#9415

Honey, I am so sorry that you are hurting and scared.  I am sorry that your dad lost his job.  However, I’m really glad that you’re expressing how you feel, because keeping it inside would be even worse.

One thing I want to say is that your Counselor has her job because she wants to help people like you.  I don’t think that she is bothered by you, just like I’m not bothered by people who message in often looking for help.  I volunteer here because I want to help people in pain, and it makes me happy when they come back again and again because it means that I’m doing my job.  I really think you should contact your counselor if you feel like you need her.  

Bankruptcy is definitely scary, but it is also something that many, many people have gone through.  Yes, it’s hard, and it’s sad, and I’m sure that you are full of emotions.  I would love it if you would continue to express those.  

As someone who has a $0 income, I can assure you that there are many programs available to those who need them.  If you are in the US - which I am assuming - there are food stamps, scholarships, and a variety of other assistance.  I would suggest starting with your State Board of Health website, as it often contains information on low cost or free health care.  Here is a web site that can help you to find Free Medical Clinics: Free Medical Search.  Often if you go to, or even call, one of these clinics and say that you need mental health, they can point you in the direction of a low-cost or free mental health professional (for example, my fiance and I found a program where we pay $5 a session).

Finally, I would highly suggest that you talk to your parents about your concerns.  They may have plans that you aren’t aware of, or, at the very least, if they know you are worrying they can include you in the process by providing you with information.

Right now you need a support system.  Turn to friends, family, and trusted adults for this.  If you are going to school, speak with your school counselor and talk to any teachers / administration that you have a good relationship with.  Just remember, your friends may not know how to respond to this situation.  That does not mean that they don’t care.  Many people, particularly young people, simply don’t have the experience.  That doesn’t mean that they can’t listen to you and offer support, but be careful not to overload any single friend.

Here are some links that may help you through this time. While many of these links are aimed at parents, I feel like they may help you to understand how this bankruptcy will directly affect you:

TheBankruptcySite.org: How Will Filing Bankruptcy Affect My Children?  The site itself is very informative, and you may want to do some research there.  You may also want to share this link with your parent(s).

Bankruptcy and Children

DebtHealth.com: Three Effects Bankruptcy Could Have on Your Children

Neuner & Ventura, LLP, Attorneys at Law: Bankruptcy and Your Children by Steven R. Neuner

The Bankruptcy Center of Young, Klein & Associates, LLC: Filing for Bankruptcy as a Parent: How Will My Children be Affected?

Three Thrifty Guys: Watching Your Dad Go Through Bankruptcy From an older perspective, but still informative.

Today Money: ‘Why Middle Class Mothers and Fathers Are Going Broke’ An informative article.

The Student Room: My dad’s about to go bankrupt, I’m scared for my family. I’d appreciate your help.This is a conversation on a forum for teens about a situation much like yours.  You may glean some information from the conversation, or you may want to post on the forum yourself.

College Confidential: Loans for Student When Parents File for Bankruptcy? Another forum discussion.  There is some information here about getting loans when your parents have gone bankrupt.

Elite Daily: Never Give Up: The Lesson I Learned From My Bankrupt Father That Made Me A Multi-Millionaire by Gurbaksh Chahal 

LegalZoom: How to Apply for a Student Loan if My Parents Filed Bankruptcy by Mark Vansetti, Demand Media

Forbes: How To Bounce Back From Bankruptcy & The Loss Of Your Home by Cameron King - You may want to share this with your parents.

There are other such links out there, if you want to search.  Use keywords such as “Bankrupt,” “Parents,” “Child,” and “Affect.”  It may be good for you to discuss what is going on on a message board, just be aware that there are always going to be negative people who are out there just to make you feel bad (just like here on tumblr).  It’s best to ignore them - after all, they don’t know you! - and to focus on the positive messages.

If you search, you can also find many articles and posts about people who found their bankruptcy to be a good lesson, or that found no shame in it, such as with this link: TheBillfold.com: I Declared Bankruptcy, And I’m Neither Proud Nor Ashamed by Lily Stevens.

While the idea of a bankruptcy is scary, the reality of it is usually much less dramatic.  Yes, it affects a person when it comes to credit, loans, and other such things, but overall it is just another speed bump to overcome.  I fully believe that you, and your parents, are strong enough to make it through this.

If you want to talk, or if you have other questions, never hesitate to write in.  I’d be more than happy to continue speaking with you, and I know the other mods would be too.