#aasin diary

i personally wasn't doing very well, and i know my psychiatrist got sick of seeing me (jk). new things and old laments, it was very hard to balance my life in a new city which I didn't like. neither did I know anyone here, and I had been living with my mom's family, and we don't really get along that well.

massive trigger warning, but I found myself going back to self harm patterns, and it took me a long time to seek help. i couldn't find it in myself to be active here, a place which had always been my safe haven.

nonetheless, I have been trying to raise money and boost gfms to help our brothers and sisters trapped in genocide. I have been trying to do more competitions, so that I can earn and donate. please don't let the current and continuing circumstances dishearten you. we all can help, no matter how little we think we are able to do. may the genocide end, and until then let us take active steps to facilitate it's end.

like here i can eat anything i want to, fast and feast if i feel like it. i can sleep anytime i want to. i can read books and get on a train and buy useless stuff and watch silly videos on my phone and still have time to spare. a person could be posting about losing everything and i have the freedom to scroll past their suffering. and it's so easy. it doesn't feel right at all. it shouldn't be this easy. you and i shouldn't be at such ease. it's wrong. very wrong.

it's fucking june and i am still reading about gazans being fed tylenol as treatment for an arm blown off by israeli munitions. children in sudan are being burned alive in to produce dubai's first 24-k gold note. encampents saying "free congo" when each of you stupid fucks have vapes.

i wish each of you is radicalized by what is and what has been happening around you. your actions are a dire need as much as your prayers. silence is for cowards and traitors. if you're silent even now, then you're not simply complicit. you're an active accomplice too.