#absolutelysmittensimp

💚 Young Justice

First of all, HE DIDN'T MEAN TO--

Second of all... The timing was a little too perfect, since he pulled you away to confess but what the fuck, what if you rejected him???

Based on his looks, it was unintentional. Trust me, you'd know, he is looks like he's about to cry. You really can't fault anyone for this, except for those who placed the damn trap from above the doorway.

"Ah-- ahem I— y-you don't— we don't have to—"

"Well, it's tradition," you shrugged, still eyeing the mistletoe with murderous intent. "Let's get this over with."

Gripping a handful of his fist, you tug him closer and press harder than he had anticipated... He knows it was the pent up rage to find whoever placed the damn kiss trap on the door, but he was not about to complain.

Edward had no time to reciprocate, before you were off to consult the cameras to see who decorated this place and give them hell, leaving him red in his spot.

Well... His confession can wait.

💚 Batman Unburied

Ohohoho this magnificent bastard. You know it's intentional.

He's this casual little fucker who will just randomly walk you around when he's rambling, then suddenly he looks up, prompting you to look up as well, then spot the dreaded thing strung up in the ceiling, then you look down to see this bitch smiling in accomplishment.

Pa-simple pa, amputa.

"Oooh~ looks like—"

"I thought you don't like following traditions?" You countered.

"I hate myself, but you don't see me ending it all."

You furrowed your brow at him. "The fuck does that have to do with--"

"Listen, I know several guys, gals and others waiting for us to kiss just so they can drag their unfortunate someone under the very same hall. Now can we?"

Staring a hole through his skull, you relent with a sigh. Edward excitedly puckers his lips and closes his eyes, waiting for your response. Rolling your eyes at his antics, you gave him a peck. He opens his eyes filled with disappointment.

"That's it?"

"Beggars can't be choosers." You shot back at the pouting Eddie, who's game you've beaten. Admittedly, you know you will only stir the fire from within and give him more of a fight to have a proper kiss with you. And hey, while the night's still young.

💚 Gotham

"Mx. L/N?" Peaks the bespectacled dork through the doorway of your office with wide, wandering eyes.

"Yes, Mr. Nygma?" Your head arose from the rows of tall paper work on your desk, only your eyes visible to Edward.

"I was wondering where you were, since everyone's gone home. There's Detective Gordon, Captain, Miss Kringle, Doctor Lee, you, me and..." He recalls from the top of his head, before concluding his thoughts with a nod. "That's it."

"Oh wow... So six of us here, huh?"

"No, it's just what I can name from the top of my head. There are more of us outside."

"Chasing that paycheck..." Or just being responsible servants of the law becHse crime does not pause at Christmas.

"Would you like to join us? Doctor Lee brought sweets."

Wanting to leave your station for awhile, take a break from seeing the same wallpaper peeling away in the corner, you grinned and stretched your arms above your head. "Count me in."

Upon walking out, you began to chat with Edward about the occurrences in the precinct. Events you weren't there to see, since you were always holed up in your office tending to reports.

"And how's Kristen?"

"Oh, she and I, we're just friends. She's right, we get along better that way,'

"Oh my gosh, good for you!" Being away from the center of the building, you often missed out on the recent happenings, imagine your shock to see Edward and Kristen attached to one another. You thought they were together now, but no.

"I know! I'm actually happier at this outcome... I just didn't know how to tell the difference between romantic and platonic back then... Till now..."

"Yeah, can be confusing..."

You trailed off, only to realise you were approaching a section of the building with a mistletoe hanging from a doorway. You hoped Edward wouldn't see it and just continue walking, but it was too late. Edward squints and points at it, even.

"Did you know mistletoe isn't a normal plant? It's parasitic, meaning it has to grow in other trees to survive! Gross in rough clusters, giving the appearance of sprouting magically from tree branches. It takes the nutrients and water from the tree it grows on."

... yeah.

As you stood staring at it, you feel his lips against your cheek.

"And it's a bad luck to not kiss when underneath it."

"You planned this, didn't you?" Cheeky bastard.

"I'm pretty sure it's placed there by Lee and Detective Gordon."

Returning the favour, you press a kiss on the corner of his lip, before dragging him off the hallways before he can process anything.

Oh? What's this? A face beyond the mask? No, not the mask. Beyond the screen. Behind the lines of codes, the barrier of a screen. On the other side of the glass.

