#8usted

roughly... 5 or 6 sweeps ago, this all took place, was only a little over 6 sweeps myself so yeah it’s closer to 5. I was doing my thing as a high-priority courier, getting important things to important places, very fast, very discreetly. I was young but like, damn good at it and even had quite a few repeat clients. did I end up in some trouble from time to time? sure! it’s a dangerous gig! (hell my mate got me to retire from that because she was so worried) but sometimes, you know, things get to be a little more than you can handle...

was doing a run for a relatively new client, only done one or two runs for them before, some real high tech stuff they needed to get to their client. I had all that previous work experience that they loved, I was perfect for the job! so yeah, in the middle of my like, third run or whatever. a couple of people start giving chase, all slowly and trying not to let anything on at first, but once I start getting evasive they book it after me. unfortunately for me, whoever the hell was organizing these fuckers knew me well enough to grab and corner me in an alley.

this part gets... more fuzzy for me, both due to what all happened and from how much I want to distance myself from the memories of all that. but uh... basically like, big guy starts questioning and torturing me, shatters bones, destroys my insides, last thing I really remember is just like... something going through the bottom of my jaw and out the top of my head. I don’t remember what. I don’t even want to try. the only thing that truly sticks with me is this fucking... weird vision I had after blacking out.

basically i’m just laying there in pitch blackness, up against a wall, unable to move, whole body screaming in agony, the works. suddenly there’s this BRIGHT ass flash of green light, almost positive it’s my blood color which might be why this next part feels so crystal clear despite the pitch black. this figure starts slowly approaching me, it’s absolutely my ancestor, I know it in my heart (what’s left of it I guess) that it’s her. I’m basically just fading out, assuming I’m about to be taken to some afterlife before she puts a hand to my chest and with a green glow I literally feel like, life being restored to me is the best way to put it. everything is pain but I’m not dying at all, and things are going numb. what she said as she did that I still remember exactly.

“It’s not your time yet, dear. I mean, we haven’t even been introduced!”

and then boom, I snap awake floating in like, a fuckin sci-fi ass tank of goo with no feeling in any of my body. everything’s a blur for a few moments before I start to recognize a figure, then it’s coming into focus as this funky looking blueblood guy in glasses is just... scrambling around all surprised and waving at me. I kinda... try to wave back but it’s hard when you don’t know where your limbs are. dude freaks out, I don’t know if I actually waved back or if it was just the movement that spooked him but he immediately goes up to the side of the tank I can’t see and the whole thing starts to drain, I’m still super numb as it gets to the bottom and I’m just kinda laying there learning to breathe air again, feeling sorta starting to come back as he just picks me up in his arms and starts disconnecting pipes or wires or something from my back, just going “there there dear, don’t worry you’re safe” and stuff but I’m like, just high out of my mind to a degree that I’m just fuckin confused as shit lmao.

anyways he helps get me cleaned up, introduces himself as Deronn, explains to me about how he basically had to rebuild my body from scratch I was so fucked up. I guess I just start... busting up laughing as he explains things, since he awkwardly tries to laugh with me and that sticks as like, probably one of the most heartwarming moments of my life as I’m just... naked in a bath with this guy I don’t even know cleaning me up because I’m too weak to move, and I’m just laughing my ass off while the guy is just, trying to laugh along while all super worried that he fucked something up in my brain or whatever and then I just go, after like a minute or two of laughing, “I’m good, thanks” and fuckin pass out in the tub again. I must have been high as shit, actually.

So Deronn’s gotta be like, 12 sweeps old at this point I’d think, and he’s basically just taken me in and started rehabilitating me. teaching me about all the cybernetics I got installed in me, all the ins and outs, how they’re used, what all I should be doing with them. Periodically he’s giving me software updates for everything he did with my brain... All this tech is like, stupidly advanced, stuff I don’t think ever was actually made by trolls unless Deronn did some really crazy reverse engineering of stuff. I’m just being a prissy little 6 sweep old bitch but he’d always counter me with just being always kind and understanding and... calling me princess. aaaahhh shit I know where that comes from now. fuck me.

