#acanoftrash

ah yes. jack and shitty. aka jackshit. u know if u combine shitty's flow and jack's ass u get one (1) standard hockey player

their friendship as we see it in the comic has such chaotic good energy about it and i think a romantic relationship would be Even More So

so shitty is a determined little fucker, we all know this about him, yes? and he also happens to be ride or die in the same way that jack is. so by october of their frog year they're BFFs that's just how the world works

jack is also totally shitty's gay/mlm awakening i Stand By This

in his defense it's not 100% a thirst moment. like it's a lot of tiny little negligible thirst moments whose memories all hit him at once when he's hanging out with jack and jack's like 'you should braid your hair. here let me try' and turns out he actually knows how to braid hair for some reason??? (there's a youtube channel that does recreations of historical braiding styles. i, birl, have spent many hours anxiety procrastinating by watcing this channel. jack does the same i've decided this it's canon now) and shitty's like ffffffffffuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUCK

meanwhile at first jack is like wow. shitty's like. my first real friend whose friendship isn't based on my dad. obviously i feel Incredibly Strongly about him.

once he forms some actual legit strong friendships with other people then he's like Hmm Wow Shitty Is Still Different. i'm going to never think about that ever because i'm jack zimmermann

jack would never have discovered jerrys brunch if shitty hadn't literally covered his eyes to keep him from being able to watch espn until he agreed to go to brunch (shitty's motivation was half 'JERRYS' and half 'jack doesnt need to watch this shit itll freak him out even if he thinks itll help his game')

and then jack is like wow shitty really likes jerrys brunch! how do i show him my deep affection for him?? TAKING HIM TO JERRYS CONSTANTLY

(shitty, internally: does jack. does jack realize. that if he insists on paying for me. this is basically a date.)

when lardo signs on as a manager she and jack hit it off and they spend a lot of time together being the captain and manager, which translates into friendship which translates into lardo talking about how she's like. lowkey into this girl in her drawing class ('i just want her to like, hold my hand and gaze into my eyes as we sit on a picnic blanket in the quad. fucking gross. i'm never this sappy') and jack is like oh huh weird that sounds like how i feel about shitty?? and lardo is like Oh Really. Elaborate

and then jack and lardo have a big conversation about distinguishing between platonic and romantic feelings and lardo solves everything so she's like ya bro that sounds like ur kinda into him and jack's like shit i'm into him

(lardo meanwhile is like if my conversations with the smh captain revolve around his realizing his gay feelings for his teammate then i think managing this team is gonna be fucking amazing)

jack also describes the jerrys brunch outings to her and how he and shitty are just really physically affectionate with each other all the time and she's like jack. those are dates. you're dating him

and then because jack is jack he Immediately goes and locates shitty and is like SHITTY. are we dating. and shitty (internally combusting) is genuinely speechless because what?? the fuck???????? he's been pining for MONTHS????????? and then jack just SAYS THIS?????? and then when shitty doesn't say anything jack just plows on and he's like BECAUSE I WANT TO DATE YOU and shitty's like oh hELL yeah

jack braiding shitty's hair also becomes a Thing it's really relaxing for both of them and that becomes their time to just like be together

shitty: *yelling at the lacrosse house across the street from the haus porch*

jack, next to him: i don't know what you're saying but i'm legally obligated to support you in this. i love you. fuck the lax team

the next year shitty purposefully obstructs the 'ban board games from the haus' movement because jack just looks so smug when he beats holster and it's hilarious and also cute (and hot because everything jack does is, inherently, hot). alas, ransom and johnson still win

jack and shitty, in unison: it wasn't cruel

honestly in terms of like. pda. they're exactly the same as they were before they started dating?? these two are so ridiculously comfortable with being around each other in various states of dress/undress. like even with the added discomfort of 'fuck i'm into him' it's just habitual for them?

in their junior year ollie and/or wicky is like so are you dating and jack (deadpan, arms around shitty who's sitting on his lap with his head hooked over shitty's shoulder) replies 'no this is how i am with all my friends'

and shitty busts out laughing so ollie and/or wicky figures jack's probably not serious and is like 'what about holster' and jack's like 'holster's not my friend'

and then holster somehow hears that from the attic and yells 'WE WOULD BE IF JACK WASN'T SO FUCKING RUDE ALL THE TIME'

sometimes jack uses shitty's shampoo because it smells nicer

intellectual jock power couple

over breaks they are always sending each other little gifts. notable gifts from jack: maple syrup, a pack of satin scrunchies. notable gifts from shitty: shampoo and conditioner (the same kind and scent as his, he's not dumb he knows why jack uses his hair stuff sometimes), socks with a pattern of kittens sitting in teacups on them

(once jack sends shitty weed socks)

jack doesn't have snapchat but shitty does and his snapchat is just. all jack. he has pictures of jack saved to use as reaction photos (mostly jack staring into the camera like the office)

shitty makes up bylaws on the fly for the frogs and jack stands behind him nodding intimidatingly