#absurdpicsofbagel

i had a later shift than usual because i'm spending more time studying this week (which has already been taking up half of my mental capacity tank), but apparently the store was really busy all day.

and of course, an HOUR before we have to close the store gets super busy again. we had a third person in as a temporary employee so me and my coworker were showing her the ropes while also dealing with the customers while ALSO dealing with closing duties. she's the sweetest btw, i met her before this and i love that she's here she is not on my plate of worries.

anyway, 30min before closing i can feel myself like; i don't even know how to describe it. when i think back on it, the whole memory feels blurry but i know that i could clearly see in the moment. my thoughts were so loud yet so fast that they felt like static in my mind when i really needed to focus. i just remember that i kept trying to pull myself back into reality and think, "okay, what do i have to do now?"

but then i worry that i look like i'm not being productive when there's a LOT of stuff to do, so i start disassociating (i think? i know i started viewing myself from an third person view because i was imagining how stupid i looked).

i can't even really remember much of how i felt or what happened other than small memorable thoughts i had and what i was doing. like, i was eavesdropping on my coworker's conversation because she was talking about the concert she went to, and i remember thinking, "i would call that artist's genre trap or club music, is that correct?", while ringing someone up. AND THAT'S ONE OF THE ONLY CLEAR MEMORIES. it is such an irrelevant memory but that's what i can retain.