Pretending to not be the persecutor in front of people who hate me GET ME OUT OF HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Pretending to not be the persecutor in front of people who hate me GET ME OUT OF HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Does anyone know of good communities on Tumblr or Discord for plurality that are 100% anti sy.smed, preferably pro endo as well. Iām not endo or anything I just donāt like any form of gatekeeping. Sy.smeds have srsly given me a lot of self doubt and have scared me away from the plural community as a whole. But Iām having a really rough time trying to figure out sys stuff by myself and I think I would benefit from some support. And Iām also trying to learn to be more social in general
I need to unlearn my internalized ADHD ableism. Sadly, I faced a lot of it externally, so it stuck with me. I need to learn itās ok to use my limited energy on things I enjoy doing (when I can ofc, work + responsibilities come first for me). I need to learn that Iām not lazy for having low energy, or for being slower than others. I need to learn that giving 100% DOES mean Iām working hard, regardless of what my 100% is compared to my peers. I need to learn that my failures arenāt because I didnāt try hard enough, or that I didnāt put in enough effort. I need to learn so many things. I need to unlearn many others as well. Itās going to be hard, but I want to stop hating myself. I didnāt choose to have ADHD, or to feel chronically burnt-out for years, but I can choose to still value myself. Somehow. I donāt know how Iāll get there, but I want to work towards it. I will work towards it.
Iām jealous of Covid conscious people who donāt feel bothered by the stares and rude comments. I only really mask at my job and the customers are so mean about it, I donāt know why they care what I choose to wear. I have to mask, I catch sickness far more often than the average person, itās not like I just feel like it. Itās not like I enjoy having people take pictures of me and glare at me and leave reviews under my jobs page to complain about a strip of fabric on my face. Sometimes I just wanna say fuck it, and stop masking, but I donāt know if I could move on if I develop long covid from that decision
Alex Stardew they could never make me hate you

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I hate how skunks are only known for being kinda stinky bc theyāre actually beautiful animals :( look at her eat her apple
Worst part of being the persecutor + anger holder is knowing how much shit is my fault. Like, itās because of me that the whole is viewed by others as a mean and hateful person. Every time we had a friendship end on bad terms it was because of me. The others got to have that āoh Iām not a bad person, because itās not meā realization when we realized weāre plural, meanwhile I got confirmation that Iām not only a bad person, I literally exist to be a bad person. And like, fuck. I donāt know what I can do about it. I donāt know how I can reverse any of the damage Iāve done to us and our reputation
Actually insane how much my mental health improves on days I donāt work. I know nobody likes to work, but my current job is straight up extremely unhealthy for me. Iām going to start taking classes soon, really hoping I can switch to part time work then. If not I might just straight up quit to focus on education, it wonāt be fun to be unemployed but at least I would still have a goal to focus on