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waiting šš

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Inspired by this and the fandom headcanon that Susie's home life isn't... that great
āhomeā
Okay actually if I can Argel Tal and Erebus conspiracy again. The fact AT has a nuclear level meltdown about whatever Erebus did (that was deemed āToo Farā) while Erebus;
I.) Isnāt sorry about it and instead of any apologies, just says he Forgives Argel Tal for his reaction (that Argel Tal never asked forgiveness for because he doesnāt regret his reaction)
II.) Doesnāt believe it was ātoo farā in the first place
III.) Doesnāt believe he has Ever hurt Argel Tal before (literally says āHave I ever done you wrong?ā)
Can we infer that whatever was done {theories,,,,} is something Erebus has normalised in his life entirely, perhaps something from his time being a nut case on Colchis - something to do with Chaos. Is he GENUINELY believing the event was nothing because itās something heās been through too?
Or is he posturing?? Does he know whatever happened was wrong deep down but is passing it off as Argel Tal acting like a brat?
I feel like Lorgarās reaction to it is also quite telling; he brushes it off, asks if Argel Tal has forgiven Erebus like Erebus has forgiven him. AT was going to kill Erebus (and maintains that he would have, too, if he could!!!), but Lorgar is like, āWell are you sorry too? Are you done being upset at him? Heās not upset at you, you know.ā And with the bits we get of his childhood, itās no wonder he tries to impose the fawning survival response onto AT - it worked for him!!
Erebus is akin to Argel Talās Kor Phaeron. Master and Acolyte. Father and Son. If Lorgar is aware of what truly was ātoo farā, he wouldnāt see any problem with it as it likely reflected the normalised and ritualised abuse he put up with himself. Sooo⦠does Erebus also view it from this lens? Did Erebus have his own Kor Phaeron that āwent too farā? Did he not and so his methods for Argel Tal went ātoo farā too quickly?
What are the Methods that went too far? Was he pushing Argel Tal to partake in chaos rituals early on? We know the Word Bearers in general, even pre heresy, put themselves through all sorts of pain and punishment even just for contemplation. Abuse is pretty normalised for Word Bearers.
So what is Pushing It Too Far!!!! What causes the acolyte of THE First Chaplain to lose his composure so far as to attempt to commit the very first act of Astartes-fratricide? Hello!!!!
SMDWIOKNT PART 2: aftermath
For those who wanted a little p2 to this (also for me bc i needed to end on a positive note) I kind of fudge the height difference a lot in this

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Children deserve patience.
I remember all the times growing up that Iād get in trouble for something I said or did, and Iād get in more trouble when I asked for an explanation. I was told I was ātalking backā or being a āsmart assā when I literally was just trying to understand.
I also find that Iād get punished for being emotional. Even if I didnāt handle them in the right way, that was an opportunity to teach me how to handle them better. Instead I got in trouble and it just taught me to suppress my emotions. And honestly? Adults have bad days and difficulty handling their emotions. But somehow as a child, I was punished for not being perfect.
I think, for my parents at least, theyād get upset and ask why I was disrespecting them or doing something to them. And I think thatās the problem. They took my actions to mean I was maliciously trying to upset them when that was never the case. Instead of sitting back and trying to figure out why a child might be doing what theyāre doing, they took it personally and thatās what made them so angry. If you think someone is intentionally trying to upset you, itās going to likely upset you. And that wasnāt a fair assumption to make.
Children deserve patience and the benefit of the doubt.
current events have me so flustered emotional and sick. for this to converge with me just tiptoeing into genuine empathy for littlesarah is so cruel. what on earth did she ever do to deserve any of that. and to be denied systemically the language to name it.