#a rant ig

Thinking about when i tried committing this last october and my partner’s work wouldn’t let her leave to come see me, and how she got into the er the next morning for like 5 minutes before a mix up made it so she couldn’t see me anymore and I didn’t get to see her until eight days later when I was released from the psych hospital

And thinking about how I will not let that happen to Remus, that Janus is the one who found him and drove him to the hospital, that Janus stayed with him in the er until he was kicked out, and he was back bright and early the next day, and Janus visited twice for the week that Remus was in the psych hospital.

Thinking about how supportive my partner was and how all she wanted was for me to get better, for us to be happy, and thinking about Janus holding Remus’ hand and promising that he’s not breaking up w Janus bc he made a mistake, that his newly diagnosed bpd is not something that will rip them apart, that they are invincible and they will go through all the therapy and have all the long conversations they need to to flourish.

Thinking about Roman and Patton picking Remus up from the psych hospital, like real life, and staying with him until he fell asleep, then Janus gets home with a new squishmallow and fresh cut pineapple and it’s strange but i can’t remember what happened then.

I don’t remember reuniting w my partner after two days in the er and seven in the psych hospital. I don’t remember the door opening, or hugging her, or kissing her. I don’t remember saying hi.

Scenario A: reader is upset and angry with their partner - whether they’re right or wrong, the logical option for their partner is to healthily work out the issue; yes, this includes walking away sometimes, or talking it out. But with tons of smut the partner goes into dom space and then suddenly they’re having sex as if it’s going to fix their problems. It’s so unrealistic and honestly, while it’s more of a personal issue, I can’t wrap my head around using sex to work out a bump in the relationship.

Scenario B: one partner, usually the non-reader, becomes jealous over something so mundane it physically hurts to read. To blow off steam and, as some writers say, “claim what’s theirs,” the jealous one initiates a round or two of rough sex for ?? No reason ?? Yes it’s your writing and you’re not obligated to write a certain way for anyone else (trust me, as a writer, I get it) but seeing so many smuts about scenarios like this rub me the wrong way.