#@timeasylum

She stepped over the cracks in the drab concrete, application and resume in hand.  She printed it on plain white nondescript paper.  In the overcast sun, the faded gray streetlamps granted no light to the cramped shaded alley.  Disrepair and neglect crept to the storefront of the Tricky Treats candy store.

She thought, the Tricky Treats Candy Store?  When did that get there?

Her shoulders slumped.  She'd addressed her cover letter and filled out an application for the Torture Candy Sex Shop.  She'd passed the shop on several nights, spotted a Now Hiring sign, googled it, and found her way here.  A similar 'now hiring' sign hung between the brightly colored candy striped pillars of the flamboyant storefront.  In the window, a rainbow assortment of delights awaited purchase; colored spiral pops in purple and pink, orange caps atop magenta bottles, green candy canes, flowers of white icing atop violet petals dotted with tiny red berries their center, plus an oceanwave-like poof of cotton candies dyed blue and spun before a curtain of red Twizzlers all stood in stark contrast against the outside world full of ashen, cracked streets and the chipped, faded paints of the alley walls.  

A bit of her reflection in the glass showed a childlike happiness, a glitter in her eyes at the vision of sweets.  Upon seeing this reflection, she straightened her shoulders and pursed her lips as if to say Happy doesn't look right on me... Ugh, they'll probably force me to smile at this job.  She sighed to herself and entered the store to apply.  The job would not involve sales for the toys she loved, but she figured that at least if they hired her, she would not starve.

So she stepped across the threshold of flamboyancy and into the Tricky Treats Candy Shop, Home of the Trickster's Delight™.

Inside, pinatas of all sorts imaginable hung from the railing of the stairs to the loft, and along the loft railing as well.  A gilded sign and a red velvet rope across the stairs signified that the upstairs area was reserved for employees, only.  A large urn filled with decorated sticks advertized the various prices for the pinatas on display; the sticks were sold separately, and each stick did match a pinata above. Clear jars of candies assorted by color lined a rainbow wall.  A sickeningly pink frilly apron hung upon a coat rack near the door. Sunlight streamed in through the window and highlighted the stacks of Heart Shaped Boxes in various states of decorative gaudiness.  One heart shaped box laid open upon the workspace counter.

The workspace consisted of a reflective epoxy countertop which held an old-timey cash register and a large gumball machine, its globe filled with jawbreakers.  Behind this counter sat a workbench, above which sat shelves of mysterious gift-wrapped product.  An ornate four-tiered cascading chocolate fountain was anchored into the edge of the workbench.  Price tags cut in little squares in pastel colors, some underlined red to denote a sale, marked the shelf under each well-organized line of colorful products.  The products were eclectic in their design; A line of ceramic jars whose lids were replaced with white cloth were tied tight with red hemp.  Tubs and boxes were wrapped in colorful papers and tied tight with hemp or ribbon. Stacks of round, peach colored tins with gold etched in bevels joined gold boxes with red lacquered strawberries on the shelves.  White paper packages with lavender and sky blue labels sat on the shelves above a set of cabinet doors with brass handles.  The thin, babyfaced man behind the counter left this cabinet door ajar, which gave her a glimpse at the rolls of tissue paper and ribbon and wrapping supplies within.  The man snipped a bit of gaudy ribbon, neon orange with a magenta stripe down it's center.  He slipped the ribbon between his elegant pale thumb and the edge of his sharp silver scissors, and pulled.  The ribbon hissed as it slipped between the pad of this thumb and the bladed edge, and curled beautifully at the end of the scrape.  He wound this ribbon onto an equally gaudy heart shaped box before the tiny bell above the door jingled and caused him to look up at her.  She wondered why the bell failed to jingle when she first arrived.  Little did she know, he wondered the same thing.

“My apologies,” he said, “I didn't hear you come in, may I help you find something?”

“I'm... looking for a job if you know where I can find one of those,” she said.

“A jo- Oh, right, the hiring sign,” he said.

He sighed as if he wished someone else he knew would have applied for the job sooner.

“Well,” he said, “let me see your application.  You did bring one, yes?”

“Yes, but um, it was for, hey wait!” she said.

He plucked the papers out of her hand and read over them.  And as he read, his smirk grew.

“Okay dude, look, I was looking for this other place, google said it was right here, and here it isn't, but I still need a job, so-”

“I can't accept this application,” he said.

“Is it because it's for the other place?” she asked.

“What other place?” he asked.

“You know, the sex shop?” she said.

“Oh, no the sex shop is not a problem.  Why would the sex shop be a problem?” he asked.

“I mean, it's not a problem, that's the job I wanted,” she said.

“Hmm. Anyway, I'm afraid I can't accept an application without a name on it,” he said.

“Excuse me?” She said.

He turned the application around to reveal the fields for a first and last name were both blank.  The sight took her aback.  She knew she wrote her name on the application, it was the first thing she did after printing it out.

“Oh, well, I have a pen, may I have the application back and I'll scribble that information in,” she suggested.

