#ack-ack

Yours Truly // Andrew “Ack-Ack” Haldane Imagine

AN: I want to let you know that this is angst. It talks about death and some blood so this is your warning. I worked hard on this Imagine so I hope you all enjoy :)

Words: 5,149

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @teenmagazines @punkgeekchic @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @valterras @adamantiumdragonfly

Y/N hummed as she walked throughout the rainy, muddy land of Peleliu. She managed to snag a spare apple from chow. A rare occurrence and a new luxury amongst them all. And she managed to not only snag one, but one for her fellow officers. Maybe it wasn’t the best of her as a Lieutenant. Snagging some extra food beside giving it to her men. But she had gone without eating for a bit. Giving her meals to some privates who were less fortunate. So grabbing three apples for her and her two fellow officers in command wouldn’t be all too bad.

   Crunching down on her apple as she approached Captain Haldane and Hillbilly Jones. Smiling at the men as she chewed down on the fruit. It didn’t taste like the ones she ate back in the states. But compared to the maggot filled rice they had been eating, it was a little slice of Heaven. “What is up, boys?” she asked softly. Pulling her weapon off from her shoulder and setting it onto her lap as she sat on a rock. Jones and Haldane turned and smiled softly at the girl. The two always viewed the female as a little sister almost. But, to Haldane, she seemed to mean a bit more than that.

   When Lieutenant L/N first showed up as the first female Marine officer to see combat like no other, she was viewed immediately as a weaker target. In that time, women weren't viewed as strong supports for much. But Y/N was so different. She walked with her head held high. Her weapon tightly in her grasp. She took no shit from anyone. Y/N L/N was a woman of class, yet she knew how to lead these men. She was able to earn the Marine’s respect. It attracted Andrew Haldane. He respected her from the moment her boots hit the mud of Peleliu. He yearned to know more. And of course as they were in command. Like how Haldane and Jones grew close, the two accepted Y/N into the group. And that is where Haldane and Y/N blossomed.

   “Hey, Lieutenant. What you got for us this time?” Andrew asked. Leaning against some sort of oil drum. Smiling at the female as his trusty Lieutenant Jones approached his side. Smiling at the female. Grinning back, she took her helmet off for a moment and set it to the side. Digging her hand into her Marine issued trousers and pulled out the two apples. They were just a normal green, Granny Smith apple. Slightly bruised, and not the biggest. Haldane’s and Jones’ eyes narrowed at the apples. They were sure they wouldn’t get one because they let the other have them. Their men came first. Always.

   “I know rations and food has been more and more scarce recently. But I snagged these for us. Actually, the cook saved them for me. Said that we deserved them since he noticed we hadn’t been in line for chow yesterday or the day before. Nice boy, really. Said we needed to get our strength up for fighting the Japs!” she explained. Hopping off the rock she sat on. Slinging her weapon back over her shoulder. She never went anywhere without her rifle. Approaching the boys and placing the apples in each of their hands. Grabbing her partially eaten apple and taking a nice bite out of it. The juices dripped down her chin messily as she wiped them away with her sleeve. Causing a chuckle to be released from both her fellow officer’s lips.

   “Thanks, L/N. I’d swear I’d die of starvation without you,” Hillbilly said softly as he rustled the woman’s hair. Sometimes a break from the war to just sit and joke was needed. It gave a sense of clarity. That maybe the war would end sometime. It was just a thought but man could they dream of it. Y/N grunted and pulled away.

   “Aye, Hillbilly! I already look a mess enough with this mop of hair on my head. What I would do to wash it just once,” she chuckled. Giving the Lieutenant a playful punch on the shoulder. Andrew just watched. A small smile danced across his lips as he did so. She was gorgeous in his eyes.

   The Captain had grown fond of the woman but just kept it to himself. Not even bringing it up to Jones. He knew war wasn’t a time for love and passion. No distractions were needed of him. But no matter what, he couldn’t stop himself from searching for the female Marine within combat. Needing to know she was safe. And when he realized his own doings he cursed to himself. He fell for a woman in the worst time ever. And the worst part was, he knew she felt the same.

   The two had shared smokes. Had deep conversations on watch. And it wasn’t until she had kissed him once night when no one was around, that is when he knew. He remembered that shit eating grin on her face as she pulled away. Taking the smoke right out of his lips and placing it between hers. And when he asked why she did it, she just shrugged. “When you work in a field such as this, surrounded by men who always think down on you. You learn to take what you want. Be assertive, Show you are in charge,” her face steadied as she looked down for a moment. Looking back up at Andrew with a soft smile on her face. “And I guess I wanted you, sir,” she said. Not a day went by where Haldane didn’t think of that night. It was a night he’d never forget, nor ever share. That was their moment, and their moment only. It was going to stay that way.

