#aaronglover

When I think of missing you, I'm reminded why I shouldn't/ Binded by all of things I couldn't, do, thinking of what I wouldn't do/ Then, blinded by reality, blotting out my dreams/ With steady schemes, once again, seeing the themes changed/ Going well beyond a screamed shame, seeing how they loose chains/ Just to tighten them anew, while they tighten them a noose/ Even when they let us loose, they set us up to lose/ Giving the illusion of choose, while they gerrymander the options/ Don't even ask me what's poppin, rage already got heart throbbing/ At a different speed, ironic, how it slows down my efforts/ But accelerated my rotting, maybe I should go back to robbing/ Because doing things right, doesn't result in anything left/ But avenue after avenue closed, even while I'm jotting/ Seeing that I can't stop it, hitting rock bottom/ And having to rebuild again, with even less to start on/ And less reason to do so, and no reason to use soul/ In a city that doesn't value it, in a society that remains valueless/ Where there's no one worth investing in, I can't bring my mind to a place within/ Where I could pretend, I know that I'm not meant to win/ I've left behind, all I felt I needed to with pen/ So this, is just me playing out the string, hoping the chords don't pop/ Because I can't replace the strings, and I can't make them care about the theories I've got/ Floating on a broken wing, and unanswered prayers/ As if my wishes, weren't worth shit, just not worth it/ Meant to be the one that aids others, even if I'm just their stepping stool/ If I would've died faster, that would've been cool/ Now the pain just amasses and it pools, watching how these masters control the moves/ So with all of that said, I can't seriously consider missing you/ #aaronglover #thingsmisterhustleusedtodo #lyricstogo #blackhistorymonthbars #28bars #part8 #writer #lyricist https://www.instagram.com/p/CobnMD6u6iq/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Ain't it funny, how this life strikes, why this zeitgeist/ The timing's never quite right, elucidation in my life/ Gets ignored, the silence rings off, quiet turns to fight night/ I'm stuck combatting my rage, been combative for days/ Ain't compatible with the bullshit games, but they still play/ And because I don't say, how I'm feeling, in the moment, it tends to foment/ All of these waves, I don't appreciate, watching how so much of my efforts, depreciate/ Wondering, am I supposed to appreciate, how they treat me different/ Without acknowledging, the ways, that I'm actually different/ It should be no surprise, due to this, I'm actually distant/ I respond, in ways, that don't get shouted, not for clout with this shit/ I've been a misfit, but never been in denial of this with/ Anyone, with whom I try to establish a relationship/ It makes me think, I wasn't meant to relate to shit/ Except my own reflection, and the broken bits/ I tried to put hope in this, but what's a quote, if it don't hit/ If it don't connect, is it worthy of respect, or should it receive neglect/ Should I try even faster, to speed to death?/ Society won't miss me, all the blows its stuck so far/ Always having to dig, being restricted, by how the pain struck those scars/ And continues to, don't even have to intimate how true flows are/ Because it strikes me in jolts, even if I don't a single soul/ I suppose I come off as cold, or the things I say, get taken as a joke/ Not allowed to be honest in communication, always told or shown, that I have to go/ And no one defends me, because they don't see me go/ To all of the places they used to know, my face to show/ Never realized integrity is conditional, I always thought that shit was critical/ But letting go of all of that, is not revisional, but medicinal/ #aaronglover #thingsmisterhustleusedtodo #blackhistorymonthbars #28bars #lyricist #writer #lyricstogo #part7 https://www.instagram.com/p/CobkIvssGWb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Gotta ask myself, what the fuck's so different, see the love's been missing/ Luck's been distant, so fuck the kidding, not here for jokes/ I can punch with more than lines, but I'm not here for quotes/ I would say I'm here for growth, but the things that grow, for me, leave me without hope/ Without scope, to see beyond the suffering, it never gets redeemed/ While the lights that gleam, blind all my schemes/ Can't even find peace in my dreams, what the fuck does that mean/ Can't even find the solution, the average is just that mean/ That it gets to be sickening, not even including the times I was sickened, see/ Always having to risk shit, I can't afford to lose, trying to be/ Greater than my reality, not accepting fate and finality/ Crushed by the totality, of having your life totaled, and still having to replace it/ Still having to repay it, mind absorbing hatred/ In the midst of distilling it, because access to me is so filtered/ Even when off kilter, I won't let others become the killer/ Of dreams or off my physical frame, what a shame/ That I choose to embrace the pain, because I can't escape the flame/ Partially of my own making, partially of society taking/ And taking, without a thought to give, like, who gives a shit/ Like, people never did for me, who's really missing it/ As hope dies, and embers rise, watching those enterprise/ Turn into enmity's rise, so much deeper than pride/ When every part of you, that wanted to part with feuds/ Gets abused, take kindness for weakness, silence for meekness/ And then violence, sirens, get viewed in iris/ As something that doesn't make sense, because the origin