#ab anon

tech bro anon

Hey cas, thanks for the anon name!

I haven’t written any fanfic yet (school has been rough) but it sounds like a good idea! I know (or am trying to believe) that it’ll feel better than AI generated slop but sometimes it’s hard to not use character ai anymore. It felt so comforting, and it was nice to just talk about really personal stuff with something I knew wasn’t real. I’m still kind of trying to find a solution that feels the same as character ai but doesn’t harm fandoms and creativity. I just miss being able to explore parts of myself and have like, a guide, or be comforted by my favorite character, or anything, you know? It felt so good at the time and I’m just going through withdrawals I guess?

If it isn’t too stressful or too much, could you remind me of the drawbacks? And the bad things about ai (specifically character AI)? I want to look it up but I’m really worried I might go back to character ai and ruin all the progress I was making in not being addicted to it anymore

Thanks so much! Have a good one!

—Tech bro anon

Hi!

So character AI specifically but also AI in general is 'taught' by things written by real people. So character AI is taught by fanfiction written by people. Without their consent. That's harmful to the community because it's theft, really.

Same with AI in general- it's 'taught' with information taken by real people, without their consent. Like it just takes things off the internet and teaches itself, which is taking intellectual property.

AI can be very biased and even completely wrong because of this which isn't good since people tend to believe it without question.

Also it's awful for the environment.

I hope you know you're welcome to vent here, I know it's not the same, but I'm here to listen. Also I don't want you to feel guilty. Like...yes, we need to not use AI. But also like...you're coping. You shouldn't feel ashamed of trying to cope. Working on finding a better coping mechanism is a great idea, but don't beat yourself up <3

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syllabus anon

Hey, this is syllabus anon😅 I seriously thought I messed up until I saw your message in my inbox only a few days ago, I'm so dumb, god🤣🤣 Yeah, that meeting went really well.

And now we are going to stay at my grandma's place for a few days for a family thing, and he'll be there. I have been debating whether or not to ask your advice for the past few days, but now something else's happened🫠I didn't text him much yesterday because my phone was being an a**hole and wouldn't load anything, so When I texted him today, it seems as if he's a bit sulky about it? Like, I asked him if something was wrong three times, and he said everything is okay when clearly it's not. And since we're supposed to meet today, I'm really worried. Because a few months ago, we did have an argument about me not having enough time for him because of my studies and all, and though we had come past that, even such a small thing is making me very anxious. I'm trying really hard to understand this from his side as well because, well , this is a first relationship for both of us, and I know I have to be considerate. I just hope it won't be awkward. What do you think?

I think the thing is, if you've asked him what's wrong and he won't say, you can't force him, you know? And maybe remind him of that. Be like "hey, I'm going to ask one more time-- it seems like you need to talk about something, but if you say you don't, I'm not going to push it again, because I'm not a mind reader, and I'm going to take you at your word." That's setting a boundary that you're not going to play those anxious games, you know? HE needs to communicate. And that's okay to say. You can be considerate and still set boundaries.

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ab anon

Hi!

I'm proud of you for stating your feelings, especially with what you ended up finding out. Remember to keep those boundaries and that it's ALWAYS okay to say no.

Sending love!

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binding anon

hi, i need a small advice about two things and i hoped you could help me with it (and people in the notes too if you want, that'd be lovely)!

so i’m trans (enby) and out to my close friends and family, and i’d like to buy something to bind, but i really don’t know shit about it. so first: i wondered if i should buy a binder, trans tape or anything else i’ve never heard of to start binding? i know i’ll bind a lot, so i’d like to find something that i can wear often and i can move around easily with, but i really don’t know what’s better for me 😅

and my second question is: how do i ask my parents to buy it? so for context, my family kinda ignores (on purpose) the fact that i’m non binary. for example, my mom tries to change some of her vocabulary sometimes but always tell me i’ll always be her little girl and that she doesn’t understand how it works, my dad doesn’t believe in non binaries, my older sister supports me but doesn’t try to change her vocabulary at all and my little brother doesn’t care and doesn’t change anything. so my family isn’t hateful of it, but not that supportive either and it’s kinda like a taboo, they’re all scared and awkward when it needs to be brang up yk. the thing is: i really fucking need to buy something to bind (i’ve been repressing it for two good years now, i can’t anymore)! so yeah, how do i ask? what do i say and how? like i really don’t know…

hope you have a good day, thanks in advance <3

Hi!

