{ danielle brooks. cis woman, she/her. } hey, did you see the video of [ slapstick ] [ breaking through a wall like the Kool-Aid man ]? apparently their real name is [ sarah smith ] and they’re [ signed with valerian universal ]. people in the comments are calling them [ the flame ] , and saying their permutation is probably [ cartoon physics ] — that would mean they scored an [ c ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ 32 ] year old who would list [ pockets full of snacks to an impossible degree, drones following you during patrol filming you as you defy the laws of physics with a giggle, filling in an adult coloring book as old cartoons play on the TV, books piled in your bedside as you page through the newspaper to get to the Sunday strip, rubber ducks looking at you from the windowsill ] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv, [and Physical 1000, and Dancing with the SuperStars. ]
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{ daniella alonso. female, she/her. } hey, did you see the video of [ lyric ] [ shielding young fans from a falling scaffolding ]? apparently their real name is [ esmeralda castillo velasquez ] and they’re [ signed with kardinal supers ]. people in the comments are calling them [ the household name], and saying their permutation is probably [ talent absorption ] — that would mean they scored a [ b ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ 42 ] year old who would list [ shamelessly indulgent Mediterranean summers, an external veneer of confidence that masks internal fears of irrelevance, selling luxury skincare as a solution for aging ] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv [ & dancing with the superstars ].
{ ash santos. cisfemale, she/her/her’s. } hello agent, did you find the file on [ reina gabriela romero] in the registry? hmm, i figured as much. don't repeat this to anyone else, as this is just a hunch, but isn't there something about them that reminds you of the video of the vigilante [ aegis ] [stopping a fallen motorcyclist from bleeding out and running away when she heard the sirens ]? the running theory is that their permutation is most likely [ immune system manipulation ] and so their rank would be, what, an [ a ] if they were ranked. apparently some people are calling them [ the shielded ]. not sure if a [ 33 ] year old [ er nurse, volunteer at n.e.s.t and legacy of the velveteen underground. ] who has [ hidden tattoos, hair escaping messy ponytails, dark scrubs, clinking of medication bottles in the morning, clinking of beer bottles in the evening ] listed is their interests on alterego fits the suspect profile, but we should keep an eye on them, just in case.
{ cha eun-woo. cis man, he/him. } hey, did you see the video of [ FLICKER ] [ protecting a group of kids from failing debris with an energy shield ]? apparently their real name is [ LEE JAE-YOUNG ] and they’re [ signed with valerian]. people in the comments are calling them [ the wingman ], and saying their permutation is probably [ energy weaponry ] — that would mean they scored a [ b ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ 28 ] year old who would list [ the glow of flickering eyes— like a spark, a rush of adrenaline flooding through the bloodstream, smoke from scented cigarettes, the callouses upon gentle but shaky hands, and a ‘nepotism rocks’ t-shirt ] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv and [ superhearts ].
{ alex aiono, cis male, he/him} hey, did you see the video of [ blaze] [ catch a woman who jumped out of a burning building, mid air ]? apparently their real name is [ dakota richmond ] and they’re [ signed with valerian universal ]. people in the comments are calling them [ the label project ] , and saying their permutation is probably [hyper manuevability] — that would mean they scored an [ a ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ 30 ] year old who would list [ a walk-in closet full of luxurious running gear, ignored calls and messages from home, the split second of silence before the world rushes around you ] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv .
— (penned by shay, 32, eastern time, she/her. )
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⊹*.★ ⁽²⁾ the socialite
{ zendaya, cis-female, she/her} hey, did you see the video of [ nova] [ rebuilding a run-down apartment complex the city forgot about ]? apparently their real name is [ athena irvine ] and they’re [ signed with kardinal supers]. people in the comments are calling them [ the socialite] , and saying their permutation is probably [personal architecture] — that would mean they scored an [ b ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ 30 ] year old who would list [ apartment that's kept at a cold temperature no matter the weather, perfectly organized dark romance novels, spontaneous, solo vacations to the mediterranian sea ] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv .
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{ryoma takeuchi. Cis man, he/him. } hey, did you see the video of [ shaider ] [ melding the collapsing support beam with his bare hand]? apparently their real name is [ ooishi “sunny” dai ] and they’re [ signed with kardinal ]. people in the comments are calling them [ the hotshot ], and saying their permutation is probably [ electric-fire constructs ] — that would mean they scored a [b] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ thirty five ] year old who would list [ an eyeroll behind his tinted sunglasses and perfect veneers, foot steps causing damage in their wake a pristine floor, assorted hair dye test strips to find one that best hides the premature grey hair, the vulnerable face of someone grieving by a tombstone tears streaming down his face ] as their interests on alterego what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv [ and Astronomical Boys & Girls ].
