#ace omens

You, soft and only…

One Neurodivergent (and Acespec) Human's Perspective

*****

Prior to May 13 and all the, um, recent developments in Good Omens and our fandom, writing about Our Ineffables on Tumblr and AO3 (and my very full list of almost-finished fanfics!) had been my haven, my sanity and safe space. I know I'm not alone in that.

I'm also pretty sure that I'm not the only one who feels lost now -- not only because of GO3 itself, but because of how our little Tumblr space has become a chaotic turmoil that I don't even need to describe. We all see it, every time we scroll.

In the first week or so, I wrote and vented and tried to sort it all out too. I seldom post what I write now. The feeling of it being a minefield of potential conflict is... intimidating, to say the least. (Long history of people-pleasing, me. Lots of personal work becoming more honest and authentic. Unexpected conflict still feels like trauma.)

I love Good Omens too much to leave. But I'm exhausted from draining my energy navigating the turmoil, and from trying to process so very very many thoughts and opinions -- and so many of them are insightful and valid, even when folks are angry and arguing. My neurodivergent brain can only make it through so much before I become emotionally exhausted all over again.

And I'm really, really tired...

You see, I'm ADHD and Autistic. (Can I hear a Wa-Hoo?) My neurology already runs on emergency-crisis-adrenalin-hyperdrive. It's exhausting, but that's pretty much how it works. (That's why Azi's fumbles felt so relatable!) It takes actual strategies to get it all to run at a "normal" baseline.

A lot of the folks who followed my blog before this absolute mess told me they're neurodivergent too. We enjoyed each other's writing and comments, even when topics seemed to have nothing to do with neurodivergence. I miss those lovely little interactions, those familiar people. So many have gone silent, at least with their own voices. Maybe our chaotic feelings colllided against each other. Maybe they're also feeling the strain of this constant turmoil... or just heartbroken.

(I miss you all. You know who you all are. If you're thinking, "Probably not me," then it's definitely you, too!)

Processing strong emotions quickly isn't a strong suit for me. It takes me extra time to work through all the layers - especially when anger or conflict is part of it. I also tend to count on "best intentions". So, when folks are angrily saying, "You shouldn't have thought that..." or "You should have seen this coming..." Well...

I'm also on the asexual spectrum. (Although I'm an absolutely "hopeless romantic"!) It was always part of my subtext for how I perceived Our Ineffables. That's become a bit of a minefield now too. Emotions are running high, and it doesn't feel particularly safe for aro/ace folks to mention ways we felt represented -- moments we still felt were meaningful -- or to grieve that our possibility of representation also disappeared in a cloud of sparkles.

And that's a sad thing. I'm pretty sure that ace/arospec folks loving the ace/arospec relatability we see in Aziraphale and Crowley isn't actually harming anyone, not in the big picture. And that neurodivergent folks believing we see autistic traits in S1/S2 Aziraphale and ADHD traits in Crowley is not somehow adding to the GO3 destruction...

No one here, no one who genuinely loves these characters, is here to support erasing anyone. We all just wanted a little bit of space to see these beautiful characters as relatable in our own ways, like we used to before May 13.

We deserve that space. Some of us need it. I need it.

And my little acespec autistic heart doesn't like feeling cautious and afraid, not in the space I loved and felt safe in just a few weeks ago.

So... I need a path.

Maybe this path will feel calmer for you, too. Or maybe it'll help you to find a similar path that's more authentic to how YOU see Our Ineffables, and what YOU might still love and want from Good Omens.

For me -- I'm going back to the roots of I Believe in Nightingales. If, like so many of us, I can't accept GO3, then I'll see if I can just keep enjoying what I've always loved.

I held a jewel in my fingers

By 2ambiace

Rating G, 2372 words

Status: complete

Summary

After the first Armaggedon, Crowley and Aziraphale learn their way through physical touches. They grow closer and find comfort in each other’s presence

Why we love it

This one is so sweet and gentle… like a hot cut of tea, it made me want to curl up on my sofa, a hand carding through my hair. They are so full of love for each other, they don’t even need to talk to express it.

Tags: ineffable wives, ace omens, post s1, they like to hold hands

Review by @captainblou

Greetings and salutations, Good Omens fans! We have excellent news about the Ace Omens Zine - our shop is open now! Click here to purchase the second edition of our zine, which includes all new asexuality-themed fanfic and art, and merch! As with our previous edition, this is a charity zine. All proceeds will go to the charity our contributors chose: Palestine Children's Relief Fund. We are so excited to share this zine with you! Shop open from May 15, 2024 to June 15, 2024.