My wife, eating pumpkin cheesecake and finishing a story about the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to her in this hotel room: so that's the worst thing to ever happen to me.
-short pause-
Her: WAIT! MY DAD DIED!
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My wife, eating pumpkin cheesecake and finishing a story about the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to her in this hotel room: so that's the worst thing to ever happen to me.
-short pause-
Her: WAIT! MY DAD DIED!

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@neil-gaiman please know this is all your fault, we binged Good Omens and cravings are particularly vulnerable during hormonal times and so we had to go get crepes.
P.S.
Yes, they were french crepes. No, no aristocrats or proletariats were harmed in the making of this post.