‘punish’ the protagonists for having pre marital sex. And even on the comedy side, Maya and Monisha of Sarabhai V/S Sarabhai share this classic love hate relationship but with finesse and subtlety. No ‘rona dhona’ or the 3000 mantras of our dear Gods & Goddesses in the background. Even as a housewife, Monisha just had so much going on in her life. 

Now if we compare that with what are the standards for Star Plus, dear God, one look at Saath Nibhana Saathiya, Yeh Rishta, (barring Pratigya) gives us the template of what shows Star Plus delivers. It’s completely for the traditional, family loving, ‘marriage is sacred’ ideals kind of audience. In fact one of the head writers of the show - Gautam - said in one of his interviews that if IPK had been on Star One then Arnav and Khushi’s story wouldn’t have even left the office! 

So given all of that, I’m just wonderfully happy that an antihero like Arnav, a villain like Shyam (one of my most favorite villains) and a positive character like Lavanya were given the green signal. Khushi is your template Star Plus character, she just rises into something more when she meets this Mills & Boons hero. 

Now, coming directly to your point, I think Lavanya was doomed to be transformed. And yes, making her appear more slutty next to the pious Khushi grated my nerves. Lavanya drinks, wears revealing outfits, curses, is completely fine to live in and have consensual sex with her partner - this is normal. She is literally like any other woman. (And I believe she also loves her work passionately) Demonizing that (I can’t watch Nani in these scenes) gets me so upset because we’re supposed to agree with Nani and hold Khushi in a high esteem compared to Lavanya. 

I loved Khushi the minute she talked back to the ‘over sympathetic’ shopkeeper in Lucknow who tried to rub in Payal’s broken marriage to Shashi and Garima. I was unashamedly in love with her then and there, and that she was great at mathematic. I really didn’t need more reasons to love her. 

So what gets me irritated is the intentional comparison to show how Khushi is superior than Lavanya because of the values Khushi holds and Lavanya lacks. 

The entire traditional ‘makeover’ could have been dealt with more humor on the situation that Khushi has an actual crappy job of making someone more ‘Indian’ and in fact could have served as a way to bridge the differences between modern and traditional thinking (three scenes that does this is; when Lavanya tells off her friends in Diwali that she’s isn’t being less modern by just respecting Nani, when Nani teases Lavanya and pushes her to dance on stage because she knows Lavanya enjoys dancing, and ultimately Khushi’s friendship and protectiveness towards Lavanya). 

Also lastly, coming to your point about Arnav cheating Lavanya with Khushi. I feel this is one thing that the show actually got right. It was really delicately handled and in no way is Arnav actually ever cheating Lavanya with Khushi. 

Let’s step back and see the public and private interaction of Arnav and Khushi. They yell, fight, insult, ignore. Sometimes he laughs. Sometimes she helps. And whenever she’s in trouble - he’s there to hold her. Yes, he pays for her father’s medical treatment,  she tries to console him on learning about his parents’ demise. 

Literally all this can happen between Lavanya and Khushi. I believe Lavanya would do everything Arnav does for Khushi (paying bills, getting her coins to make Khushi happy - she dances in a mustache to make Khushi happy), and Khushi would console Lavanya just the same. 

The difference is that Arnav and Khushi start an emotional affair without either of them realizing. It’s not what they do to each other, that can almost be viewed platonically, it’s what happens in between, unknown to themselves. I think they have no answer as to why does the other person’s happiness and sadness matter so much to them. 

In the famous red saree photoshoot scene, even Akash and Jeff are present when Khushi’s saree drops, but Arnav and Khushi are transfixed on each other because of the other’s awareness. 

As Barun Sobti once said in a segment, that Arnav always had a corner for Khushi - it just grew soft for her. And like Sanaya Irani said too, that of course, Arnav is a man. 

It’s a scene that heavily relies on lust and it destabilizes both Arnav and Khushi because both of them liked what they saw and felt for the other. But again, all of this is between stares and mere touches. 

Arnav and Khushi seem to memorize every touch and stare. They are saying so much more with their eyes every time they meet that we feel the intensity of their moments that makes us think that Arnav is cheating Lavanya. 

But it’s not happening, it’s literally all in Arnav and Khushi’s heads and perhaps that’s the weirdest part - for all their misunderstandings on fore, they are exactly in sync in their heads. Whether it’s bubbling lust or love, it’s in their eyes and minds. They can’t stop thinking about each other and have nothing to say about it. 

The only time any of them actually do something that can count as ‘cheating Lavanya’ is Diwali. And of course, Khushi believes that perhaps there is nothing more to Arnav and Lavanya’s relationship and demands more to know if he has feelings for her. This time she doesn’t want to read his mind, which she effectively can, she needs him to acknowledge it. 

And when Arnav realizes he has almost become the man he hates, his father, he immediately rectifies his actions by mentioning his engagement to Lavanya because (a) she does not deserve to be humiliated for his rash decision to live in a live-in relationship (b) he almost cheated her. 

And that’s why Arnav never tells Khushi he’s broken off his engagement - because he does not do it for Khushi. He breaks off with Lavanya because he fears that it won’t be an honest marriage and he would doom her the way his father doomed his mother. Yes, Khushi is the woman he loves - Lavanya realizes that sooner than anyone. But Khushi is genuinely worried for Lavanya and angry at Arnav because he made his intentions clear and she refuses to read his mind or be sympathetic towards him when he made all the mess by asserting what he apparently wanted - hence stringing Lavanya and Khushi. 

Was it easy for Arnav? Of course not! And I think the existence of their innocence irrespective of the mess their feelings cause never makes Khushi the third woman in Arnav & Lavanya’s life. (It is hinted Lavanya never tried to make their relationship more serious because Arnav was happy being in the place they were and Lavanya is happy because Arnav is happy, even if it’s not something Lavanya wants). 