   “As much as I’d love to stay and eat apples all day with you two, we got a briefing for the next attack for tomorrow. We better get going if we want to make it on time,” Haldane said to the two. Biting into his apple and chewing slightly. The two other officers nodded and began to make their way to the briefing area. Andrew watched Y/N joked around with Hillbilly. The same smile rested on his lips. He hated the thoughts and future he wanted of that woman. She was like venom that flowed throughout his veins. An addiction. Haldane had a taste of her, and now he was left chasing after more. He kicked himself for it. But he just couldn’t help himself almost.

///

   It was early in the morning when the Japanese’s mortars boomed and exploded throughout the muddy fields of battle. Y/N and Haldane sat in a small foxhole, their backs pressed up against the dry dirt and rocks of the airfield. Pinging a few Japanese when she could, strings of curses left her lips as she looked at her Captain. That same shit eating grin came to her lips. “Hey, sir! How about if we do survive this shithole, why don’t we get married back in the states?” she yelled over the sounds of bursting mortar shells and the gunshots of the Japanese Army whizzing right past them. Ack-Ack wanted to turn and yell at her. Tell her to think of the mission at hand. He turned sharply to look at her, his eyes falling onto hers. He couldn’t help but smile. Why was he smiling? He had no idea. It was like she had taken him into a trance. The war seemed to fade out of his ears as he gave her a nod.

   “Of course, Lieutenant. You got yourself a deal,” he told her. His voice was smooth and calm. Little did he know, Y/N said it because she knew she wouldn’t make it all that long. In that moment they shared, Y/N turned to Ack-Ack, a look of calm spread across her face. She had her head on straight. Another quality that many didn’t have in an active war zone. It was almost like the screams of comrades being blown to pieces and shot to bits weren’t even there. Andrew needed to stand. Needed to lead his men. But yet he was nailed down by her smile. Her eyes darted and danced with traces of love.

   “Andrew Haldane, I can happily say I am more than in love with you. If I am to die during this war and not be able to make it home to truly be yours. Just know, my heart stays with you. As it is where it wants to belong,” she said to him. Grabbing at the sides of his face and pressing her lips against his. The sweat and mud that dripped down their faces collided as she sat there like that for less than ten seconds. But it felt like an eternity that they never wanted to end.

  When Y/N pulled away she straightened her back and stood up. Her head dipped won to avoid fire. With one last soft smile given towards the man she just admitted her love to. Andrew sat there for a second, trying to gather his thoughts as he watched Y/N called out to her Marines and led the charge. She was a goddess that walked amongst the combat field. He stood and peered over the edge of the dune. It was almost like the bullets and the mortar blasts were afraid of her as she ran through the air field.

   Grabbing his weapon. Andrew ran. His eyes stayed on Y/N the entire time. God he wanted to stop searching for her. Keeping his mind on the mission and the rest of the men. But he just couldn’t stop his feelings from taking over his mind. He hadn’t even realized Hillbilly running about three feet to the right of him. Dodging and weaving through the consistent fire from the enemy.

   “Captain Haldane! The Japs are already being pushed back! We’ll take this place over no time, our armor is almost here and we’ll have it in the bag!” he yelled over the blasts. He took his eyes off of Y/N for a split second to turn and give a nod towards his second in command. But he wished he never did. His head turned back towards the female officer. And his eyes widened.

  “Y/N!” he yelled. But there wasn’t anything else he could do. A mortar strike had hit the ground about two feet from her left leg. And with a loud percussion and the ground around her exploding, her body was thrown. And he watched in her horror as her left leg was torn completely from her upper thigh. “Holy shit.. Y/N!” his voice broke. He saw her body hit the ground. She landed flat on her back. Even from about twenty feet away, he could tell it just wasn’t good. Turning around to look at Hillbilly as he just saw one of his best friends and blown away by a damn mortar strike. The Lieutenant’s features were mortified. Sure men died every day and you couldn’t always expect that the next day was guaranteed. But when you create and share bonds with people, the pain is all too real. 

   Andrew froze at first to actually go and retrieve her. He would go to tell people that the reason for why he froze was because he needed to see if she was alive before he risked his life. To make sure it was even worth risking his life. But the real reason made him hang his head in shame almost. He was just too scared that he wouldn’t be prepared to see how she actually looked after a blow like that. From his years in the service, he knew after a strike like that, no one looked good. And Y/N wasn’t any exception sadly.