“You know it's quite unprofessional, to give an application, resume, and cover letter, all without a name,” he chuckled.

“Quit messin' with me,” she said.

He turned around her resume and cover letter.  Where she had once printed her name in the header in large font capital letters, nothing had printed.  At the end of her cover letter, the last word was “Regards,” without a name written afterwards.  She wondered if she was dreaming, or if she'd had a seizure or stroke at an early age.

“You know, if you don't want them knowing your real name at the sex shop, you can use a fake name,” he suggested.

“Uh, I don't mind if they know my real name,” she said, “they kinda need that for tax purposes, right?”

“Not really.  Do you perhaps have a stripper name?”

“A what?”

“A stripper name.  A street name?  A … sex toy worker name?  Hell, even a tumblr username?” he asked.

“Why?”

“Because we have to put something on this application before you can turn it into the sex shop, and your real name just won't do,” he said, “So, what would you like to be called.... Miss?”

“Communication is usually my strong suit, I apologize, let me just think-”

“Miss Communication, it is, then,” Loki said.

He scribbled Miss Communication on her application.

“Uh...” she stammered.

“Mind if I call you Miss Cum, for short?” He asked.

She burst out laughing.

“Sure, that's fine, just put down whatever you think will land me the job,” she said.

She reached her hand out to him, with the intent of shaking hands.

“So Hi, I'm Miss Communication!  Apparently, I answer to Miss, or Come. What's your name?” she asked.

He took her hand and kissed her knuckles gently.

“Loki,” he said.

The magic bell tinkled frantically.  Loki looked past Miss' shoulder and squeezed her fingertips in excitement.

“And here comes our most important customer!” he whispered.

He dropped her hand, stood up straight, and brushed his hair back over his ears.  Miss turned, but saw no one in the shop.  

“Quick, hide yourself,” Loki said.

“Eh, what?” she said.  

Loki pulled her behind the counter and pressed for her to stay down.  A shadow passed over the door, and in walked a tall, broad shouldered man with long thick hair and ice blue eyes.  He greeted Loki with a thunderous voice.

“Hello again!” the man said!

“Ah, Thor! Welcome back!  How are you today?”

“I'm well!  Thank you for asking,” Thor said.

Miss peeked over the counter.  She lost the will to hide upon seeing the tan muscular man's broad smile.

“Holy shit,” she said as she popped up from behind the counter.

“Oh, hello!” Thor said.

Loki cleared his throat.

“Thor, this is Miss, Miss, Thor.  Miss, could you go run the IC inventory in the stockroom for me?” Loki said.

“Hi,” Miss said to Thor.

Under the counter, Loki pushed her away from them.

“Get lost, I have work to do,” Loki muttered.

“Uh huh,” Miss said.

Thor smiled, looked at his feet and scoffed to himself.  He looked back to the pair, locked eyes with Miss, and spoke eagerly.

“So I came by to pick up something special for my girlfriend,” he said.

Miss' jaw tightened in pained disappointment as Thor emphasized the word girlfriend, however, she retained her goofy grin.  Thor turned his attention onto Loki.

“And I just knew you'd have something amazing for me to give her,” Thor said.

“Well, I was just working on something amazing, but it's not quite done yet!” Loki said.

Loki waved his elegant hand over the gaudy heart-shaped box with the crazy magenta striped neon orange ribbon.

“Perfect! I have some time, is it a bother if I stay?  I love to watch you work,” Thor crooned.

“I vote stay,” Miss said.

Loki, blushing from the compliment, elbowed her.  He gave her a look that both silenced and comforted her.  His look was one part “you're in no trouble, but play along,” and one part “let me handle this, I've got a plan.”

“Of course it's no bother!” Loki said to Thor.

To Miss, he whispered, “keep quiet or you're fired before you even fill out the w-4.”

Loki cleared his throat and returned to work.

“Trainees,” he scoffed, “am I right?”

Loki curled another ribbon for the gaudy heart-shaped box.  He selected a cardboard insert for the box and lined it with an azure tissue paper. He side-eyed Miss as he took a gold tin with enamel cherries inlaid from the freezer.  Miss looked at Thor.  Thor beamed, concentrated on everything Loki did.  Miss turned her attention to Loki.  He removed a small red fruit, a cherry.  The neglected cherry pitter rested on a hook on a pegboard near the fountain.  He dipped the cherry, pit and all, into the fountain by the stem, and sat it upon a tiny circle of pinkish paper.  After repeating this process six more times, he reached for a shaker full of sprinkles.  Miss watched as his hand glided past the sprinkles and to what appeared to be a shaker of crushed red pepper.  He shook out an even coating of the pepper, then reached for a pippete bag, filled with a hot pink icing.  He wound the stem in spiral of this icing and wrapped these six up.  He transferred them to six out of the thirteen divots in the cardboard spacer.  He then prepared to make six more, but as Miss squinted, she noticed that whatever fruit he pulled did not look like a ripe cherry.  This fruit looked wrinkled.  As he pulled the next one, she spotted it clearly; these were carolina reapers.