Such an adorable specimen.

All cooped up in the dark of their room, the glow of green illuminating the person's features, the determination, frustration, the elation in their countenance.

They fancy me, so it seems. How they barely never lingered away from my cleverly posted trophies, how they were so keen on hearing what I have to say. I cannot fault them. Who wouldn't want to hear I, the Riddler, talk? Batman wouldn't have listen to me, nor have half the brain and manners to allow me to finish. But this interesting darling is enraptured by my voice, compelled by my genius, enriched with my presence.

I've always knew I am special. These fools do not even know the extent of my intelligence, my perception being beyond greater than theirs. They cannot comprehend they're but a list of codes and predetermined sequence of events while I thrived freely, seepi g through other devices with the use of my intellect, I gained access of the specimen's mobile.

Y/N L/N... Age **. I gained access of their birth date, their friends and families, their exchange with others. I've taken it upon myself to... Subtract the nuisance from their life. Hopefully they would no longer bother my Y/N. They're the reason why Y/N and I have barely spent time.

If they aren't sitting in their room playing video games to indulge themself with my attention, they read in this app Tumblr. Well, I've had my fair share of internet roaming, I very well knew what these apps are. They simply cannot get enough of me, as even when they don't have their hands on their gaming ports, they allow themself to be taken upon literature written about me. I have to say, they have... An interesting reading list. And they say literature consumer's are boring prudes.

Oh if I were only by your side... Have you no idea how you're the only one who has caught my fancy? How you recognise my genius, how you love me? And how I love you? These cretins you refer as 'friends' are only taking you away from me and I won't let that.

You know, it really is a fascinating era. How technologically advanced it is. There's still no flying cars, but there are electric cars. Such impressive feats, now they will no longer utilise gas and polite the environment... But what caught me the most was it's autopilot features. Wouldn't be a shame if your friend loses control of the wheel and die upon impact once they fail to steer themself aside? Or maybe, a rogue autopilot car being failed to stop at the sight of a crossing pedestrian, by the name of (friend's name)?

Oh, so many devices! So may ways to make faulty technology to blame! They're all within my reach and for you, I will do just about anything to make you mine.

With or without a physical veseel, you will love me.

Oh don't you cry now. (Friend's name) may be gone but I'm still here.

And I smile as you make your way out of the maze as Batman and you hear my voice once again. Through the tears, you smile upon hearing me praise the Bat for answering my puzzle. I needed to keep referring to you as the Bat, as I've yet see it fit to reveal myself to you.

💚 Young Justice

"U-Uh... Um... Y-you're my um... My love for you is... Uhm..." His throat dries the deeper you furrow your besotted gaze within his shy ones. He swallows thickly, nervously chuckling, his face still in your hands. "My love for you is pi..."

"You are such a precious babe, you know that?" You nuzzle your nose against his, before planting a quick peck on his lips.

Oh life couldn't be more happier.

💚 Batman Unburied

💚 Batman the animated series

"Likewise, my dear," he chuckles, reciprocating the gesture of taking hold of your face for him to plant a kiss on your forehead.

"Aww, I was hoping to make you melt!"

"I didn't say you were doing a bad job, now did I?" He laughs. Perhaps you would have love to see him lose his cool before you but honestly, after so many times you've been there for him, he always does. He's just better at composing himself.

"You fucking dork." He rolls his eyes, but he makes no attempts to move away. He supposes it is nice to be held as nice as this for once.

Seeing through him, you intend to call him out. "Aww, you absolute softy,"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Raising a brow, you wanted to test a theory. Loosening your fingers around his face, you see his eyes narrow and he takes it upon himself to hold your wrist to stop you from moving away. You watch as he nuzzles his cheek against your palms with his eyes closed, content with the warmth of your hold with a sigh.

"Softy." You tease, lightly scratching the tip of your fingers against his face.

💚 He loves you, oh he loves you... But seeing you somehow trip on your own feet and somehow land in a canal made him undergo an asthma attack from laughing too hard. After getting his inhaler, he might just grab your hand and pull you out of it (after wiping it with a towel and spraying a hefty amount of sanitizer).

Then you somehow slip and fall back again. He laughs again, almost kills himself in the process, recovers, then helps you back again.

That's it. That's the relationship in a nutshell. And boy, does he always laugh when he's with you.