   When Ack-Ack came to, all of the silenced sound of the battlefield came back as well. His ears rang as he made his way to Y/N. Hillbilly was tailing behind him briskly. Their boots hit the dry dirt roughly as they ran. Andrew of course reached the fallen woman first. Her helmet was god knows where, face splattered in her own blood. Her left leg was completely gone, nowhere in sight around them. Pieces of shrapnel digging in all over her body. It wasn’t a good sight. And Andrew knew deep down there probably wasn’t going to be a positive ending for her. War wasn’t about happy endings. It wasn’t some fairytale with princesses. It was real life. With real death. And real consequences from real problems. But Andrew knew he had to at least try? When in reality, he would curse to himself later as he realized he had wasted supplies. But he only did that to try to ignore the real pain he felt. 

   He stared down at the female. She was still breathing, but her chest rose only slightly and slowly.  He knew she wasn’t doing too hot. Dipping down to scoop her up in the bridal style carry he tapped the sides of her face. “Come on, come on,” he mumbled. Turning towards Hillbilly, who was squatted down behind cover just watching them. Pressing his lips together he grunted as he tightened his grip on the woman’s arms. She was bleeding out, but he had nothing to even attempt to stop the bleeding from her leg, or the wounds that now show from her stomach. A piece of shrapnel had sliced deep into her skin. Blood seeping from her stomach and staining the cloth of her Marine uniform. “Jones! Make your way towards the front line. I need to find a Corpsman!” He yelled. Hillbilly just nodded and took off. 

   Andrew wasted no time. He ran. Screaming out for a Corpsman as loud as he could. Glancing down at Y/N every so often while he ran cover to cover. Her skin grew paler and paler as her eyes fluttered open for a moment. Then closed once again. Her breathing seemed to slow each and every second that flew by. Holding onto her tightly. The Captain muttered prayers beneath his breath, he never usually did as an adult. He would do it as a child when he was most worried or scared. But as he ran, and between calls for a Corpsman, he prayed.

   After a while of moving cover to cover, a Corpsman jumped next to him. “Sir, set her down and I’ll take good care of her. You need to move forward with the rest of the men!” he yelled. His hand on his helmet as he kept his head below any of the gunshots. Andrew stared at him for a few moments before setting her down gently. Staring down at her as she grunted in pain. Running a hand through her hair softly before pressing his lips to her forehead. He didn’t know why he even did it. In front of the Corpsman too. His body just made him do it.

  “Take care of her,” he told the young man. Who was already tying off the wound on her stomach. While placing a tourniquet onto her upper thigh in attempts to cut the bleeding off from her missing leg. Taking one final glance at the woman, he swore he saw her lips turn up into a smile just for a second. But he played it off as he was just imagining it. Giving the man a final nod before standing and making his way to the rallying point. Gulping slightly as he ran. Using all of his power to put into his legs for running. The images of Y/N flashing in his mind. He didn’t know why, but it wouldn’t stop. Her smile. Her laugh. Just yesterday when she was biting into her apple. It was crazy what could happen in such a short time. The feeling of her lips on his came back to his lips. Like a phantom feeling. His fingers coming to his own lips to graze over them. Huffing as he placed his hand back onto his weapon. Narrowing his eyes as he kept running. Knowing the faster they all moved forward. The more of the airfield they were taking. And that meant he could see Y/N and see if she was okay. But deep down. He already knew the answer. Yet he just ignored it and played in a false reality of hope and future dreams. The same false reality he told himself he would never get in. But yet, emotions are the devil and Andrew Haldane learned this first hand. 

///

   After what seemed for hours of constant fighting, the airfield was taken over by our Marines. Haldane panted as he jogged towards Hillbilly. Looking up at the tall Lieutenant. Wiping the sweat off his brow as he looked around. “Jones, where are the wounded. Have you seen Y/N?” he asked. Hillbilly Jones sat quiet. Pressing his lips into a thin line as he turned to look away.

   “Ack-Ack, I..” he started. Haldane knew. But he just needed to see her. He gave a hard stare at Hillbilly and chewed on the skin of his bottom lip. To which Jones just nodded. “I’ll show you where she is. I just don’t think I can stay there with you. I can’t see her like that no more,” he said softly as he turned and began to make his way where groups of bodies lay. He didn’t blame his second hand man.. Y/N grew to be one of his best friends. Two peas in a pod. He just kept quiet as he made his way along behind Jones. His mind knew well enough that Y/N wasn’t going to be there to smile at him. But god, in his mind she was going to just be there. Looking over the bodies. 

