Nov 11, 2025
I'm so fucking exhausted and burnt out and fed up. I don't want to do this any more I don't I don't I don't
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I'm so fucking exhausted and burnt out and fed up. I don't want to do this any more I don't I don't I don't
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I missed work again because of my depression. Fucking worthless, how am I going to make rent? Maybe I should just kill myself
One of the reasons I'm obsessed with you is because I think I could eventually be more honest with you than I've ever been with anyone before.
And yet the thought of being fully honest with you terrifies me. You won't love me, how could you? I'm sowing the seeds of our destruction before we even begin -- because I cannot stand the thought of total honesty. Because that means rejection. Disgust. Disappointment. Maybe you wouldn't hate me. But you'd recoil. And I don't think I could survive that. At least not right now.
There's something wrong with me, twisted. Several things, really. And I don't understand them.
Maybe I can tell my secrets to the dead. After all, dead women tell no tales and absolve no sins.
Ive always had trouble making friends, much less dating. It would help if I wasn't so fucking fat and ugly.
Or if. Ya know. I was dead.
Can I quit being a nuisance to literally everyone, please?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Someone fucking kill me
Someone murder me tonight
Someone better fucking kill me
Else I'll end my miser'ble life πππ
Probably gonna sh tonight because I gotta be at work in t minus three hours and I've never found a more effective coping mechanism for keeping myself "put together" when I'm this overwhelmed.
Gonna sleep a bit and hope that helps. Waking up is gonna be a bitch. So will work. 2 separate hour and a half long naps is all the sleep I've gotten since last night's shift.
And I have supervision at the end of my shift. Ik I'm low-key getting fired (being forced to resign)(bc I've been late every day for these past couple weeks of this depression episode)(but they'll fire me outright if I'm more than 10 minutes late again during this notice period).... but I still really don't want to cry in front of my supervisor.
I've gotten myself landed a psych eval before at a different job, and ik when I'm too emotional I tend to say the type of shit that might get me one. And that is the fucking LAST thing I need. Because they can't do jack fucking shit for me. I'm already doing all the things. And I'm not bad enough for hospitalization, and even if I was I can't afford it.
Anyway. Sleep time
I'm such a fucking loser lmao