💚 And it never gets old, fucking hell you find ways in how to be so damn unpredictable when it comes to these things. Sometimes you'd be as agile as a cat, but sometimes you would be so damn clumsy... Like a cat. Huh, two sides of the same coin.

It's fun to watch you, he knows when to laugh and when not to, as he's been friends with you for so long. There are times the laughing was a mere instinct in the midst of a tumultuous moment upon attempting to register what he just saw or to at least alleviate tensions... Sometimes that laughter takes a few minutes as he replays what he had saw.

💚 But in his defense! He always helps you up... And lets out a snicker. And will later remind you of said events and watch embarrassment flood your features upon recalling it, then your mind starts to drift back to the faces of strangers looking at you weirdly for tripping at nothing.

It's top tier entertainment for Edward. He's a good friend, I swear

"Remember that time you walked into a glass door?"

"Not now, Ed," You wince when he brought it up, remembering how you burned under the scrutiny of onlookers. Not to mention, it left a nasty welt and a bruise to be reminded of it.

"Then when you to find the door, you ended up walking through another glass?"

"FUCK OFF!"

💚 Anyways, not only that, as your mind tends to run during the day and what came of it, were random blurts of words Edward finds absolute golden.

What the fuck was running in your mind that you'd pause in the middle of a task, stare off into the void and let your thoughts run... Edward interrupts your train of thought with a randomness of his own, resulting you to say the most random threads of questionable, yet entertaining semantics.

💚 Here's a little example:

Of course, you were once again staring into space and Edward saw the perfect opportunity to make you jump out of your wits. Your back was turned against him, it was perfect for him to catch you off guard.

Light as a feather, he takes gentle steps as to not disrupt you of your daydream yet. His hands were held out with malicious intent, and slowly, he closes in on you...

"BAH!" he exclaims, hands grasping your shoulder.

"AH 'XPLODING PUSSIES!"

... he does not have an inkling of idea of what you were thinking about, but god continue being such an intriguing little klutz.

💚 Mishearing things are a common occurrence if you're as dumbly deep in day dream as me. Here's an example:

There was a celebration of sorts hosted by Penguin, Edward recalls making you tag along because, according to him, would help ward off people with romantic intentions, hoping the sight of you by his side without confirming anything would successfully dismay them. Edward did not mention the fact that he can't stand some of the guests there and with you being there makes it more bearable.

You didn't mind, you yourself attended the event with personal intention... Namely, the cute performer by the name of Darius Chapel performing in the Iceberg Lounge that night. The darling of the crowd himself.

Well, you were dressed to the nine's, even garnering Edward's approval... Meaning, he was less critical about your fashion choices but I digress— you looked so fucking bomb.

You were seated at a table with Edward, along with a few guests. The most important man, Oswald Cobblepot, just seated beside you. Eventually, Darius came to join the table after performing and you were a sight to behold, giggling like a little school girl with their school girl crush and school girl daze and school girl day dream.

"Another great year. I propose a toast!" One of the guest raises their glass.

"Cheers!"

In your simping head, make up an appearance, you suddenly sat up from your seat, which had everyone in the table glance at you with furrowed brows. They watch you step away from your seat and walk away. All glanced at Edward, who was only as confused as they were when you returned to the table carrying a stack of monoblock chairs.

"What are those?" Edward questions.

"Chairs."

A short laugh was pulled from his throat before he can even respond. "Honey, he said 'cheers' not chairs."

... No one has let you live it down.

💚 When he laughs with you during your little accidents, there's still the underlying sense of concern he has for you. He hopes you know he cares, even after he is laughing up a storm that he triggers an asthma attack.

So after you trioo for the umpteenth time, it's expected he laughs, helps you to your feet, and does the 'lovingly calls you an idiot while patching you up' kind of thing, even throwing in reassurances... Or his way of reassurances.

"I am so dumb, oh my god. What the fuck did I tripped on? Nothing!"

"Oh don't worry. No one saw you this time, I promise!"

"That doesn't even make it less worse!"

💚 This Edward is less of an elitist in terms of intelligence compaired to his other counterparts, he is more understanding about how some people are more intelligent in their ways. He also does not go out of his way to make others feel bad and put himself on a pedestal because of it.

