Oh my goooodnesssss can it be next Friday already pls

Yeah today’s my dad’s birthday, I believe he’s 53 now. 53 wow. I don’t know but that seems kind of young still, anyway. Yesterday I was really just laying in my own misery, I know this should be a happy post since it’s my dad’s birthday but lately I’ve been feeling like this, like super blank, haha cotton swab. But really I was just laying down on my bed last night reading up on a manga. Just that for hours, like that’s my only responsibility. I need to feel more value in myself. I feel like I’m really letting myself go. I’m even getting fatter, that’s how bad it is. Not that I don’t want to get fatter, I do want to gain weight but I mean I’ve promised myself that I was going to gain some abs before summer yet I’m doing nothing about it and my room is still a mess. A huge fucking mess. Like my life. However I was thinking of getting my life in order, and it was different from all the times I tell myself that. I do actually want to get my room cleaned as well as get everything organized. I have to visit my dad today but still I think I just need a day to myself and I’m not saying that as like a day to completely pig out and do nothing… well kind of. Not really. I really want to put my life together. I’m 18, I need to get my shit together, I’m an adult. I know age is nothing but a number and it doesn’t necessarily signify me being an adult, but still. I’ve been in college and living away from my parents for two years, I need to do more than just lay around still acting like a high school student. Ah look it seems like I’m bipolar or some shit, which I think I am. I need to own up to my actions and take responsibility, I’m not a child anymore. Anyway, I really do hope that my dad will have a fantastic day today and he’s happy. He deserves it, I know it. He can be a pain but he’s my dad.

Anyway, I really do hope that my dad will have a fantastic day today and he's happy. He deserves it, I know it. He can be a pain but he's my dad.