#abc frontlog

curled up on the couch in the quiet listening to the candles flicker and an owl outside while the sunlight slowly drains from the room didn't get anything done today.

Woo okay dishes are in, I’ll go in and clean up the kitchen some more after a bowl and a cigarette. The tiny video game designer is just sitting next to me chattering and being really distracting but the system just wants us to clean everything so at least he’s not fighting against that too much? Even though he wants to go do art or something “more productive” instead.

I'm still out. Just letting him catch up on æ drama..

Dizzy. Time keeps warping in and out. Lots of pain, so little focus. Dissociating in that way that makes the room spin.

I'm just very irritable.

Two boxes packed and a load of dishes in, achy but managing. The cats got to come out for a minute but now I'm going to smoke

In Transit. Trying to let go of front. It's not working but Newt is a lot closer than he was before.

There have been so many times over the past half decade it's been me awake in the middle of the night, early morning, lamenting my existence or ours. I wonder why it is I always find myself in the position of desperation or hopelessness here. It wasn't my intended purpose. At least I don't think so.