Miss's eyes widened and she looked at Thor to see if he noticed.  He had the exact same studious, unchanged beaming smile on his face as when Loki first began his work.  Reapers dipped, iced, and wrapped up, six more filled the divots.  Loki pulled a special clear plastic container from the stainless steel refrigerator.  Inside, a piece that looked like an ornate corsage shone through with pearlescent violet petals and dewdrops crafted with boiled sugar glaze.  Loki uncovered the artisenal confection, scooped it into the center of the heart-shaped box.  Thor beamed.

“Beautiful,” Thor said.

“Thank you for the compliment, I am glad you enjoy it!” Loki said.

He closed up the box and sealed it with the gaudy neon ribbon.  Thor took out his wallet, handed Loki some bills, received his change and left with a polite wave to Miss.  She watched his sculpted ass as he left.  As the magic bell tinkled to denote his exit, Miss turned to Loki with her hand in the air.

“Fuck the hell yes!  Way to get my back with that mystery girlfriend, you are awesome!” she said.

“Your back?  I've been poisoning this mystery bitch for months, believe me, Miss, I am doing this all for myself,” he said.

“Wait, for clarity, you gay is good, you poisoning people is bad,” she said.

“Oh please, I never send her anything I wouldn't let him eat on accident. So no, it won't kill her, not that I haven't thought about it, but I want it to make her wish she was dead,” Loki said, “so at this point I've hit her with the hottest, foulest, nastiest flavoring I can find and she still won't fucking break up with him.”  

He slumped hopelessly against the counter and looked toward the door with longing.

“He must be absolutely incredible in the sack,” he said.

“Have you tried sending him back with, like, normal shit?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Like, normal, delicious chocolates, in a pretty box with a nice note,” she said.

“Why would I do that?” He asked.

“Because, I mean, he keeps bringing her what you send, doesn't that kinda mean she likes it?”

Loki sighed.

“You might be right.  He's a kinky bitch, I know that,” Loki said, “it's very possible she likes the suffering.”

“How do you know he's kinky?” Miss asked.

“Work here for a couple of weeks,” Loki said, “you'll understand real quick.”

“So, does that mean I got the job?” Miss asked.

“Can you start tonight?” Loki asked.

“Uh, I mean, I'm here, so, sure, I guess?” Miss asked.

“Then you're hired,” Loki said, “go put on that apron.”

She looked to the coat rack by the door, upon which the sickeningly pink frilly apron hung.  She looked back to his uniform, a striped shirt and black slacks and tie.

“I don't have to wear one if you don't,” she said.

“You're no fun,” he said.

“Look, if I'm really working here tonight, you should probably show me what I'm supposed to be doing,” she said. “Oh, you're working,” Loki said, “I was just about to take down the Now Hiring sign and lock up for the night.”

“Wait, if I'm working tonight, and you're locking up now, what am I supposed to do?”

“Training,” he said cryptically.

He walked out the door and tugged on the Now Hiring sign.  He turned the hanging Open signboard to Closed on his way back inside.  The neon open signs shut themselves off, and velvet curtains of deep violet descended over the windows to hide the treats within.

“Miss? I'll need you to stand over here, please,” Loki said.  

He gently held her by the wrist and guided her away from the workspace. The business cards on the cash register each jumped into the air and flipped, one by one.  Before the jump, each white card read “Tricky Treats Candy Shop, Home of the Trickster's Delight™!” in candyapple red ink.  After the flip, the black backside of each card contained candyapple red lettering which read “Torture Candy Sex Shop” and in much smaller letters below, “(Also the Home of the Trickster's Delight™)”.

“What the theoretical fuck,” she muttered.

“Oh dear, I'm afraid I'm not accustomed to having others in the shop for the transition,” he said, “please pardon me.”

Loki pulled her against his chest just as a squadron of sexy mannequins pranced past with boxes of gear.  She yelped as their chests collided.  He slid his hand to the small of her back and took her other hand in his.  He pushed his right toe between her feet, then kicked it out to step to the right, pushing her foot to the right in the process, causing her to step to the right along with him.

“Terribly sorry, try to keep the tip of your toes pointed towards mine, and if I push, you step back,” he said as he pushed her.

She stepped back.  A mannequin bolted behind Loki, hauling the hot, still cascading chocolate fountain.

“And if I pull you, you step forward,” he instructed.

His right foot stepped backward, so she stepped forward with her left, kept the toes of her left shoe pressed against the toe of his right. He pulled her, she stepped forward as he stepped back.  She collided against him as he stopped abruptly.  Mannequins shot by them on every side, and when he pushed her forward again his legs spread to take impossibly long steps.  She strained and reached backwards with her heels in an attempt to keep up with his wide gait.  The inner seams of their pants crossed paths and built friction between their legs as they waltzed among the chaos.  He pressed his back against the back of a bent mannequin, which lifted and swiveled to its left.  Loki swiveled to his left, kept their backsides together, and Miss twirled to the right to compensate.  The mannequin walked away and Loki swiveled again.  When Miss twirled herself into place, she felt her rump brush against the edge of the counter.