And this is why Arnav never cheats Lavanya. The day he realizes he won’t be able to be true to her, he is incapable of pretending to love her, he ends up saying another name instead of hers - he asks to break up for her sake. Because she does not deserve this half hearted marriage. It’s the day he realized his worry and panic (which borders love) for Khushi will remain irrespective of his or her marital status to other people. And pursuing marriage with another knowing that his feelings for Khushi wouldn’t change would count as cheating.

Because Arnav believes that marriage is a 100% commitment (emotional and physical), just like Khushi (which is why she refuses to get engaged to Shyam in the beginning).

Akash and Payal should be developed further as their own characters, aside from the main protagonists, and have their own story independent of Arnav and Khushi’s which would have been interesting to follow. 

This is something that the show could have worked with eventually but I think the show had one main purpose - to focus on the misunderstanding between Arnav and Khushi, and Anjali realizing her husband is a monster. 

Akash and Payal could have slowly and gradually developed into more essential and interesting characters in the future but what’s done is done... 

I think they did a big mistake by trying to make a typical terrible saas bahu show between Payal and Manorama and let’s not even get to Bubbly. Akash and Payal really started to get some meat with Payal’s discomfort at Akash’s societal circle and I will forever have a grudge that they never resolved it! We must just assume that everything went ok. Also the way Akash and Payal resolved their conflict post the Shyam reveal was... troubling? I mean we have to read and rely heavily on assumptions to feel everything’s ok in Akash & Payal’s relationship instead of getting fleshed scenes. 

Of course there was immense room for bringing in Akash and Payal together and in fact, you recommend one yourself. 

Khushi-Payal’s sisterhood. I mean, after the marriage, not once did Payal asked Khushi if she was doing okay with that creep being in the same house or anything normal siblings would discuss. 

Oh I’m going to have an entire post dedicated to what ifs! Khushi and Payal actively engaging on the Shyam situation post marriage is an entire amazeballs TRACK! It’s like Payal, the overprotective tigress of a sister, legit disowned Khushi after her fight on the night Khushi got married. 

It was off character as Payal is honestly the only one to sense Khushi’s trouble. And Payal, out of all people, would be extremely worried at Khushi’s elopement because she knew how much Khushi wanted a big fat wedding. The moment the sisters got their husbands, Payal completely derailed as a character. I know they needed to isolate Khushi to highlight her pain - but really was an opportunity to establish Akash and Payal’s importance in everything at this point. 

I missed Akash and Payal terribly and would crave for their littlest interactions - such as when Payal slaps Akash’s arm when he calls Arnav and Khushi for their haldi, or when Akash is drunk in front of Payal during the Bachelor party - it was so hilarious and I was so upset when it was cut short. And for the life of me I can’t understand why Payal and Akash didn’t play Khushi and Arnav in their sangeet. 

Unfortunately since this show was set up to focus on Arnav, Khushi, Anjali and Shyam - Akash and Payal should’ve either been important to the protagonists or their relationship should have been important in the life of the protagonists to be worked into the plot. Or, in an idealistic world, the characters should have grown further into the story. 

The Office is a great example of handling parallel, unrelated tracks at the same time. Unfortunately Indian television does not exist in seasons, hence not giving writers their well deserved breaks and times to develop storylines (I wish I knew more in detail what happened in their creative rooms). 

Yes, Akash & Payal’s union was instrumental in getting Arnav & Khushi together.  But let’s take the other sibling into the account - Anjali. Anjali’s entire life directly affects (positively and negatively) on Arnav and Khushi’s relationship. If she’s happy, they’re happy. If anything’s going wrong in her life, Arnav & Khushi will have to bear the brunt. If she’s sad, it has a strain on Arnav & Khushi’s married life. 

The same can’t be said for Akash & Payal. In fact it was the reverse for them. Ironically even though Khushi married Arnav for her sister (not entirely though, I have a headcanon about this), it was Khushi’s marriage that affected Akash & Payal. Yes, the separation of Khushi and Payal as siblings post their respective marriages irks me to no end because it would be so instrumental in even adding more drama. 

They tried various tactics to show us aspects of Akash & Payal’s life - in the beginning Akash was supportive of Khushi, Manorama being domineering, Babli creating ruckus, Payal being unable to fit in Akash’s social circle - but no one was interested because it didn’t affect the main protagonists. 

They should have tried to work Akash & Payal back to make Payal as important as Anjali for Khushi and that Payal’s happiness was instrumental to Khushi’s happiness. Yes, if Khushi and Arnav had fights because Akash was incapable of making Payal happy - then suddenly Akash and Payal would have mattered more. 

I am not upset that Akash and Payal’s marriage gets a hit because as @phati-sari​ effectively states that Akash and Payal were in love with the idea of love and worked out their issues post their wedding unlike Arnav and Khushi who dealt with serious issues before they were married to each other. 

It would have been interesting if Khushi thought that her sacrifice in getting Payal married to Akash was in vain because her sister was always upset. It would also correct Khushi’s notion of marriages being happily ever after. 

And talking about drama - imagine the drama if Payal (at this point Akash does unfairly put Payal in spot as the bahu and not Khushi’s sister) learnt about Arnav and Khushi’s contract marriage and decided to divorce Akash to take Khushi away from Arnav. 

Now that would completely bring Akash & Payal back into the storyline because they were being the reason of Arnav & Khushi’s separation and then again, Akash and Payal would have to be happy or at least attempt at actively sorting their problems to get Arnav & Khushi back together. And the four of them would have to resolve the Shyam issue together.

We probably would’ve gotten more interaction between the four of them and it would’ve been a delight to see them - considering the New Year Episode & the Akash suicide track, the four of them are like fireworks together!