   When the two officers in charge reached the bodies that were all in a line and laying on cots. A Chaplain and Corpsman walked amongst them. Removing the blankets that covered their faces and removed their dog tags. Yet when the Chaplain saw the officers, his face narrowed. He already knew why they were actually there and who they were there to see. Giving them a nod and standing. “Right this way,” was all he said as he made his way to a lone cot with a body that had the same dark green blanket that was the same as the others. See that's the problem Andrew Haldane had. She was just another Marine. So many died every single day, so this shouldn’t have meant as much as it did. But yet, he felt this ache within his chest that seemed to be the same one he felt when he was alone most nights while the rest of the men were asleep in their foxholes. The nights where he thought about the men he had lost under his lead. But, when Y/N began to talk to him when she showed up, it just seemed to melt away. He didn’t even notice it. And as the world seemed to move in slow motion as he approached that lone cot, that same feeling returned after all this time. His feet felt heavy as his final steps reached the point in which he stood besides the blanket. He looked down and saw the familiar sticky, red substance that had soaked into the blanket right above where the left knee began, and traces of where the midsection was. He knew. Andrew knew right then and there. He knew all this time. Just his mind wouldn’t accept it. 

   The Chaplain stood behind the Captain and Lieutenant. Watching as they stared down at the body. “Here,” he said, slipping one of the dog tags he had removed from her set into the Captain’s hand. “I’ll leave you alone,” he said, turning to leave them be. Haldane and Jones stayed silent. Waiting to find the courage to pull back the blanket. They knew they needed to. But they just couldn’t. 

   Andrew’s hand tightened around the dog tag within hand. His thumb running of the engravings of her name. Beneath the pad of his thumb he could feel each letter that wrote out her name. Over and over his thumb ran over the letters. The image of her smiling stayed within his brain as he looked at where her head would be beneath the sheet. Taking a deep breath, he felt the dark feeling in his chest grow more. It felt more as a sharp pain within his lungs and his heart. But he didn’t feel tears within his eyes though. Just a strange empty feeling. 

   Gathering his bearings and thoughts, he squatted down and slowly grabbed onto the edge of the sheet. Gently and slowly pulling it back. First it was her hair. Her H/C hair that rested there. A mess like when she would wake up after sleeping. It was rare for her to do so, but when she woke up with a serious case of bedhead, Hillbilly was always there to tease her. And Andrew was always there to chuckle. And she always smiled.

  Pausing for a short moment, he just pulled the sheet down to at least her lower stomach. He heard Edward take a sharp inhale. His eyes narrowed as he felt his breath get stuck in his throat. It looked as if Y/N was sleeping. Her face was as peaceful and as gentle as ever. It struck him in a cord he never thought he would have. Gulping as he took a moment to look down and stare at his boots and the mud. Taking a deep breath as he looked back at her.

   “I.. I can’t do this sir, I’ve seen enough,” was all Ed Jones said as he turned and began to briskly walk away. Ack-Ack could hear his boots squish against some of the wet and also dry dirt. Leaving him alone.

   His eyes rested on her closed lids. Then looking at her lips. The ends curled up into a soft smile. She went peacefully. That’s all he could think about. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe, Y/N.. I know you said you wanted to live out this war and get married,” he paused to let out a sad chuckle. The tears now began to prick at his eyes as he pressed his lips together. “I wish we could’ve gone against this war together.. I knew this was war, and I told myself in the beginning that I wouldn’t have fallen for you. Enough of the younger men had done that enough themselves. But.. not everything goes as planned clearly,” after those words, he noticed one of her hands was draped over her chest. Noticing a piece of paper crammed into the holdings of her fingers. He looked a little closer and he noticed ‘Ack’ on one the creased folds. He looked across both sides and looked back down at her. Gently picking her hand up and slipping the paper out of her grasp and placing the paper into his pocket while placing her hand down back down. He shut his eyes for a moment as he grabbed the end of the sheet and gave her one last look. A tear slipping down his cheek as he found himself smiling. Leaning down and pressing his lips to her forehead and then pulling away. “I’ll see you again one day, Y/N,” he said. One hand holding her dog tag and the other using the sheet to gently pull over her face once more. At first he almost sat there longer. No reason to. But deep down he just didn’t want to leave her. But pushing his feelings aside he stood up. Taking one last glance down to her before standing to begin his trek back to his sleeping quarters. Turning to take the final look and then turning back, wiping his eye with the back of his finger as he trudged along. Continuing to run his thumb over the one dog tag. Feeling the eyes of the Marines on him as he walked. Though he just looked onward as he only focused on getting to his sleeping quarters.

