#9.12.2016

literally listening to sadie robertson’s breakup video literally means so much after my breakup.  I'm not even kidding i wish i could bring myself to think this about him. its so hard for me and i hope (even though its been enough time i should be over it) that i can move on and be happy for him and me and whoever we end up with. in the video sadie says “i hope blake finds somebody so much better than me in every single way. because if i wasn't right for him, i know somebody’s perfect for him. because i do love him, i did love him a lot. and if you dated someone you probably loved them a lot too.” this is literally how i wish i could feel. i want to be over it. i want to let go. but its so insanely hard for me because i thought it was perfect. i thought we were perfect. but i know that God knows whats going on and i know i have to trust him. then sadie says instead of being bitter, jealous, or angry, want whats best for them. respect that you were in a relationship. you broke up. it happened. it was terrible, it was sad but you can learn from that and you should be proud of that. literally she is wise beyond her years. this is exactly what i needed. when i reblogged her video shortly after she posted it i never knew id be looking at it from the breakup side. i figured id share it and somebody somewhere would see it and maybe it would be just what they needed. little did i know that in just a short amount of time it would be just what i need. just what would break me down and make me realize how dumb i was being about it. from right know I'm planning to not be bound in bitterness. i don't want what happened to hold me down or hold me back. i don't ever want to say that i wish i would have or i wish this or that. i don't want to have regrets. so from today out, thats the plan. 

Got a new phone! No cracked screen and not nearly as slow as my old one.