so I’m slowly recovering and mom comes to ‘visit’ (probably to bite Deronn’s head off, I never told him that) so I have to get up and explain to her what’s happening super fast and letting her know I’m okay and not there against my will or anything. mom’s ready to begrudgingly let me stay as long as I need to, so long as I’m ready to come back with her asap. I keep staying with Deronn as he helps me get better and used to my new body.

as soon as I’m like, fully mobile again I’m just like, all sure of myself so I go up to him like, hey I gotta repay you somehow for everything you’ve done, so I’m gonna stay a while longer and help you out, and hopefully be an awesome courier for him. Deronn’s IMMEDIATELY trying to shoot me down and telling me that nono I don’t owe him anything but like, you know, I’m a stubborn little princess and all that so eventually I wear him down and just... (ahaha fuck I’m crying because I know where this gooooes) eventually he does agree that me getting out again would be a good idea, especially since I’ll be so much stronger now. I’m all smug and confident in myself and get in touch with some of my old employers to smugly tell them that yes, I’m alive after like a quarter of a sweep with no word, and ready to do runs again. and uh, the one i was doing runs for that got me into that first mess? apparently didn’t exist anymore so that’s spooky.

I’m out doing runs for money and as favors for Deronn now, while giving him a part of my payout so that he’s able to purchase things that I was able to run back to him. (he was stupidly adamant about not going lower than 60-40 split for me, I even tried to sneak more money to him sometimes but it’d just end up next to my coon again in the evening lmao) biiiig problem for me was that like, I was stupidly overconfident and doing risky stuff all the time for no reason, getting myself hurt and coming back with a big grin as Deronn had to fix me up from scraps or falls or anything like that... the biggest problem came when I showed up back at his place after a bad run, three bullet holes in me and bleeding like crazy with a big dumb grin on my face like I was the coolest fucking kid in the empire. I woke up in the tube again after that, apparently one of those bullets went through my heart!

so uh, after that there was a lot of crying, him holding me tight, just happy that I was still alive and all that but there was a really big ultimatum after that. Deronn tells me he’s not gonna be around forever, I’m gonna need to take care of myself again eventually, and he can’t keep fixing me up like this. I couldn’t bear to see him like this so of course, I agreed that I’d be allowed to keep doing the jobs, so long as I was actually taking care to not get hurt at all to the best of my ability. I still didn’t believe him, though. He was a blueblood, he was gonna be around forever, right? yeah... anyways it went smoothly from there on until like, half a sweep in. we were close, I was helping him with the computer stuff, and getting ready to leave back with my lusus in maybe a perigee or so.

one night, I’m out on a run doing my typical work, I’m cloaked invisible and in the shadows and everything, learned so much more from everything I’ve done and had happen. Suddenly in the city there’s just this... Massive flash, and a thunderous, powerful explosion that rocks the entire damn hivecluster, I bet you could have felt it for miles and miles. I didn’t think about that though because that explosion came from around the area that Deronn lived. I fucking bolted straight to the scene of the explosion, the only problem was that there was nothing but a massive, scorched crater waiting for me. the map on my hud confirmed everything I dreaded, Deronn’s hive was at ground zero. I basically collapsed, bawling my eyes out until my mom came and picked me up, carrying me in her arms the entire time we were underground, headed to my new hive. my old one had been completely destroyed, apparently. 

I... still don’t know what happened. I know he had a fusion reactor that powered all of his hive, that’s the only thing that could have caused such a blast but... was it intentional? an accident?? sabotage??? it still hurts just thinking about it, knowing I’ll never get any closure. by sunset he’s kissing my forehead telling me to have a good day and tell him all about it when I get back, by sunrise I’m crying myself to sleep in my mom’s arms. Deronn was without a doubt the kindest, most compassionate soul that I think has ever existed, always strong and ready to protect me, give me a shoulder to cry on, make sure I was taken care of and always had somewhere to go...

...fuuuuck. that’s why I feel the way I do about Valter too, isn’t it? hhhhhfuck.

anyways. I never got to say goodbye, how much he meant to me, anything like that. there’s always a place in my synthetic heart for him, especially considering he’s the one who put it there and fixed it when it was broken and everything. I’m never going to be truly over it, but it’s... he changed my outlook on life so dramatically, literally saved my life on several occasions, so like...