story wasn't worthy of open eyelids/ So why kid, when seeing how the symptoms affect you, that you care any deeper, than how the symptoms infect you/ That's the thing about a malignant society, it doesn't discriminate on how to be disrespectful/ #aaronglover #thingsmisterhustleusedtodo #blackhistorymonthbars #28bars #lyricstogo #writer #lyricist #part6 https://www.instagram.com/p/CoWUcAtsCOV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Or annoying pretension, because the reality gets lost for the way that the story's told/ Hating the way the story's sold, but believing it might make a difference to have a story told/ That isn't quite so cookie cutter, that has a bit more luggage/ Than their arms can carry on, makes it a little harder to carry on/ When you see no one like you, so it doesn't feel like it's worth carrying on/ When your tribe is yet to be determined, to the point of indeterminant/ And the search just keeps on burning skin, so you keep on with burning phlegm/ Burnished with hundreds of cuts, furnished in times of peace and sin/ Wondering what it was to win, learned to be a gracious loser/ Learned to stay away from users, ironic, on a computer screen/ Not thinking about what this music mean, more focused on what this musing means/ Did I use my mind enough, did I find peace, or did I obsess about the losing things?/ Losing rings, in my ears, in a way I can't turn off/ Supposed telling them about double digit concussions, is a relationship turnoff/ Can't even keep up with the number, had my first at the age of nine/ I was tougher than most, so I walked it off, guess everyone assumed I was fine/ Even before that, I was losing my mind, it was one of the least traumatic things to happen to me at nine/ I eventually found piece with it all, in time/ Learned how to refine, the thoughts in my mind/ Not being so scatterbrained all of the time, a bit more of a tamed lion/ Pained, I am, armed with the same trying/ To succeed against the odds, where the folks trying/ Those built like me, and raised like me, don't play fair, only viewed as ID/ Asking themselves, why me, when thinking back on the whole of we/ What is this, that we call, society, when the only time inequity is noted, is after rioting?/ At that point, it's too late, after ignoring all we'd state/ Or abhorring what we'd state, maybe they'll blame it on us being a weed state/ Less violent when taking those L's, but less people to place in those cells/ #aaronglover #thingsmisterhustleusedtodo #blackhistorymonthbars #28bars #lyricist #lyricstogo #writer #part5 https://www.instagram.com/p/CoRT2PZs7kN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Regardless, I'm fucked, but it's fun searching for motivation/ Easier to move fearless, when failure's always there, without a care/ For what you wanted to succeed, for how you tried to exceed, what they outlined for you/ And what you created outside of the lines, outlined in truth, more than simple vocation/ This is my life, less depiction than reality, just depicted for finality/ Just descriptive, with a need for decrypting, because I'm an oxymoron/ Direct, yet complicated, not matter how large or small the convocation/ So it complicates conversation, my mind starts to tune out, playing out all the expectations/ Seeing how their future actions, renders this basic, the operation/ Order's too predictable, that's why I prefer the complication/ Watching their bullshit, wondering, where's the condensation/ Mentally rolling my eyes, while showing a kind of patience/ Honed by spending hours in operation, been a patient in/ Too many rooms, yet the most pain I've felt came in visit rooms/ The ones where tears just couldn't escape, didn't feel like I was seeing straight/ Feeling the world spin, where it's an accomplishment, to maintain your feet/ Feeling the buckling in my brain, and in my knees, reflecting on what it means to need/ And how that goes deeper than most are willing to face, to me, that's fucking bravery/ The kind without a yay for me, pursuing a game I can't play for free/ Because what difference is ability, if it doesn't translate to the/ Public at large, why I'm often missing at large/ Missing a large, part of me, some living, most not/ Not quite a broke heart, just burnt, with some scars, some embers, some gray, folks afraid because it's toast hot/ Not knowing it's supposed to run hot, if it's supposed to run at all/ Not knowing my anxiety attacks, made it so hard to run at all/ Amplified by the last two years, why the fuck would I say happy new year/ My 30's hasn't had it, now, I'm mad and I've had it/ Up to here, with all of the things I see ascending, when the underpinnings are based in pretending/ #aaronglover #thingsmisterhustleusedtodo #28bars #blackhistorymonthbars #lyricist #part4 #writer #lyricstogo https://www.instagram.com/p/CoOqjM7sLju/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