So I think it really depends on what works best for you. Tape works for multiple days, is disposable, and, as far as I know, tends to be better to exercise in. Binders can only be worn for around 8 hours, are washable/reusable, and not good for lots of physical activity. I'd suggest looking at the reviews for both and seeing what people liked and didn't like, and thinking about what you need, you know? Just remember, whatever you get, to make sure to wear it safely. Binding can be dangerous, especially for bodies that are still growing, so it's important to follow the recommended use.

As far as telling your parents...could you phrase it like, this is something you need to explore who you are? Do all the research first and come to them with a clear idea of what you want, how to use it, and how you plan on getting it. That way if they have questions, you have answers. Also remind them that neither of these things are permanent. It's just a way of expression, and you'd really appreciate their support in that.

Good luck!

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first kiss anon

hi Cas. I have been thinking about this a while now and I just am driving my self crazy. I'm 24 and haven't had a boyfriend/girlfriend. Haven't had my first kiss. Am I ugly? Idk? Will I ever find someone? Idk? I just feel I'm too old to date. I know I know I'm still very young my therapist tells me that but when I look around I don't find anyone my age they're all so young. Also I don't socialise or have any friends atm. It feles super lonely...sometimes I wake up and see there's 0 text messages. And that's been happening for 4 years now. I have tried to make friends but they always fall apart. I don't always feel lonely but sometimes I can be hard. I feel angry sometimes why hadn't I socialised in school more even though I was bullied. But idk there seems to be nothing I can do apart from rant to my therapist.

Hi!

Okay so making friends after leaving school is SO difficult and people don't talk about it enough. I imagine dating is the same. I genuinely don't think it's just you, I think it's just REALLY hard to meet people when like...as adults, all we do is work, eat, sleep, repeat.

Have you tried apps? Doing a hobby where you meet people? Volunteering at places where you meet people? I think the best way to meet people is doing something where you can meet someone who likes the same things, you know?

But yeah, it's not you. Meeting people as an adult is hard.

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hair anon

Hey! Hair anon here, how are you?

And Im pretty sure I sent an ask a little bit ago, but if you didn’t receive it don’t worry! It wasn’t that important, just me talking about possibly wanting top surgery, but not being sure, and also not being able to get it at all anyways, and on top of that my family most likely being furious if I ever decide to get it. I’ll probably deal with that when I’m older

I kinda figured out how I want my body to look and stuff and most days I’m fine with it. My thighs are a little feminine and stuff but it’s genetic (my dad has the thickest thighs and calves I have ever seen on anyone, and so I inherited a bit of that) but it’s not too bad! They’re very strong and I like them.

The biggest thing is my face and hair. I just really want long hair, so I can feel masculine and feminine, but my hair shrinks so much that it’s usually above my ears, despite being WELL pat shoulder length. I think im gonna do some intensive hair care over the summer. I’ll just deal with another awkward year of hair, and use a ton of oils and moisturizers on my hair so it’ll grow a ton. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to have my hair look like. I took some of ur advice from my first ask

Also, this summer will be the first summer I’ll be old enough to have a job! Some of my friends already have them but I’m trying not to compare myself to others rn. It doesn’t do much good for me. Do you have any advice on like, time management for a job? Is it scary? I’ve been looking at possible jobs for people my age but I haven’t found anything that I’m qualified for

Have a good one! You’re a rockstar,

Hi!

I'm so sorry, I didn't get that ask </3 but as far as surgery, remember that your body is YOUR decision. When you're in the position to make that decision, you should do what's best for you. Fuck what everyone else thinks. I'm glad you're starting to find some methods to help you feel comfortable in your body though!

As far as jobs...no, I remember my first job as being exciting because I finally had money, lol. I think my best advice is to start with less hours to make sure you can handle it, and then ask for more hours if/when you want more. Like, don't overwhelm yourself right away, ease into it. And also remember to balance work with everything else! A job is just a job, it's not your life!

Sending love!

