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Crashing to Earth|| Remus and Sirius|| August 16, 2015
Sirius’ head was pounding. His stomach was so full and his heart so quick, that he hadn’t needed to eat in days. Each step forward he took rattled through his body until he felt his skull might shatter, but he moved on, trudging down sidewalks and sitting only to take a train or two.
He hadn’t left Alecto’s until it had reached the point where he had begun to go to bed feeling worse than when he’d woken up and had then woken up feeling even worse than that. His blood was a mix of drugs and potions that left his head spinning and his mouth dry. Anxiety prickled up and down his skin hotly and his palms were sweating.
A man met his eyes for too long--whole minutes? or maybe just seconds--and Sirius quickly looked back down, feeling as though his entire past could be read in his eyes. Or that the man might call the cops.
If they found something in his blood they couldn’t identify because of the potions, would they dissect him? Would muggles ever really dissect a wizard to figure out how it worked? Sirius glanced around, then pushed himself further into the corner of his seat on the train.
The train stopped, and Sirius stood with a groan before getting above ground as quickly as possible. He was beginning to feel claustrophobic.
If I just get to Remus’ house, I won’t throw up, Sirius thought, holding back the urge to hurl.
It seemed like he’d crossed a desert by the time he reached Remus’ door. Hot, anxious, and paranoid, he was sure he smelled like he’d spent weeks in the underground sweating instead of just a few hours. He banged on Remus’ door anyway, then waited for it to open.
The Sienn was on fire from the hills to the river and he stood watching it from the banks. In the distance where it had already passed he could see small remainders among the ash. Leaves or nests in the upper branches now burning to embers in the dark. The vanguard of the fire was coming for the water and the summer wind was behind it. Out beyond the hills there was a light like the glow from a city but no city was there.
They had spaced the regiment out along the waterline with five hundred feet between each soldier, watching for sparks that jumped the river. At their backs was the Saroh, brother forest to the Sienn.
Kaytai came up and stood there beside him with an expression of awe. Ai, he said. It’s a sight.
Tramis looked at him and then back to the fire. Did I ever tell you about Lliara? he said.
Only about your sweetmate there, who I met the once.
Tramis shifted on his feet. Across the river the flames looked nearly liquid as they rose. Some were taller than the trees.
It was small, he said. A thousand in it. Less. Only a few real stone houses, the rest were wood. And the farms, a few trails...
His eyes strayed to a spark that had wandered up and out over the river. Kaytai eyed it as well, but it flickered and went out. Tramis looked back to the Sienn and raised his arm and gestured.
That’s where Lliara was, he said.
Kaytai said nothing.
The smoke had gone across the moon, and in the brightness of the fire there were no stars. Around the bend of the river they could see soldiers stretching away. Calling to each other as they spotted sparks or fire growing closer. The heat was rising and he wiped away sweat and looked into the trees.
I’m sorry I seemed impressed, Kaytai said.
What?
By the fire. I’ve no right being in awe of something that’s killed so much.
Did they say how far it’s gone yet? How many acres?
They’ve given the square fields of it, some five thousands. Almost half the Sienn, they said. Started somewhere near Eston, spread both north and south, with the wind.
And the villages?
They tried to get warning to them, the ones that had transports, but most of them never had ties to the City. I don’t know how many made it, or what’s left. They said that everything between here and Eston is gone.
It's five hundred fields to Eston.
Ia.
All of it?
All.
Tramis looked north, to where the untouched trees lay in darkness. Against the light reflected in the river he could see soldiers in heavy gear struggle across on a rope, bracing themselves on rocks.
The front wall of the fire came closer until at last they could see the line of it break through the trees. He had an urge to draw his sword against it but did not move. The wind was laced with sparks and blew hard against them and they turned to look to the forest behind them. There were shouts along the road and the sound of trees being flattened. Kaytai wiped his forehead of sweat with the back of his arm, and even in the darkness Tramis could see that his knuckles were white.
It took an hour, but the fire moved up the river and did not cross. Where once there had been leaves and streams there was now a dead thicket of black trunks and a haze of steam. Smoke hung over everything and he could not stop coughing. Kaytai thumped him on the back and gestured with his head.
We should move.
Where?
To reinforce upriver. I don’t know how many they have there.
A wind was blowing out of the north. It came cool across their faces and blew some of the smoke up into the night. Tramis took a long clear breath and then when he swallowed and spit there was soot in it. Foul, he said.
They walked up the road and toward the bend in the river. There was a group gathered there, standing motionless. Kaytai stopped for a long moment as if he knew what was ahead. Then he stumbled forward and came around the edge of the trees.
The mountains were afire. The forward peaks were dark and full but a line of flame was spread across them, and behind it there were the lights of scattered trees still burning. Below them lay the City. Kaytai went to his knees. Tramis looked up to where the Spire lights were shining and through the smoke he could hear distantly the noise of many bells.
Oh God, Kaytai was saying. Oh God.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Honestly, it just gets harder. As always, he was my very first thought when I woke up. Then, he stays in my thoughts. I miss him a wholeeeeee lot today. I hope he had a wonderful day and kept smiling. Oh, how I miss his smile so very, very, very, much. I wish he was watching Cutthroat Kitchen with me. Oh, how I miss that.
kateomoennig: Gone fishin. @nicolpaone

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5 positive things
Did laundry
Organized computer files
Got my school supplies together
Cleaned up the back yard
Ate the food of my people for dinner. Dinuguan and kare-kare make me happy
So here I am in my new apartment In a big city, they just dropped me off It’s so much colder than I thought it would be So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on Wish I’d never grown up I wish I’d never grown up