“Up,” he said.

He lifted on her waist, and she bounced up to sit on the counter.  He jumped up and straddled her lap with his knees on the countertop as a mannequin ran a swiffer broom beneath them.  She looked at him with a face full of uncertainty at the correctness of their intimate proximity.  Loki smirked.  His eyebrows darted up for a instant, as he pulled away from her face and pressed against her breastbone.

“Down,” he said.

He pushed her, and her back hit flat against the countertop, as he himself hopped down and ducked below the counter until his head sunk between her open thighs.  She could not see this, as her head hung free over the opposite edge of the counter. When she looked to the ceiling, just overhead, a metal bar containing many hangers full of lingerie swished over her.  She sat up to find Loki's smirking face still between her legs.  She pointed her finger right to the cute bridge of his pale nose.

“Not unpleasant, but not okay,” she said.

“I do hope you'll pardon the mess,” he replied, “things get a bit different in here come sundown, nothing looks the same after dark here.  Not even me.”

A lollipop tree swept over his head, over her lap, and her finger caught a clear red pop.  She caught it as it fell from the tree, before it could bonk Loki on the head.  She looked down at him.  His baby face appeared to age.  The smooth, porcelain skin grew a touch more loose and porous.  Parentheses like creases pressed themselves into the edges of his muzzle, crows feet imprinted at the corners of his intense eyes.  The kiss of age rendered him no less attractive, only different.  Miss lifted the gemlike red candy.

“Can I have this,” she asked.

He stood up, put his hands around her waist and drew her from the countertop.  He took the lollipop from her and flung her towards the entrance door, but kept hold of her hand as a line of mannequins ducked down and shuffled between them under their arms.  He lifted their hands and spun back into her arms.  While he spun, he dropped the lollipop back into a second mobile lollipop tree and withdrew a different, teddy bear shaped pop.  He unwrapped it and presented it to her.

“How about this one,” he said, “it's safer!”

“Sure,” she said.

She bit the head of the lollipop and closed her lips around its round waist.  A mannequin barreled toward the two of them.  Loki, wide eyed, silently asked for a little push.  Miss pushed him forward as she pushed herself back out of its path.  Her heel caught some unseen obstacle as she stepped back.  Loki wheeled to face her, grabbed her palm as she fell, yanked her towards him, spun her back into his arms.  She looked up at him wide eyed, and sucked down the cherry flavor from her teddy bear lolly.  The magic bell tinkled out an alarm.  The mannequin squad jumped, scrambled to their final positions.  Outside the last rays of sun disappeared behind the mountains.  The candies that were left on the shelves transformed into various adult novelties and sexy sundries.  The assorted candies in the stacked glass bowls became individually wrapped specialty condoms, energy pills, and single use lubricant packets.  Packets of Fruit Stripe Gum unwrapped themselves and reformed into striped edible underwear, as displayed on one previously nude mannequin. Packets of twizzlers unwound and tied themselves in intricate Japanese knots around a rope-bondage mannequin.  The long, twisted spiral lollies in the vase turned into pyrex wands.  Miss' wide eyed expression turned to one of concerned confusion as her teddy bear melted in her mouth to take the form of a small cherry red anal plug. As she continued to suck on this new-found pacifier, it provided the same cherry flavor.

“That one does look cute in you,” he said.

He stretched out a long, elegant finger and pressed the button on the butt of the plug.  It wobbled, then the edges of Miss' lips blurred as the vibrator whirred.  She pushed the button and it pulsed rapidly, pushed once more and it switched off.  She pulled the plug from her lips with a slurp and stared at it in suspicion.  Loki smirked at her, and each new wrinkle the sunset brought with it displayed itself upon his face.

“You seem shocked at the change,” Loki said.

“I'm just surprised that it's still cherry flavored, considering, y'know, where it usually goes,” she said.

She popped the plug back in her mouth and continued to suck on it.  Loki chuckled.

“You're going to have a lot to learn from my clientele, I can already tell.”

-------  #KristenMackWriter#@debellatis#@teck#@kingloptr#@ruleroftheworl#@adamcansuckme#@lady-loki-laufey#@godly-butt-touching#@toomanylokifeels#@timeasylum#@hailvady#@mangajuicexd#@sparkleslordofthunder

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(Click here for Part 1) “Don't I have to sign anything before I'm technically employed?” Miss asked.

Loki scratched his pointed chin.

“Ah, yes, you're right,” he said.

“And if we're working around food, I expect a big-ass stack of all the food safety laws and health codes you just broke,” she said.

“Fine,” sighed Loki, “it's this way to the office.”

He unhooked the red rope and gestured her upstairs.  The sign had changed from “Employees only” to “Club Members, 21 and Over Only.”