   Finally, Andrew reached his sleeping quarters. Dropping himself onto his little and uncomfortable cot. He thought back to the times where the female Lieutenant would knock and walk in. And they would spend the night talking about god-knows-what and anything that would pop into their minds. Andrew chuckled to himself at the memory as he dug his hand into his pocket and pulled at the note. It felt like another quick and shallow jab when he saw the small finger prints of blood that had been stained on the note. But he shook his head slightly and kept going. Biting his bottom lip slightly as he unfolded the letter and began to look at the writing. His fingers grazing over the letters before even reading them over. Shutting his eyes for a moment and taking another deep breath. Opening his eyes, he began to read:

   “My Dearest Ack-Ack,

   You’re probably reading this letter because I met my unfortunate end on the battlefield. I wrote this letter a while back when I decided that you would probably see this. It was written and placed in my pocket where it stayed everyday. And the reason you are reading this, if this isn’t Captain Andrew Haldane, give this letter to him. Please. He needs to see these words.

   The reason you probably found this in my hand is because I got the strength to pull it out of my head and rested finally with it within my grasp. But enough of that. Andrew from the first day I met you, I found you so handsome. It started off like a teenage girl crush. It sounds stupid as hell, I know. But watching you put yourself before these men alongside Hillbilly, or Edward I should say. I looked up to you. And I will forever. But after our late night talks and that night I kissed you, I didn’t know what came over me. I had fallen head over heels for you, Sir. Man was it stupid to fall in love during a war. Especially when an outcome like this. But I am sorry, Andrew. I fell for you and I couldn’t live with you after this shithole. I would’ve followed you anywhere and I still will, please know that. Live for me. I will see you again, I know I will. Like I told you that night way back when: I get what I want. And I want you and you to come back to me. I will love you forever. I know in life I was too scared to tell you those three words, but I can say it here. I love you and I always will. My heart belonged to you the moment I first shook hands with you and I felt my name fall out of your mouth. My heart is yours, it will stay that way for the rest of the eternity. I will see you again. And we will be surrounded by love. But live for me. Don’t stop and be that amazing leader you are. Fight this war for me. Make it end. I love you Andrew Haldane. Forever and always.

   Yours always,

   Y/N L/N”

  Tears dripped down his face as Andrew had to set down the paper onto the side of the cot. A few sobs climbed up his throat and fell out of his lips. Ack-Ack never thought he would see himself crying over a woman like this. Let alone just a Marine. But Y/N wasn’t just a Marine. She was his heart. She was his soul. And he was more than pissed at himself for realizing this only now. Placing his face in his hands as he cried. War left no room for love. Just hate and sadness. Yet he found love. And he definitely found the hate and the sadness.

///

  It had been about a week since Y/N’s death. Her letter stayed within his pocket at all times. Almost like one would keep prayer beads or a cross. He reread her letter each and every night. The pad of Andrew’s thumb grazing over the engraving of her name, date of birth, and blood type as he read. And now he was running through the muddy lands of Peleliu, pinned down by a sniper. Deep down he knew what was going to happen to him in order to protect his men. Smiling at Edward one last time and turning his back. Digging his hand in his pocket and grabbing a new note he had written himself. A personal one that he held close to his heart as he began to run. It wasn’t long when the deafening shots of the sniper’s trigger finger sounded off and the bullets digging through his chest. 

   Andrew fell. Gasping out for air as he knew his date was to come. But his mind was clear and the pain had numbed. A few tears slipped down the sides of his face as a small smile came to his lips as he gripped the letter he wrote to his chest. He would leave his men, but he would die from bravery. As a leader. He lived. He lived his life proudly and bravely. His eyes shut as he succumbed to the tired feeling that grew over him. His smile was soft and his head was clear. The letter on his chest remained protected from the rain from his hand that covered it. It read:

   “My dearest Y/N L/N,

   This letter is to you. I made this shortly after I read the letter you wrote for me. I know you’ll never read this. Or maybe you will. But I did it. I led these men to the best I could. I kept my word as I always did. I’m sorry I couldn’t live as long as you probably wanted me too. But I get to see you soon. In whatever Heaven there is. We will see each other again. And like you always said and what I believed from you. You wanted to see me again after all of this, and you wanted that. I know I will see you again. There I can tell you those three words we couldn’t tell each other. I love you. I didn’t know what it was till you were gone and I didn’t want to believe the feelings while you were alive. But now I can. I love you. My heart is yours. Forever and always. I’ll see you again, my dear.

   Yours truly,

chapter 2 of the boot camp au is up!! I actually really enjoyed writing this ngl

In the South Pacific, almost every commissioned officer in the Marine Corps was given a nickname as a matter of brutal necessity: If the enemy overheard an officer addressed by his rank or as “sir,” he instantly became a higher priority target.