{ jurnee smollett. cis-female, she/her. } well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, [ harper harris ]! you haven’t changed one bit since the last time i saw you. are you still working as a [ ghostwriter for kardinal’s axiaL group ]? oh, you are? well, i don’t mean to overstep, but don’t you think that with your [ harpy physiology ] and [ b ] score on the f.b.a.i. assessment, you could become a steward? aw, come on, don’t be that way! i could see it now, your name in lights, rubbing elbows with all those people on realhero tv [ and Astronomical Boys & Girls and Dancing with the SuperStars! ]… everyone already calls you [ the ghostwriter ], anyway! look, just take this card and think about it, okay? just don’t let them know you’re a [ 37 ] year old who has [ late and lonely nights in a recording booth, tired eyes peering at the spotlight as an aching want is hidden behind a cup of coffee, a helpful critic and a smirk, an apartment floor hidden beneath hundreds of pages filled with lyrics, the sound of a guitar being tuned, and a single yet bloodied black feather falling slowly towards a gaping darkness ] listed as your interests on alterego. what, didn’t think i had an account? please, everyone has one these days!
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⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⊹*.★ ⁽¹⁾ the diamond in the rough
{ maris racal. demigirl, she+they. } hey, did you see the video of [ carat ] [ taking selfies with fans in sunset park ]? apparently their real name is [ nadine almeda ] and they’re [ signed with kardinal supes as a soloist ]. people in the comments are calling them [ the diamond in the rough ], and saying their permutation is probably [ diamond mimicry ] — that would mean they scored an [ a ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ 28 ] year old who would list [ shining for all that can see but struggling to maintain it themselves, as alluring as the stagelights can be they're also blinding, a harsh exterior hiding a tender center; beginning to crack ] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv.
— ( bedazzled by pb. 28. he+they. cst. )
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⊹*.★ ⁽²⁾ the wingman
{ asivak koostachin. nonbinary, they+he. } hey, did you see the video of [ arcflash ] [ taking selfies with fans in sunset park ]? apparently their real name is [ riley natar cairncross ] and they’re [ signed with valerian universal ]. people in the comments are calling them [ the wingman ], and saying their permutation is probably [ energy weaponry ] — that would mean they scored an [ b ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ 32 ] year old who would list [ complicity is boring; always looking for a way to beat the status quo, resentment holding hands beneath the dinner table, the spark of static in the air after a bolt of lightning ] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv.
— ( shocked by pb. 28. he+they. cst. )
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⊹*.★ ⁽³⁾ the trailblazer
{ steve toussaint. cis man, he/him. } hey, did you see the video of [ thaumaturge ] [ getting into online beef with the new everick weather reporter and threatening to throw off their daily forecast for the next twelve months ]? apparently their real name is [ hieronymus ‘jerome’ wallace ] and they’re [ signed with valerian ]. people in the comments are calling them [ the trailblazer ], and saying their permutation is probably [ weather manipulation ] — that would mean they scored an [ a ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ fifty-eight ] year old who would list [a distant crack of thunder, gray clouds drifting like a calm ocean in the sky, the faint scent of petrichor after it rains, and dark robes billowing in a gust of wind ] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv [ and the miraculous marathon ].
— ( cast by kit. 27. she/they. mdt. )
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⊹*.★ ⁽⁴⁾ the perfectionist
{ yasmine al-bustami. cisfemale, she/her/her’s. } hey, did you see the video of [ reverie ] [ standing calmly in front of a criminal as they screamed and ran around in circles ]? apparently their real name is [ adhara al-refaie ] and they’re [ valerian universal inc. ]. people in the comments are calling them [ the perfectionist ], and saying their permutation is probably [ hallucination inducement ] — that would mean they scored an [ a ] on the f.b.a.i. assessment rank, right? i mean, i guess it sort of looks like them, if you squint. i'm not sure though, the person on the video doesn’t look like a [ 35 ] year old who would list [a room full of children’s toys, workout gloves, loud music out of closed doors, the clinking of metal, snapping cameras, old textbooks and clever quips] as their interests on alterego. what? don't look at me like that — i got curious! besides, if that even is them in the video, it’s probably a pr thing for realhero tv. [ and dancing with the super stars ]