#accursed-being

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one time when i was little i heard the word "blowjob" and i didn't know what it meant fully but i heard these girls talking about it so when i got home that day i asked my dad how it was to give someone a blowjob and he stared at me like i was on fire

about a month ago i went to my friends house and i kept talking about yaoi cause my friend knows how much i read it and then her little brother asked me what yaoi was so i logged on my friend's computer and looked up elektel delusion (a good as yaoi if i do say so myself) and i went to the sex scene then he ran off crying and i almost pee'd laughign

idk what i'm doing i'm just leaving you funny stories but once i accidently sent smut to my english teacher and he confronted me about it and said it was good but writing it wasn't healthy and recently (like last fucking week) he told he told the 11th grade english teacher too and now all my schools staff knows i write gay sex as a hobby

one time when i was little i caught a big ass frog like it was as huge as a volleyball no joke and i was carrying it around at arms length to show it off and it started to piss so i chased my older sister and made it pee on her

a couple of months ago my mom (54, going on 55 in February) was helping one of the much younger fellow nurses at the place she works and it was like a sexual conversation. apparently the chick's boyfriend wouldn't eat her out so my mom was like "honey if you give him that many blowjobs you deserve a good eatin' out now and then" and i was mentally screaming into my pillow