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masking anon

Hiya Cas! Its masking anon once more, and I would usually write this in my journal but I need a bit of advice :(

And it’s about my friends and my masking

(And before you say anything, please PLEASE believe me when I say they’re good friends and good people)

I don’t feel very prioritized? Like, I always have to talk loudly and repeatedly to get any of them to listen to me. And occasionally they do but it’s always on their terms. They hug me first, they talk first, I keep having to ask them to explain what they’re taking about (like people from other schools and stuff), they always invite each other to things (like the gym, meeting kids from outside school, going to a concert) and it sucks.

I know I’m introverted and autistic and weird and wrong but it still hurts to be included enough to be considered a friend and know about everything that they’re not inviting me to. I love them so much. They don’t hurt me at all. They’re nice. But they all like each other to much better.

I think one of the reasons I don’t go out much with friends is because it’ll be with people. I already get anxious because I’m going outside, and that compounded with masking in front of my friends and parents, and trying to stop them from leaving me behind makes it seem not worth it.

I really do think they’re lovely. If they just knew how I felt then I’m sure it’d be better, but I don’t know how to have hard conversations with people like that :(

Sorry for blabbing in your inbox, have a wonderful day ✨<3✨

Hi!

I know you're not ready to talk to your friends about this yet (I think you should, eventually, because if they're as nice as you say, they'll make an effort to change how they act) but I want to make sure you know:

You are NOT weird or wrong. Your feelings and needs are JUST as valid as anyone else's. And you have a right to ask for what you need. It may not happen today or tomorrow or next week, but I really think you should ask for what you need, because you deserve to have that respected. <3

“an enchilada, the middle of nowhere, and a dress fit for a queen” - also supercorp, predictably (also i really love this oh wow ?? )

kara works as a waitress in a mexican restaurant in a sleepy corner of las vegas; lena’s the unfortunate rich CEO who stumbles inside in an attempt to hide from the cameras following her.

“are you, er,” kara has to pause, eyes darting from lena’s diamond-studded dress to the mascara dripping under her eyes, “lost?”

“hungover, but close,” lena replies, uncomfortably shifting the laminated menu from side to side.

it’s kara who lena comes to afterwards, asking if it’s possible for kara to help her get home. kara sheepishly admits she only gets around using public transportation, but offers to accompany lena every step of the way.

and lena, with no other options, agrees - kara gives lena her clothes and rides back in her work uniform on a bus that lena hates.

by the end of the day lena’s tired and grossed out but she is also very grateful - and asks kara if she’d like to have dinner sometime as a thank you.

it’s not like it’s a date, but kara wonders if they are, so just in case she shows up with flowers and dresses a bit nicer. alex tells her she’s out of her mind.

and dinner turns into exchanging numbers, into more dinners, into visiting each other’s houses and getting to know each other. kara tries to kiss lena once, and lena jerks back, startled, and asks what the hell she’s doing.

“are we not…dating?” kara asks, voice tapering off weakly. “well. this is awkward.”

“you want to date me?” lena looks at her like she’s crazy. “what for?”

“because i - like you?” kara says, questioningly. anxiety tears her nerves to shreds; with a sinking heart, she moves to go, so sure she’s ruined everything.

pictures anon

Hi!

Ugh this is so bittersweet. I'm glad she made you feel special but I know it still hurts. I'm sorry <3 if it's any consolation, I can;t see her putting in an effort to make you feel special if she didn't care at all.

Sending love!

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⭐️ anon

Hi!

Okay so I really want you to know that there is NO rush to have a relationship. Especially because of your past, please don't push yourself to do things just because your friends are. I promise, when you're ready and if you want it, those things will happen. But right now, it's okay to be unsure. It's actually VERY normal. A lot of people just force themselves to do things anyway, and end up hurt.

As far as liking reading MLM fanfic, please don't feel guilty. It's fiction, and you're allowed to like whatever fiction you want. No judgement. Fanfic is a great way to explore your liked and dislikes, and just get away from the real world. It's okay, I promise.

And about your weight. Hon, I weigh more than you (by a decent amount, mind you) and I am happily married to someone I consider far more attractive than me. I know weight feels like such an important thing right now, when classmates are obsessing over it, but there are plenty of people out there who are attracted to people of all shapes and sizes. I know right now that's difficult to believe, but I promise it's true.

