Well, basically, you can't use your timeline

It turns out people with one-letter Twitter handles aren't the only ones to get unwanted attention.

It's 2007, you've heard about this Twitter thing all the coolest people in tech are talking about, and you want to get in on the action. You check, and find that no-one's yet used your first name as an account name. Brilliant!

One problem. Your first name is Britain

So you get a lot of tweets from confused people, especially around the 4th of July.

@britain @england SORRY NOT SORRY FOR DUMPING YOUR TEA IN THE HARBOR SUCKER

— ♡ niam ♡ (@Mccameltoe) July 4, 2013

@britain FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON. USA. ALL. THE. WAY. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

— Roscoe Coltrane (@_kay_doh) July 4, 2013

And when a certain TV show is on:

Already seen my winner for @Britain got talent #Recce<3 xx @katiemerrygold7 xx

— Demi Lil'Mix Bennett (@DemRogerss1) February 1, 2014

@britain is content to deal with all this for now, but is willing to hand over his account... a for a price

I would probably give up this handle to the UK government, but only in exchange for an aristocratic title or something.

(Via Metafilter http://www.metafilter.com/136177/Risk#5399118.)

Still, at least he's not @stokeontrent

I'M JUST