My focus narrows when I'm incensed, looking at time spent/ Trying to find happiness, in a world that never wanted me to see it/ Never wanted me to seek it, notnot beseeched with/ Reasons why that should be different, been naturally a dissident/ With a distant end, and a distant pen, from those who get it in/ In creative incline, I rhyme like I'm out of time/ Not out of lines, though the living is borrowed, mind/ I should view it different, when I try to, all life does is remind/ Why I see it in that hue, traumatic rewinds, like all of this collapsing/ Is meant to be mine, minted to decline/ Like my aspirations, automatically receive, a, never mind/ Never mine, nothing to possess, but I shouldn't find/ Fault with that, reason to break, with everything attached to grind/ Because all that ensues, is torn sinews, and nerves stretched to a degree/ That never heals, always asking, why me?/ Eyes narrowing, they'll view like, why's he/ Look so mad at the world, fucked over enough times, to be mad at the world/ Without hyperbole, back to the older me/ The colder me, not expecting to be, older/ We, doesn't even come to mind, can't come to times/ They consider most important, because it's most inconvenient/ For me to do, looking at me, saying, I needed you/ Knowing damn well, if I read them truth, they'll just walk away/ I've seen it too many times, no need for me to talk away/ Going in one ear, or the other, that's what we call conversation waves/ I don't pass the vibe check, because I don't do the surface level waves/ Going to the deepest waters, with food for thought in hand/ Having myself a feast, in the storm, alone, just like I fucking planned/ #aaronglover #thingsmisterhustleusedtodo #blackhistorymonthbars #28bars #part3 #lyricist #writer #lyricstogo https://www.instagram.com/p/CoOlqegMUPk/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Continuing Black History Month. Ain't seen my shadow in awhile, just darkness in my reflection/ I expect some will come with objections, while others, will come at me with projection/ I don't care about perception, can't pierce when I chose self-ejection/ Used to choose self-rejection, lack of confidence in my direction/ Wandering to my mind's erection, hating what the world's erecting/ Hasn't changed for me, in the last few decades, not worth respecting/ Can't stand up to honest scrutiny or inspection, unscrupulous and effecting/ Damage, upon those who might have been normal, made manic/ Suppose it's their planning, to misdirect rage, not spanning/ Beyond narrow views, and how nature will choose, for us to feud/ With those we're closest to, it's why they thought segregation was the move/ It's why they'd hate, when we'd make upward moves/ Still addicted to cheap labor, that's unable to move/ Freely, always strikes me different, when folks shout, free he, free she/ And strikes me with a different pain, when viewed in the frame, of the lowest IQs, receiving the most abuse/ Treated like they're animals, for labor or entertainment views/ Easier to make them believe, that crime is the thing to do/ Deriving reality, from make-believe, abandoned at an early age by those who/ Were supposed to do the opposite, vilified by those who believe, the 13/52 narrative, that that's all that they do/ And what the fuck's the use, of doing right/ When all they see, is doing right, met by massive violence/ Or failure, heroes don't win in the end, so in the hood, all we get is violence/ And increasing of sin, guess we're out of stones to cast/ Watching folks who don't know us, bemoan the wrath/ Chickens came home to roost, yet again, but folks don't listen to the past/ Shot off of the mountaintop, for trying to bridge the gap, because how we're living was wack/ Watched the riots, only blamed the ones that were black, then pumped in heroin and crack/ A War on Drugs, they said of it, when it was really a war on blacks, this is what it crafts/ #aaronglover #thingsmisterhustleusedtodo #freestyle #28bars #blackhistorymonthbars #writer #lyricist #part2 #lyricstogo https://www.instagram.com/p/CoJiYlMMod7/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

This is how I'm kicking off Black History Month. Society never loved me, nor embraced my existence/ Sometimes I hate my persistence, hate that I'm gifted/ In the midst of the worst, making existing a curse/ Often treated as a cur, seeing ceding occur/ Can't be surprised at the separation, can't react to it, when focused on respiration/ Desperation, setting in, settling in, guess I'm used to the degradation/ And silence instead of defamation, not resorting to violence in lieu of explanations/ Can't really x the space in, between what we used to have, when I used to laugh/ Now they assume the wrath, that I imbued in past/ Now they view and pass, that's even if they view at all/ Now that I'm in absentia, I don't really exist to you at all/ I could include the et al., but it's not worth it to feud with all/ To get specific, it hurt my heart, watching the way you'd withdraw/ The bad part, is that applies to more than one, plurality turned into a loss/ Much less a split decision, than a rigged decision, aggravating my split incisions/ And the ones I've yet to have, part of the reason I've yet to ask/ Is that I found myself having to embrace pain, to mitigate damages from my past/ Always having to overcompensate, no wonder they see me as cracked/ Even my doctors ask for X-rays instead of MRIs, as my ligaments tear and my nerves die/ Wondering, why do I try, why do I cry, why do I ask why?/ I'm all out of finding the purpose, when none of this shit is working/ Feels like none of this is worth it, maybe this hurting, I deserve it/ Where doing things the right way, only showed how the wrong get ahead/ Makes me not want to get out of bed, or put a bullet in my head/ But I'd rather fight with own thoughts, then try to ignore them/ Even if I abhor them, both the thoughts and society, trying to find what's bright in me/ Gave up on trying to find what's right with we, can't even find what's right with me/ Taking so many L's, biggest one was believing in society/ #aaronglover #thingsmisterhustleusedtodo #freestyle #28bars #blackhistorymonthbars #writer #lyricist #part1 #lyricstogo https://www.instagram.com/p/CoJbqDmM1zp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=