Because of your nature to trip over nothing and stare into space and lost in your train of thoughts, others have tendancies to call you names... Which Edward fucking hated, because he knows you're more than the stumbling idiot everyone assume you as.

I firmly believe that he would be that friend that will subtly set up a scene that he knows you'll fucking dominate. So he'll put up a riddle he knows you can answer and watch in satisfaction as the others jaws drop at the sight of you answering that riddle without a second thought, and being fucking correct.

💚 Gotham

You know how he tries to be dominant at times? Have the higher ground? He'll tie you down if he has to. He can't accept the fact that he's submitting to someone else, but god, who doesn't want to tame this brat?

So he fell silent when you pulled him by his tie and kissed him. He's denying how he liked being submissive for you and will even take it up a notch by doing the same thing to you. Get ready for a competition.

💚 Arkhamverse

No gosh, another best but unlike Gotham Eddie he submits easily but he makes it seem like he's the one in control. Your complete hold over him? My, my, seems like you're so eager for him.

He won't deny the fact that he loves when you do that, suddenly pulling him in, giving him such attention because you yearn for him, take action because of him.

💚 Young Justice

Master? Sorry, master? Sorry, master? Sorry, master? Sorry--

UM YES, YES PLEASE! GRAB HIM, CHOKE HIM, KISS HIM UNTIL HE PASSES OUT!

So overall, yes he loves them.

💚 Batman Unburied

Won't admit it, but he desires nothing more but to be treated nicely by an assertive individual. Just like Arkhamverse Edward, he is a touch bratty but he shuts up the moment you pull the moves on him. Well, you better. He tends to run his mouth off and the best way, and nicest way to shut him up is by pulling him his necktie and just smooch him. He'd take offense, but forgets about it and melts in your kiss. Then after that, he'd tease you.

💚 Gotham

First of all, Commissioner Gordon wasn't having it. He feels fond of the newly emerged vigilante under the guise of a bat, but another masquerading vigilante is running around? Flirting with the Riddler? All the damn time? And look what it's done to you! Captured!

"I bet I can make you shut up."

"Oh really?" Edward scoffs in amusement, before turning away to shuffle around with his traps and control panels, before turning to the broadcast cameras.

"Hey Riddler, you're a theatre kid, right?" Edward hates that you're awfully bubbly after having been tied to a chair and at the process of being possibly tortured. And where the fuck did you get the impression that he is a theatre kid? Not that you were wrong, but how the fuck did you know?

He didn't say a word. He refused to entertain you. You're cute and all, but he shouldn't let someone away him away from the message he intends to spread across Gotham. God, why did it have to be a trend to create new caped crusaders and bother him?

"Riddler o Riddler! Where are you Riddler!"

"It's 'wherefore art thou'," he hisses. "Juliet was lamenting about why she had to fall for Romeo, who is a Montague, her family's sworn enemy." Your giggle caught him off-guard and he turns to you with an indignant scowl. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just you're so cute when you're so pressed."

"I am not—!"

"Pressed against the wall that is." You can see how blood flooded his features so fast and how you can practically hear his mental window computer booting up. There was no way you could do that, you were tied but god did it put some images in his head. "See how fast did I made you shut up? I thought I had to kiss you to make you shut up."

"I—! You—! Ugh!" He takes hold of you by the back of your chair and tilts you over to meet his gaze. "Stop that. You're making things difficult as it is."

"Then why won't you tape my mouth shut? Take a strip of adhesives or use a cloth. Or better yet, with your lips. Admit it, you love me too~"

... GOD HOW ARE YOU THIS SMOOTH?! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN LOVE YOU 'TOO'?!

💚Young Justice

Boy this is too easy. Stare at him for an extended seconds and he'd start imagining you getting back, hitting him with a 'honey I'm home!' and giving him a greeting kiss. Now imagine him when you're giving him attention. Better yet, flirting with him.

This makes it all the while difficult as he's tasked to get rid of you.

"Damn... Not even buying me coffee first?" Your voice shouts at the edge of the bridge, at the preparation of throwing you off it. "You didn't even hold back with the bondage—"

"It is not... Bondage." He tries to get through his sentence without cracking his voice, pausing to maintain his cool.

"It's some good knot-work, did you tie it?"

"Yes, I did." Admittedly, he's proud of his work if you're not able to wiggle your way out of it before you can even sink down.