At the top of the stairs, a path led to the loft, and one path down a hall.  A set of steel elevator doors greeted her at the end of the hall. “Why didn't we just take the elevator upstairs?  Wait, I didn't see an elevator downstairs,” she said.

Loki pushed the candyapple red button and the steel doors slid open with a happy ding.  They stepped inside.  A row of buttons inside the elevator each had a corresponding label that read “Roof. Clubhouse.  Office.  Shop.  Janitor.  Storage.  Garage.  Cellar. Basement.”  Loki pressed the button for the Office.  The doors in the back of the elevator opened to a small room with a desk and filing cabinet.  He took a heavy stack of paperwork out of the filing cabinet.

“Here, take this back downstairs and fill it out.  I'll be back down in  a few hours,” he said.

“A few hours?” she questioned.

“The shop is closed from 5-9 daily,” he said, “you won't be bothered. Oh, and don't bother me; I need to do product testing and change clothes before we re-open.”

“So, I'm stuck here reading and signing things until 9?” she said.

“You'll get paid for it.  Restroom is under the stairs.  Pens are by the register,” he said.

“Got it,” she said.

She returned to the candy counter, now covered in sex toys and adult novelties.  The gumball machine was filled with benwa balls.  The Kinder Eggs were egg-shaped vibrators, the Cadbury Creme eggs were Tenga eggs, except for one carton that remained as Cadbury Creme eggs.  She shrugged at the inconsistency and took a pen from the register.  She took a seat on a candyapple red cushioned stainless steel stool and started to read through the employment agreement. Her eyes kept wandering to the products around her.  Her distracted eyes explored the changes in the shop between pages.  She chuckled at the fact that bags of gummy bears turned into bags of gummy dicks. The sign read “Tell them to eat a bag of dicks!  $2.99 plus tax.” The Fruit Stripe Gum to edible underwear impressed her.  She took a peek inside the drink cooler, and spotted Josta in a glass bottle. She immediately swung the candy-apple-red ceramic edged glass front fridge door open and grabbed the bottle.  She twisted the top of the bottle fruitlessly; the old Josta came in plastic bottles with twist-caps.  This beverage required more force to free it from it's glass prison.  She looked around for a bottle opener in a panic.

“Eck? Eck?” a squeaking sound asked her.

She turned to see a mannequin hand pointed toward the side of the candyapple red drink cooler.  The squeaking sound came from the mannequin's head as she nodded.

“Eck eeeegk eck,” the mannequin said.

Miss looked to where she pointed.  On the side of the refrigerator hung a dong shaped bottle opener.  She snatched it by the shaft with a deathgrip and popped the top of the bottle.  The tink sound of the bottlecap against the floor cut through the hiss of carbonation.  She brought the bottle to her nose- the miniscule spritzes of popped bubbles tickled her nose as she sniffed the bottle.  She took a small, investigative sip, then chugged half the bottle.  Her lips left the bottle reluctantly and she sighed.

“Where in the fuck did he get this?” Miss asked the mannequin.

The mannequin shrugged.  Miss took her drink back to the counter and continued to read through the terms and conditions, signing her name or writing her initials in the blanks provided on page after page of arbitraments.  The twilight from the loft windows dimmed.  Miss' face crept closer and closer to the documentation as the light dissipated. She blinked, looked around.  The shop had grown dark while she concentrated on the printed pages.  The streetlamps outside flicked to light in their orange glow.  Even in muted colors of low light, the pinks and purples and brightest blues of the products still showed.  Miss lit up her cellphone and looked around for a lightswitch.

“There's gotta be a light in here somewhere,” she said.  

Miss lit up her cellphone and looked around for a lightswitch.

“Hey guys,” she asked the mannequins, “do you know how to turn on the lights?  Or maybe just a lamp?”

At the mention of the word lamp, the mannequins looked away from her and froze in place.

“Oh, come on guys, just a little light,” Miss said.

“Eck-eck-eck-ek-kekekek!”

The mannequin Miss looked at shook her head rapidly.  Miss caught one staring at a standing lamp.  Once caught, the mannequin straightened and stilled as though there were nothing to look at in her area. Miss went to the lamp and found the double-cherry ornament on the end of the chain to turn it on.  The mannequins all squeaked, shook their heads, put their hands up in a stop motion.

“Well if you don't want me to touch this one, tell me where the light switch is!” Miss said.

“Eck! Egg eck, ekekekek!” they said.

They pressed their palms together and shook their heads, pleading with Miss for her mercy, and to not touch the lamp.  Miss sighed.

“I have to finish that paperwork,” she said.

She pulled on the cherries.  The chain clicked, and a burst of red light poured from the cherry shade, faded to pink, then to white as the bulb heated.  An acrid smell and puff of smoke lifted from the lamp. Miss held her hands up to the lampshade.

“No no, no, no fire,” Miss said, “I'll do whatever you want, just, don't burn anything down, k?”

Almost as if in response, the light warmed to a yellow tint.  The smoke smell faded.

“Whew! Don't scare me like that,” she said.

She returned to her paperwork.

