#aboutjess

Jessica Lee Moore I 32 I Human I FC – Adrianne Palicki

Jessica Moore was the girlfriend of Samuel Winchester at Stanford University. He was always secretive of his life before Stanford, and although they’d gotten into a few fights about him not being able to trust her with it, it didn’t deter her from falling in love with him. When Dean came to their apartment, it led Sam to leave for the weekend with him, without an explanation. While he was gone, Jess was killed by their friend Brady, a demon who had purposely planted Sam with Jess just to take her away and get him back into the hunting business. The last thing she saw was Dean pulling Sam out of the apartment as she burnt on the ceiling or at least, that’s what she thought.

It all started on April 10th, where a couple in love for 10 years prior had a baby girl born with a head of hair that they called a "red mohawk." My mom and I had an instant connection as soon as I was born. She called me the apple of her eye and her pride and joy from day 1. From the minute I could speak and walk, we were inseparable. We did everything together from arts and crafts, cooking, dressing up to playing games. Until the age of six, I was alone with the best two parents I could ask for. My dad worked all day to make sure he could provide his wife and children the best life he could because his father walked out on him at a very young age. He vowed to never follow in his foot steps. 

At the age of 5, my mom confided in me that she was pregnant with twins. The trust she placed in me at such a young age was demonstrative of our future years together thus far. My beautiful younger sisters were born and became who I continue to call my best friends. They began to get all the attention from others because they were the tiniest, cutest, little things in the world, however my mom never let me go unnoticed. Whenever someone would comment on the twins, she would always fire back with "look at their beautiful older sister Jessica." She granted me such confidence in myself and really helped shape who I am today. 

My mom was a stay at home parent throughout my elementary years and raised her children as a mother should. My dad, all the while, at work making money to afford a decent lifestyle for the now five people living in our home. We had ups and downs as every family does and there were many times where raising twins and a 6 year old became unbearable. But they toughed it out. As the years progressed my little family became super close and tight-nit. 

At the age of 11 forever, madness broke out at home. My dad decided he didn't want to be a father anymore. He bought his own car and began to come and go as he pleased. Going out after work, spending long hours on the computer, not caring what his 4 girls were doing right upstairs from the bedroom that he moved into and now called his own.  Life was a mess back then, whenever I would go downstairs to simply ask him a question, he would yell and scream and push me out of "his space." He was very emotionally abusive throughout the two years he made our lives miserable. When I was 13, he moved out of the house while I was at school. I came home to my mother crying, having to bare the bad news to my sisters and I. They were only 8 at the time, so it was extremely hard on all of us. There were many days spent crying, and many fights over the phone with my dad. I always wondered how a man can just abandon his family like he did. Anyway, that whole year my mom was my rock and helped us build our life back together.

Throughout this madness, I began a long term relationship with my exboyfriend of three years. In the first three months of our relationship, he kissed my best friend while drinking one night at a party. He called me the next day in utter distress and confessed everything to me. Needless to say, I took him back which is something I vowed I would never do. It ended up being a good choice because our relationship lasted 3 years after that. He was my first and only real love in my life. He really made me feel like a princess and showed me how I am supposed to be treated by the man in my life. We ended up breaking up due to the fact that he was two and a half years older than me and we were in very different places in our lives. It was just time, and it needed to be done even though we were very much in love. My dad never got the opportunity to know him because we had absolutely no relationship at this time. 

During these three years, my grandmother (my mom's mother) who had stepped in as my second mother passed away. This made my world, and my families world come crashing down once again. It was a loss that all of us felt deep inside and one we knew would be hard to recover from. She was such a beautiful woman, a true loss for the world my family.

From the minute my grandmother passed away, my mother took my grandfather in. He moved in the room downstairs, that once was occupied by my father and never left. He spend nine years living in my home with us and truly stepped up as my surrogate dad. I truly could not have asked for a more wonderful role model in my life. Throughout the nine years of him living with me, my fathers side of the family decided they didn't want a relationship with myself of my sisters, so I lost two grandparents, an aunt, uncle and cousins and father. This didn't hinder us though, it in fact, helped us. The five of us (my grandpa, mom, sisters and I) grew closer and closer and formed what we liked to call "our team." 

Throughout these years, there were a few boys in my life. No one extremely relevant however. No one who made me feel like my first love did. I developed friendships with people who remain constant in my life still and who I'm not sure what or where I would be without them. My best friend in particular keeps me grounded. She reminds me constantly that she is my rock through it all and has not let me down since. I'm so lucky to have her in my life. She was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes at age 12 and has never let that bring her down. It has made her an incredibly strong, resilient person who inspires me each and everyday. In light of this, my three best friends and I have created a fundraiser that has grown from a barbecue with 40 people to an event consisting of 300 people. We have raised over $75,000 for the association by holding these non profit events which usually take place in May. They are something I'm so ridiculously proud of and so happy to have helped found them. 

Throughout this time I also completed a degree in Human Relations and Psychology and have been actively working in my field for the past three years. I hope to one day in the near future work in corporate events for a large corporation. Preferably a young and booming company. 

Bringing this back down to my life, December 2012 was one of the hardest months I have endured thus far. I lost my grandfather to a heart condition. This was the most devastating event my family could possibly go through. As I mentioned before, grandpa was part of our team. He became our team mascot and part of my home. Prior to December, we would spend every waking moment together so this was particularly hard on me. My mom became his primary care giver and would go through very rough times having to care for someone who was so sick. He was the most unbelievable man. A true fighter in every sense of the word, so kind hearted, strong, witty, intelligent, someone I always considered my hero. Hearing the words "he's gone" were like daggers into my heart. I lost a part of my heart, a piece of my puzzle and a team member. I have been struggling to regain some sort of balance and sanity in my life thus far, but the emptiness in my home is so evident. I know that my family and I will have to create a new normal, but that will take time. I miss him dearly. 

All in all however, my life has been filled with amazing moments and terrible moments, just like everyone else, but I would never trade it for the world. I have such a full, incredible circle of people around me who fill my life with love and meaning. My mother and my sisters are my best friends in the whole entire world and I could never ask for anything better. The next few years will be vital, important and life altering years for me. They will be filled with change and positivity because thats what I will make of them.