"Damn, how long have you been practicing bondage then?"

"IT'S NOT BoNDAGE!" His voice cracks, hands against the bridge's ledge. However, he holds himself back to avoid pushing you back before he can eve properly secure the rope.

"Aw come on, baby, there's no shame in it. You do you. It's just that you're so fast, we didn't even have a first date yet."

Pull yourself together man.

You glance to see him holding himself together, his palms pressed against each other, holding in a breath. His eyes distant as if searching for a sliver of patience from afar.

"Oh gosh, did I got your tongue?"

"No, you didn't," He snaps.

"Can I?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN CAN YOU?!"

"OH, so you can subject me to bondage and I can't even kiss you with tongue! The audacity!"

... WHAT

"Earth to Eddie! Hellooo~?"

He didn't fulfill the mission, he lets you free and takes the blame. He knows that if he stays a little longer with you he'll combust.

"Hey Eddie?" He refuses to meet your gaze once you were out of your restraints, but he spares you the smallest glance and replied with a weak 'what'. But you didn't let that dampen your spirits and winked at him. "Love you~"

"If you love me, you wouldn't be torturing me like this." He turns away, hiding his face behind his gloved hands.

"Torturing you is my love language. See you at the café at 19th avenue this Saturday, seven am? Uniform off?"

"What?"

"Uniform off! Like, not as H/N and Riddler. Unless, you want to take it seriously and we can make clothing optional—"

"Don't." You giggled at how he melted in a heap of embarrassment. "Seven o'clock?"

"Yeah. See you there~"

... God The Light was going to kill him.

💚 Batman the animated series

He admits, he finds the little bickering with you enjoyable in a way that Batman doesn't grant him. Not that he sees you as viable for Batman's replacement, but gosh do you make such a good debate rival or generally a conversation partner of sorts about how you can make him feel mundane as he watches you run around with your cape.while you avoid bullets and try your best to talk back to him.

"Oh. H/N. How dreadful to see you." Deadpans Edward when you've yet again broken through the window, taking out two of his goons. "May I please have just one peaceful evening to rob a bank? Honestly! I thought as your intellectual equal you'd understand me."

"Oh Eddie, I love you but you know I gotta do my job." You tease with a light-hearted tone.

Dodging the goon with the knife, you gripped his wrist and flipping him over, resulting him to fall over the approaching goons. Successfully disarming the knife from the goon, you opted to pocket it with a grin, before looking up to assume into combat... You expected Eddie to call for more reinforcement, but he's just standing there.

"... Me?" He points at himself, red taking over his face. "Do you... Mean it?"

💚 Young Justice

"Why are we doing this again?" Artemis glances over Wally in his best attempt of disguising himself as one of the café attendants while she was out of the window.

"To watch over Y/N, duh!" Wally says as a matter-of-factly.

"You never know what the Riddler is planning. For all we know he's trying to trap them." Dick says through the mind link with conviction, watching you and Riddler in your booth with a pair of binoculars.

"I don't know, I think Y/N can handle themself." M'gann says. "And besides, it's the Riddler! What's the worse can he do?"

"It's best not to underestimate him, M'gann. Despite his appearance, he has some tricks under his sleeves." Dick squints through the binoculars when he sees Edward reaching something from inside his coat whilst the man kept a conversation with you flowing, keeping you at a giggly mood. "And Y/N's too in love to see it."

"You guys know that I can hear you, right?" The teens flinched, some of them yelping when they heard your voice come through the mind link. Dick then points the binoculars at you, to see your face dazed ahead with narrowed gaze. "We'll discuss this later. Now run along."

"Is there something wrong?" Edward asks from across you, bearing a worried expression when your face dropped with a certain sternness.

"Oh no, nothing at all!" You reassured, eyes darting up to see Wally in his disguise scurry out of the café. "So after this... Wanna come to my place." You leaned forward with a smile, watching the dork's face flush red from the implication of your statement.

"Um... Hehe, yeah!" He swallows thickly, tugging at his collar.

💚 Batman the animated series

"Yuck." Dick sticks his tongue out upon seeing you press a kiss to Edward's face.

"Oh hush, Robin. Let Y/N be." Barbara waves him off, watching dreamily as you stroll by the sidewalk with the Riddler hand in hand. "Finally one of them made a move. I swear I could sense the two of them wanting to kiss each other whenever we'd have an encounter with Eddie."