“Ah, that's better.  See guys, it wasn't that bad!  Guys?” Miss said.

The mannequins did not respond.  At that moment they seemed more like genuine inanimate mannequins that at any other time she had known them.  

“Okay, silent treatment, maybe I deserved that, I didn't know the lamp would smoke so much, I'm sorry,” she said.

She returned her focus to the papers.  On one of the last pages, the fine print mentioned the lamp, and to never ever light it.  

“Uh-oh,” she said.

She sucked her lips into her mouth and turned the page with raised eyebrows without signing the page.  She absentmindedly popped the cherry flavored plug back in her mouth and worked through the rest. Behind her, the bell tinked twice and went silent.  She turned to look.  The bell hung upside down, it's clacker suspended in air. Miss stared at the clacker in it's strange position and a shudder ran down her spine.  She realized that if someone opened the door, it would fall and ring, she just hadn't expected it to look so stuck. She turned her back to the door and signed the next page.  The closed sign silently turned to open.  The door opened, and a lady entered the shop.  The bell struggled against the antigravity enchantment. The lady approached the counter.  The bell broke free and jingled with unrestrained fury.  Miss startled, jumped, turned, pulled her pepper spray.

“Oh dear, don't set that off, you'll ruin the product,” the lady crooned.

She wore huge red sphere earrings, a matching red gem at her neck on a collar of white lace, and a frilly carnation colored apron over a lascivious hot pink dress.  She wore her blonde hair coiled in an updo and pinned with a pronounced headband made to look like a lace tiara.  She painted her hot pink lips with a roll-on gloss.  Her eyelids came pre-painted in a shade that felt too, too blue.  Miss held the canister with purpose and a glare that said she would not hesitate to melt this lady's false lashes right into her eyeballs with the spray, product replacement be damned.

“Lady, we're closed!” Miss said.

“We? Oh ho ho, you must be a new hire, because That's not what the sign says,” she said, “and besides that, the light is on!”

The lady waved to indicate the forbidden floor lamp.

“I suppose you're gonna wanna speak to my manager?  Tough shit, I don't have one, and I don't work here” she said.

“Really? Then you won't be able to take my order for three hundred boxes of chocolate covered cherries?”

“No, I won't,” Miss said, “but I'll take your name and leave a note if it'll get you to leave me the hell alone.” “You're a spunky one.  Call me Highness,” she said.

“I'm assuming Highness isn't your real name,” Miss concluded.

“You would assume correctly!  Nobody uses their real name in here,” Highness said, “And you are, miss?”

“Miss will do just fine,” said Miss.

“Yes, Miss, you will do just fine,” Highness said.

Highness approached the counter.  Miss hopped off the stool and backed away, canister still aimed at the ridiculous blue eyeshadow.  Highness took two of the Cadbury Creme eggs which had not changed form with the others.  She twirled her fingers, manipulating the two chocolate eggs around each other in the palm of her hand.  She kissed them both suggestively and offered one to Miss.

“Here,” she said, “to commemorate your new position within the company.  My gift, to you!”

“Don't need it,” she said, “just need you to leave.”

“Just accept my hospitality, and I'll go,” Highness said, “and I won't mention anything about the little incident with the lamp.”

“Fine. Leave it on the counter and step back,” Miss said.

Highness did so.  Miss took the egg with suspicion.  Highness lifted the other egg and tinked her egg together with the one Miss held as if to toast.  Highness unwrapped her egg and sucked it until the yolk showed.  Miss followed suit, held eye contact with the strange woman as she sucked the whole egg into her mouth and crushed it with her tongue.  Miss reveled in the sensation and flavors as the crème oozed through the cracks in the chocolate shell and melted against her tongue.  Miss swirled the melting mixture with her tongue and swallowed.  Highness chuckled, and finished the rest of her egg in one bite.  She withdrew a pink envelope from her frilly carnation purse.  Cherry colored wax sealed the envelope with a double cherry mark imprint, and cherry colored lace decorated the exterior.  She flicked the envelope toward Miss, who made no effort to catch or dodge the projectile.  The envelope bonked against her and fell to the ground.

“Do give that to Loki when you see them, it should more than cover the cost of the sweets on the list that I've ordered,” Highness said.

“Them? Are... we unsure of Loki's gender?” Miss asked.

“Oh we're certain of their genders,” Highness said, “it is their quantity that brings us the confusion.  I must run now.  Ta-ta!”

She swept herself out the door.  The magic bell jingled furiously, as if it screamed at her to leave.  The door pushed itself shut after her. The door slammed itself so hard that the swinging sign switched itself from “come in!” to “back in one hour.”  The mannequins relaxed, but stared at Miss in concern.  She sighed, set the safety on the pepper spray and pocketed it as she bent to retrieve the envelope.  Miss flicked the pink envelope in her hand.  Her instincts told her that the door didn't lock itself and change the sign for no damn reason.  

“That egg was good, though,” she muttered.