I'm sending you so much love <3

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tempted anon

I am SO proud of you for talking to your therapist! Like...SO proud.

Yeah, sometimes therapists talk weird. They do that because they're trying to not create shame, and because they want you to have a plan if you feel that need. But it can come off as weird.

I'm so proud of you though, omg!

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midnights anon

Hi! It’s midnights anon once more,

Thank you for the encouragement, it’s helped a lot. My school is still putting me through the wringer, but it’ll be okay one day

I’m just stressed still. I have an essay due soon (the same one that was due on Monday) I’m nearly done and I just have to finish a few more sentences, but i know I’m not doing it today. I just want to rest, I just did karate and chores and am doing nothing but because I have something to do, I feel paralyzed. I can’t bring myself to do anything because my hearts beating too fast and I’m so tired and scared. I set an alarm to make myself do stuff soon (like dishes, Duolingo, etc.) but while I wait I want to paint but because I’m anxious I can’t bring myself to . I don’t know why I’m so scared! My essay’s fine, I can finish it in a day! I just need 2 quotes, and a conclusion! And my mom said she’d keep me company and help! Why am I so scared????

I feel like I’m scared of everything! I’m scared of how sad and beige and cold it feels outside! I’m scared of getting out of bed! I’m scared of putting on my records! I’m scared and I don’t know why

Thank you for reading, writing this down has already made my heart stop going a mile a minute

Have a lovely day <3

Hi!

Honestly, a lot of people experience that decision/work paralysis and it's SO frustrating. Have you tried breaking things onto smaller tasks? Maybe since you're scared of the tasks, if you break them up and check the parts off as you go, it will feel easier to do, and encouraging when you finish a part?

Also OMG congrats on the guitar! I got my first guitar in high school and it got me through a lot- I'm so excited for you!

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ab anon

hey, so that's a bit of a weird ask, but i really need help to understand human feelings…(that’s gonna be a very long ask, sorry)

Okay so basically there’s three people involved in this story: a boy, who is a very close friend of mine (let’s call him A), a person who I have a small crush on (let’s call them B) and me.

so i have a crush on B, but I really don’t know them well, we’ve barely ever talked, and they’re two years older than me (they’re 18). Most of my friends know it and I've stopped trying to hide it because I don't even think they know who I am, so it’s common knowledge for people around me. BUT these past weeks, some of my friends and I (including A) have been fake flirting A LOT (yk, like friends do) like every day, every hour every minute. We really do that as a joke between us, and we all know there’s zero feelings involved. 

But A and I have been getting closer because of that, becoming closer friends and all (which I never expected to happen since he’s a white cis straight man and I'm a white enby pansexual person). he started to open up to me more and more, and i became sort of a safe space for him. We kept flirting, even when I kinda stopped with the other ones, and it became our thing, to flirt and act like a couple all the time (like we hold hands, hug a lot, kiss on the cheek/forehead/nose and everything a fake couple would do). it became so so much that he asked me if that was still friendly or if i had feelings for him (when he knew that i have a crush on B) and i obviously said i didn't.

But the thing is: now, we say “i love you” all the time, we send each other these insta reels that you’re supposed to send to your s/o, we say we miss each other, and how the other is so pretty and shit like that? And I'm starting to question if he has feelings for me? i’m really not sure, but he’s the one who initiates most of the stuff we do (at least physical contact, for example: he’s the one who asks for me to kiss his cheeks every time we say goodbye) and i really thought it was just a joke but the line is starting to blur a lot, and I really don’t want him to fall for me, it would kinda be weird for our relationship (at least for him, i wouldn’t change my behavior), and i’m scared i might hurt him, because i talk a lot about B.

Yeah, sorry for the huge ask, you obviously don’t have to answer to the literall book i just wrote

Hi!

I would be VERY shocked if he didn't have feelings for you. It sounds like the lines have blurred a lot. I know flirting with friends is common, but if he's the one to always initiate, to move things further..yeah, it sounds like he has real feelings.

I know it sounds scary and horrible, but you need to tell him in a very clear way that you don't like him like that. As in "X, I need to make sure you understand that I don't have feelings for you. And if joking like this makes you think I do, we need to stop."

It sounds cruel, but acting like this for a lot longer is more hurtful in the long run, because then his hopes are high and he'll be even more upset later.