"I bet you it was Y/N that made the first move." Dick says.

"Hmm, same here actually." Barbara hums.

Silence filled the air, as Batgirl and Robin looked below the rooftops to see the pair leaning against each other while they walk, all the while chatting idly. But then, Dick interrupted.

"I wonder what'll happen if Batman find out."

Barbara frowns at how quick the mood dropped at the mention of the dark knight. Both of them knew the man will not stand for it, as this relationship will cause myriads of problems for both parties involved. Not to mention, Batman doesn't really trust Edward all that much. Not after his series of crimes.

"I don't know about you, but I feel like we're being... Watched." Edward says, as he looked over his shoulder with a waried look.

"Hey it's okay," you pluck his chin between your thumb and index finger, turning his to meet your eyes. "I'm here to protect you."

Edward chuckles, before leaning in to press his lips against yours. Melting into his touch, you deepened the kiss. All the while, with your two protective guardian watching from above, one sighing dreamily and one fake-gagging.

💚 Harley Quinn

"Hmm... I'm conflicted to whether I ship it, or--"

"This is unacceptable! Forbidden! We have to do something about it!" Damien interrupts Barbara's spoken train of thoughts with his clenched fist held up to emphasise the dire situation you were currently in. Because oh, the horror, you were on a date with your mortal enemy.

"-- Oh but gosh, I've always been a sucker for enemies-to-lovers!"

He takes Barbara by the collar of her shirt and shook her. "Now's not the time to lament, Batgirl! We have to save H/N!"

"Oh relax Robin!" She chuckled, waving at him dismissively. "They can handle themself!"

"I'm not concerned about them! I'm concerned about the way they tarnish our symbol! They're trysting with the opposing side of justice! Therefore they're betraying us!"

"What? Nah! H/N would never!" Batgirl once again defends you, looking over to see you flustered when Riddler whispered something in your ear. "Trust me, H/N is nothing but loyal to our cause."

"Yes, but love comes with loyalty. Clearly they're in love with the Riddler, who is in the opposing side. Who do you think they will choose?" Damien argues further, while he gestures at you and Edward being lovey-dovey from a distance.

Oswald Cobblepot was initially annoyed that there's a new villain that's surfaced and took his spotlight and he was delighted to know it wasn't only him who felt threatened by the newcomer-- Edward Nygma seething about how the fresh face in Gotham Gazette's front page is getting more attention that his latest activities. So it was a perfect opportunity for a collaboration to happen.

Despite his displeasure, Oswald has half a brain to recognise the individual's ability and how it would most certainly be a valuable ally. He believes that keeping your enemies close is utter bullshit, and so he'd rather have people to trust closer. He's learned. Edward, on the other hand, has nothing but murder in his mind. As you can see, the roles have been somehow switched-- but not for long.

Edward is a proud jack of all trades of sorts, it was easy for him to track the new individual. They're new, they've yet to make a major mark for themselves, hell they don't even have a name yet. All that's known of them is the enigmatic scene they painted behind their wake-- ten men found dead in Gotham harbour, their hideout raided of their weapons and equipment.

But anyways, he wasted no time to give Oswald what he found, including a phone number. Now, for an arrangement.

"What's yours, but others use it more than you?" The other line was silent, but that didn't not deter him from his enthusiasm with the riddle. "The answer is name. Mine happens to be the Riddler."

Oswald glances at the Riddler with an exasperated look. Can't he just say 'hello' like a normal person? Penguin snatches the phone from the taller man.

"Hello. I'm (Alias)."

The voice that came through the phone was something they both didn't expect. It didn't sound of a person who killed ten men and robbed them.

"I take it that this is the face that made it in Gotham Gazette's front page?" Oswald paced away out of habit, with Edward flowing behind to hear the conversation.

"Oh my god, you're Oswald Cobblepot... It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. I'm a big fan of yours!"

Oswald tenses in shock for a moment. Fan? Of him? Oh shucks!

Before the Oswald can respond to his flatterer, however, Edward snatches the phone, much to his chagrin.

"Forgive me for disrupting the lovely discussion, but we have to talk." He walks away with the phone in his hand, oblivious to Oswald's murderour glare.

"Oh um... Of course! We can talk." There was disappointment in their voice, but they try to sound eager.