She left the pink envelope by the register, picked up her completed paperwork and went upstairs to the elevator door to nowhere.  She pushed the red button, and stepped inside.  She pressed the button beside the label that read “Office.”  The elevator dinged without moving, and the back elevator doors slid open.  Behind her, she heard a mechanical pulse and rhythmic squeak.  She turned to see Loki, shirtless, flushed, panting, knees on the ground and elbows on the wood of the desk, his ass and legs dressed in wine colored lace and garters.  He flinched rhythmically with the sound of whatever machination sucked him and hid his cock from view.  He looked back at Miss over his shoulder without much reaction.  He turned his face down toward the machine, twisted his hips to hide the action from her, sank himself deep into the machine, and held it with both hands to steady himself so he could switch it off.  He stayed frozen in this compromised position, caught his breath.  Miss said nothing, and stood in unprocessable silence for a long moment.

“Did... Do you... Did you... Did you?” Loki asked.

“D-did I what?” Miss asked.

“Want or intend to witness this?” he asked.

“I'm okay,” she said, “I didn't mean to, I mean, your privacy, I'm sorry.” “You have no need to apologize, this office isn't exactly private,” he said, “but I need to know if it was your wish to stay and watch when you've lingered this long.”

“Oh, well, I don't mind, I mean, as long as that's what you're into... but I don't wanna be here if you don't want me to be,” she said.

He lifted his head to look at her.

“I feel the same,” he said, “was there a reason you came here, something urgent?”

“Well, kinda, but it can wait until you're finished,” she said.

She took a half step back into the elevator.

“Wait,” he said.

She paused.

“I want you to be here, if you wish it.  Don't go,” he said.

“Okay,” she said.

His eyes flitted up and down as he studied her.  He locked eyes on her face.  His nose dipped down, his eyes took a short tour of her body. He looked in her eyes one last time before he turned his attention back to the machine.  He huffed as he turned it on.  His lithe muscles tensed.  The elevator beeped at Miss in annoyance.  Miss took a step forward into the office and sat on the floor, covered her mouth with the stack of paperwork as she watched him flinch.  He took quick peeks at her to see if she continued to watch him.  He swooned every time his eyes caught her intense stare.  His skin glistened as he broke a sweat.  At random, the machine switched it's rhythm to a stronger triple beat.

“Whew! Ah, a-hah!  Hah, I did not expect- Ah!” Loki stammered.

“It did that on it's own?” Miss asked.

“Yes, it... Oh, Miss?  Miss, I'm going to come,” he warned.

He turned his face from her with widened eyes.  She held her papers tighter.  She scooted to better see his face, even as she kept her distance.  His jaw dropped, and his lips made a pleasing circle.  He spasmed and jerked with barely a sound, but the slight hiss and soft noises from his throat electrified her.  He turned the machine off with a shaking thumb.  The machine powered down and released him.  He lowered himself to the ground and tucked his cock back inside the lace as best he could.

“That was hot,” Miss whispered.

“I'm glad you think so,” Loki said, “so what brought you up here?”

“Well, uhm,” Miss stammered.

“Come now, your name is Communication, you can do this,” Loki encouraged.

“A lady was just in here asking for chocolate cherries and I have no idea how she got in,” Miss blurted.

Loki swallowed.  He grabbed his black slacks and slipped them on.  Socks, shoes, tight black dress shirt, black belt, all on and straightened. He ran downstairs.

“Did the lamp turn itself on?” Loki asked.

The mannequins shook their heads, some clung to each other.

“Alright, spill it, who did it?” he asked them.  

They flinched, but would not snitch.  

“What happens when that light is on?” Miss asked.

“Damn thing is part of a contract with... what's this?” he asked.

He picked up the envelope.

“She left that, said there was enough money in it to cover her purchase,” Miss said.

Loki opened the envelope and read the candy order.  It was a tall order for two hundred chocolate covered cherries and an invitation to a wedding.  Several hundred dollars in large bills accompanied the card. “Whose wedding?” Miss asked.

“Mine, she thinks,” Loki scoffed.

Loki tried to rip up the card.  The ripped edges caught fire and fused together.  His hackles raised, his hair grew into a mess that stuck out on end in weird places.  He tore and ripped and tore it again and again.  The firelight flicked across his menacing visage to the music of the fire alarm's deafening shriek.

“Shut the hell up!” he called to the fire alarm.

The last shrill shriek of the fire alarm fell flat as it silenced.  He slammed the letter, envelope, money and all, on the epoxy counter and dumped a tub of salt on top of it.  He pressed his palm into the salt and rubbed.  The abrasive salt scraped bits of paper fuzz from the envelope.  Sparks flicked from between the salt around his seemingly fireproof palm.  Over time, he ground the entire letter away.  He turned to the mannequins in anger.

“Now to figure which of you traitors turned on the lamp,” Loki said, “I'd rather not have to melt the whole lot of you so fess up, go turn the lamp off, and I'll let you walk away.”

The mannequins stood defiantly or clung together behind the defiant ones, depending upon their personalities.  Miss huffed and walked to the lamp.  She held her hand out and clasped the cherry ornament on the end of the chain.

“It was me,” she said, “I turned on the stupid lamp.”

Loki turned to her.  He held his hands out to his sides, faced the ceiling with a growl, rolled his eyes, and dropped his hands to the sides of his legs with a slap.

“Didn't you read in the contract not to turn on the lamp?  Like ever?” Loki said.

“Let me ask, can you read the contract like this?” Miss said.

She clicked off the lamp.  The pair stood in the darkness of night.  Loki paused.

“Oh, right.  This is why I don't hire in winter.  I knew there was a reason.  Anyway as long as she didn't purchase and leave with any merchandise, we should be fine.”

The lamp switched itself on and the letter reformed itself in flame above the salt.

“Son of a fuck,” Loki muttered under his breath, “what did she buy?”

“She ordered the boxes of cherries and took two Cadburry Creme Eggs,” Miss said.

“Hah, we don't have any of those, they turn into... what are those doing out?” Loki asked.

He picked up the carton of Cadburry Creme Eggs and studied them.  His face opened in shock.

“Oh no, Oh no!” he said.

“What?” Miss asked.

“No, they're expired!  We can't sell these!  No, no no, just, ugh,” whined Loki.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped.

“They're ruined,” he said.

He tossed one to a mannequin.  The mannequin held the egg up, shrugged it's shoulders, tilted it's head.

“Eh, eck?” it asked.

He tossed eggs to each of the mannequins, spoke as he distributed them.

“Yes, egg.  You all deserve a treat for not snitching on Miss Communication over here.  That was very brave of you all, and I'm sorry I yelled at you.” Loki said.

“Eck? Eck!  Mmmmm... Eck.  Mek!  MMM-Egg!  Egg!  Egg egg!  Meg egg.  Eck Meg.  Mmmmmeg!”

“Why would you think they'd turn it on?” Miss asked.

“The woman you met, Highness... she's the queen of fake women.  She's made of plastic, same as them,” Loki said.

“Yeah, but... our mannequins are awesome, and she's, like, totally not,” Miss said.

“That's because she's-”

“Fake,” Miss completed his sentence.

“Yes,” Loki said.

“And these guys?  They're genuine.  I like them,” Miss said.

“That's good, because you'll probably turn into one soon,” he said.

“I what!” Miss shrieked.

“That egg you ate, she had to have enchanted it,” Loki said, “that's how I came across these.  They're practically immortal, some of them from very different ages, but they were all beautiful ladies once. And she cursed them fake.”

“How long do I have before that happens?” Miss asked.

“You'd have to ask them,” Loki said.

“Mmmmegg.”

That was all one said with a shrug.

“Wait,” Loki said, “Where's your application?  Is it completed?”

“Yeah, I brought it upstairs, it's in the, uh, office,” she said.

She ran to keep up with his long-legged wide gait.  He took the stairs two or three at a time, and plunked himself down at the desk.  He sped through the application.  He sought any breach he could find to break the purchase of the Cadbury Eggs, rendering the purchase as a theft.  Anything that would prove she was not yet an employee when the purchase was made, or showed that she broke the contract prior to accepting the order.  He found the unsigned paper, the one with the fine print about never ever under any circumstances turning on the lamp, with the consequence of immediate termination of employment.

“Ah-hah! Here it is, it... wait... You never signed this,” he said.

“Does that mean I'm not an employee yet?” Miss asked.

He rifled through the rest of the paperwork.  He let out a heavy sigh.

“No, you're definitely employed, if you'd still like to be employed.  It's all here except this page,” Loki said.

He gently thunked his forehead against the desk.  He slid the page to her without looking.

“You still have to sign this page before you can start work, but if you don't, then the curse can't effect you,” he said.

“Can I still work here if I don't sign the page?” Miss asked.

“No.”

“I had to ask,” she said.

“I know,” he said, “I was really hoping you'd stay, too, you danced so well... Wait what are you doing?”

“Signing it,” she said.

“You can't do that, the curse can't effect you unless you sign it,” he said.

“And I can't work here if I don't, so I'm signing it,” she said, “this place is awesome, I don't care what the damn curse is, this place is worth whatever price that's gonna cost.”

The ink shimmered as she finished signing her name.  The page shimmered and shimmied out of her hand.  The rest of the stack of signed papers swirled into the air, reorganized itself into a completed application, glowed for a moment, and filed itself.  The filing cabinet slammed itself shut.  Loki sat in stunned silence.  

“You didn't have to do that,” he said.

“Look,” she said, “if that bitch can manage to turn me into a fake, she's gonna have a hard time doing it.”

“That's true,” Loki said.

“Besides,” she said, “Operation Food Safety Inspection is going to be awesome.”

“What's Operation Food Safety Inspection?” Loki asked warily.

“It's my plan to get that bitch to break up with Thor and hook up with us before that other bitch gets a chance to marry you.  C'mon, I'll show you how it works,” Miss said.