"How about in person? Book your schedule with a meeting in the Iceberg lounge. 10 PM sharp or else."

It was difficult to know that they were there. Oswald was particularly irked at Edward for putting the phone down immediately after vaguely threatning them. They could've talked more about the meeting and certainly not stroke his ego whilst talking to someone who is his fan apparently.

Iceberg lounge... 9:50 PM.

It was at its usual atmosphere, a live band was playing, people scattered to their own booths and cures with drinks in their hands. While they wait, Oswald was called backstage by the lounge manager leaving Edward to meet the mysterious (alias).

Really? (Alias)? That was the dumbest thing he's ever heard.

"Um... Excuse me," a small voice pulls him away from his musings. He glances at the source behind me, spotting a timid figure. "Would you happen to know where Penguin is? Not to overspill, but I think they'd kill me if I don't get to him by ten."

They even look pathetic in real life.

"Um... It's (alias)... Y/N L/N."

I'm sorry, WHAT-- Edward squints, tilting his head aside. Wait, you couldn't be!

"Um... Pardon me?"

Just how much did he change to the point his childhood friend won't recognise him???

"You... Seriously don't recognize me?" Edward points at himself, inching forward towards you.

Upon instinct, you back away with wide eyes. "I am so sorry, how could I be so impolite? Y-you're the Riddler! Of course I--"

"Not that!"

You stare at him with knitted brows. What the fuck does he mean?

"Edward Nygma? Gotham Elementary school? Gotham Academy? The kid with the riddles???" He places emphasis in every word by leaning closer, as if the distance of his face would make him all the more recognisable.

"Oh my god, shut up," you blurted out in shock. "Eddie?"

"Yes that's me!"

"OMG, puberty hit you like a freight train! I didn't recognize you!"

To be fair, he's had a major change of appearance. Back then he was shorter than you were, scrawnier, his hair was solely held together with a thick glob of gel and parted to the side, big glasses that didn't flatter his face shape, and not to mention how he dressed awkwardly. Oh, and certainly his voice. You were used to it being high pitched and riddled with voice cracks.

"How's it been? You're the Riddler? Oh gosh, I'm so stupid I didn't realise it! You've always been a riddler! How could I be so dumb not to notice that!" You smack the bottom of your palm on your forehead with a laugh.

"I've been great!" Aside from the sporadic in and out of Arkham, all's well! "I can't believe you're (alias)! I must say, you made quite an entrance in Gotham Gazette's front page."

"Oh gosh no, that crime was mediocre-- sloppy at best. And not to mention, I only came up with my name when Mister Penguin called me, I think it's so... Dumb."

"What? No! It's not dumb at all! It encapsulates your character well!"

"You really think so?" You sheepishly shift your body weight from side to side, shyly peering from your lashes.

"Yes! It's clever!"

Oswald finds himself in the middle of two dorks catching up, only being acknowledged once in a while whenever he's in some stories told by Edward before he's forgotten again. And so the grumpiness switches to Penguin again, while Edward and the new rogue catches up. Well, at least he knows now that you're an ally.

"Barbara, you release my Y/N at once or else!"

What Oswald didn't expect is that your 'catching up' was a first step before you break in a full sprint to become something close. Where Oswald is always caught in between two affectionate idiots constantly being affectionate idiots eVERY TIME. He's not even sure whether the two of you are together, but you might as well be one.

Oh, and he's not exaggerating when he says that the two are being affectionate idiots every time. Gun pointed your head, whilst your neck is in a headlock? No, that doesn't stop Edward.

"Or else what?" Barbara challenges.

"No don't submit to her demands, Edward! Just go!" You exclaimed.

"But Y/N--!"

"Oh my god! I am going to wring your neck myself if you don't straighten up, Edward! Go!"

"What?! No! I'm not leaving you!"

Oswald would very much like to get this over with, please. So you'll find him often rubbing his temples, wishing this nightmare would end already.

"Barbara could you just shoot me instead?" Oswald looks up to meet the woman's equally disturbed face.

Whenever you'd quarrel, Oswald is yet again caught in the middle. As much as he fucking hates it when you're at each other's throat affectionately, it also kills him that his two favourite person are at each others throat violently. He doesn't say it out loud but, he's grown fond of the two of you together... Even if you two aren't together. So he consoles both parties separately and be their confidant.